Well That Was a Cluster

Well That Was a Cluster

18 pax came out for what was advertised to be a little competition. Q Fail and a bad weinke had other ideas. Ever heard the expression “A Monkey Humping a Football”? That’s what today seemed like to me. In fact, the inclusion of Monkey Humpers in the weinke might have been the only thing that could have saved the day.

Monkey – meet football. Football, here’s your monkey.

Due to self-sabotage (lost watch and keys), YHC rolled in at 5:28.30. I  attempted (and failed)  to assign each of the pax a number 1-5 based upon my impression of their speed, attempted (and failed) to group them in competitive teams, received observation from Hollywood it might have been prudent for YHC to have arrived a few minutes earlier (thanks, Captain Obvious), and braced for the chaos ahead. Only 45 minutes until this is over!

Warm-up: Ever get tired of running a lap and getting in a circle? YHC does. Today, we did it differently (and failed). Ran down the long path and stopped for a few warm up exercises as we went.

Jog to First light give disclaimer, allow Pax to complain about the lack of a circle- SSH x 20

Jog to Second light- Merkins x 20 (while waiting on rock gathering volunteers)

Third light- Hamstring stretches (clap when needed or when pax simply couldn’t contain themselves)

Gather at Transporter’s office for 1st failed attempt at a race

The Thang:

Group in your assigned teams. No Damascus, no problem…right? Wrong, Two teams had 5 members while the other two had 4 members. First landmine planted.

Round 1: 1s run to second street sign up the hill, do 25 squats and return. 2s go, 3s go, etc…While runners are running, everybody else is in wall-sits doing jabs. Audibled out of that after YHC realized it would wind up being 5 minutes of wall-sits and 5,000,000 jabs (fail). Al Gore until team finishes..nope, too long there too (fail again) everybody plank and don’t complain! Everybody finishes, off to the bus hill we went.

Round 2: 1s run up the bus hill to the awning by the steps. Waiting pax do merkins. (Fail #2- that’s a lot of merkins while waiting). Audible to Mary Katherines.

Round 3: Long mosey back to rock pile. 4 teams grab rocks. Indian run back to Transporter’s office. (Fail #3 – should have put rocks in hands of 5s and not 1s). Dasher took off like he’d stolen something. Everybody else scurried to catch up. Looked as if YHC had the only functioning team on the Indian Run. At Transporter’s office, we planked until everybody arrived. Flip-flopped and put rocks in 5s hands. 1s did 5 burpees to give headstart, 2s did 3 burpees, and 3s waited 3 seconds. No matter- Indian Run disaster. Rocks put away.

Round 4: It was at this point, teams were done away with and personal accountability was chosen in its stead. To the lunch tables:

50 dips

40 merkins

30 LBCs

20 Step-ups

10…I forgot. Oh yeah, I remember, 10 burpees

Pistol LBCs while waiting on 6.

Most completed the set. We moseyed to front of school for some ring runs.

Ring Runs: Starting at flag pole, run clockwise around circle until you meet the flag pole. 10 Bonnie Blairs and return counterclockwise to beginning for 10 more. Once finished, run back clockwise ALL the way around the parking lot for 10 Bonnie Blairs. When you complete those, run counterclockwise ALL the way around the parking lot in the opposite direction until you reach flag pole for…you guessed it, 10 Bonnie Blairs.

A few completed this. Once all were gathered back at the starting point, YHC decided to request a “AYG” back to the starting place. Apparently most tanks were depleted. Freddy Mercury’s and then hold legs at 30 degrees until time expired. The End.

Moleskin:

My apologies for the “Charlie Foxtrot” of a weinke this morning. It was definitely a disheveled mess. Like most bad ideas, it looked really good on paper! Hopefully the pax got a good workout in in spite of my best efforts. I believe one of the Crapple watches reported us covering 2.65 miles or so. In referencing the Q, Dasher said, “You had good intentions.” In Southern parlance, that’s akin to saying “Bless your heart.” At least we didn’t hand out participation trophies at the end!!!

No announcements. Thanks, Doughboy for taking us out.