The Impossible Brat

The Impossible Brat

When Cased Meat asks you to Q, you say Yes. Unless, that is, you are the first 15 people he asked….which is how, no doubt to his chagrin (and probably yours) I come to find myself Swift Q tomorrow.

In an effort to make it as Brat-like as possible, I’ve co-opted his plan from a Kiawah taper week of yesteryear: https://f3southcharlotte.com/2016/12/05/preblast-swift-taper-week/ . Meat-like appearance, meat-like smell, but lacking actual meat.

It is my understanding that The People of WalMart (Women’s Tights Division) have their own version of Cased Meat at Fast Twitch. If you are looking for a reason to gouge your eyeballs from your head, that may be the place for you.

Are we going to do hair burners the entire time?

12 PAX made the decision to leave the fart sack on a chilly Saturday morning and post at Da Vinci for YHC’s first Da Vinci Q. Here’s what went down:

A very amateurish disclaimer was given (it never ceases to amaze me how I blank when it’s go time).

Mosey to Talbots for COP:

-IW x 15

-Cherry Pickers (with claps of course) x 15

-Downward Dog and calf stretches

-Merkins x 15

-Superman x 10

-Peter Parkers x 10

-Parker Peters x 10

Moseyed to Old Navy for a little last minute Christmas shopping (YHC unapologetically stole this one from McGee).

-10 jump squats in front of each store (there were 6 of them, I believe, and yes all the way to Target, Escobar – ouch!). Mosey back to the start and then repeat with 10 merkins at each store. YHC had planned per the weinke to do 1 more round of shopping but we spent all our money during rounds 1 and 2 – and YHC may or may not have been gassed already. On to the main event.

Mosey across the street to the fountain for a rousing round of 15 dips, 15 derkins, 15 incline merkins, and 15 step ups. Some grumbling ensued when YHC announced that we would repeato with 14 reps.

Mosey to the Elevation Church parking lot (which was not nearly as close to the fountain as Google Maps makes it out to be) where little Christmas presents were found wrapped under the tree for each PAX. Everyone got a kettle bell or free weight plate as a gift just for posting at today’s workout. Wasn’t that nice? After 96 minutes of YHC trying to explain what we were going to do (that didn’t go as planned), we broke out into 3 teams of 4 while 1 PAX from each team bent over and slid a weight plate half way across the parking lot (also known as a hair burner) while the other 3 PAX did presses with the kettle bells. Simple enough, right?? Watch out for Mighty Mite’s 65 lb KB! That one’s a doozy. After each PAX completed 2 hair burners, that completed Round 1 of the main event.

We moseyed back to the fountain for Round 2 (which seemed even farther than before) where we did sets of 13 (Fredo had been awaiting this round with great anticipation) and 12 reps of the aforementioned dips, derkins, incline merkins, and step ups combo. YHC may have blacked out at this point, I’m not sure. I just remember Swine Flu saying something about “Rambo”.

Mosey back to Elevation for last round of hair burners with some kettle bells curls on the side. Thoroughly smoked at this point, YHC went off weinke and called out for some Mary. I was too busy trying to catch my breath at this point to recall all the exercises that we did. But we all know they were great.

Mosey back to launch after a little spring cleaning in the Elevation lot and some lunges were sprinkled in for good measure.

Made it back to launch with 4 minutes to spare so we did some planks, box cutters, Rosa Litas and some more planks until time was called.

Great work out there today from all the PAX. Special thanks to Bucky for giving YHC the opportunity to lead today and to Mighty Mite for meeting YHC early and dropping off some of the largest kettle bells East of the Mississippi. It was an honor for me to lead you men today.

After the workout Mighty said he was relieved when he realized we weren’t doing hair burners the entire time. YHC concurred. Bucky and Ocho Cinco rolled up early and were bright eyed and bushy tailed while planting the shovel flag for all to see. How many shovel flags does Bucky have anyway? C3PO rolled in with his 2.0’s, Johnny 5 and T1000, who fell right in with the rest of the PAX. Great to have them! Fredo is getting back into the groove after recovering from 3 knee surgeries and he put up some solid numbers today. Escobar almost missed the workout as he was expecting YHC to give him a morning wake up call along with his morning newspaper. One Star put in a solid effort but had to take off a little early to start his Saturday. Soft Pretzel continues to run like the wind and makes YHC realize how slow of a runner I really am.

Thanks to Bucky for taking us out.

