Meathead, Meet Meathands
Nine men stuffed a banana in their pants and took a beating at the hands of a marauding band of feral monkeys. It wasn’t pretty. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIJ3jhgvPHo
WARM UP
- 10 swings
- Prying Squat
- Halo x 10 ea way
- Press x 10 ea side
- Goblet squat x 10
- 1H Swing x 10 ea side
- Snatch x 5 ea side
THANG, Pt.1
Secret Service Snatch: AMRAP snatches for 10 minutes with a 24 kg bell (53 lbs). Switch hands as needed. Don’t quit. More explanation HERE
THANG, Pt. 2
- Partner 1: 1H Swings (2x ea side) Partner 2: Hairburner x 4
- Shake out mosey
- Pax choice Farmer carry: Two bells per hand, OR Chest to chest partner carry with heavy bag, OR 48kg and bag of dog chow (functional fitness)
- Back to hairburners…Partner 1: Bottoms Up Press (2x ea side) Partner 2: Hairburner x 4
FINISHER
- Swings x 10 (Heavy)
- Swings x 15 (Heavy)
- Swings x 25 (Moderate)
COT
MOLESKINE
- Here’s the BB form the last time we did the SSST: http://f3nation.com/2013/10/22/dead-fish-handshake/ Not much to add except it still stinks. For the record: 200 with 50 lb KB for me. Pipe up with your totals to benchmark future gains.
- Not only is good form good for the body, it’s good for the hands. If you have blisters from today’s session, it could be from gripping too tight, or in the wrong place. Nothing worse for a Meathead than Meathands.
- Good to have Soul Glo back in the mix after taking a 7 month break sculpting his pencil arms for BRR and marathon training (not that I am one to throw stones….). Didn’t seem to miss a beat, though, taking the 48kg for a walk. Opted out on the dog chow, however.
- Chanel gets Meathead of The Week for actually wearing the uniform. The rest of you sit in the corner and think about that.
ANNOUNCEMENT
Get get a gear shirt: http://f3.mudgear.com/collections/nc-clt-south-area51/products/the-area-51-gear-shirt
ORDERS DUE BY TONIGHT. NEED A COUPLE MORE TO RUN BATCH.
Special Delivery
Sixteen men.got roughed up smoothing out the parking lot.
WARM UP
- Slow Mosey
- SSH x 20
- Slow Mosey
- IW x 20
- Slow Mosey
- Low Slow Squats x 20
- Slow Mosey
- Slow Merkins x 15
- SPECIAL DELIVERY: Unload the TRuckster
THANG
Team up for Pair-burners
- Hairburners and Merkins x 100/pair
- Hairburners and Squats x 50/pai
Mosey with plates to bleachers
- Pax 1 run to base of stairs and back / Pax 2 dips with plates – 2 rounds each
- Pax 1 run to base of stairs and back / Pax 2 weighted lunge – 2 rounds each
- Pax 1 run to top of stairs and back / Pax 2 flutter press with plate – 1 round each
Mosey to Start with plates
- Burn hair to end of parking lot and back – flapjack as required
- Inchworm to first BB goal and back – flapjack as required
- Finisher: one armed or one leg hairburner to first BB goal and back OR standard hairburner to 2nd BB goal and back
COT
MOLE(MAN)SKINE
- Hairburners: What better way to spike the heart rate and save the joints at the same time? Nice effort on what had to be one of the stickiest parking lots the plates have seen. Butt down, hand way out in front and keep driving. Simple, just not so easy. Thanks to Dunder for Mifflin in the grass instead of on the plates. #BabyBirds
- Lots of shoes collected this morning. Kevlar is too far ahead to be caught, but Base Camp is making a strong play for second, even if they have to go past the deadline to do it. There’s even asinine talk of trying to wrest away Kevlar’s crown, but only talk. No one is willing to put their shirt sleeves where their mouth is.
- Header, on the other hand, is resigned to consequences of his questionable gambling skills. And by “questionable” I mean awful. The Sleeveless Winter bet wasn’t even his worst wager in the last month. Turns out he lost his Volvo betting arrival times at the USAir lounge last week, done in by a late arrival from Ithaca. Then he went out and bought a Jeep. Get help, man.
