Waxtravaganza: How Do We Make It Better for the Next One?

Waxtravaganza: How Do We Make It Better for the Next One?

Those were Tucks exact first words to me when we were at the tap house after the CSAUP…

Concept: Hit as many AO’s in the Waxhaw region as we can safely traverse in one day. Ended up with 7 total AO’s. 2 new(Prickle & Goo, The Lycan), 2 legacy (Commitment, THE Floater) and 3 other AO’s (Blackhawk, Morning Woods, Pursuit) that have grown over the last couple of years.

Here’s what went down as best as I can recall…


6:45 am Ruckers arrive to prepare for their long walk around Waxhaw.

7:00 am (right on time) 6 Ruckers: Pennywise, Scuba, Jingles, Turnbuckle, Radar and Breadbowl launched on their quest to carry weight and/or walk the  course.

Shortly after the Ruckers launch YHC realized I had to go drop off some waters and snacks at Commitment. Arrived back just in time to the rest of the Bootcampers and all of a sudden it was 7:30.

Long DiCCS (3 mins) were delivered as promised by YHC. Plenty of phones and plenty of CPR certifications in case we needed it. Thankfully we had the former and thankfully we didn’t need the latter.
7:33 came in quick so we grabbed the flags and were off on our opening Mosey from THE Floater to Grace Presbyterian Church parking lot (1.2 miles) for 10 minutes of what will be called Prickle and Goo. A stretching and flexibility workout with BroGA led by none other than Paper Jam, our newly adopted F3 Waxhaw brother from the SOB. Thanks to SOB for giving up this prized possession. He is fitting right in and we’re all glad to have him. After a well received stretch and some mumble chatter about how our Ms will be so impressed with our flexibility… we had to move to our next AO.

Next up is a mosey through Pursuit and MB walking trails. It got a little tense once we got into the trails and some were questioning where the heck we were going. We finally made our way back to civilization and headed up Creekview to MB Parkway and eventually the clubhouse where we stopped for 5 minutes of Mary. And now time for our first Audible. We had a plan in case it rained to just use the mean streets of Millbridge and Walnut  Creek to get to and from Blackhawk but we didn’t really think we’d need it after Rubbermaid gave the ole thumbs up the day before. Got a message from Jingles that bridge was closed for some reason, so we ran the alternate route and ended up running past the suspension bridge. We decided to check it out and it turned out some kids were playing a prank and put caution tape on the bridge to make it appear closed. We re-adjusted and continued on the trail from the bridge the rest of the way to Blackhawk where Atlas and Cobbler were waiting with Bloody Mary’s in hand for our arrival.

Since we arrived a little behind schedule, Atlas had to cut the Weinke short and just do one Jack Web with Merkins and LBCs in a 1:4 ratio. (Oddly, Cobbler continued to drink the Bloody Mary’s…) After 10 & 40 and some shinannigans from Dasher with Bottlecap’s phone (and two more BM’s for Cobbler) it was time to move on to Commitment. Back we went through Morning Woods (Carolina Thread Trail) and this time ran right through the caution tape. I didn’t see anyone bite the big one on the trail but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened. There were some slick areas out there but I think we all made it relatively unscathed.

Arrive at Commitment, still a few minutes behind schedule so I’m yelling up ahead to “Get the  Bootcamp Started!” Popeye jumps right in and takes the reigns for what would be some kind of special awful. We did 2 x merkins at each tree on the way to the rock pile. Once we arrived at the pile we all grabbed a rock for Curls, Shoulder presses then a combo of curls and presses.  Next, on your 6 for Chest press and then the most awful thing in the world which was a combination chest press into a v-up and then shoulder press. Remind me never to get on Popeye’s bad side… A special thank you to the site Qs of  Blackhawk and Commitment for being flexible and getting us back on schedule.