Announcements:

We are attempting to start another gear workout at McAlpine on Mondays starting in the new year. Be on the lookout for more details to come or you can ask Mighty Mite.

Pay attention to Slack messages and schedule updates during Christmas/New Years for convergences (like Bagpipe and Hawk’s Nest who are converging at Hawk’s Nest on Christmas Eve and then at Bagpipe on New Year’s Eve).

Chicken biscuits were consumed directly afterwards for a great 2nd F.

Light Day at RockZero

Pax List: Boerewors, Hoover, Geraldo, Dig Dug, Baywatch, Sprockets, IHop, Slingshot, One Eye, O’Tannenbaum, Levi, Bounce, Spackler, Duct Work, McGee, Lorax, Alf, Boondock, Steve Tanneyhill, Dingo

22 pax gathered for Championship Saturday at RockZero with the hopes of burning a few calories before a full day of boozing and football.  Impressive group. I tweeted out last night that I was headed to a Christmas party with an open bar and that I may not even make it this morning.  Maybe that’s why we had such a big crowd. Pretty sure all regretted coming.

No disclaimer.  This was an all veteran crew.

Mosey to big parking lot in the middle of all the other parking lots.

  • 20 SSH 
  • 20 IW
  • 20 LSS
  • 20 Mountain Climbers

Mosey to Davie Park with a stop at the Pineville-Matthews / Rea intersection for  20 Monkey Humpers. Once at Davie Park, partner up and grab one lifting rock. Each team did 50 curls, 50 overhead presses and 50 tricep extensions.  One partner lifts while the other runs around the parking lot island. Once set one was complete, rinse and repeat for a second set.

Mosey to Cary Ridge.  Stop for some Mary at the entrance to gather the 6. Mosey to intersection of Coburn and Cabell View Court.  Instructions were given for the Coburn half pipe (Thanks to Goonie for this one). Run until Coburn meets Browne’s Pond.  Do 10 Jump Squats then Run back to Coburn / Cabell View for 10 Heels to Heaven. Maybe we’ll do that a few times based on time.  Actually nope… once was enough.

Line up for one long 22-pax indian (Native American / Elizabeth Warren) run.  Bad idea. Break up into two 11-pax lines. Follow Bevington down to the intersection of Bevington and Rea.  Then the lines break up and slow mosey up Rea back to the launch.  

At this point we were 4.7 miles in so we jogged around the launch (including the North Face) until we hit the 5.0 mark. 

2 minutes of Mary.  Sweat Angels (thanks Sprockets) and Protractor (thanks Spackler).

Done.

Great group out there today.  22 pax at RZ was great. Not sure I’ve been to many with that many pax.  Lots of chatter over the course of the workout though I didn’t catch a ton of it so sound off below.  Definitely heard lots of complaints about the lack of exercises and excessive running. For the record, I’d planned some exercises at the Hot Box but time ran out.  

Glad to burn a few calories this morning.  Heading to the ACC Championship game shortly to see Clemson’s 5th straight ACC Championship.  

It’s also the 78th Anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor today.  2,335 service men / women were killed along with 68 civilians. It’s a great day to remember sacrifices made by so many on our behalf.   My grandmother is a Pearl Harbor survivor. She was a 7 year old girl living in Honolulu and hid in a drain under a driveway for the entire attack.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.  I’ve been to Rock Zero plenty over the years but I believe this was my first Q.

Go Tigers!

Rock Training Day

Disclaimer was given. Explanation was given that this would start like a running workout with a quick jog, dynamic stretching, and then leg strengthening exercises.

Warmup:

5 min run down to the “Horse shoe”, back to the Pre School center and finally back to launch point.

Lined up for some dynamic stretching:

  • 20 steps on toes, in then out, jog it out to the other end
  • 20 steps on heel, in then out, jog it out to the other end
  • 20 “Bounding” exercises where you touch under a knee, jog it out to the other end
  • 20 B Skips, jog it out to the other end
  • 20 High Knees, jog it out to the other end
  • 20 Butt Kickers, jog it out to the other end

Rock Time:

We headed to a rock pile, instructions were given that we would be carrying the rock with us.

Round 1…

With Rock Overhead, walk to the bottom of the triangle

15 LBCs with the rock on our chest

Sumo Walk down to other edge of the triangle

15 Calf Raises with Rock on Bottom half of Steps

15 Calf Raises with Rock on top half of Steps

Put rock down (but not away) and take a lap around the track.

After the lap, we introduced some Lunge Walks while heading back up to our rocks.