- Always good to see Passport sporting the ninja mask at 39 degrees.
- Simba pushing for a name change for our Belarussian (?) friend, Morning Star. Apparently the capital of Belarus is Minsk. Rochelle, Rochelle seems a likely candidate….
- Thanks to Passport, Fireman Ed and the Base Camp Pax for having me out to Q today.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- Sign up for the A51 Christmas Party by NOV. 21: http://f3nation.com/2014/11/07/area51christmasparty/
- Sign up for the Joe Davis Run.
- Last week for #SoleRedemption. Get it done.
- New Saturday Union Co workout launches this week: The Commitment. Ice 9 and Snowflake Site Qs.
You Won’t Believe What NC Drivers are Saying about this Backblast
Twelve angry men came to rage against the machine (the machine being Brown’s ad-infested Pandora playlist, “Songs I Still Hate 20 Years Later”). After an implied disclaimer and inferred acquiescence, we proceeded thusly:
WARM UP
- 2H Swings x 20
- SSH x 10
- 2H Swings x 20
- I Walker x 10
- 2H Swings x 20
- S/Low Squat x 10
- 1H Swings x 10 ea side
THANG
Eleven (or as they say in Florence, “lebb’n”–one syllable with a silent N) Minutes of Moderate Discomfort – Don’t put bell down until the end, all exercises 30 sec each
- Snatch – L
- Snatch – R
- Reverse Lunge – L
- Reverse Lunge – R
- High Pull – L
- High Pull – R
- One Legged RDL – L
- One Legged RDL – R
- Clean – L
- Clean – R
- 1H Swing – L
- 1H Swing – R
- Press – L
- Press – R
- 2H Swing x 2 (1 min total)
- Viking Press – L
- Viking Press – R
- Louganis
- Louganis (no press)
Core Circuit
- Hanging Knees to Elbows x 10
- Dolly with KB Press (until Knees to E’s return)
- Knees to Es x 10
- Flutter with KB Press
- Knees to Es x 10
- Pullovers
- Knees to Es x 10
- Glute Bridge with 1 Arm KB Press x5 ea side
Repeat 11 Min Complex and Core Circuit
COT (with KB locked out overhead)
The RumpleMoleskine
- Nothing simple about a complex. It was bad enough the first time through but second time was just plain hurtful. Good work if you made it through to the end without putting down your bell or fast forwarding through commercials.
- The keen observer will note that there is only 10 minutes of exercises listed. So sue me (the timer counts the transitions, too).
- Rediscovered the hanging knee raise Qing Joust last week. Those will stick with you for a few days. Like the Jelly of the Month, it the gift that keeps on giving.
- Thanks to Brown for bringing the iPod Wallet, Speaker and Shave Kit his kids gave him for Father’s Day. Good to have tunes distract us from the pain.
- Good to have Splinter as Site FNG at Meathead. We expect to see more of you (and less of your sleeves) in the near future.
- TClaps to Stone Cold, at his first workout since FINALLY running the NYC marathon. Came back with suspect stories of passing Tiki Barber at Mile 20. Sure thing, big man.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- Shoes
- Joe Davis Run
- Be on the lookout for Thanksgiving morning convergence news.
- A51 Christmas Party preblast will hit the interweb in the next day or so.
Fine Print
Eleven pax gathered to commemorate the day Luther stuck it to the man.
WARM UP
- 10 hand release burpees
- Mosey to field, around track, and up the home bleachers.
- SSH x 20, touch the fence and back
- I Walkers x 20, touch the tables and back
- Low Slow Squats, run to far playground and back
- 10 hand release burpees, touch the fence, skip a step on the way back up
- Low Slow Ferkins x 10
- Mosey around track to the Gma’s bottom
THANG
- First Evolution–Pax 1: Run 400 around track and up Gma / Pax 2: Hanging knees to elbows. Flapjack for 2 rounds each.
- Second Evolution–Pax 1: Run to opposite 30 yard line, up bleachers and back. / Pax 2: Derkins with feet on fence. Flapjack for 2 rounds each.
