Yes, it is true. I Q’d Diesel barefoot. And I arrived at 5:35am with the truck at full throttle, though the workout starts at 5:30. But that is only because I woke up at 5:31. I apologize to everyone for that tardiness, and have no excuse. The reason (not excuse) is that I turned my normal Friday alarm off last week to take a day off, and failed to reset it properly. (Side note: I would have preferred that more of you were impressed by me going from asleep in my bed to center of the COP in 4 minutes.)
Since Diesel is a no-running workout, it was convenient to not have enough time to put my shoes on (or use the facilities, or stretch, pray, read scripture, drink water and coffee, or any of the other things I prefer to do before working out). So I kicked it barefoot. Luckily, Golden Plates had an extra cinderblock & the pax were warmed up when I arrived, so we got right to it.
First Movement: Don’t Put Your Block Down or Rest it on Anything (really)
I told the pax that they were not allowed to put their cinderblocks down, or rest it on any part of their body, and then I pho-mocked Chastain (who was cradling his block near his thigh in a restful manner) to make sure everyone understood. Some of them laughed until they realized I wasn’t kidding. Holding the block the whole time is good for your grip strength, and puts continuous stress on the participant, which is good, too. We did fairly continuous exercises that probably included the following:
Everyone tried hard(ish) to stick with it. The sanction for putting the block down or resting it was 5 burpees. But some of the guys realized that I couldn’t actually make them do 5 burpees. So the sanction was ignored by some who took the loss to their dignity instead. Others who couldn’t do burpees instead did some other sanction that they made up.
Second Movement: On Your Backs (No Touching the Ground)
The pax then got on their backs (without the block touching the ground). At first, they were glad. Then we did exercises that included the following, doing enough reps mostly to make Chastain quit.
Third Movement: Bear Crawl with the Block
No text is necessary to describe this phase
Our finale consisted of exercises like the those we did in the first movement.
Nice to get out and be with guys I don’t see every week, including a few strangers (to me).
There was a lot of bluster about naming the FNG, with O-69er claiming (falsely) that I give “bad” names. He may have meant “bad” like O-69er was stuck in the 1980s, when we used to say someone or something was “bad” but we really meant its antonym, “good.” Clever, right? O-69er also says “thirsty” when he really means desperate, and “don’t trip,” not to mean, “don’t fall,” but rather to mean “don’t stress out.”
So with all that bluster, I asked for name suggestions for the FNG, to see how good their naming-game was. I got “Julia Childs,” “hors-d’oeuvres,” and “sous-chef,” because the guy likes to cook. Since the pax claimed to have such a good naming-game, I gave them more time to make suggestions. Good ones. I waited some more. I tried to use silence to spur (good) suggestions. But got nothing. So the FNG is now named “the Bodyguard.”
The Bodyguard is a stud by the way. You can see it in some FNGs who may be surprised by the first workout, but come strong, like a Whitney Houston song.
Peace out brothers. Hope your weekends are fantastic.