Invincible…The Waxhaw Version
Inspired by the Marc Wahlberg classic, “Invincible,” I decided to come up with a football “Weinke” to spice things up a little. With dudes running on fumes from vacation, humidity, life’s struggles, I tried to drag out some laughs and old stories of the glory days when we were in pee wee, middle school, and high school football.
With excitement and nerves galore, I woke up at 4:00 am. I showed up at the Chiseled campus at 4:45 to set up our football facility. This entailed taking the wrapper off my new 5’ Jenga blocks and setting them up in a ladder formation and large circle. I’ll get back to why later. As the cars came into the parking lot, I had to direct them to different parking spots. Glad Centerfold was not around, as he usually comes in on 2 wheels and might have taken some of us out. The coupons were stacked in one corner of the asphalt field. The bricks were placed in the center of the makeshift field. We were ready to go…
Moroccan Night Clubs
Jack and Jills
Side Stradle Hops
Yoga Warrior Poses
(To honor Damascus)
OK, here’s the deal. We start out with 35 reps of something. I line everyone up. Each side (to my left and right) picks 1 receiver. I throw 3 bullets to the receivers. If they catch it, -5 off reps. If they drop it, +5 on reps. Group could drop to 20 reps or do as many as 50. Make sense? Guess you had to be there.
Did a miriad (bid word for some of you, including me) of bubble screens, slants, skinny posts, deep outs, and punt coverages. Exercises consisted on irkins, merkins, outlaws, box cutters, 21s, curls for the girls, Russian crab dips, Romanian leg lifts, Stormy Daniels (Mashers made this one up months ago), and so forth and so on. In Jenga block circle (known as “The Pit”), Pax had to weave in and out like the commercial with the dude from Mike and Molly. When they came out of “The Pit,” I would direct the brothers to go left or right. Would then randomly throw a laser to one of them. Part of throw/catch scenario before.
On the Jenga “Ladder,” we did quick steps on our toes. Think of running backs going through the “rope drills.” Again, part of throw/catch scenario before.
Punt coverage was fun. Surge (self proclaimed rugby star with some mad skills) kicked the ball as far as he could. We had to sprint to the ball. Everyone had to touch it or run through the end zone, like you see the Tarheel football team perform on TV. Come on Fusebox, I’m expecting a dig.
A lot of great engagement by the Pax. High Hat kept me in stitches. When guys would run routes, he would cover them. Falcon volunteered for everything. Must have been his Russel Wilson mass produced Seahawks jersey that inspired him. 😊 Judge Smalls almost dove for one. Sledge ran a 4.32678 forty on a go route. Very impressive. Forgot to catch the ball though. Maybe because I was 15 yards off the target. Others were stars as well. Can’t remember them all.
Special thanks to Loafer to give me a long leash to run with this Weinke. I had to run a lot of audibles, as I game planned for 8-10 dudes. The brothers came out in force. Already thinking of ways to tweak workout next time.
This was hilarious. Asked for 1 quarterback and 1 receiver. Receiver had 7 seconds to find a hole in the zone and “sit down” for a potential pass/reception. 17 of us spread out and did side straddle hops to create diversions and small windows to throw in. When High Hat ran his pattern, he found a spot and literally “sat down.” Judge Smalls overthrew him. Go figure.
High Hat- F3 Dads camp coming up. Some spots are left, gents.
Turnbuckle- pickup furniture for Christ’s Closet this weekend
August 14-house in Pineville needs to be cleaned out. Full of
furniture. Turnbuckle out of town. Shop Dog will be the lead
Sledge- Playing at Mary O’Neills Friday night at 7:00 pm. NO Freebird requests, please. Just kidding. Go watch our brother lay it down.
Turnbuckle- Kevin at Rice and Beans. Terminally ill. 10 days to live. Prayers galore that he goes peacefully
Surge- Lauren is God daughter. Was in an accident some months ago. Part of skull replaced yesterday. Went well. Prayers for Lauren’s quick recovery.