Author Archive Joker

Part Deux

8 men gathered in the gloom for the second edition of Base Camp… our new moderate intensity workout in Charlotte South. 

The Thang

Warm up:

15 side straddle hop

10 Imperial walker

10 merkins

10 squats

10 mountain climbers

10 arm rotations (each way)

5 burpees

Jog around the track:

Lap 1: 5 merkins in the turns

Lap 2: 5 burpees in the turns

10 squats

10 jumping lunges

10 peter parkers

20 dips on the bleachers

20 merkins on the railing

Repeat

 Hill climbs:

10 merkins

10 wide arm merkins

5 burpees

 30 sec wall sits

12 wall jumps (6 each arm)

10 decline merkins against wall

 15 side straddle hop

15 LBC

12 flutter kicks

12 dolly

10 jumping lunges

8 burpees

Altitude Sickness

11 men gathered at South Charlotte Middle School this morning for the launch of Base Camp. 

The Thang

-SSSH X20

-Squats X15

-CDD X10

-LBC X15

-Merkins X10

-Jog to baseball fields

-Dips X 15 and step ups X 20 – 3 sets of each

-Plank

-Jog to track

-Partner decline merkins – 2 sets

-1/4 mile Indian Run

-Plank

-1/4 mile Indian Run

-Lunge walk up hill

-Mini Jacobs Ladder – 3 times to the top, with five merkins each time

-COP – Squats and Wide Arm Merkins

Moleskin

-So we weren’t actually on Mt. Everest, in Nepal, at an altitude of 17, 598 feet.  But that’s OK; we still managed get the heart rate pumping this morning. 

-Kotters to 89… rejoining us in the gloom after taking a long winter break.  Despite his long absence, 89 was moving at a fast clip this morning with fresh legs. 

-Welcome to Cheese Whiz [FNG]… a Philly boy, as if you couldn’t tell.  

-We will back out for Base Camp every Monday at 5:30AM at South Charlotte Middle School.  It’s a perfect workout for an FNG — or anyone else — that craves the F3 experience, but is looking for a moderate intensity boot camp option.

Goruckers on the shelf, but the show must GO ON!

AYE!!!!  16 brave souls entered the frigid gloom and posted at the Matrix on Monday morning, celebrating the bankers day off.  Most thinking that the holiday downpainment would be a nice leisurely gesture to kicking off a day of M-DO’s (aka Honey Dos), especially with rookie Q-Z at the helm.  As a rookie Q making his debut, TR began the hazing early and right off the bat telling Zip-A-Dee he needed to stop by the Petsmart for some dog hair trimmers for his scruff.  And then the jokes about “tights” ensued and how they speak for themselves – sorry boys but it was sub 30!  Joker even got in on the act over email wondering if anyone confused Z as James Harden (Houston Rockets) or Brian Wilson (SF Giants pitcher).  Short answer = NOT!

  The Thang:

 –          (10) Warm Up burpees on your own.

–          Not warm yet?  Okay let’s do (10) more!

 –          Mosey (Run I SAY) to the soccer field

  • Butt Kicks
  • Karaoke Left
  • Backwards
  • Karaoke Right

 –          20x SSH

–          20x Imperial Walker

–          10x Merkins

–          20x Mountain Climbers

–          20x Peter Parkers

 The Real Thang:

 –          Head up to the track, oh wait there’s a perty playground (Partner UP, size does not matter)

  • partner 1 runs around the school while partner 2 does pull-ups (AMRAPs)
  • Rinse and Repeat but run FASTER and do more pull-ups
  • Rinse and Repeat Again; however, partner 2 has option to do pull-ups, dips or decline merkins (AMRAPs)

 –          Grab some wall for Peoples Chair and analysis of the sporting events over the weekend!

  • Loved seeing Duke get throttled!  The ACC SUX and the BIG TEN RULES – “GO BLUE!!!!!”

 –          Line back up on the track for a mini-WIB: partner 1 sprints the length of the parking lot to the beginning of the track, partner 2 does AMRAP merkins x3 (regular, wide arm, diamond).

 –          Grab some wall for Peoples Chair and make fun of the bankers who have the day off today that will be returning to the fartsack after this morning’s workout.

