Welcome to THE Swarm

Welcome to THE Swarm

When did it become Swarm and not THE Swarm? I feel like that’s a critical distinction that it’s not just any old Swarm and rather it’s the one everyone should be talking about. Afterwards, of course, because with the humidity at 1000% it felt like we were breathing through a straw so it wasn’t a day for mumblechatter. Unless, of course, you count the book club going on during the warmup portion of the exercise with a couple of chatterboxes (not THE Chatterbox, who posted at Impromptu) going on about who knows what.

So let’s get down to it. We did a warmup lap around the IPC 400 loop with some Side Straddle Hops, Imperial Walkers, stretches, and plankjacks. That’s when the aforementioned book club was going on. As the QIC for the premier hour long Friday morning Waxhaw bootcamp I took offense

Back to COT and down the Path to the Palace. Paula Abdul style. 10 Merkins and 10 Squats at the light poles on the way down.

Silence is golden.

People’s chair and 50 air presses on the shed then mosey up past the traffic circle and over to the triangular area near Geeb’s Jungle. Find yourself a partner on the way.

Collectively, you and your partner are now responsible for 150 Mike Tysons, 150 Flutters (2=1 duh), and 150 Step-Ups (as in, 150 times off the ground. I don’t know how you count 2=1 for those) and to ensure we get some good mileage in you get to alternate running around the circle and back.

Now, ditch your old partner and find a shiny new one

This next part was a terrible idea from the beginning but mama didn’t raise no quitter¹ so we did it anyways.

Partner 1 BEAR CRAWLS around the Jungle while Partner 2 runs the opposite direction around. When you meet up, swap places and continue until you complete the full bear crawl lap.

So I had planned to do a full bear crawl lap

 Instead, repeato until both partners have bear crawled and run twice. That was good enough for about half a lap around the jungle.

So now we’re at the high school parking lot and there’s still 20 freaking minutes left. Time for a little Aggressive Corners. Now I know it’s Progressive Corners, but I feel that Aggressive is much more fitting of a name.

  • Corner 1 – 5 burpees
  • Corner 2 – 10 Bomb Jacks
  • Corner 3 – 15 Six Inch Plank Jacks
  • Corner 4 – 20 Big Bois

So you basically add a new corner each time you run back. Only doing the exercises on the clockwise direction. Have you ever tried to breathe through one of those little plastic coffee stirrers? I don’t know why you would but that’s what I imagine it would feel like.

Getting low on time so we mosey to the alcove on the high school and do a Chastain Classic™

10 Donkey Kicks on the wall followed by a 10 second hold. Repeato with 9 DKs and a 9 second hold all the way to 5. Running low on time so recover.

Indian Run back to COT. It’s always a crapshoot with Indian Runs. Sometimes you get guys who refuse to sprint to the front. Other times you get get guys *cough* Ice9 *cough* who sprint the whole time. Fortunately, everyone was on their best behavior and we did probably the best Indian Run that’s ever been ran.

Upon arriving at COT, Transporter led Impromptu/Swarm in American Hammers. I think we hit close to 400 or something

Ricky Boobie took us out


¹ – This was determined to be a lie



  • F3 Dads – Tomorrow from 9:00 to 9:45am at Briarcrest Clubhouse. Bring your 2.0s boys AND girls. Bring a swimsuit to swim in the pool from 10:00 to 11:00am
  • Beer Run – Tomorrow at noon, in and around Plaza Midwood
  • Blood Drive – June 19th at 5 Stones from 9:00 to 1:30 – Go sign up
  • Crane Relay 2021 – August 13th – Team relay style. See GroupMe calendar for details

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