Today I was accused of making up the weinke on the fly. That hurts. Ad-libbing, yes, but making it up? How dare you?
11 men plus a Chicken in a towel arrived at the humpiest site in Waxhaw. Moments after departing their air conditioned vehicles they were already dripping and I hadn’t even given the DiCCS yet.
Mosey around the HS lot and circle up near the top for SSHs, Moroccan Night Clubs, more SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Merkins, Calf Stretches, Glidah Stretches, waving our hands in the air like we just don’t care, and ending with even more SSHs.
A very quick mosey to the curb to really get loose. Line up along the curb for some suicides.
Heart rates in the optimal position, we mosey.
Long mosey to the first alcove on the left of the school for some 7s. Starting with 6 Donkey Kicks and a quick run to the next alcove to do Speed Skaters (2=1). Repeato until finishing with 1 Donkey Kick and 6 Speed Skaters.
Another mosey past the roundabout and towards the back of the school. Another curb. Another lineup. Broad Jump Burpees. Lots of groaning. From one curb to the opposite and back. Burpee with a broad jump instead of jumping straight up. Did I mention the groaning? Fine. Audible. We won’t go back. Instead we started picking cherries. Drive By didn’t see what the big deal was about picking cherries. You’ll see…
So we did a modified version of the Broad Jump Burpees. 2 Broad Jumps, 4 Walking Lunges, and 8 Bear Crawls all the way to the other curb. Pick those cherries, drop’em in a bucket. Do it again. Do another round of Broad Jump, Lunges, and Bear Crawls. Pick more cherries. Drive By started to get the point. It was somewhere around here I was accused of making it up as I went. Maybe the cherries were made up, but they got the job done.
Back to our regularly scheduled weinke…
Mosey back to the roundabout for some Paula Abduls. 2 light poles up, 5 T-Merkins. 1 light pole back, 5 jump squats. Repeato for a few rounds.
Partner exercises: 75 Dips, 75 Step-Ups, and 75 Derkins while the other partner does a half lap. Running low on time so a final little mosey to the trees in the center of the parking lot. 5 Bobby Hurleys at every other tree to the top of the hill. Then a jailbreak to COT.
The Chicken was waiting for us at COT. At some point while we were doing the 7s a law enforcement officer stepped out of the bushes. It was kinda weird. He said hey but mostly ignored us. He was checking all the doors and entrances to the school. Makes me wonder if a half naked Chicken standing in the parking lot is what prompted his arrival. I think that’d disturb anyone…
F3 Dads camp still has a few spots available but prices go up TOMORROW. Sign up fools
Prayers for Johnny Utah’s friend Rick who is dealing with colon cancer
yhc took us out
On your mark, ready, set, let’s go
Parking lot pro, I know you know
I go psycho when 5:30 hits
Just can’t sit
Gotta get Froggy with it
OK, I’ll spare you the rest. 15 dudes. 5:30. DiCCS. You know the drill. No rain during the workout for the second day. I gotta admit, I was a little disappointed. No worries though, there’s plenty of humidity and I’ll get you wet either way (yeah baby!)
Mosey to the north east lot for some standard stuff. SSH, Imperial Walkers, Moroccan Night Clubs, Calf Stretch, Glidah Stretch, 6 inches, 6 inch Plank Jacks
Not sure what you wanna call it: 4 corners, 5 corners, Starfish, Pirate’s Booty…As long as you do it, I don’t care: 5 burpees in the middle, then 20 reps each of Merkins, Squats, Big Bois, Step Ups, and Dips at different “corners” and coming back for 5 burpees after each. On that sweet, sweet Weddington asphalt, who could ask for more?
With that out of the way, mosey onward past the bus lot to the road leading off campus. Quick anecdote: putting together the weinke last night I had it in my head that we were still meeting at New Town Elementary, so the next few exercises were put together with that AO in mind. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your opinion of today’s Q, I remembered the move to Weddington and was able to adapt it to the new AO and actually showed up at the right location.
So at each light pole heading down the road – 1 burpee and 5 jump squats. Swimmers thinks jump squats need a fancier name but didn’t offer one up so we’re stuck with what we’ve got. All that jumping must’ve been some foreshadowing for what was next.
A quick mosey down Twelve Mile Creek Road and back to the “safety” of the school campus road. Pretty quickly discovered we’re just target practice for incoming teachers/faculty. Look out!
Here’s the bulk of the pain right here with the Mark of the Beast: 6 light poles. 6 exercises. 6 reps.
