Et tu HIPAA? YHC’s First Year of F3: A Story Told in Interpretive Dance and Burpees

Et tu HIPAA? YHC’s First Year of F3: A Story Told in Interpretive Dance and Burpees

15 true #HIMs betrayed the comfort of their own beds and instead crushed  a workout fit for Ceasar this morning on the Ides of March. This is their story.


Launch Conditions: Glorious 60 degrees. Dry. Aggressive.  

Pax: HIPAA (QIC), HIPAA (Gastonia), Brushback, Clover, Brilleaux, Lorax, Champagne, Dr. Belding, Mermaid, Escargot, Thunder Road, Tagalong, Marconi, Ickey Shuffle, Chelms

Mileage: A sneaky 2.60 miles

Difficulty: I’ll give this a full Teddy on the Herman-Willink Scale. Should have been a Hugh Glass, but YHC came up a few minutes short.

Disclaimer: Given and legally accurate.Important to disclaim/blame Ironsides for most of this workout. He was QIC at my first workout ever. Little did he know it would come back to haunt us all.


The Thang:

Mosey to Tartarus

11 SSH
16 IW

That’s it. That’s the whole warmup. Accurate and faithful to the original, down to the rep count….

7s up the long ramp – Squats at the bottom, hand-release merkins at the top.
Plank for the six.

7s up second long ramp – LBCs at bottom, burpees at top.
Plank for the six.

Starting at Top Level of Tartarus:

5 X Partner Merkins –> Ollie North aka Partner Carry. Flapjack.

Mosey Down Ramp

10 x Plank Jacks –> AYG sprints

Mosey Down Ramp

10 x Plank Jacks –> AYG sprints

Mosey Down Ramp

10 x Plank Jacks –> AYG sprints

Mosey Down Ramp

Head to middle and split in two groups.
Group 1: 10 x Derkins
Group 2: 10 x Pullups

Mosey to Launch

Merkin lineup thing. Shredder?


10 leg raises IC
15 flutters IC
16 LBCs IC
World’s Worst Merkins

EC Burpees


One year ago today I began this F3 thing in the school parking lot at Olde Providence Elementary. It was 34 degrees, wet, and I wore a full winter coat. For reference, here is what we did that day:

March 15, 2018 –

I tried to accurately recreate that workout at Centurion this morning (with some adaptations and creative license for the different AOs). For reference, the italics is stuff I added. Everything else was verbatim from last year.

There was a lot of pre-Post online mumblechatter on The Twitters and The Slackmachine. I had to stay up late last night studying for the “test” Chelms claimed to have waiting for me. I was hoping for a decoder ring or maybe a nice lamp instead.

I felt like I simply had to include some man-to-man contact (ONIONS!) in honor of March Madness with the partner carries.

The Pax today absolutely crushed it. To be honest, they chewed through my entire Weinke with a few minutes to spare. Did not think that was going to happen at all. #AmateurMove. I owe you guys a couple of minutes’ worth of #refund. Pro rated I think that is $0.00. Nice work, gentlemen (I use that term loosely).

Pax Notes/Tribute:

I was absolutely blown away by HIPAA (Gastonia) being there. Total surprise out of the blue and completely unexpected. Not a short commute, from the GasHouse either. And lest there be any confusion, he was HIPAA first (by a few days). I move for some disambiguation – HIPAA vs. HIPPA. I’ll take the misspelling. How do we get that approved.

Maybe (F3 Metro) – Forever indebted to you for dragging me out to my first workout. I think you only had to ask 3 or 10 times. #tclaps

Hopper – My nickname is your fault. I think of you every time I hear A Boy Named Sue. Thank you.

Hops and Pudding Pop – You were two of the first people who welcomed me to the fold. Wil never forget that. From the first few minutes, I was welcomed with open arms.

Thanks to Mermaid for the tough love and some choice tips at my first Q last year. Nuanced, veteran nuggets like “HIPAA. Did you even read the Q instructions on the website? Have you ever counted before? It goes like this….”

Clover informed me that this workout set a record for most calories burned according to his Tim Apple Watch. Thank you for making the trip down (several times a week!) from Dilworth/South End/Greater Myers Park Metropolitan Area to post with us down in Area 51!

Ickey was sneaky fast on the sprints. You kind of expect Lorax and Mermaid and Brileaux to be up there, but saw Ickey and imagined this was running through his mind.

Champagne was still sore from Wednesday, but somehow still made it out today.

Finally, I wanted to thank all of the men of F3 who have been part of my life for the past year. It’s amazing what a difference a year makes. From Day One, I couldn’t get enough and haven’t looked back. You’ve got a great thing going here and I can’t wait to see what the next year holds.


  • Community Foundation Run – April 13 – Gastonia – HIPAA (Gastonia Version) leading the charge here. Speed for Need will be running with 8 (?!) chairs. #HIMs all over the place.
4/13/199:00 amRaceCommunity Foundation RunGastonia, NCGastoniaF3 HIPAA
  • F3Metro has a program coming up at the Stratford Y – First Saturday morning of each month at 11am – Starting April 6. Workout for 45 mins for kids without dads. Chelms has details.
  • 3rd F – The Stand – Meets at Panera down the street from CCHS. Feel free to join. See Champagne for details or just show up.
  • FNG/Kotters Day Saturday March 30 at DaVinci.
  • Boone F3 Launch – March 23 – 7am – There was some interest in getting a couple/few clown cars together to make the trip up. Any volunteers to organize???

About the author

HIPAA author

13 Comments so far

CloverPosted on5:21 pm - Mar 15, 2019

Congrats on one year! Sadly, your thunder was stolen by the OG HIPAA and Mermaid commandeering the workout.

MermaidPosted on5:43 pm - Mar 15, 2019

Plenty of thunder there HIPAA, I only suggested 10 burpees OYO to close out the 45. Solid workout, got the heart rate up quick and kept it there.

Chelms aka TatertotPosted on5:47 pm - Mar 15, 2019

No need for approval to change spelling – just do it. I posit that if it sounds the same then it works.

HopsPosted on7:01 pm - Mar 15, 2019

Did Chelms weigh in on something regarding spelling? Talk about onions…
Sorry I missed HIPAA…on IR for a bit. Thankful for you brother. You’ve added much to the pax in many ways.
Mermaid only gives advice because he cares. Hell, he still gives me advice after seven years of this F3 thing. Count on that continuing.

Puddin PopPosted on11:27 pm - Mar 15, 2019

I remember it like it was yesterday dude. I also remember you posted for like the next 13 days straight, or something like that. Your workout scale is stellar, we just now need to perfect that entertainment scale we discussed at Hydra a couple weeks back. Thankful to Maybe for finally forcing the red pill down ur gullet.

HopperPosted on12:28 am - Mar 16, 2019

Hippa: Nothing is more flattering than being mentioned in a BB in the midst of a long IR stint. To boot, you mention my name in the same sentence as a Johnny Cash song. I’m verklempt as I type this note! I remember that chilly March day when we huddled to name you. You stated “I’m a healthcare attorney” and before I knew it, your nickname came shooting out of my mouth like flagellation after Puddin Pop eats tacos! I’m also proud of it because you have been a stud pax ever since…..constantly posting and constantly gaining speed! Happy anniversary bro! Glad you’re with us!!

HIPAAPosted on1:23 am - Mar 16, 2019

Outstanding takes! Thanks for reading and wish you were out there with us! When are you due back???

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