- 10 hand release burpees
- Third Evolution–Pax 1: Run to the bottom of Gma, backwards run back up. / Pax 2: Squats or lunges. Flapjack for 2 rounds each.
- Field work: Stop motion lunge walk, approx 15 yards, sprint to far goal line.
- Reverse lunge walk, approx 10 yards, backwards run to midfield, sprint to goal line.
- 100 yard progressive sprint,
- Mosey to the house
- 10 hand release burpees
COT
THE MOLEY RINGWALD-SKIN
An almost negligently quick look at the things that were:
- Lobster Roll’s Shoe Incentive Plan leaves something to be desired. Beatings will continue until morale improves.
- Semi Gloss and Uncle Leo with a bedhead showdown. 6-8 with the afro.
- Semi-kotters to Semi Gloss, posting after stuffing Little Gloss full of pureed pork rind baby food and making a dash for the door.
- Header finally starting to read the fine print on his twitter bet, but gamely getting a head start on coming Sleeveless Winter. F3/Poker pax want to know if you have any openings, say every night of the week? #Baby—> #Candy
- Backwards Grandma is not pleasant.
- The Royals lost the other night but there’s always next year and/or generation….
- Based on twitter traffic last night, I’ve come to learn that the Panthers stink and Cam is loser, but he has some cool cleats.
- Horsehead claims to have posted 10 days in a row.
- There were no group hugs.
You pagan diabetics have fun tonight. We are going bowling.
Track Intervals and Buffers
Eleven fun-sized pax held their nose and ate their spinach this morning. All agreed: it’s better to have run track intervals than it is to run track intervals.
WARM UP
- 2nd F mosey x 1/2 mile down to Rosecliff in search of the Haggis, who was to join us on the track for part of his 20+ miler this morning. No Haggis to be found.
- 2nd F mosey x 1/2 mile back to the parking lot. Started to do the patented Brat warm up set but couldn’t bring myself to soldier on past heel walks.
- Mosey down to the track to find the Southern Hemisphere Running Club circling the wrong way. Nothing to do but join the clockwise swirl.
THANG
- 200 m at 1 mile pace (?); 200 m recovery. x5
- 400 m at 1 mile pace; 400 m recovery. x3
- 800 m at 1 mile pace; 400 m recovery x1
- 400 m at 1 mile pace; 400 m recovery. x3
- 200 m at 1 mile pace; 400 m recovery. x2
- 1/2 mile to 3/4 mile warm down
MOLESKIN
- Despite a halfhearted attempt to hide the track Weinke from the FT pax, it leaked out anyway. I suspect Radar picked it up through a Scottish informant (Codename: Unicorn Breath), then sent it downstream to his clergyman (codename: Trappist Monkey), but even with the plan exposed 11 pax posted. Running the track is appears to be a FT violation on the order of breaking the one urinal buffer. Got more than one hairy eyeball on the call but was fortunate to avoid #TinyFistsofFury.
- Lots of spirited efforts out there. Leg led from wire to wire, with Hopper and Hairball not too far behind. Haze is already fighting second half marathon demons (6 weeks out) but had some snappy intervals even after a long run on Sunday. Rock Thrill blistered that last 400, Spackler was responsible for many PRs today–by running uncomfortably close behind many of the S. Hemisphere tomatoes. Horsehead staggered dazedly around the track asking any male over 6′-4″ (are you Hopper?) what we were doing next. The original Clown Car EH’s Good Hands (Bad Shoulder) and Geraldo have opted for smokeboots in lieu of KBs. And Lex Luthor pushed hard despite having to tote twice the number of last names around the track than the rest of us. Hyphen Strong right there.
- Plenty of preblast chatter from Jok-rah’s Book Club but no #woolyvest sighted. Guess he was busy reading what I dream when I dream about running. Chelms also DNS..
- Haggis did finally show with his bodyguard, Bratwurst. Between the fanny pack and the head wrap they were quite the pair.
- Was surprised that we got in 6.5 miles. Seemed to go by much quicker than that.