Run to the first pole and do the Merkins then back to the start. Run to the first pole and do Merkins then the second pole and do Big Bois. Repeato in this fashion until all 6 light poles have been reached.
Somewhere along the line Zinfandel and Swimmers learned about the birds and the bees (and the frogs) when we encountered a couple amphibians gettin’ froggy with it. A few pax wanted to stop and stare but we had exercises to do and it didn’t seem polite.
Finally done with that garbage we continued around to the car loop at the middle school and partnered up for the final set of exercises. Partner 1 runs the loop and partner 2 does the exercises, shared of course: 100 wall sit air presses and 100 In and Outs (like the burger joint but less appetizing)
A little more than 2 minutes remaining I considered having us run up the hill on the entrance road but Swimmers suggested heading back to COT and saved me from a (likely) mutiny. Instead we finished with American Hammers and American Knock Outs which was a far better choice.
I’m not sure what the learning curriculum is at Weddington area schools, but some pax got a different sort of “physical education” this morning with the aforementioned frogs. Good ol’ Union County edumacation at it’s finest
Anyone who has been to one of my rainy day Qs knows I’m not afraid to get people wet. That said, today I was hoping the rain would hold off cause I had a plan that would be hampered by a constant deluge. Still, I had a backup weinke in my pocket just in case.
Fortunately, since the rain appeared to be on the way out I was able to go with plan A. Here’s how it unfolded:
I needed us to get to the high school parking lot, so I opted for a moving warmup. Mosey, circle up, Side Straddle Hops. Mosey, circle up, SSH, Imperial Walkers. Mosey, circle up, SSH, Calf Stretch, Glidah Stretch. Mosey, circle up, SSH, Merkins. Mosey, circle up, oh good we’re here.
Move to the middle of the parking lot under the big street lights. The following exercises are written in chalk (hence the need for no precipitation) on the sidewalk, each spaced out about 15 feet:
Hopefully everyone knows the rules to Rock, Paper, Scissors. This is a slightly modifed version where you squat each time you count. So it looks like “Rock” (squat) “Paper” (squat) “Scissors” (squat) “SQUAT!” (squat and throw your choice of weaponry). The loser runs to the sidewalk and completes one of the above exercises then returns to the center. The “winner” stays and plays again against whomever else remains. I put “winner” in quotes because if you “win” several times in a row you start to regret it with all the squats you’re doing. The game continues until all pax have completed all the above exercises. The law of averages prevailed and we all finished at roughly the same time. Whew!
Next, form two single file lines. Everyone knows what’s coming but they’re powerless to resist. Indian Run to the loop in front of the high school. Simple as this exercise may be, it’s regularly flubbed, so I was sure to explain it clearly. Slow jog in the front. SPRINT from the back to the front. Slow jog. Repeato.
In front of the high school, partner up. P1 runs the short lap. P2 does exercises. Switch.
5 minutes remaining. Mosey down the front road to COT. Watch out for the bus. All you got from the stop sign to COT. Heels to Heaven and American Hammers for the remaining 2 minutes
It’s fun to mix things up sometimes. We still got in a good workout but it was just something different to try. There really weren’t any winners with the game because you had to do all 10 exercises anyways. Thanks all for humoring me. I’ll put that one back in the weinke box and bring it out again when you’re least expecting it.
YHC took us out
About a month ago Gerber asked who I had signed up to Q Diesel for today’s date. He had the Swarm Q and wanted to do a mini-convergence between the two sites. I said I’d take the Q (Site Q’s prerogative) and we’d make it happen.
Fast forward to this morning and I’m setting gear out and the cars just keep rolling into Diesel and my mind is spinning trying to figure out whether I have enough stations. I figured between the two sites we’d have 20 pax total. Gerber is texting me telling me they have 6, no 7 at Swarm. No one at Diesel and no one at Swarm has any clue what’s about to go down, so no worries, we’ll figure it out.
5:30 – DiCCS provided. Emphasis on form. Modify as needed, not as desired.
Honestly, between figuring out stations and what gear we’d use, and how we’d pair up, and all the other logistics I hadn’t given any thought to what we’d do to kill time until Swarm arrived. They’re running across the street and I didn’t want to give away what we’d be doing so everything in the warmup was made up on the fly. Apologies if I leave something out…
Side Straddle Hops, Imperial Walkers, more Side Straddle Hops, Merkins, Calf Stretches
Now grab your coupon (or the giant tractor tire) and bring it to the base of Mt. Chiseled.