 

  • I recall Turkey Leg raising his wing that he’d be off and was certainly headed back to the fartsack no later than 6:21am.

 

–          Grab some frozen tundra for 8ish MOM:

  • 20 LBC
  • 20x dolly
  • 20x flutter
  • 20x bicycle
  • 15x in / out
  • 15x russian twists

 

–          (1) minute remaining?  AMRAP merkins for 60 seconds.

 

Moleskin:

Z wasn’t sure how many would post after the wintry weather over the weekend, Larry Sprinkle forecasting the temps to be in the high teens / low 20’s and most of the Goruckers on the shelf licking their wounds in the fartsack.  Rumor has it Dora was indeed dead asleep in ridiculous pain dreaming of punching Jack Webb below the belt. #GORUCK!!!  Congrats and T-CLAPS to the insane clown possey also known as Goruckers for the work you put in over the weekend!!!

 As for this morning, the PAX brought it STRONG not knowing what the rookie Q had in store!  I mean, Mall Cop was looking like a Carl Lewis’esque SPRINTER torching the asphalt!!  There was definitely a lot of chatter (words of encouragement) between partners during the mini WIB.  Encouraging words such as: RUN FASTER <grumble grumble>, it’s not a jog it’s a SPRINT <mumble mumble>; Run Forrest Run; and those in plank performing merkins taunting their counterparts by sounding off 101 – 102 – 103 etc… as they approached.  The FNGs also got into the action as Costco (FNG) decided to chime in during our 8ish MOM advising Z his watch was broken (after announcing WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE) and that’s why he’s always late for work.  Well sir, if you could get Zs coffee right the first time (how hard is it to prepare black coffee?), he wouldn’t mind being on time. 

And on that note, Zip-A-Dee is OUT!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

–          If anyone is interested in participating in the BRR (Blue Ridge Relay), please contact Mall Cop this week.  Preferably in the next couple of days.

–          SIGN UP FOR SPARTAN!!!!

 

Superbowl Monday

17 men gathered this morning to work-off Sunday evening’s chicken wings, pizza, nachos and beer.

The Thang – Joker on Q

– Warm up lap

-Squats X40

-IW X40

-SSH X40

-Pull ups X10; dips X20… rinse repeat for three sets

-Starfish run, with 20 merkins, 20 CDD, 20 squats, 20 LBCs, and 10 burpees, respectively

-20 merkins; followed by 20 merkins; followed by 10 merkins

-Partner carry 40 yards; flapjack

The Thang – Smash on Q

-Run 40 yards; merkins

-Run 40 yards; mountain climbers

-Run 40 yards; jumping lunge

-Run 40 yards; LBC

-People’s Chair

-Wall merkins

-Mountain climbers

-Peter Parker

-Merkin with right foot near right hand; switch

-Parking lot sprint to finish

 

Moleskin

-Triple claps for Smash… taking the Q for the first time.

-Apparently Cottontail wasn’t sufficiently smoked after today’s workout, as I noticed him banging out a few extra reps post-COT.  This must be how he is training for his first Q experience this coming Saturday.

-Young Love and Coal Miner’s Daughter… impressive work guys… you’ve become regulars for sure. 

-Turkey Leg has taken the “suzy chapstick” moniker from YHC… as I’ve taken enough abuse from Tiger Rag on my headband that I’ve retired it [at least for now]. 

-YHC had a strange feeling today when I felt like I had forgotten how to count the right way.. kind of like the way that golfers sometimes mysteriously lose their swings.

O Canada

25 men got after it this morning at The Matrix. 

The Thang – Strange Brew QIC

  • Lap around school, form up on main soccer field
  • SSH x 25
  • IW x 30
  • Carolina Dry Docks x 25
  • Hold plank
  • Air Squats x 30
  • Mosey to edge of field
  • Partner pepper pod across field to pole, while other partner merkins amrap; switchorama
  • Partner pepper pod across field to pole, while other partner carolina dry dock amrap; switchorama
  • Partner carry out, switch, and back from pole
  • Plank it up

The Thang – Joker QIC

  • Slow squat X20
  • Slow wide arm merkin X20
  • Slow dolly X20; hold em
  • Slow flutter X20; hold em
  • LBC X15
  • Lunge walk 50 yards; 20 merkins
  • Wrestler lung walk 50 yards; 20 merkins
  • Bunny hop broad jump 50 yards; 10 merkins
  • Bunny hop broad jump 50 yards; 10 merkins
  • Bear crawl X 50 yards
  • Run around school
  • People’s Chair / Merkin combo
  • Run to COT

Moleskin

– Great first-time lead today by Strange Brew.  YHC still can’t explain what a pepper pod is, but we did em and we did em fast. 

