Body Coddlers

Body Coddlers

Some guys get out of bed and think, “You know, I’d like to start the day with 100 burpees.”  Twenty-nine body-coddlers who didn’t think that (including 1 FNG) decided to meet at The Rock.

Mosey a bit to a commodious section of asphalt for Invigoration.   Invigoration included rarely-encountered exercises such as SSH, IW, slow merkins 3 count down / 1 up (Ha!  I usually do squats there), slow merkins (1 count down, 3 count up), and slow squats (3 count down / 1 up).

Find a partner suitable for dragging.  The rookie mistake here is to go for a pax of similar weight.  What you are really after is to match up the long-armed Pax with another Pax of ample circumference. Once partnered, begin the Body Drag Beast:

  • Drag your partner to the cone, both do the called exercise.
  • Get dragged to the next cone, both do the called exercise
  • Flap-jack your merry way out and back.

The exercises were merkins, squat jumps, and heels to heaven.  It may have been a little wet for some.

Mosey to the firm, dry pavement for more partner cardio (they run) and miscellany (we exercise until they get back).  Exercises were dollies, flutters, LBCs with legs in the upright and locked position (90 degrees), and a 6″ plank as long as you could.

Mosey again, lunge walk to the cones I was looking at.  Then backwards lunge walk to the other cones I was looking at.  Plank for a while, including an attempted Q-Jacking call to elbow plank from Runstopper.

Get the plates and do the hairburner thing for at least three cycles through.

One-legged and stop-motion Mary, then COT.

MOLESKIN

  • The hint of spring has brought out the unrepentant hibernators, one of whom was sporting the fleece camo neck warmer.  You can’t be too careful on a 45 degree morning such as today, as experts will tell you that 90% of the body’s heat is lost through the neck.
  • Is there any less permeable terra not-so-firma in A51 than the pink palace’s front yard?  Good googly moogly.  It draws you in, “I am not soggy.  Come to me.”  Then, without warning, you’re moister than a fat guy in July. But….once there, we had no choice but to finish it up.  The passing motorists on 51 would have mocked and derided.
  • Yes, more hairburners.  What they lack in creativity, they make up for in barbarity.  I thought the plates had gotten a little sticky from disuse but it turns out that they are just hard and we are always that slow.
  • Good to have a couple of @F3HolyCity Rollers join us.  Curly and Walker, come on back the next time you’re in town and save us a spot under the bridge.  You’ll probably see a lot of CLT down there on summer vacations.
  • Nice post by FNG James P.  Headlocked by the inexplicably absent Frack, our FNG ground it out.  Come to find out he’s a convenience store magnate, with Sam’s Mart, which I misheard as Sasquatch.  As a result, be on the lookout for the elusive Samsquatch wandering the church parking lots of A51.
  • Nice take out by the little man Slider (Hops 2.1).  Put him on the spot and he stepped up nicely.

Announcements

  • Read the weekly email.  If you don’t get the weekly email, ping Dora:  dora@f3nation.com
  • Check your twitter feed.  F3 is big on twitter.  If you don’t have twitter, you’re missing out on top shelf comz such as notices of impromptu Happy Hours, Nutella recipes from Purple Haze, and lots of #Hashtags.
  • Check your group texts.  If you are not getting group texts that means Radar hasn’t gotten your cell number yet.

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Hops
10 years ago

pure comedy as always TR. Solid beatdown. the one-legged dolly’s to end was diabolical. I thought every Clemson grad wears a camo fleece neck warmer. I knew the hairburners were coming…IH jinxed us when he said he was glad we weren’t doing hairburners up the entrance from Rea Road..spoke too soon. Strikeout disappeared during the hairburners…not sure if he was finding a quiet, hiddent spot to spill merlot or grappling with a dukey?
Great to have you with us Samsquatch; and welcome to World Tour who was FNG to the Rock.

Iron Horse
Iron Horse
10 years ago

TR did not disappoint – the judges gave high marks for complete use of venue as we hit most corners of the Rock. the hairburners were a nice touch – hidden in the truck until the final quarter. i did discover that there is less friction if used top-down….and accordingly we replaced that ugly black coating with a nice new silver sheen. you’re welcome. #ismellburningmetal.

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