Sit your gear down and circle up for…
More Side Straddle Hops, Slooooooow Merkins, Big Bois, Super Mans, T-Pose Merkins, Box Cutters, Low Slow Squats, Diamond Merkins, Heels to Heaven and maybe more????
Then, out of the gloom comes a loud whistle (kudos to whoever can whistle like that, it was pretty sweet): Swarm has arrived!
With 16 from Diesel and 8 (I think) from Swarm it wasn’t gonna be exact, but partner up, if possible, with someone from a different AO than you. Stations were laid out as follows:
The timer for these stations varied depending on whether you were a Diesel pax or a Swarm pax. Diesel pax were to Rifle Carry a coupon to the far curb and back. Swarm pax were to run up and over Mt. Chiseled and back around to the front. With about 4 minutes prior to launch I timed both of them to make sure they were roughly equivalent. Originally the goal was to make it more of a competition where the loser had to do 5 burpees, but with the large numbers and commotion of even more pax showing up I completely forgot about it. Oh well.
We made it through 1 round of the above before Swarm had to hit the road. We stopped for a good group picture and then they were gone.
Diesel pax weren’t off the hook though. We continued to push through the stations until a few minutes were left where I forced everyone to carry all the gear back to COT so I didn’t have to pick it all up.
That was a great idea, Gerber! Thanks for putting it out there. It’s a good opportunity for pax that don’t normally see each other to interact and work out together. Fuse Box brought out an FNG from his neighborhood who has already committed to Commitment tomorrow morning so it couldn’t have been too terrible of a workout. With the last name Ledbetter we went down the Pearl Jam route and named him Butter Man. Why not Better Man? Because years ago YHC heard a radio show that had callers name songs they’d misheard lyrics for. One of those was Better Man/Butter Man and now I can’t hear that song without thinking of that. Sorry buddy, but welcome to F3 Waxhaw!
Q Bites – Following Asylum (5:15 to 6:00am) this Monday (7/12) is a discussion on Racism in America. Come prepared to listen and discuss
F3 Dads Camp is coming up! I think there might still be some spots available, but check with Radar for details
Prayers for Magi. His mom passed away yesterday
8 pax at Clemson did some circuit work. Not gonna give the details because it was fun and I plan to unleash it on the pax in the nearish future.
Down here for vacation and discovered Monday’s site is less than 0.5 miles from the AirBNB I’m in. Did a little pre-run to the AO worked out with some dudes and ran back.
Prior to the workout I did a few laps around the track. If there’s ever a time to be wearing a headlamp it was today. Glad I packed mine. Midway around the first lap the beam of my headlamp caught to glowing eyes in the middle of my path about 15 feet ahead. It took me a few steps to register and another few to stop. Good thing I did as the two glowing eyes I thought belonged to a cat instead belonged to a skunk. We stared at each other as I quickly, but not suddenly, reversed directions and ceded the track to him.
I’m glad we didn’t have a closer encounter or I might be sporting a new name upon my return to Waxhaw
2 minutes before start time is when the DiCCS is given. By the Q. Usually. But that requires the Q to post. At the correct site. No worries, we got this.
3 pax at The Lycan got to explore the hills I’d been planning to visit the next time I Qed. Turns out that was this morning. Woohoo!
Mosey to the back of the school, hit the handicap ramp then back up the stairs. Shine your headlamp in the parked car to freak out whoever was sitting in it. SSHs, calf stretches, Glidah stretches, mountain climbers, Merkins.
Mosey down the gravel road past the baseball fields and find the little trail that leads to Hermitage Place neighborhood. They were nice enough to install some light posts around the roughly half mile loop. I needed to figure out what the hills looked like for the next set of exercises so for the first loop alternate 5 Merkins and 10 Squats at the lights. Turns out there’s a few hills in this neighborhood and I found a perfect one right near the entrance. After completing a bit more than one full loop we’re now at the bottom of the newly named Really Bad Idea hill, so we did some 7s: Mike Tysons at the top and Big Bois at the bottom. Yuck.
I promised Dunkin we wouldn’t do that hill again so we took the long way around with a few Merkins, Flutters (2=1, duh), and Walking Lunges thrown in for fun. Back out of the neighborhood and to the bleachers between the ball fields. Dips and Step-Ups. 30/20, then 20/10, then 15/5. Over to the playground. I used the excuse that the monkey bars were too wet so we could avoid doing pull-ups. Instead we headed to the swings to do some Swerkins. 10 OYO. Up the grass hill to the wall of the school for some “Chastain’s a Jackass”. 10 Donkey Kicks with a 10 second hold at the top. We worked our way down to 5 DKs and a 5 second hold before tapping out and moseying to the front of the school. With a few minutes left, some nicely numbered parking spots, and some suggestions from Gerber and Dunkin we did (in cadence) 9 Heels to Heaven, 8 Box Cutters, 7 American Hammers, 6 somethings, 5 Burpees, 4 Bomb Jacks, 3 of another thing, 2 things I don’t remember, and 1 Mike Tyson.
