Got a text message from O-69 last night: “FYI Chastain, some people pre-run. I pre-hate you”

Well if that doesn’t set the tone for today’s workout, I don’t know what will. Seeing as I hadn’t even begun to think about what I’d put in my weinke, I took even MORE time to really soak in the hate and make sure all that hate was worth it.

It’s clear we’ve been using the coupons too much. Guys are getting out of their vehicles and immediately pulling out their own coupon or heading towards the gear box to grab one there. No no no no no…I’ve got all the gear you’ll need already set up. Gather ye round and hear of my DiCCS.


Taking a page from Popeye’s book we started with a very quick lap around the lot then circle up for SSHs, LBCs, SSHs, Merkins, SSHs and another quick mosey. Up, down, up, down, up is a good way to get people moving and the hate blood flowing.

Another lap around the lot, this time to provide instructions for the upcoming Thang.

The Thang

As aforementioned, all the gear is set up, station-like, but spread out in a biiiiiig circle that encompasses half the parking lot. 2 pax to a station, they are as follows:

  • Kettlebell swings
  • Coupon Shoulder Press
  • Dumbbell Curls (for the gurls)
  • Coupon Goblet Squats
  • Tom Brady Special (AKA Bobby Hurleys with a slightly underinflated slam ball)
  • Pull My Hose (drag the fire hose)
  • Tire Hammer Slam
  • Tire Flip
  • Dumbbell Tricep Extensions
  • And for the timer: Hair Burners!!! (or a boring coupon rifle carry if you must)

So we’ve got the standard station rotation whilst you wait on the hair burner team to go down and back, right at 100 yards if you were wondering. Yeah, it’s terrible but you’re better for it. Except Dough Boy. He used the opportunity to complain about hair burners, more than any other pax, while instead carrying a coupon in a rifle carry. Hi-larious.

Anyways…So you do your station until the hair burners are done then rotate to the next station. ONLY THIS TIME, you have to do a full lap around all the stations, back to your original station, and THEN move forward one station. So we had that going for us, which was nice.

I wasn’t sure how long all that was gonna take. Would we get two rotations? Three? Five? Nah, we got a whole ONE.

Side note: The fire hose was donated from Tupperware/Rubbermaid like two years ago. I used it for a Q at Asylum but I’m not sure it’s been brought out since. I saw it rolled up all by its lonesome in the forgotten corner of the gear storage area and I felt bad for it, neglected as it was. Don’t neglect your hose, guys. It’s probably 30 feet long and weighs at least 70 or 80 lbs. Throw that sucker on the ground and drag it while you attempt to run and you’ll see why it’s mostly left alone. Don’t worry though, I love playing with my hose, so it’ll see more use in the days to come. But I digress…

Less than 10 minutes remaining, I decided against making another go of the station work and instead instructed the pax to line up width-wise across the parking lot. Some pax need special guidance to get them in their spots but we eventually got there. Instructions: island suicides. Island one and back then 5 burpees. Island two and back then 10 Bonnie Blairs (2=1 suckas). Island three and back then 5 burpees. Extra instructions to include a merkin in that burpee, just in case some pax needed clarification.

We got started, then had a few cars come in the lot so I modified all the suicides to just the first island and back for safety purposes. Curb dips when you’re finished.

5 minutes remaining: Back to whatever your next station was supposed to be. Ready? Grab the gear and walk it back to the gear storage area. I don’t wanna pick up all this crap by myself. It took me forever to get it out there.

2 minutes remaining: Circle up for some SSHs and then Big Bois until time is up. We’re at 8. OK, 2 more so we’re at a nice even 10. OK, now you can be done.


I’d been planning to do some station work the next time I was on Q at Chiseled. We’re finally back to using gear so I wanted to make sure we used as much of it as possible. I think we accomplished that mission.


  • F3 Dads Camp – Still some openings available. It’s gonna be great. We have well over 300 dads and kids signed up and there’ll be pizza, movies, archery, BB guns, the blob, swimming, and plenty of other shenanigans. Don’t miss it! August 20-22
  • Cuthbertson Cross Country Course Clean-up – We used Cutherbertson Middle/High Schools for SIX different AOs on a weekly basis. Their Cross Country course needs some work to get it ready for meets in the next 3 to 4 weeks. Rubbermaid has volunteered to lead the clean-up initiative but he needs help. This is an EXCELLENT opportunity to give back to our community and show what F3 is about. Look for details in the News/Playhouse for upcoming work days where we can spread mulch, rake leaves, pick up debris, etc. and get the grounds in top shape

YHC took us out

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