2nd Annual EFFEE Awards

2nd Annual EFFEE Awards

Friday 12/7 was a night for the ages as 26 Pax from WUC had the opportunity to celebrate the 2nd Annual EFFEE Awards hosted by Briarcrest.

To kick off the night the red carpet (which Dancing Bear confirmed that the cat did not pee on) welcomed some of the pax finest outfits.

•  Recalc was in his NJ finest attire reminiscent of when Bobby Hurley was still only playing AAU ball
• Chicken Little plucked his best feathers from the closet
• Our Master of Ceremony – Zinfandel was dressed for the occasion and ready to begin the show.

So as the cocktail hour concluded, and guest were told to please proceed to their tables the Lawson group was ready to be ushered into the main clubhouse for the featured event –  oh wait, this is it….Ok, everyone, please find a seat and let the show begin!

Unfortunately, Lt Rubbermaid was unable to attend this evenings event, but luckily, he sent General Pyrex to provide an opening address to the group and our first toast of the night!

At the conclusion of the opening remarks, the MC regained control of the microphone and proceeded with a pinning ceremony for all Participants from non Briarcrest with Participation Ribbons, and then presented all Briarcrest Residents with slightly larger, but most definitely over compensated ribbons to wear for the evening.

Next, we were able to check in with Recalc who was on special assignment as the Field Reporter for the night to get a sense of the crowd.  For his efforts he was awarded a special “49 and Bitchin’ sash.

The next measure of business was to complete a year in review of GroupMe by Bottlecap which included the announcement that in 2018 we have outperformed our forecast of 15,000 messages for the year and have already reached 17,500 YTD.  This was followed by a few charts that showed even with a slow Q2 (related to potential M&A discussions with Slack that GroupMe rebounded in Q3 to reach all new levels.

And after the completion of our trended reports it was now on to the awards.  Below is a list of the awards presented:

• Triple Crown EFFEE brought to you by – Briarcrest Tractors: These big lots don’t mow themselves
  • Awarded to Moneyball
• Bear Grylls Award brought to you by- Bonefrog
  • Awarded to Shake & Bake
• Grumpy Old Men EFFEE brought to you by – Oops I Crapped my Pants: Sometimes Transporter’s Shed is not close enough
  • Awarded to Recalculating
• Doppelganger EFFEE brought to you by – Frack’s Feeling Helpline
  • Awarded to Foundation
• Injury Designation EFFEE brought to you by – Rubbermaid’s Anti Fog HG
  • Awarded to Beckham
• Lurker of the Year EFFEE brought to you by – Scrawny Paper Towels: The crappy paper towels with a fake lumber jack on it
  • Awarded to Lazy Boy
• Controversy of the Year EFFEE brought to you by – PSA regarding # of days Playhouse has gone without offending someone
  • Awarded to Big 10 on behalf of #thonggate
• Cat Pee on the Carpet EFFEE brought to you by – Xerox Xtreme Steam
  • Awarded to Dancing Bear
• Overcompensating EFFEE brought to you by – F3 Secrets: These whales tell tails
  • Awarded to Fuse Box
• Q of the Year EFFEE brought to you by – Confused Alarm Clocks: Now you can feel free to show up late, leave early, or extend your workout
  • Awarded to Posse for his Bohemian Rhapsody Q
• It’s a Beautiful Day in Neighborhood EFEE brought to you by – Rubbermaid +Fog: Make that 2 at 5:15, Look like a 10 at 6:15
  • Awarded to all Briarcrest
• Wrecking Ball EFFEE brought to you by Bonefrog: What has 3 eyes? You and I when we do Bonefrog
  • Awarded to Deadwood
• Jimmy Dugan EFFEE brought to you by Wildcat Sex Panther Gloves: 60% of the time they stink all of the time
  • Awarded to Mad Dog
• Clarification EFFEE brought to you by Few’s Fonix: When all else fails, blame your keyboard
  • Awarded to Damascus
• Humanitarian of the Year EFFEE brought to you by F3 Selfie Booth: We get it, no one else will take your picture
  • Awarded to Zinfandel
• Bob Ross Pretty Meme Award brought to you by Big 10 Side Straddle Hop Repellent: Make your workout a SSH free zone
  • Awarded to Deflated

At the completion of the awards our MC provided closing remarks and that was a wrap.  Another year in the books and what a year it was.  Can only imagine what 2019 will bring.  Remember if it shows up in GroupMe it has a chance to make into an EFFEE.

In all seriousness it was a great 2^nd F opportunity with plenty of laughs at each other’s expense along with true appreciation for how F3 has extended beyond just a workout in the morning with a handful of guys.  Want to especially thank all those that helped with putting on the production and participating amongst each of the EFFEE committees and sub committees.  Want to especially thank Zinfandel for hosting us in the grand  standard ballroom for tonight.  To Deflated for all of your artwork and effort, “we” did a great job on putting those slides together.  To all the pax that could be in attendance it was good fun and should anyone be offended by anything that was said throughout the night be sure to fill out the form on the backside of the program.