- It was fun while it lasted. Just like when I “accidentally” put the sweaters in the dryer, I may have worked my way out of an invite back.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- Joe Davis Run details HERE. Make an early HC. It’s easier on the organizers.
- Bratwurst (?) and Bananas hard launch F3/Dromedary at Marvin Ridge HS tomorrow morning. Come out and support them. Email me if you want to clown car.
- Snowflake and Ice 9 launch F3/The Commitment on 11-15 at Weddington HS. 0630 start.
Fast Twich Pre-blast: Tiger Leg
The Q Schedule may say Turkey Leg but you’re going to get 100% Grade A beef instead.
Never you mind that I’ve never Q’d a running workout; my running resume, like George O’Leary’s, speaks for itself:
- Came in 4th in my waist size at the 1985 Husky’s Chub Rub 1k.
- I ran for Djibouti National Team in the Horn of Africa Amateur Steeplechase circuit in 95.
- Dominated my then 10-year old daughter in the 2010 Jingle Jog.
- I have two dead toe nails and calluses so thick you could set flames to them. #GGordonLiddy
- I’ve read several running books, including that one with shirtless guy on the front where he calls the pizza man to meet him in the desert; Born To Run (you should read this one); and, just recently completed The Perfect Mile (which is even better than Born to Run).
- I read all of Brat’s backblasts. And even understand some of them.
- I follow Nash on Twitter (congratulations on finally besting my PR)
- I have a mole in the shape of the Nike swoosh.
With sterling credentials such as these, you’d be a fool not to post.
Don’t Sell Your Sole
Nineteen independently-minded Pax assembled of their own free will, clear of conscience and pure of heart–discounting for a moment original sin / total depravity. Which reminds me, sounds like Joust had some good numbers today.
There were four for a KB appetizer consisting of 2 Brits and 2 Hairy American Winning Machines. Cottontail didn’t stoop to Haggis’s level by bringing a trailer hitch to KB but he came close with his 1940s Iggy Mandlebaum dumbbell (GO TIME). But credit where credit is due: What he lacked in grace he made up for with awkwardness.
In contrast to the throwback manliness of Cottontail’s dumbbell, was Sussudio’s, ahem, “dog,” Kiara. He was unsure of the breed (which is what I would say, too, if I had a dog like that) but it appeared to be a mix of Maltese, guinea pig and a loofah. Kiara is apparently named after the 5th generation lioness in the lineage of the Lion King and Simba, having not seen his daughter in some time offered thanks while inspecting his glands. Kiara was quite pleased with the whole production.
After Sussudio put the “dog” back in the glove box, the show went on.
THE THANG
Warm Up Burpees:
- Standard x 10
- Long Sleeves x 15
- Long Sleeves and Tights x 20 (and he still almost beat the rest of us. #Webster)
WARM UP CIRCUIT
- Mosey to the S. Entrance.
- Mosey to 1st Wrong Way sign – SSH x 18
- Mosey to 2nd Wrong Way sign – Low Slow Squats x 15
- Mosey to 3rd Wrong Way sign – I Walkers and salutations from the ducks.
- Mosey to 4th Wrong Way sign – Slow merkins x 15 or so (because real people doing real merkins can’t do 10 sets of 50 diamonds, like that crap they pull at Joust)
- Mosey to N. Entrance – Can’t recall, but it was tough, you can be sure. Also found Joker wandering in the from the cemetery.
MERKIN CIRCUIT
- Same stops with 7 diamonds (keeping it real, see above)
LEG CIRCUIT
- Same stops with 10 squat jumps.
CORE CIRCUIT
- Same stops with 7 heels to heaven
Jailbreak back to the house, with a few minutes of Mary before COT.
MOLESKIN(E?)