Round 2…

Lunge Walk with Rock to bottom of triangle

15 Heels to Heaven with Rock

Backward Lunge Walk with Rock to other edge of triangle

Plank Sequence:

  • Regular Plank for 30 secs count
  • Right Hand up
  • Right Leg Up
  • Regular Plank for 30 secs Count
  • Left Hand up
  • Left Leg up
  • Recover!

15 Calf Raises with Rock on Bottom half of Steps

15 Calf Raises with Rock on top half of Steps

15 glute bridges


Partner Up…

Partner 1 runs to the bleachers for: 10 Steps each leg and 15 dips

Partner 2 15 Curls, 15 over head presses, 15 Behind the head

Back to the triangle and Rocks…

Lunge Walk up to the corner

15 LBCs with Rock on Chest

Walk with Rock over head up to the Rock Pile

Quick recovery jog through the parking lot as I wanted to get to 2 miles.

Moleskin

Great work by all. I had a few different ideas for this workout. Initially, was thinking the 12 days of Christmas. Then I thought about doing a “Nutcracker and the 4 Realms” workout to advertise for my STARring role in the Nutcracker this weekend with the Charlotte Youth Ballet. Okay, not the star, but thankful to be on stage with my daughtered doing something that she loves. Finally, went with a Running workout to start and some leg strengthening.

 I’ve been honored to be serving as the Co-Site Q with Thunder Road for the past year. I’m planning for about a month more and see proper transition for new leadership.

Announcements

Holiday Party 2020 – Usually the weekend before Thanksgiving!

Oops! Back, back, backblast

Warm-up: Ran to courtyard with 1/2 circle of turf. Did 15 each of side straddle hop, imperial walker, low slow squat, and mountain climber. Ended the warm-up with a lunge walk around the turf.

1st Series:  Ran to north parking lot. There ran with four stops, 1st stop 20 merkins, 2nd 20 LBCs, 3rd 20 squats, 4th 20 heels to heaven. Repeated three times with reps of 15, then 10, and finished with 5 each, followed by plank until all finished. Next ran to hot box.

2nd Series:  At the hot box we partnered with the 1st partner doing step ups and 2nd partner running around the light pole in the center of the parking lot and returning to the hot box to switch with partner.  Repeated two more times with dips and then incline or decline merkins. 

3rd Series:  Ran to the rock pile past the cemetery.  There each got a lifting rock and carried them to the nearest parking lot.  We started with 15 curls.  Then we ran to three islands in the parking lot circling back to our rocks.  At each island we stopped and did ascending burpees starting with 1 at the first and ending with 5 on the circle back of that island.  Back at the rocks we did 15 presses and then repeated the burpee trail.  Returning again to the rocks we did 15 triceps and repeated for a final time the burpee trail.  We were careful to place the rocks in the grass and not on the parking lot to prevent the rocks from being damaged by passing cars. 

4th Series:  From the rock pile we ran back to the southern tip of the eastern parking lot where we finished with a set of Mary’s followed by a run uphill to the end of the parking lot and back, and repeating several times until time expired. 

Closing: Jet Fuel said the prayer for the group and we all wished each other a Happy Thanksgiving.

Sleepless in Hydra

Warm up:  Ran to East parking lot where we warmed up with 15 each of side straddle hops, imperial walkers, low slow squats, and mountain climbers. 

1st Series:  Ran to East benches under trees.  There we split into two groups to exercise at three stations.  At the 1st station on the East benches each group did 20 step ups and 15 dips.  At the 2nd station on the West benches each group did 15 inclines or declines and 15 squats.  The 3rd station at the playground behind the school, each group did 10 pull ups and 20 LBC’s.  The first group started at the East benches and the 2nd group started at the West benches.  We did this circuit three times, running between each station.

2nd Series:  Starting from the East benches we ran across Rhea Road to Windyrush Road and then circled up Edenbridge Lane to the Methodist Church stopping at the rock pile.  There we partnered with a lifting rock.  The 1st partner did 15 each of curls, presses, and triceps, while 2nd partner ran to the end of the parking lot and did 5 burpees before returning.  This was repeated twice. 

3rd Series:  We ran back to the East parking lot where we did a set of Mary’s and then ran to the end of that parking lot and back.  We repeated this four times starting with 15 dolly’s, then 15 flutters, then 15 Rosalita’s, and finally 15 heals to heaven.  After completing, ran back to the West lot to circle up and close out.