A final mosey back to COT and 30 seconds of Squats to finish us out.
The Lycan is a good site. Plenty of options with parking lots, playground equipment, neighborhoods, hills, and easy access to the offerings of the Floater. If you haven’t checked it out you definitely should. Get out of your normal routine and try something new. It won’t hurt (much).
Sounds like a virtual workout but it wasn’t. I assure you it was quite physical. “What could be more humid? How about if we workout inside a cloud?” Gerber was right. We had a foggy morning and it was nasty. The great part about these muggy mornings is you really feel like your money’s worth.
7 guys for Homecoming. DiCCS provided and were off. A nice warm up Mosey up the entrance road hill with some stretches and such at the top. Down to the bottom for a couple of hill repeats. 10 Merkins at the top and 10 Dry Docks at the bottom. Repeato.
Partner time. We don’t get enough ab work on the regular. I was aiming to fix that. 150 Big Bois, 150 Flutters (2=1), 150 and In and Outs. Partners alternate running the loop.
Mosey to the elementary school side. At each of the numbered columns, starting with 8, do burpees then run a loop, working your way down to 1. Instant whining from the pax. Apparently Chatterbox just did this on Tuesday. Yeah, but I’m nicer and we started at 8 and work our way DOWN so it gets easier as you go. More whining. Fine. Audible to only the even numbers.
Apparently not all the pax heard the audible so a few got some extra burpees. You’re welcome.
Mosey to the lot near the playground and grab a lifting rock. Take it to the curb.
It was here that I decided to rename Fuse Box to reFuse Box. It’s one thing to modify as needed or even Q Jack. You get a name change (unofficial) when you blatantly reFuse to follow instructions.
My first thought was to shame him into compliance but quickly realized he has no shame. Instead I decided we’d run more. I know he enjoys that. For unknown reasons the playground is now entirely fenced off. So instead we headed through the trails in a big loop that lead us right back out to the parking lot we started in. Oh well…
We still need to get to the other side of the playground so we made a big detour around the fences to the road. 5 Merkins at each light pole (4 total poles) until we’re at the basketball goals.
Mosey to the sidewalk for the last round of exercises.
Mosey back to COT for a couple Box Cutters and then 30 seconds of Have a Nice Day.
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member” –
Groucho Marx reFuse Box
So reFuse Box knows what he’s doing with his reFusenik behavior. He knows that he can mess with me and I’ll put up with it. What he ALSO knows, and for the life of me I’m not sure why he’d choose MY Q to play this game, is that I have a compromising photo of him…
F3 Dads – Every Saturday from 9:00-9:45 – Bring your kids, boys and girls, and have some good quality time with them
Blood Drive – Saturday June 19th at 5 Stones from 9:00-1:30. Sign up NOW
Homecoming is looking for Qs. Get off your butt and Q something
YHC took us out
When did it become Swarm and not THE Swarm? I feel like that’s a critical distinction that it’s not just any old Swarm and rather it’s the one everyone should be talking about. Afterwards, of course, because with the humidity at 1000% it felt like we were breathing through a straw so it wasn’t a day for mumblechatter. Unless, of course, you count the book club going on during the warmup portion of the exercise with a couple of chatterboxes (not THE Chatterbox, who posted at Impromptu) going on about who knows what.
So let’s get down to it. We did a warmup lap around the IPC 400 loop with some Side Straddle Hops, Imperial Walkers, stretches, and plankjacks. That’s when the aforementioned book club was going on. As the QIC for the premier hour long Friday morning Waxhaw bootcamp I took offense
Back to COT and down the Path to the Palace. Paula Abdul style. 10 Merkins and 10 Squats at the light poles on the way down.
Silence is golden.
People’s chair and 50 air presses on the shed then mosey up past the traffic circle and over to the triangular area near Geeb’s Jungle. Find yourself a partner on the way.
Collectively, you and your partner are now responsible for 150 Mike Tysons, 150 Flutters (2=1 duh), and 150 Step-Ups (as in, 150 times off the ground. I don’t know how you count 2=1 for those) and to ensure we get some good mileage in you get to alternate running around the circle and back.