Time was called after we completed the allotment of planned reps.(Thank God!) and we started the looooong mosey (2.8 miles) back to town. I knew we would need to make a stop so I asked Tuck to Mary us all at the pocket park at Fallondale. It was a little less than halfway but the remainder of the route was a “short” up hill and then a long, flat mosey back down Waxhaw-Marvin Rd. YHC was gassed at this point and only adrenaline and my brothers around me kept me going.

Arrive at 701 Main for THE Floater where Zinfandel stepped in as Q since none of the site Qs were present. (I swear that site is getting soft since I resigned my site Q duties…) Zinfandel led us in a Merkin/Airpress Web. 1 M:4 AP. After 10 M: 40 AP we started our mosey to The Lycan. On the way we were supposed to stop at South Providence School but about half the PAX went ahead to Waxhaw Elementary and the other half actually followed directions. (At least that’s how I remember it…) On the basketball court at S. Providence we did an Incline Merkin:Wall Dips web. Got to 5:20 and  it was time to get moving again. We finished our Mosey, cruising up Bad Idea and around the cemetery on our way to Waxhaw Elementary where we met up with the rest of the PAX.

Posse led us for The Lycan noting that we will plant a workout here at this underserved school in order to give it the focus it needs from a 3rd F perspective. Even though this school is bubble-adjacent, the students here do not have the resources we inside-the-bubblers take for granted. Let’s do something about that! Here we did 7s starting with Russian Get ups x 1 on one curb and Bear Crawl to opposite curb for curb agilities x 6 then crab walk back until 6:1 reached. Ouch! Next up were 1-19 drop-off spaces along the curb in front of the school. From 10 down to 1 do equal number of UTI(U-shape arms over head, T shape and I for by your side) Diamond Merkins running to the other side of parking lot and back between each space. From 11 – 19 do equal number of Big Boy Situps and run to the other side of lot between spaces. YHC didn’t make it through all of the spaces but gave it good whirl. I don’t really know if anyone made it through for that matter as time was called and we had to make it back for COT.

We started the Mosey back to where we started at THE Floater. This time we used the sidewalk and followed 75 all the way in. We crossed the famous train bridge and met the Rucking crew on the way. Perfect timing! (Wow, who planned this?) As we were wrapping up the run several PAX were finished and YHC was just under 13 miles when crossing the finish line so what do I do? Keep going until I get to 13.1. (Straa – February Half Marathon, check!) Thank you Chastain for the push to get it done.

All totaled we traversed some 12.5 miles. Some less, some more depending on when you started or finished and how much extra you did. 11 miles of the course plus some going back for the 6 made for a little bit longer run than promised for those participating start-to-finish. Sorry, my bad…

During COT I announced that this is probably the most stupid thing I’ve ever done in my life. And Twinkle Toes quips “Didn’t you get married a second time?” Well, I guess you got me there Twinkle Toes…
Countorama & Namorama complete. 65 total PAX the best we could remember including 3 Double Respects, 13 Respects and 3 2.0’s. Way to go fellas! We have something special here in F3 Waxhaw.

Our Nantan, Bottlecap, shared some encouraging words about what F3 is, To plant and grow small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership. He shared his personal experience with his shield lock group and how they are intentional in striving for a more meaningful bond that is more than just pushing each other to exercise and includes other facets of life and deeper, more personal relationships. I admire Bottlecap for his outward commitment to his lord and his leadership of F3 Waxhaw. Thank you, brother for taking us out with your words of wisdom and a prayer.

I want to give a shout out to the Wildebeest crew. Premature, Chicken Little, Sugar Daddy and Mad Dog. Way to stick it out for the duration boys! I know you have my back. If any of you ever plan something this stupid, I will be the first to tell you, “don’t do it!” But I’ll also be right by your side when you do it anyway…

Twinkle Toes! Thank you brother for leading me back here to F3. My F3 experience has made an enormous impact on my life and I have you to thank for it. You can do it! Have faith bro.