- Like most Thursday nights after the kids are asleep, I settled down with my Ham radio and police scanner to catch up on international and local events. Soon after getting my channels squelched, I got a text from one of my informants who has infiltrated a Group Texting gang, The Sons of Emoji. At risk of life, limb and not being invited to pick up soccer at Elon Park, our courageous mole forwards me this group text message, from the gang leader himself: “Dear Valued Pax: Your friendship/acquaintance/existence is very important to us and we need your warm body to artificially inflate numbers tomorrow at Joust. Turns out that Meathead Stone Cold let the place go to heck but now that we have a soccer player running the place, we need your support. If you can fog a mirror, post.“
- With loins girded, I took to Twitter to stem such blatant astro-turfing. The resulting twitter slap-fight ended with me confidently (it turns out over-confidently) stating that I would donate one pair of shoes to #SoleRedemption for every pax more that posted at Joust (8 week rolling avg = 7.71 over Kevlar (8 week rolling avg = 20.86). Knowing I was playing with house money, I upped the ante to not just this Friday but the next three after it. I came this close to spotting them 5 pax, too….
- The results after Week 1 puts 10 pairs of shoes on the Big Board for the CRM men.
- There was also considerable Twitter noise Thursday about the whose hill / mountain was bigger, Joust’s or Centurian’s [sic]. The suggestion of a Home and Away between the two AOs was met with crickets. Bwaak, bwaak.
- Fine work by the Kevlar men, a shining example of integrity and uprightness. Don’t be swayed by the culture whispering in your ear. Do the right thing. And if you don’t–well, more shoes on the Big Board.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- Sussudio is Kevlar ShoeQ for #SoleRedemption: http://f3nation.com/2014/10/16/project-soleredemption-to-benefit-charlotte-rescue-mission/
- Olympus is celebrating it’s one year anniversary tomorrow. Get out there and support them, lest the Sons of Emoji come knocking.
- Mile Time Trial at Community House Middle School this Tuesday. Look for more info on all the appropriate Comz channels. Looking to borrow a pair of Nike Frees, size 12. DM me.
Kevlar Pre-Blast
Judging by Busch’s Wednesday pre-tweet, his Joust Q will be a spine-tingling tour de force of histrionic proportions. Maybe even better than that Olympus workout where Alf replicated a Japanese game show. Super Short Fuzzy Balls or something. Can’t compete with that.
All I can offer: You know that sense of accomplishment you feel after working a piece of steak out of your teeth with your tongue? Kevlar will be like that.
Two Headed Blood Moon Gopher
With Cheese Curd on the IR with the Cheese Crud, and Stage Coach on the DR in the Gateway City, #BattleCat springed/sprang/sprung to action as substi-Q. Twenty-one pax took a draw from the Full Bold Flavor of Death Valley gloom.
Partner up by speed and/or headlamp and head out in search of the Blood Moon Gopher:
- Down the gopher-holed gravel road to the rails
- 10 rail jumps (or squats for modifiers)
- 15 dips at bleachers
- Run to concession area
- 10 burpees per pex
- Run to track
- Lunge walk length of bleachers
- Run to far turn
- 15 merkins
- Run to near turn
- 15 heels to heaven (observe eclipse, don’t get trampled by joggers)
- Run to concession area
- 10 squat jumps
One loop complete. Stay with partner, Repeato until time called. Most pax finished 2.5 to 3 loops.
10 MOM – A strong core is essential for men of vigor– 6 minutes just won’t do.
- Pre-game waiting for 6: Peter Parkers x 15, Parker Peters x 15, Plank
- Flutter x 10
- One-legged flutter x 10
- Other-legged flutter x 10
- Stop motion flutter x 10
- Dolly x 10
- One-legged dolly x 10
- Other-legged dolly x 10
- Stop motion dolly x 10
- LBC x 20
- Plank for 90 sec.
COT
MOLESKINE
- Since we won’t see him again until the warmer months, a nod to 49er who first brought the Gopher to DV. I tweaked it a little by adding the partner requirement, which may or may not have worked depending on your partner’s speed and/or gastrointestinal urgency. The shower of FEBApplause in the COT was deafening.
- Kotters to Bugle Boy, who after his initial two posts took as many weeks to convalesce. Good to have you back, our dungareed friend. We promise not to pair you with Spackler again.
- Not sure where Purple Haze went. He was with us, then he wasn’t.