Close out and announcements:  Sprockets’ birthday, 42, wow, but no respect for another 8 years.  Still, he was serenaded with a happy birthday song by a group of 14 men with little to no singing skills, at least that’s my opinion. Sprockets closed us out with a prayer. 

Sleepless in Hydra is from me going to the Ohio State vs UNC basketball game Wednesday night in Chapel Hill with my son who’s a UNC sophomore and getting home at 2:30am on Thursday.  I’m a native of Ohio, so a Buckeye fan and a paying UNC fan.  It was great to see Sprockets wearing an Ohio State shirt.  Go Bucks!     

We only bearcrawled half…

6 in attendance on a fine December evening, a few regulars and a couple candidates for the lauded Octuple.

  • Warm-up
    • lap around the parking lot, 15 ssh, 15 merkins, 15 mountain climbers, 10 potato picker
  • 10 burpees at the start of the sidewalk, 5 burpees at each lamppost, and bearcrawl between every other lamppost
  • Grab a lifting rock, one lap between each round
    • Round 1 – 15 curls, 15 presses, 20 half curls (10 up, 10 down)
    • Round 2 – 15 presses, 15 triceps, 15 goblin squats
    • Round 3 – 15 curls, 15 presses, 10 curl to press
  • Moseyed to high school steps – 3 rounds
    • 20 speed skaters at the bottom
    • lungewalk from top of the stairs to wall
    • 15 donkey kicks
  • Mosey to front of middle school – 2 rounds
    • 20 dips and a half-lap
  • Mosey back to start and finished with a bit of Jack Webb

Everyone did great work, and Big 10 even appeared to have considered doing a side straddle hop!

Announcements:

  • Annual Effies – 12/7
  • Downtown Waxhaw Clean-up – 12/14
  • Zin’s Beer exchange – 12/14

Magnificent 7

7 Men ran through the dark sharing stories and second F

Partial Trail , Part road, and the worst hill on a paved trail!

Is someone buried here?

6 pax mustered on a milder than expected Friday. Floorslapper was LIFO, of course. Not long into the downpainment, Spackler took of his Titleist golf mittens, and somebody else removed some clothing…but thankfully not too much.

YHC had not been to this AO in a long time, and apparently I parked too close to the road as Pop Tart asked “Why did you park all the way over here?” For the record, it was about 37 feet from his vehicle.

Neither site Q in attendance (Orange Whip excused), but Faultline did confirm my Q status yesterday.

Below is some of what we did, but more importantly, what was said. With Puddin’, Pop Tart and Spackler – there was much banter. I think Pop Tart is angling to be part of Trifusenik. He plays the part well, for sure. Quadfusenik just doesn’t sound as good. But since Gloss never posts on Friday (except in some trainer dude’s garage #notF3 and #yikes), I think Pop Tart could be officially part of Trifusenik on Friday’s.

Before we launched, Puddin’ and YHC discussed past workouts with very small numbers; and he remembered a time at DV where Smokey determined ahead of time they would only workout for 30 minutes and then head to Panera. Strong. Not really. Double-helping of DBP, please.

Smallest workout I’ve been a part had 3 pax. Pretty sure that was at the now extinct SOFAWIB…the name itself might have been its death knell. Don’t bring a recycled Metro name down here!

Anyway, the only thing on the Weinke that wasn’t completely or partially ad-libbed was the triple nickel with Mike Tyson’s and burpees on the hill. Pop Tart complained about the burpees from the get go, but did at least some of them. Spackler and Puddin’, of course, did none of them. Spackler, to his credit, did some modified deconstructed burpees. Puddin’ did nothing, whatsoever.

Rhapsody, as anyone knows who’s worked out with him and saw the above pax list, was far and away the most fit pax. He was limited, however, as he sliced off about 1/3 of his left thumb while cutting linoleum at home. He posted, nonetheless. That’s what I call choking down a 5 lb. red pill. T-claps, brother. He was also kind enough to run with YHC during the laps around the church. Another cool story about Rhapsody from about 12 years ago: He and M. Rhapsody watched our boys when Hops and M. Hops were away for a romantic weekend. While there – he replaced our dishwasher with one he said was considered damaged (indiscernible dent in lower corner) at one of the new homes he was building. Thanks again, and hope the thumb grows back.

Speaking of the laps around the church, we broke into 2 groups and alternated running a lap around the church while the other group did called exercises. During the first lap, Floorslapper said, “You guys aren’t going to dust me, are you? He then said, “Oh..it’s not too far around this building.” Truth is – he put in some strong work on the laps.

