Author Archive Tiger-Rag

Final KB Clinic – Putting It All Together

In the first two sessions, you’ve learned the fundamental technical components of the swing, clean, press, snatch and get up.

For the 3rd and final session, Byron will show you how to put it all together in a balanced workout, with a discussion and of the differences between conditioning, heavy, and technical workouts.

We’ll put it into practice with a short but intense workout and wrap up with a time for Q&A.  Bring all of your bells tomorrow, even the light ones. There may be get ups. Just sayin’.

0600 – 0650 at The Rock (Calvary).

Hang Time

Eighteen rocket-legged pax, two junior footballs and a butterball turkey stormed the field for another installment of #FunFriday.  What it lacked in Fun it made up for in Friday.

PREGAME

Toss around TR 2.3’s under-inflated junior football in the well-lit parking lot where we find out that Uncle Leo is amphibious–he can throw equally poorly with the left of right.  Once Bananas arrived with the other Jr. football and a frictionless leather sphere with laces, we discussed how the disclaimer applies to throwing, and presumably catching, footballs at twilight.

Mosey to the far side of the track for a muted COP for SSH, IW, low slow squats, where Rivet either sets off a bag of Snap ‘n’ Pops in his pocket, eats a can of Pringles, or with virtually no cartilage in his lower extremities, grinds bone on bone.

GAME TIME

Head to goal line for alternating sprints to the 20, 40, 40, 20, Goal.  Then run it back in reverse.  For those at DV on Wednesday, you’re just going to have to deal with that.

Agility Work:

  • Line up on 5 yard line facing home side.  Sprint to goal, out to 10 yd line, back to goal. Repeat facing away side.
  • Repeat set, moving to 15, 20 and 25.

Attempt QB and Receiver with some 10 yard outs, 20 yard outs and fly patterns but could never find the groove so that guys waiting weren’t standing around.  That, plus the #HairyEyeball from the crew setting up for what appeared to be a graduation ceremony had us move to the horseshoe for Mary.  Flutters, Dolly, then some supine work for the lower back that went entirely unappreciated.

Then back on the field to wrap up with a punting contest. Every pax punts a ball from the goal line and then everyone sprints out to get it and runs back.  Repeato until all have punted.  Longest punt wins.  If someone catches your punt, the punter does 20 burpees.  Reggie “Night Court” Roby takes the crown with a 52 yarder, narrowly outdistancing three Pax at 50 to 51 yards (TR, Good Hands, and…who?…someone who launched a #WormBurner about a foot off the ground, and skidded it a good 40 yards. Was that Stone Cold?).

In any event, good times to watch the various attempts and we’re glad to report that there were no injuries other than bruised egos.

POSTGAME MOLESKIN

You’d think it would be pretty simple to come up with 18 punters off the top of your head, but I had to go googling after about 10.  It was surprising (to me, at least) to see Spurrier and Danny White on the list (both backup QBs who punted to get on the field) as well as Tom Landry, who punted for the Giants back in the 1950s.

Another interesting fact: Dan Pastorini was the starting QB and punter for the Oilers in the 70s and ranks ahead of former Panther Ken Walter in both career passing yards (18,515 to 0) and career punting average (39.7 to 39.6).

ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • Memorial Day Workout Schedules will vary by site.  Check your twitter and preblasts for info.  If in doubt, contact the Site Q.

Kettlebell Clinic on Hiatus May 24

Change in original schedule regarding Byron’s KB Clinic:

  • At the request of the many pax DR over the long weekend, we will NOT meet this Saturday, May 24.
  • The KB Clinic will meet again on Saturday, May 31, at 0600 at The Rock (Calvary parking lot).

Read the Series Pre-Blast HERE

Read the Session 1 Back Blast HERE

Ballantyne Hill

Eight for KB appetizers, 29 for the main course. After the usual disclaimer from the Q and the usual blank stares from the pax we set off to the parking lot by Palestine Hill.

  • Slow Merkins x 10 (3 down, 1 up)
  • Stop-motion merkins (10 or so)
  • Slow squats x 10 (3 down, 1 up)
  • Stop-motion squat jumps (10 or so)

Your basic suicide @ 4 x 40-ish (increasing distances).  An attempted belly start with no arms didn’t work but not for lack of trying.  Then your basic reverso-suicide with decreasing distances also @ 4 x 40 yds.  Stop motion lunge walk x 20 yards to start.

Then off to search for hidden treasure in the grass.  (8) 3-man teams on the plates and the rest do Up and Overs on Valentine Hill.