High Hat, C3PO and Doughboy. Having your 2.0’s Rock, T1000 and Breadbowl out with you was awesome and I hope you bringing them had a positive impact.

All of the Double Respects, Chopper, Chainsaw and Blue Screen showing age ain’t nothin’ but a number.

Site Q’s Paper Jam, JWoww, Popeye, Atlas, Cobbler, Zinfandel and Posse: Thanks for being flexible and leading us through the bootcamps when all we were thinking about was laying on the ground and quitting, you guys kept us moving and engaged. Rubbermaid for your consultation and pre-viewing of the thread trail the day before.

Centerfold and Recalculating for jumping in and taking the water and fuel on the tour making sure we had what we needed at each stop.

Shop Dog for making sure we had the 6 covered and sharing your bike when PAX were needing a break.

Midriff and his M for taking photos at the end. Documenting this stupidity was extremely important and you really came through for us with some great marketing photos.

All the SOB guys showing up in support for the Waxhaw region.

Clown Car Bushwood guys made their mark with the sleeveless golf shirts. (Classic)

Wolverine for hooking us up at the Taphouse for an early opening.

Rudy for inspiring me on the course and for supplying the Pizza at the Taphouse. That hit the spot!

Sledge-O-Matic for providing some class A entertainment with guitar and vocals. You Rocked the house bro! (Heard he might have a gig at the Taphouse now)

Tuck! My man Tuck came through with a great course and a lot of help preparing the entire event. Couldn’t have done this without your puppet mastery brother. Thanks for picking up the 6 and making sure we didn’t get lost in the jungles of Mill Bridge and Waxhaw. (I’m looking forward to our next collaboration)

Posse: The Class A, No. 1 Weaseliest of Weasel-Shakers for listening to an idea and pushing me to follow through with it. (Note to self , don’t communicate that you have an idea to Posse ever again unless you actually want to do follow through with it because he will make you do it anyway)


All I know is that a brief conversation with Posse at Dunkin Donuts and an introduction to Tuck is a dangerous combination. Just so everyone knows, this thing was supposed to have been much “better” had we been able to safely pass into to the back side of Lawson or if Eutaw Rd didn’t have a locked gate preventing passage through to the back side of Alma Village. You have no idea how “unfortunate” we were.

The last thing anyone is thinking after completing this awfulness is “When do we get to do this again?” Right? Wrong!

It seems as though this type of event is something we all very desperately needed. An opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do something thought to be impossible, an opportunity to build a bond with your F3 brothers, an opportunity to show your 2.0 what it is to persevere through a difficult obstacle, an opportunity to act like a kid and do something completely stupid and utterly pointless (#CSAUP) just for the fun of it! Whatever your reason for participating, I hope you got what you came for and maybe something you didn’t expect. And for those reading that did not participate, what is holding you back?

So the day before the CSAUP I was walking to my truck from my office and noticed how beautifully the sun was shining and then saw what I thought was cookies & cream yogurt splattered all over my windshield. Turns out it was God telling me that everything would be ok as he had his largest and most diarrhetic eagle fly over and drop a nice, yogurty crap on my windshield. It was at that moment, I knew everything was going to be ok. All my worries were gone for I knew that when a bird craps on your windshield, it means good luck. (At least that’s what I choose to believe).

As you may have noticed, YHC had a lot of help with this event and no one man can do everything or really be truly prepared for all scenarios. My biggest worry was the weather. Would it rain? Would it be cold? Would we be able to run the trail? Would we stay on schedule and meet the time objectives? Would we have enough water for everyone at the stops? It turns out all of the above were covered with a little bit of help from the man upstairs and the fine men of F3 Waxhaw really stepping up in a big way.  Great job by everyone. Whether you actively helped with preparation or participated and pushed through to the end or you dropped in/out at various stages or simply stopped for a beverage at the Taphouse, you all had a part in this. So I guess that just means we’re all C(F)SAUP!

Until The Next CSAUP, Peace!

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