- All the running is coming home to roost in the Turkey Barn. It seems Turkey Leg is moving this Friday and is soliciting help from the Meathead community to move everything heavier than a lampshade or duvet cover. If that strikes your fancy, he’d like to have a word with you.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- The Union Co (U-Co? U-Cow? UnCo? UC?) boys have a new Friday workout–F3/Overdrive–starting this week, 10/10, at Sun Valley MS. Stone Cold leads a clown car convoy to support the launch. Hairband and Glass Joe Site Qs. 0530-0615.
- The SoB crowd also launches a new Friday workout this week: The Brave (something about Scotland). Madame T and Champagne are your Site Qs. Launch from The Vine at 0515, done at 0615.
- Not to be outdone, Turkey Leg is launching a new one-time only workout Friday: F3/Move. From 1-6 pm. DM TL for details.
Meat and Potatoes. Again.
Twenty two men had the iron will to execute the hardest exercise of the day: the fartsack getup, x1 (or as many as it takes) OYO.
After a rote and leaden disclaimer (but a disclaimer nonetheless), partner up and mosey to the starting line for loop around church.
- Combined KB weight 70 or less: two burpees, 10 merkins and CMIYC.
- Combined KB > 70: 10 merkins and CMIFC.
Line up on curb at North Entry
ROUND ONE
- Median Suicides
ROUND TWO
- 12 snatches, ea hand / 15 for 35 lb or less. Run to first median and back.
- 9 snatches ea hand / 12 for 35 lb or less. Run to second median and back.
- 6 snatches ea hand / 9 for 35 lbs or less. Run to top of hill and back.
- Early finishers plank on bell.
ROUND THREE
- 12 racked squats ea side/ 15 for 35 lb or less. Run to first median and back.
- 9 racked squats ea side / 12 for 35 lb or less. Run to second median and back.
- 6 racked squats ea side / 9 for 35 lbs or less. Run to top of hill and back.
- Early finishers plank on bell.
ROUND FOUR
- 12 flutters with press, 15 for 35 lb or less. Run to first median and back.
- 9 flutters with press,12 for 35 lb or less. Run to second median and back.
- 6 flutters with press, 9 for 35 lbs or less. Run to top of hill and back.
- Early finishers hold 6″ with KB overhead.
ROUND FIVE
- 12 high pulls, ea hand / 15 for 35 lb or less. Run to first median and back.
- 9 high pulls ea hand / 12 for 35 lb or less. Run to second median and back.
- 6 high pulls ea hand / 9 for 35 lbs or less. Run to top of hill and back.
- Early finishers repeat last set.
ROUND SIX
- 9 1L RDL, ea side (same for all), Run to first median and back.
- 6 1L RDL ea side, Run to second median and back.
- 3 1L RDL ea side, Run to top of hill and back.
- Early finishers run to top of hill and back.
ROUND SEVEN
- 15 dollies with press, in cadence. Run to first median and back.
- 12 dollies with press, in cadence. Run to second median and back.
- 12 dollies with press, in cadence. Run to top of hill with bell
- Plank on bell.
Peaches and Herb with your partner (and it feels so good): 10 merkins and chase the farmer.
COT
MOLESKIN
- Another variation of the same meat and potatoes weinke: basic KB stuff and sprints. It works every time, though.
- Baracus bellied up the bar today by grabbing a 45 pounder. Seems like a lot of guys are stepping up the weight recently, including quite a few 28 kg bells in our midst these days.
- TClaps to Cottonmouth (500 swings) and Sussudio (3 miles +/-) putting in extra work at 0500.
- Strong work by Alf, as usual (wheelhouse workout for him). Same for Bulldog and Busch, Swiss Miss, Puddin Pop and the many others flying out there.
- Also can’t overlook Drop Thrill, who is getting better every week. Great embodiment of stepping out of his comfort zone and moving into some very demanding workouts. Keep it up.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- Get with Header and Honey Bee about helping warm up the kids for the Isabella Santos 1 mile Fun Run in Ballantyne this weekend. We could use a few more guys in F3 shirts to lather up the kiddos.
- Get with Champagne and Frasier about tutoring at Matthews Elementary in the near future. Details to be released soon.