What’s with the funny names

14 Pax showed up in the gloom to dance between slaps from Laura all wondering what this VQ was going to be. After consulting with assistant Q Gilbert into the late hours of the evening, the winkie was appropriately covered in packing tape then placed with spectacles, KEYS, wallet and watch. (were you expecting another W word?) Sleep was very restless and I should have never looked at the Exicon page for that long in Q prep! Some visuals you just cannot get out of the head before falling asleep. The final, conscious, thought before waking ahead of alarm was — “just lead them through the first exercise and the mosey to the second. Gilbert can drags you through it from there.”

Upon the 6:30 am chime from the clock tower a chatty, and overly detailed disclaimer was given while a late arriving Fiji secured his vehicle (something other than on top of the tire would be a better hiding spot for those keys!) Then off we went.

“And the thing went a little something like this…”

Circled up across from Best Buy to roll out an extended warm up that started with 20-count SSH and IW. Q quickly because self aware of voice cracks on the cadence and slight dizziness from an over-aggressive attempt to observe the PAX. Surely nobody noticed, right? 15-count Mountain Climbers, Peter Parkers and “Parky Peepers…err…Peaky Perkers…err…Party Peekers…NO…PARKER PETERS!!! concluded the active portion of the warm up. A 15 count “plank with knee in your ear hole stretch” on each side finished the warm up and started the Mumblechatter.

Mosey to Charlotte Medical Corner for “Crabby Bear Squatch!”:

Big and small bidirectional arm circles, windmills and toy soldiers prepped the joints, and brief explanation of the exercise was given.

“Jog from here to there, then crab walk to first tree, bear crawl to the next, lung walk like a squatch to the next, repeat the pattern to end of parking lot, reverse direction but start with the bear crawl so you don’t repeat a section (confusion in PAX taking hold; but War Eagle understood and shared his knowledge of the order) then jog back to base when you get to end…Y’ALL JUST FOLLOW ME! PAX to call Mary while we waited on the six.

Debate on crab walk styles could be heard through the early mumblechatter but the preferred style is clearly forward. Q was pleased to hit first goal of maintaining lead but wasn’t sure if it was by using the ground as the great equalizer, or through mental confusion of the drill. Probably some of both but “sounds” of hard work in the breezy air led me to believe the winkie was holding.

Mosey to the Stairs for “Merkins Jacked Up and Over!”:

Q Goal 2 achieved by leading PAX on the mosey but I quickly started looking for Gilbert for backup. PAX arrived a starting point and received much more concise directions – 1 Merkin/4 Plank Jacks then a lap up and over the stairs. Round 2, 2 Merkins/8 Plank Jacks then a lap up and over the stairs. Continue adding by 1 and 4 until 5 Merkins/20 Plank Jacks achieved. Top it off with a final lap up and over the stairs. Mary while we waiting on the six.

Note to self — remind PAX next time to travel in the same direction to avoid possible awkward COVID contact at top of stairs.

Round 1 completed and I was gassed, but reports of Olaf dry heaving at the bottom of the stairs gave me encouragement for some reason. Round 2 concluded with Mighty Might doubled over at the stairs then away from the stairs to modify. “It’s not the sight of vomit, but the smell that gets to me,” he said. Guess Olaf has a site of vomit issue! PAX calling Mary provided me and introduction to the J-Loe (thx Midriff). In my oxygen depleted state, I introduced to PAX to the “Suzanne Sommers” when I unknowingly modified a Hello Dolly and let my heels drop to my hamstrings (good luck getting that visual out of your head).

Time check revealed that I had blasted through the second of three big sections too quickly and sought out Gilbert to call an audible (drag a heavy chain, throw out a boat anchor before heading to the fountains. Tagged my partner in.

Four corner Parking Lot Run :

Gilbert stepped up to lead the PAX through an assortment of air squats, jump squats, 5-burpees then 7-burpees (Kirby didn’t like where that was headed). But his spirits were quickly lifted by encouraging words from Mighty Might – “I’m not afraid to say this but Kirby has a very flat butt.” Laughter and more mumblechatter ensued as we got back on schedule.

Somewhere along the way War Eagle divulged that he has family genetics of a pregnant worm! You can follow up with him individually for more details.

Mosey to the Fountains for “Dippin Derkins!”:

“Whoever’s vomit that was sure ate a lot, it’s even down here” – anonymous “Probably had too big of a breakfast burrito before hot yoga” – Trickle.

Grabbed a section of wall around the circle and did 15-count single leg calf stretches before a double-cafe stretch for 15 that allowed my blood to re-oxygenate (that was not on the winkie). PAX then did 5 Derkins/20 Dips for round one, counting down by 1 and 4 until last round of 1 Derkin/4 Dips — yes OneStar, opposite of what we did at the stairs. Fair question!!! More PAX called Mary for heading for home.

Well I didn’t calculate that time right, we’re 10 minutes early:

Intended to have PAX call Mary until the end of time but rain started to set in and Q got rattled. Raid (from Area51) was reminded that the top to his car was open so another audible was called to run around Best Buy and Petsmart while I figured out what to do next. Probably should have headed toward Raid’s car like a good friend would have, but I panicked and went to the Best Buy side first. Raid rolled with it was heard saying “I don’t think the heavy stuff is coming down yet, let’s keep going.” Suggestions of “He should park it under the bank awning to get out of the rain” followed by “watch security come swarming at the site of a getaway car parked in the drive through” continued through the PAX

Rain increased rounding the corner of Petsmart so we pulled a 3rd (maybe 4th or 5th) audible and did curb step ups, step downs and downward lunges while Raid moved the car under the bank awning. Calf raises were optional and footwork coordination was minimal. A good sign the effort was strenuous enough for the group. Raid’s car secured me got home and finished off with more PAX called Mary — including a formal round of Suzanne Sommers in cadence. VQ complete – raining heavily now and Chickenteria threatened (first time ever according to Soft Pretzel)

Announcements, takeout and final mumblechatter:

Raid shared that Area51 is hosting a competing Blood Drive (but details were drown out by roaring mumblechatter). Mighty Might reminded us of the SOB Blood Drive (details on Slack channel). Kirby shared F3 board insight about stressing that F3 is open to all men and ways to consciously reinforce that message. It’s on each of us act upon that goal individually and naturally.

Thank you to Raid for coming to support Q and for the takeout. Oddly enough the rain stopped during his takeout.

What’s with the funny names