Starrcade 2019 – Cerberus Edition

Starrcade 2019 – Cerberus Edition

15 PAX celebrated the summer solstice and longest day of the year bright and early with the most confusing site name in the region and perhaps the most confusing line-up of exercises they’ve seen in a while.

WARM-UP

Mosey through the Whole Wallet parking lot, mixing in some alternating side shuffles with the mosey, circling up in the back employee lot.

• Imperial Walker x 20 IC
• Seal Jacks x 20 IC
• Mountain Climbers x 20 IC
• Windmill x 20 IC

THE THANG

Mosey straight to the parking garage and jump the wall to get into the lowest level of the garage.

• Choose a stairwell and do 5 calf raises on each step, alternating the toes facing forward, outward and inward, and go up one flight of stairs.
• Exit the stairwell for a lap on that level of the garage and add 5 hand-release merkins.
• Repeat to the top for 3 flights of stairs.

Mosey back down 2 levels of the garage, jumping and slapping every other crossbeam above the down-ramp area of the garage.

10 pistol crunches per leg and then mosey back up to the top of the garage using shortcuts of cutting through the gaps in the walls and climbing the metal cable railings. 10 more pistol crunches per leg on the flats.

Top Rope Challenge – At the top of the deck, 1 burpee then cross to the other side of the deck for 5 Supermans. Return for 2 burpees and then cross again for 10 Supermans. Repeat with 3 and 15. Highly encouraged to go straight across, climbing the cable railings between exercises.

3-Man Tag Team – Mosey down to the Haagen-Daz area, gather in threesomes. Two PAX get in plank beside each other while the other puts feet on the short wall, and one hand on the back of each team member for 10x merkins. When done, the merkin-er runs a timer lap while the other two do dips. Switch up and give each PAX the time for merkins.

Return to COT with 7x Flying Sun Gods per leg to finish out.

MOLESKINE

YHC hasn’t watched wrasslin’ in many years, but much of the joy of watching the NWA on the SuperStation TBS as a child was the creativity of the matches. The most memorable of the creative matches was the scaffold match that pitted the Road Warriors vs. the Midnight Express at Starrcade 1986 which culminated in Jim Cornette dropping from the scaffolding and mauling his leg.

YHC wanted to have some creative fun to kick off summer and the longest day of the year, but he was also still suffering from his own stupid ideas Q’ing Dromedary two days prior and did not want to end up like Jim Cornette. That fun came through attacking the parking garage in new and different ways that elicited mumblechatter, some revolt and an open call for a Q-jack at one point.

The initial wall climb into the garage was a nice twist on using open space to enter an area. The calf-raise ascent of the stairwell was possibly the slowest ascent ever and quite painful. Descending the ramps and seeing others jumping to slap the crossbeams was pretty entertaining. Climbing through the wall gaps to go back up was initially cumbersome, but it prepared the PAX for the full-bore assault on the braided-cable railings at the top.

For some reason, Job is not well-versed in mid-1980s southern regional professional wrestling, but he easily got the hang of climbing the cable railing. There was minimal flying from the top rope, but some PAX did get creative with that, though YHC heard no Ric Flair-esque cries of “Woooooooo!!!!!” If one looks down from the top level through the gaps and ropes, it’s quite a descent but all PAX stayed safely within the ropes of the squared circle. The 3-man tag team effort was chaos, but those matches always are — metal chairs were moved around on the concrete, but fortunately, Gumbo and Billy Goat didn’t get angry enough to throw them.

For historical reference: https://www.wwe.com/videos/jim-cornette-falls-from-the-scaffold-wcw-starrcade-1986

ANNOUNCEMENT

Fixing it for Christ service project this weekend in Waxhaw.  It’s a great opportunity to serve the community and you can learn more on Slack (via Jingles) or at www.FixingItForChrist.com.