  • Pax 1: Hairburners 2 x 40 yds
  • Pax 2: Run 2 x 40 yards
  • Pax 3: Warrior 3.  It’s yoga.  Deal with it.

PROMOTED CONTENT: A shameless plug for a new workout starting in June called Flex.  Flex is a recovery and mobility workout that will incorporate rehab/prehab movements such as stretching, foam rolling, balance work, stability balls, recovery bands and the like. The goal is to address current sore spots and to work to prevent future ones. Time and location TBD.  Notice it’s “mobility”;  not yoga.

Back to programming….all team members do three Hairburners and three Up and Overs on Alkaline Hill, a shakeout mosey, then Mary.

  • One-legged dolly
  • Other-legged dolly
  • Stop motion dolly
  • One-legged flutter
  • Other-legged flutter
  • Stop motion flutter
  • 5 burpees for the road

Slow mosey back to the house, so easy a Caveman could do it.  Redirect activities from #LittleHercules’ and short-armed Feats of Strength to some emotionally satisfying Down Dog.

COT

Ye Olde Moleskine

  • I usually spend my Fridays with the Protestant half of the Reformation (Luther Rulz!) at Kevlar but Centurion was one of only two workouts I hadn’t yet visited.  Bagpipe–keep an eye out for plates in the bushes…
  • Hairburners still stink.
  • Asinine Hill lives up to its name.  (Reminds me of Foxworthy’s Redneck Words: I give her asinine but her face a 1).
  • Time is up.  Fill in the rest below.

Centurion Pre-Blast

I’ve been waiting 14 months for Runstopper to get the keys to the stadium before I posted, but I am beginning to think hope may not be warranted at this point.  Plus, the Chelms, Spasmo-Burpee is stuff of backblast legend and I want to witness this spectacle with my own eyes.  Assuming, that is, I can find where you guys park. (Seriously, someone tell me where to meet).

With Purple Haze as my seeing-eye dog, we’ll explore many of my favorite Centurion landmarks, such as [the ones I scout out from the TRuckster at 0430] and [the ones from Google Maps].  

We go off like scalded dogs at 0530 sharp. Warm ups will not be provided.

 

Recycled

Twenty eight menfolk, including 1 FNG, threw common sense and claims of damages to the curb. Shuffle to the lower lot…about 50 yards out, I notice Bugeater’s “My First Kettlebell” (by Mattel) and call out a switch for the remainder of the mosey.

Reunite with your KB (and it feels so good), flap about to get loose, run around the church, then get at it.

ROUND 1

  • 4 snatch R / 4 snatch L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 snatch R / 8 snatch L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 12 snatch L / 12 snatch L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Run around the church. Lock it out while you wait.
  • Reps were 5/10/15 for KBs 35# and less.

ROUND 2

  • 4 high pull R / 4 high pull L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 high pull R / 8 high pull L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 12 high pull L / 12 high pull L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 15/10/5 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Two handed swings while you wait.

ROUND 3

  • 4 Press R / 4 Press L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 Press R / 8 Press L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 12 Press L / 12 Press L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 5/10/15 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Lock it out while you wait.

ROUND 4

  • 4 clean R / 4 clean L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 clean R / 8 clean L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 12 clean L / 12 clean L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 5/10/15 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Rack it while you wait.

ROUND 5

  • 4 1L RDL R / 4 1L RDL L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 1L RDL R  / 8 1L RDL L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 12 1L RDL L / 12 1L RDL L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 15/10/5 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Plank while you wait.

ROUND 6 – Pax Choice

  • 10 Dolly with KB Press, run to first median and back
  • 12 Russian Twists, run to second median and back
  • 10-15 Louganis, run to the top of the hill and back

ROUND 7

  • 20 two-handed swings, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 30 two-handed swings, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 40 (50 for bonus, to round round out to 100) two-handed swings, take your bell to the top of the hill (x100 yard)

Shuffle back to COT. Burpees for a bit until Q returns.

COT

MOLESKIN

  • Recycled the Weinke (and most of the backblast) from my last Q at Skunk.  The short-limbed led the way again–notably Alf and Bulldog.  And the fleet of foot Sussudio.
  • This is one of those workouts that has a little something for everyone.  Or put another way, everyone is sure to be dissatisfied with something.  Too much running for the meatheads,  and maybe too much KB for the runners.
  • The Pax were quick to name Hacksaw’s FNG, J Hansen, now known as MMMBop.  Official credit/blame goes to someone in the direction of Brown or Bananas.  MMMBop, It may not look like it now, but that’s one strong moniker.  To celebrate your first workout, let’s all enjoy the song together:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE
  • Good to see hibernation is over for Bug and Pretty Boy Quarterback.  Flannel jammies are packed away until September.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Numbers is Fun

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never me.”

