About a week ago a number of men larger than ten but smaller than twenty gathered at Hydra for a workout that still starts at the reasonable hour of 6 am. We’re going to say 13 because I’m reasonable sure that is actually correct, but can’t be bothered to check Slack. This backblast is woefully tardy so some of the details may be a bit hazy, but that’s how some of life’s best stories typically go, with details shrouded in mystery due to the passage of time or injection of intoxicants. Anyway, here’s my best recollection of the morning:
Short run to the other parking lot for COP, probably SSH, Imperial Walkers, and mountain climbers probably done by about 75% of the group. Run to the rock pile at the church across the street. Three sets of Sots presses and overhead squats. Only a handful of people tried the Sots presses, which is disappointing and you people definitely need to broaden your strength building horizons. Run over to the empty field between the mini playground and the baseball fields. Iron Horse inspired merkin/squat/LBC ladder starting with 20 reps then run down the other end for 18, run back for 16, etc. all the way down to 2. The ladder structure is still terrible, think Notre Dame in the College Football Playoff level terrible. Run to the football field and gather in the end zone. I wondered why nobody used the football field anymore, and as we were about to start the next complex Spackler warned me that it was full of burrs. Being Spackler, I didn’t listen and brushed it off instructing the group to lunge walk to midfield, drop for 10 merkins, then sprint to the end zone. After lunge walking to midfiled I dropped to perform said merkins, and immediately felt sharp pains in both hands as they were covered in burrs. I should have listened to Spackler, apologies. There were a few rounds of this, just banking the merkins for later. After the last sprint, run to the bleachers and tables by the concession stand for 100 dips and 100 incline merkins, plus the 30 or so regular merkins carried over from the football field. Run back to launch lot for some concluding Mary.
There is a good reason for the extreme delay in publishing this backblast. Actually there is not. I don’t like typing these on the iPad, and I don’t like using my work computer, so I’m left with an ancient laptop from circa 2012 that is slower than the service at restaurants these days due to the worker shortage. Except Chic-Fil-A of course, they remain on their game, doling out sandwiches and nuggets with a side of “My Pleasure” with efficiency that would make Germans proud. As an aside, my record for getting them to say “My Pleasure” during a transaction is 5. Yes, I’m a basically a child. On to the news and notes of the morning. Most of the regular crew was there except for Gloss, who was leading a workout that I’m not sure actually exists. Clover was not there either, having followed Gloss to the mystery workout in some neighborhood that probably doesn’t show up on GPS apps. The burrs football field are no joke, when I hit the deck my hands were filled a searing pain. I imagine the pain is similar to that of parents whose children Auburn University (previously known as Alabama Polytechnic Institute and East Alabama Male College). Hops wasn’t there either, so he avoided the japes regarding animal husbandry and bad football prevalent in Lee County, Alabama. That’s about all I can remember, again, please forgive the tardiness. I’m sure tomorrow’s Hydra Q will prepare his backblast in a more timely fashion.
4 was the magic number this am for a little ruckity-ruck at SACS. YHC pulled up and surprised the fellas with a 40 foot one eyed monster that could have choked a donkey and made Dirk Diggler proud.
Grab my hose and mosey on down to the track. We took turns yanking and pulling all the way around the track for close to 2 miles in 45ish minutes. Needless to say we were all a little tuckered after this workout. You might even believe that some naughty talk originated from CC’s face-hole. Why wouldn’t it? We’re middle aged men and still have the maturity level of teenagers.
We encountered the elusive TigerBall in the wild. The shirtless and clothed alike put down some track miles followed by a spirited frolic through the woods to Davie and back to where ever they came from. When asked if they wanted to grab our hose and join in the good living, they graciously declined. They may have said, “Good work” after we knocked out a 400 in under 2:00 with all four of us manning the wretched hose while looking like some version of the human centipede.
Quote of the morning goes to Geraldo. “This feels unnatural”, with regard to dragging the hose while bear crawling and receiving a little oil check from said hose. Dirty little bugger. Glad he went last with that maneuver as he said, “No more for me”. Understandable.
Wild Turkey gets the “enthusiasm” award for this morning as I think he was the most happy lugging that awkward pile of firehose around. Also, “best hair”. Let your soul shine through.
Cheese Curd gets the “bounceback” medal as he seemed to get stronger throughout the workout. He can add that to his WTF race win. #YoureWelcome
Kuddos to the guys for embracing my shenanigans. What I lack in complexity I make up for in on the spot creativity.
Announcements: Sign up for CLT GrowRuck – it will be fun and already has 50 fellas looking forward to a classic F3 CSAUP weekend.