– Remember when F3 nicknames like “Red Warrior” and “Dark Warrior” were given without hesitation?  Not anymore.  Today’s FNGs better be prepared for something less flattering/manly… like, for instance… Mary Kate.  Welcome to the team Mary Kate… we hope you live up to your name [whatever that means].

-YHC and Mall Cop were reminded of the laws of physics this morning, when I decided to jump high for the piggy back ride and Mall Cop decided to bend forward at the same time… we hit the ground very gracefully, and we might incorporate this movement into a future workout. 

-Lots of rucks this morning, though Donkey Kong must have left his at home for the first time in a few months. 

-Short Sale… we were thinking of you today.  We know you will be back with us in the Spring, better than ever.  We may even call you Six Million Dollar Man.

Deep Freeze

Six men gathered at Area 51 for a crisp start to the day.

The Thang [all shown in civilian count]

IW X 40

Squat X 40

SSH X 40

Warm up jog around school parking lot

Move to playground

-10 pull ups, 20 dips — rinse and repeat for 3 sets of each

Move to the lower field  for five cycles of the 100 yard loop, interrupted at the end of each cycle by:

-merkins  X20

-squats X20

-CCD X20

-merkins X20

-squats X20

Move to playground

-20 dips, 20 incline merkins — rinse and repeat for 3 sets of each

Move to wall

-People’s Chair for 60 seconds, 20 decline merkins — rinse and repeat for 3 sets of each

Move to field

-800 meter run

Move to parking lot

-lunge walk; wrestler walk; merkin broad jump

-bear crawl

-crab crawl

 

Moleskin

-Things were slick in Area 51 this morning.  We managed to stay on our feet, but a few close calls during the 800 M run as we traversed over sidewalks and paved roads.

– Strange Brew still has a ruck attached to his back wherever he goes.  He was really pushing himself today… merkins with a bag of bricks on your back aint easy.

– Join us on Monday at The Matrix… Strange Brew will be making his debut as Q.

 

Two Toboggans Are Better Than One

28 men / young men gathered for an end of year workout in Charlotte South.

The Thang

Run around school

Squats X 40

SSH X 40

CDD X 40

Run around school

Plank

Mosey to Field

3 minutes of Mary

Mosey to Playground

-10 pull ups; 30 merkins; 30 dips; 30 squats — rinse and repeat for 3 sets, with 20 merkins on last set

-Starfish run, with five pain stations [each with reps X 20] – CCD, Merkins, LBC, Squats, Burpees

Plank

Mosey to rock pile

Rock press X 20

200 yard run with rock

Rock press X 20

Return rocks to pile

40 yard sprint

20 slow merkins

 

Moleskin

-So slapshot, our native upstate new yorker, shows up in two layers of everything this morning… including 2 hats… #thinblood

-Speaking of slapshot, he jumped the gun on the 40-yard sprint, but he probably couldn’t hear the official start b/c of the extra layers on his ears.

-For the rock carry/sprint, Tiger Rag — true to form — decided that a manly rock would be about the size of VW bug.  Must be all that kettle bell swinging that gets that testosterone flowing.

-Good to see all the 2.0s out in the gloom this morning.

-Remember, Skunkworks is closed on Jan 1.  If you are looking for a workout, join us at the Metro convergence at Freedom Park.  Meet at the Cinnebare at the Arboretum at 6:25AM for a prompt departure for Freedom Park.

This is Spinal Tap

11 men gathered in the gloom of Charlotte South this morning… turning our amplifiers up to “11” for maximum impact. 