It’s a lie, of course–words do hurt.  Just ask any clarinet-playing, pimply-faced teen boy in husky size corduroys.  But numbers?  Numbers are your friends:  simple, honest, dependable, interesting.

Take for instance the number 17, which happened to be the number of pax on hand today:

  • 17 is the 7th prime number and the sum of the first 4 primes.  Who knew?
  • 17 is the least random number
  • 17 is the atomic number of Chlorine
  • 17 is an album by Ricky Martin
  • 17 or (Seventeen): songs by Jethro Tull, Kings of Leon, Rick James, Smashing Pumpkins, Winger, Jimmy Eat World,  and was the original title of the Beatles’ song, “I Saw Her Standing There.”
  • 17 is a teen magazine
  • The number 17 has never been retired in the NFL.
  • 17 is the number to call the police in France.
  • Bailey’s Irish Cream is 17% alcohol by volume.
  • 17 is the number of merkins Bananas can perform before lapsing into a head-bobbing spasm

If 17 is that captivating, you won’t be able to contain yourself in the presence of the rock star of numbers.  Like Madonna, Celine and Raffi, it goes by one name:  pi.  I won’t bore you (more than I have already) with all the details.  If your degree has an S in it, this is good stuff:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ-HwrOpIps 

If you are still with me, here’s how the work out went:

  • Slow Mosey around church x 0.6 miles.  Stop at the 5 Wrong Way signs for HR Merkins, SSH, Squats, Flutters.
  • Quick mosey around church x 0.6 miles.  Repeat 3 times with called exercises at Wrong Way signs.
  • Round 1:  22 merkins or 7 burpees (add 7 burpees for the lead group).  Plank and mosey to start.
  • Round 2:  22 squats or 7 burpees. Hold chair pose and mosey to start.
  • Round 3:  22 LBC and 7 heels to heaven.  Hold 6″ and jailbreak home.

Bonus points to Good Hands for correctly identifying the 22/7 theme (pi approximation).

COT

MOLESKIN

  • I’ve burned up all my “free” work time watching pi videos.  Starfish the moleskin and comment below.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Hill Grinders

Eight guys for a simple, but not easy, work out.  Quick lap around fields.  SSH, I-Walkers and then on to the base of the hill and split into two groups.

HILL WORK

  • Group 1: Run to the top of the hill and back x 3
  • Group 2: Perform called exercise x 3
  • Repeato x 55 minutes

Called exercises:

  • Merkins
  • Flutter Kicks
  • Plank, then 5 merkins when last runner is back.
  • Hold 6″, then 5 heels to heaven when last runner is back
  • Reverse lunges (combined with backpedaling the hill)
  • Side lunges combined with karaoke, then audibled to backwards run after widespread groinal discomfort.
  • Warrior 3.  Yes, yoga.  Not only did it hurt but it proved to be a strange sight for passing motorists.  We owned it like bosses, though.
  • Seem like we did more but I can’t remember.

COT

MOLESKIN

This was your basic meat and potatoes workout:  run the hill at a sporty clip, then get after it while the other group runs. High heart rate and lots of motion.  My favorite kind of workout.  All told we racked up nearly 4 miles

Lots of superlatives out there this morning.  Spackler was flying, consistently leading his group on the runs, with Haze not far behind.  In the second group Haze’s 9 year old 2.0 was putting in the work.  Tough little hombre, even with the questionable hat choice.

Good work men.  Good choice, Bug.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

We are 5 guys short of filling up the 4th Area 51 BRR squad.  See Splinter to join his 12 man team.  It’s the most fun you’ll have with F3 this year.  It’s not about the running, it’s about the 2nd F (for 30+ in the same van).

 

Less is More

With a minute before launch twenty eight men were told partner up as they saw fit.  Then mosey to the ring road for the start of Farmer Chases.

  • For teams with 70 lbs or less of KBs: 15 merkins, then chase.
  • For teams with greater than 70 lbs: 10 merkins, then chase.

The goal on the chases, and really for the entire workout, was to give the lighter swinging pax a little more work so that group could stay closer together.  Once around the loop, we lined up for Ladders and Sprints.  They went something like this: ROUND 1

  • 12 snatch R / 12 snatch L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 snatch R / 8 snatch L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 4 snatch L / 4 snatch L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Two handed swings while you wait.