Ok, no sense giving any more details of the workout itself, except that the backblast title is derived from the fact that when we got to the rock pile which is actually an ebenezer of sorts for the church – somebody asked: “Is someone buried here? Maybe we shouldn’t use these rocks.” Pretty sure the answer is “no”, but not entirely sure.

Some other sundry observations from this morning’s edition of Kevlar:

  • Disappointed no sighting of McRib, Horsehead or Bulldog…among others. Bulldog is excused as he has Foot & Mouth or Shingles or Mad Cow or something. Pray for our favorite Englishman to heal quickly.
  • Pray for Pop Tart, too, who’s probably just coming out of anesthesia from his ankle surgery as I type this. He promised to be back in 4 weeks.
  • There was not consensus, but Puddin’ was sure “Mask” was Cameron Diaz’ first film. And someone suggested she was married to Justin Timberlake or lived with him or some such. Important conversations going on at Kevlar.
  • I had not been to Kevlar (or Skunk for that matter) in many months. Nothing nearly as strange as the time some dude brought his girlfriend or wife, and she sat in the car the whole time. Pretty sure I remember M. Orange Whip dropping him off one morning, and I was worried she might sit in the car during the workout as well. Didn’t happen, thankfully, lest he would never have risen to the lofty status of site Q.
  • We definitely did not go on the tiny gravel/cinder, dimly-lit, ankle-wrecking track. You’re welcome.
  • 12 days of Christmas workout still a thing at Kevlar? Or was that Skunk?

Keep EH’ing your neighbors, friends, co-workers, etc. And don’t forget the pax who have ‘disappeared’. They need F3 as much as they did when they used to post.

Good to be back in the eastern Area51 gloom….I think the air is thicker there…or was that just Puddin’s exhaust?

Crawling down 485

14 Brave souls ventured out this morning for half-mile repeats as we crawled across 485.  Fitting considering how many of us spend so much time there in the afternoon, it only made sense to crawl across it this morning. 

As we started our short mosey past AAA for a quick warm-up, I was already hearing grumblings about the lack of proper disclaimer and starting prior to 5:15.  I guess my ultra-fancy Casio might keep time a little quicker than you fellas with the Garmin satellite’s on your wrist.  Nonetheless, always good to hear some initial complaints coming from Fire Hazard’s direction.  So once circling up, appropriate disclaimers for our seasoned out-of-town guests were made, and got to our brief warm-up:

15 mountain climbers

15 Imperial walkers

15 SSH

Knowing the direction the morning was going, I thought it to be prudent for an extended warm-up, so we (well I – this was not a democratic decision) decided on an easy suicide across the parking lot to ensure folks were actually awake before beginning that Thang.

Warm-up suicide

-high knees and jog back

-butt kicks and jog back

-side shuffle down and back

-sprint down and back

That Thang

Light mosey to the end of the parking lot past the office buildings and across from Potbelly’s and Cabo’s.  Started half-mile repeats down to the stoplight at Endhaven Lane.  To mix it up, upon reaching the bridge crossing 485, we lunge-walked across the outer loop and bear-crawled across the inner loop.  I always think bear-crawls are an excellent idea when planning a workout but was cussing myself before completing the first set.  Need to remember I hate bear-crawls – maybe not as much as burpees, but certainly neck and neck.    Back on your feet to get it down to the stoplight.  Finish off with 10 merkins.

30 second breather and same thing back to start.  Repeat loop 4 times.

Mosey back to launch for a couple sets up Mary before hitting our hour mark.

Solid work by all 14 guys there this morning.  Fire Hazard and Mario pulled out front and finished in time for some additional Mary before heading back to launch.  I thought Cam Newton had shown up for the workout, but after closer inspection, it turned out just to be Frehleys Comet sporting a leopard print headband a signature bar towel hanging at the waist.  I left feeling spent, so hope the rest of the Pax got as good of a sweat in today.  Certainly helped me justify my breakfast burrito on the way to work this morning.  PSA – if you’ve never been to the Shell station at the corner of Ballantyne Commons and Providence Rd, you’re doing yourself a dis-service.  Stop by one morning, say hello to the lovely ladies in the back and enjoy.  My go-to is the rice, beans, avocado and her homemade hot sauce – solid way to start your day when you’re feeling your inner Tarahumara.  Thanks to Saigon Sam and Yogi for joining us on their work travels.