The Thang

Imperial Walkers X 30

SSH X 30

Squats X 30

1/2 mile run around school

High knees

Butt-kickers

100M warm up, with 10 merkins

100M sprint, with 10 merkins

100M sprint, with 10 squats

100M sprint, with 10 squats

10 incline merkins / People’s Chair

20 decline merkins / People’s Chair

15 dips / 5 pull ups — 3 sets of each

100 M relay race

Carolina Dry Dock X 20

Three minutes of Mary – LBC/Flutter/Dolly

Moleskin

– T-shirt weather this morning… perfect conditions.

– After the COT, Big League Chew says, “Hey, anyone want to join me for 30 burpees?”.  Of course a few of us did. 

– Some chatter this morning about a nickname change for our very own Wanker.  Stay tuned. 

– Remember, The Matrix will be held on Christmas Eve… but with a 6:30AM start time.

Premier League

27 men gathered around the shovel flag in Area 51.

The Thang

Warmup
SSH x 22, Imperial Walker x 16, Merkins x 13, Turkish Getup x 10, Mountain Climber x 20, Peter Parker x 10, Seal Jacks x 10

Mosey to the wall
Peoples Chair 90 secs
Decline Merkins x 15
Peoples Chair 60 secs
Decline Merkins x 20 (15 turned out to be too easy)
At Joker’s insistence, one more round of Peoples Chair 60 secs
Plank

Mosey to trailhead

Group 1: 7 Burpees while Group 2 runs trail
Flapjack
Rinse and Repeat with 10 Spartan Burpees
Plank it up

 Jog down to the fields while every 10-15 yards jumping up and doing a “header”.

Split up into two groups and got down in bows and toes and did the Cacalaci Railroad (hop).

Lunge walk over to where the cones were and did suicide sprints (5,10,15yrds) while the other group did merkins.

Rinse and repeat.

Split up w a partner and did a wheelbarrow race for 15 yards while the other group did little baby crunches and then flip flop.

Lunge walk about 30 yards and then staying in 2 groups did the Cacalaci railroad in the plank position (crawl)

Run over to rock pile for everyone to get a rock.

Two circles, seated position, passed the rocks around the circle for 60 seconds and then went the other way.

We then did the Lougaines x15 with the rocks
Little baby crunches x15 w rocks

Drop the rocks and run to playground.

10 pull-ups
20 push-ups
20 dips
20 squats

Rinse and repeat for the final 8 min.

Moleskin

– So, Short Sale shows up at 0701 for his first Q at Area 51!  No worries though, as he emerged from his car and immediately launched into a SSH.

-Header, as you may know, is a soccer coach/player… hence his nickname.  He found a creative way to incorporate headers into our workout… and watching the PAX lurch into running headers – in unison – was a scary sight.

Sour Milk

19 men gathered in the gloom [lilteraly] for The Matrix.

The Thang

Run around field             

Side straddle hop             20x

Squat    20x

Imperial Walker                20x

Clark Griswold / twist squat jumps           20x

Merkin plank ups             15x

Mtn climber       20x

Jog to field – Interval               

1)            Bear Crawl         

                Carolina Dry Dock x10

                B-Bear Crawl     

                Wide merkin x10

                Sprint back/       

2)            Karaoke Right   

                Squats x20

                Karaoke Left     

                Squats x20

                Sprint back / LBC             

3)            Forward / Backward shuttle run               

Indian Run          3 lines  

1)            Traditional back to the front       

2)            5 merkin chaser               

3)            Zig zag to the front         

Run to Wall                                                        

1)            1 leg wall squats               15 per  

2)            Balls to wall push up       hold/ push up   

3)            Peoples chair                                    

Run to Bench on your own                                         

1)            Triceps Dips narrow        20x                        

2)            Decline merkins                15x                        

3)            Pull Ups                10                          

4)            Jump ups             20x                        

1)            Triceps Dips Wide            20x                        

2)            Diamond merkin              15x                        

3)            Pull Ups                10                          

4)            Jump ups             20x                        

Last man max count to fail                                          

                Planked roll ups                                               

Abs        LBC’s                      30                          

                Bicycles                20                          

                Super Man          1 min                    

                Dolly                      20                          

                Mason Twist      30                          

                Leg flutter           20

Moleskin

– Triple claps for Cheese Curd on his first Q experience. 

– Dora and Salt Lick with strong performances in the planked roll ups [“dive bombers”] to failure contest.