ROUND 2

  • 12 Press R / 12 Press L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 Press R / 8 Press L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 4 Press L / 4 Press L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 15/10/5 for KBs 35# and less

ROUND 3

  • 12 high pull R / 12 high pull L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 high pull R / 8 high pull L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 4 high pull L / 4 high pull L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 15/10/5 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Two handed swings while you wait.

ROUND 4

  • 12 clean R / 12 clean L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 clean R / 8 clean L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 4 clean L / 4 clean L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 15/10/5 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Two handed swings while you wait.

ROUND 5

  • 12 lunge R / 12 lunge L, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 8 lunge R / 8 lunge L, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 4 lunge L / 4 lunge L, Run to road at top of hill and back (2 x 100 yards)
  • Reps were 15/10/5 for KBs 35# and less.
  • Plank while you wait.

ROUND 6

  • 50 two-handed swings, Run to first median and back (2 x 25 yards)
  • 25 two-handed swings, Run to second median and back (2 x 50 yards)
  • 25 two-handed swings, take your bell to the top of the hill (x100 yard)

Lock it out to the speed bump then jog it home for COT.  Admire buff forearms (Stone Cold only). MOLESKIN Travel day.  No time to recount the japery and high-jinks of the morning.  Also, there was none–it was eerily silent.  Sound off if you’ve got something to say. ANNOUNCEMENTS Keep M-Funky Bunch in your prayers as she goes in Friday for a follow up with the doctor.

Body Coddlers

Some guys get out of bed and think, “You know, I’d like to start the day with 100 burpees.”  Twenty-nine body-coddlers who didn’t think that (including 1 FNG) decided to meet at The Rock.

Mosey a bit to a commodious section of asphalt for Invigoration.   Invigoration included rarely-encountered exercises such as SSH, IW, slow merkins 3 count down / 1 up (Ha!  I usually do squats there), slow merkins (1 count down, 3 count up), and slow squats (3 count down / 1 up).

Find a partner suitable for dragging.  The rookie mistake here is to go for a pax of similar weight.  What you are really after is to match up the long-armed Pax with another Pax of ample circumference. Once partnered, begin the Body Drag Beast:

  • Drag your partner to the cone, both do the called exercise.
  • Get dragged to the next cone, both do the called exercise
  • Flap-jack your merry way out and back.

The exercises were merkins, squat jumps, and heels to heaven.  It may have been a little wet for some.

Mosey to the firm, dry pavement for more partner cardio (they run) and miscellany (we exercise until they get back).  Exercises were dollies, flutters, LBCs with legs in the upright and locked position (90 degrees), and a 6″ plank as long as you could.

Mosey again, lunge walk to the cones I was looking at.  Then backwards lunge walk to the other cones I was looking at.  Plank for a while, including an attempted Q-Jacking call to elbow plank from Runstopper.

Get the plates and do the hairburner thing for at least three cycles through.

One-legged and stop-motion Mary, then COT.

MOLESKIN

  • The hint of spring has brought out the unrepentant hibernators, one of whom was sporting the fleece camo neck warmer.  You can’t be too careful on a 45 degree morning such as today, as experts will tell you that 90% of the body’s heat is lost through the neck.
  • Is there any less permeable terra not-so-firma in A51 than the pink palace’s front yard?  Good googly moogly.  It draws you in, “I am not soggy.  Come to me.”  Then, without warning, you’re moister than a fat guy in July. But….once there, we had no choice but to finish it up.  The passing motorists on 51 would have mocked and derided.
  • Yes, more hairburners.  What they lack in creativity, they make up for in barbarity.  I thought the plates had gotten a little sticky from disuse but it turns out that they are just hard and we are always that slow.
  • Good to have a couple of @F3HolyCity Rollers join us.  Curly and Walker, come on back the next time you’re in town and save us a spot under the bridge.  You’ll probably see a lot of CLT down there on summer vacations.
  • Nice post by FNG James P.  Headlocked by the inexplicably absent Frack, our FNG ground it out.  Come to find out he’s a convenience store magnate, with Sam’s Mart, which I misheard as Sasquatch.  As a result, be on the lookout for the elusive Samsquatch wandering the church parking lots of A51.
  • Nice take out by the little man Slider (Hops 2.1).  Put him on the spot and he stepped up nicely.

Announcements

  • Read the weekly email.  If you don’t get the weekly email, ping Dora:  dora@f3nation.com
  • Check your twitter feed.  F3 is big on twitter.  If you don’t have twitter, you’re missing out on top shelf comz such as notices of impromptu Happy Hours, Nutella recipes from Purple Haze, and lots of #Hashtags.
  • Check your group texts.  If you are not getting group texts that means Radar hasn’t gotten your cell number yet.

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