Now, ditch your old partner and find a shiny new one
This next part was a terrible idea from the beginning but mama didn’t raise no quitter¹ so we did it anyways.
Partner 1 BEAR CRAWLS around the Jungle while Partner 2 runs the opposite direction around. When you meet up, swap places and continue until you complete the full bear crawl lap.
So I had planned to do a full bear crawl lap
Instead, repeato until both partners have bear crawled and run twice. That was good enough for about half a lap around the jungle.
So now we’re at the high school parking lot and there’s still 20 freaking minutes left. Time for a little Aggressive Corners. Now I know it’s Progressive Corners, but I feel that Aggressive is much more fitting of a name.
So you basically add a new corner each time you run back. Only doing the exercises on the clockwise direction. Have you ever tried to breathe through one of those little plastic coffee stirrers? I don’t know why you would but that’s what I imagine it would feel like.
Getting low on time so we mosey to the alcove on the high school and do a Chastain Classic™
10 Donkey Kicks on the wall followed by a 10 second hold. Repeato with 9 DKs and a 9 second hold all the way to 5. Running low on time so recover.
Indian Run back to COT. It’s always a crapshoot with Indian Runs. Sometimes you get guys who refuse to sprint to the front. Other times you get get guys *cough* Ice9 *cough* who sprint the whole time. Fortunately, everyone was on their best behavior and we did probably the best Indian Run that’s ever been ran.
Upon arriving at COT, Transporter led Impromptu/Swarm in American Hammers. I think we hit close to 400 or something
Ricky Boobie took us out
¹ – This was determined to be a lie
Who needs enemies when you have friends like these, right Chicken Little?
Yesterday morning following WXW Express I told the Chicken I’d go to Prickle and Goo with him and break his broga cherry. Less than 30 minutes later and I’d committed to substi-Qing Cowbell for an injured Bluescreen. So when Gerber does his afternoon marketing for the Cowbell I get a from Chicken.
So now I’ve gotta come up with something to cure the fever
In my head I’d been rolling around the ideas of some station work, similar to what we’ve done regularly at Diesel. Only this time we’d throw some sprints in there because who doesn’t love a good sprint?
Starting with a long mosey around the Target parking lot I informed the PAX this was the slowest they’d be allowed to run the rest of the morning. I felt a little bad for Chicken Little missing out on Prickle and Goo so we warmed up with a few stretches to give him an idea of what he missed. See GroupMe for how he REALLY feels about his choice to attend Cowbell.
So here’s The Thang. There are 4 rows in the PetSmart parking lot so we divided (roughly) evenly between each one. Card at each lane included instructions. Do the exercises then grab your kettlebell and shift down one lane until you’ve done all 4. Upon completion run a lap until the 6 is in.
|Lane 1||Lane 2||Lane 3||Lane 4|
|30 Squat Thrusters||30 Chest Presses||30 Curl to Press||30 Kettlebell Swings|
|20 Walking Lunges||20 Walking Lunges||20 Walking Lunges||20 Walking Lunges|
|10 Merkins||10 Merkins||10 Merkins||10 Merkins|
|Curb and back sprint||Curb and back sprint||Curb and back sprint||Curb and back sprint|
It was such a hit! Everyone was so excited when I told them there was another card with a second round of exercises listed
|Lane 1||Lane 2||Lane 3||Lane 4|
|30 Flutter/Chest Press||30 Plank Pull Throughs||30 Single Arm Press (each arm)||30 Goblet Squats|
|20 Bonnie Blairs||20 Bonnie Blairs||20 Bonnie Blairs||20 Bonnie Blairs|
|5 Burpees||5 Burpees||5 Burpees||5 Burpees|
|Around the lot sprint||Around the lot sprint||Around the lot sprint||Around the lot sprint|
A couple notes on round 2:
So with 6 or so minutes remaining I called a huddle with some Squat Thrusters followed by submissions from the PAX, including Chest Presses, Big Bois, LBCs, Merkins, and Curls.
A few months ago I attended Cowbell for the first time. The following week Chicken Little asked me how it went and I described it thusly: When you’re lifting you wish you were running and when you’re running you wish you were lifting. I think that’s how you know you got a good workout is when all parts are equally terrible. To tell the truth, I was a little nervous putting this one together. After the beating Bottlecap gave us last week, the last thing I wanted to was to come in with too easy of a workout. Judging by the death threats I’ve gotten, I think I’m clear in that respect.
Regardless, I knew it was all worth it when Ice 9 told me I was #1 while driving out of the parking lot