Mark of the Beast

Mark of the Beast

15 PAX braved the frigid, arctic temperatures at Impromptu, though some braved them more bravely than others. The morning found PAX with various amounts of clothing ranging from summer wear to “everything in my closet”. The goal of the morning was to keep us moving and make sure complaints focused on rep counts, bad form, and bad gas during Mary rather than the cold. Myself, being the dumbass I am, once again forgot my gloves. Dasher, I hope you aren’t reading this. I have no excuse. As penance I refused the kind offers of loaner gloves from several PAX.

The Warmup

With a 15 minute head start I figured Deadwood would’ve led the Swarm PAX a little further away from COT than he did, but I guess when he only posts once a month I shouldn’t have expected him to make it far. So right off the bat we audible towards the front of the school at a semi-quick mosey, circling up whenever I felt like it to do a few reps of Side Straddle Hops, Imperial Walkers, Moroccan Night Clubs, Mountain Climbers, and then some stretchy stretches. Two side notes: 1.) Maybe it’s just a Waxhaw thing but I find it weird if the first warmup exercises IS NOT Side Straddle Hops. So recently, in my Passport travels and posting with A51 and SOB, they DON’T start with those and everything just feels off. 2.) Zinfandel is reaching Damascus levels with the “oh yeah” excitement whenever the Q calls Moroccan Night Clubs. I put those in there for you buddy.

The Thang

So we’re back at COT and ready to head down the yellow brick road to Rudy’s Poopy Palace and freaking Deadwood is STILL THERE. Whatever. Screw those guys. There are more of us and we’ll just run them over. So we head down to the little driveway off to the left, being sure to puff out our chests and look intimidating to the Swarm PAX that are coming the opposite way. It must’ve worked because they disappeared after that.

To outsiders, F3 might look like some weird cult: a bunch of dudes forming circles in dark places and using strange lingo while trying to recruit more members. Well, if anyone were paying attention this morning, it would have added more fuel to that fire as the first exercise called was The Beast! That is, 6 exercises, performed 6 times, each at 6 different light poles. And for good measure, if you finish early be sure to pick up the 6. Those exercises were Merkins, Big Boys, Squats, Dry Docks, Heels to Heavens, and Bobby Hurleys. I know counting has always been an issue with this group, so I tried to make it easy. Alas, there were still questions about how many reps we were supposed to do. In jest? Maybe. But with this group, you never know.

Once done, we moseyed, partnered, and grabbed some rocks to start phase 2. No counting this time. Easy peasy. Just do AMRAP on curls, presses, and weighted squats while your partner runs for a while. Repeato until everyone is sick of it. Or until each partner has done all the exercises.

Put your rock back (hurray!) and get in teams of 3 (crap!) while we mosey to the covered awning. Shoot, only 5 minutes left? Audible! (I thought Deadwood was Qing Swarm, not Impromptu.) Grab some wall and do Donkey Kicks. 10 on my up, hold it for 10 seconds. 9 on my up, hold it for 9 seconds. 8, 7, 6…OK, we gotta get. 2 minutes. Time to hit the jets back to COT. YHC prefers picking up the 6 over any form of Mary. Not everyone does, so YHC generally provides an alternative and in this case it’s Burpees. So if you don’t want to pick up the 6 then do Burpees til everyone is in.


The Beast took a bit longer than expected so I had to cut out a good chunk of the weinke. No worries, we’ll just use it next time.

A few of the Respects made mention of their difficulties “getting it up” after the Big Boys. They make pills for that, I hear.


  • Ackbar talked about a family in need. A grandmother is raising several kids from ages 2 to 9 and their just treading water. There’s an Amazon wishlist for both necessities as well as gifts for the holidays. Link will be in GroupMe so look for that
  • Q School tomorrow at Calvary Church headed up by Orange Whip. Sign up here:
  • Commitment SIX Year anniversary tomorrow
  • Catfish on Q at Homecoming

Thanks Ackbar for taking us out


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2 months ago

I mean we did an opening 1 miler….What else can I do??? haha

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