8 pax showed up at Calvary this morning at 0530 or earlier. Unfortunately, one of them was not Frehley’s Comet, who had agreed/been voluntold to Q. He even confirmed with me that I meant this week, not next. Considering his advanced age and his Qs on Friday and Tuesday, I assumed he fell asleep in his ice bath the night before and thought about calling paramedics to his house, but I have no idea where he lives, so we decided to proceed with the workout instead. The pax were properly disclaimed with an ironclad warning not to do anything stupid and then we got started.
Warm up:
Main Thang:
Done. Thanks for the takeout in COT, Urlacher
Announcements:
Moleskine:
13 pax arrived at Calvary’s parking lot ignoring the threat of rain and the Q’s lack of alternative plans for rain. Started by running to the parking lot near the hot box for a warm-up, 15 each, of side straddle hops, imperial walkers, low slow squats, mountain climbers, and peter parker’s. From there to the hot box for 20 step ups. Then off for a circular adventure, running west on 51 to Elm, for 20 merkins. From there south on Elm to the first right entry road for 20 jump squats. Then continued south on Elm to a set of rock piles off the sidewalk for 20 curls and thrusters. Apologies to the ant colony I disrupted with my rock pick. On to the Elm/Bevington intersection for another 20 merkins, followed by entry onto the Four Mile Creek Greenway. Heading east we sought benches for another 20 step ups. Several modified/ignored the step ups not being able to find a bench in the dark woods. Rudolph’s, aka Circuit City, red foot light did not help with that. On to the parking lot of the Greenway to another rock pile for the 2nd round of 20 curls and thrusters. Crossed Bevington where apparently yielding to pedestrians is optional if you’re turning left from Rea Rd, for merkins until the light changed to cross Rea and head north on the sidewalk back to Calvary. Arrived at Calvary with way too much time left for the remaining work out plan of 20 jump squats and another set of rock curls and thrusters. So on to the hot box for 20 more step ups, and then zig zagged through the parking lot adding in more merkins and several Mary’s and an illegal (according to Mermaid) venture down and back up entrance 4 with 2 burpees at the top and bottom, to kill time. Finished at start with more Mary’s and a plank. Closed with prayer which I should have scripted vs trying to ad lib it. Total mileage as reported by Hopper was just over 3 miles.
7 pax showed up at the Arboretum for another episode of Fast Twitch. I spent the previous night trying to plan a route that would include the hill on Providence, Windbluff, the Coburn half-pipe, and allow for pax to cut it off at a couple of points if they needed to get back to the start by 6:15. I’m not patient enough or good enough at route planning to make that happen, so I decided to do the Mermaid Challenge.
For those not familiar (sorry, Airwolf), the Mermaid Challenge was introduced when Fast Twitch met down 51 at South Charlotte Middle School. It involves running down 51 to Charlotte Catholic High School, running to the top of the parking deck (affectionately known as Tartarus), and running back. Complete that in 1 hour and you’ve completed the Mermaid Challenge.
I had attempted the challenge once or twice before from SCMS and I don’t think I ever got past Carmel Road. It would be more challenging from the Arboretum, but we decided to give it a shot. Run down 51 for 30 minutes, then turn around and run back. No one made it to the top of Tartarus, but a couple made it to the entrance of CCHS, which is about 3.86 miles one way.
Everyone worked hard out there and put in a solid hour of running. Everyone except Alf, who didn’t want to test his unblemished record of sphincter integrity and pulled up a little shart short.
Announcements:
Moleskine:
11 Pax posted.
11 Pax stretched.
11 Pax listened to announcements.
11 Pax posed for a pic.
7 men gathered on a rainy start to the week at the covered section of McAlpine Elementary Invue Parking Lot to get Swole on a Monday.
Pax diligently showed up at 0530 to McAlipne Elementary but no one wanted to swing hard iron in the rain so Voodoo made the call to relocate to InVue (they have his phone number anyway when they call to complain about a bunch of middle-ish aged men standing around the parking lot before working hours). Pax found shelter by the Comet Pizza Riccio’s Italian Restaurant and proceeded to follow YHC’s instructions. That might have been their first mistake.
Site Q, Mighty Mite, was not present sporting some kind of shoulder injury. Hopefully it’s nothing serious. Which, as anyone who’s had a shoulder injury can attest, is more restrictive than hobbling around in a plastic boot. Speaking of, being in a boot limits the exercises one can do (no squats, no lunges, bad merkin form, getting off the floor from doing anything Mary related requires a team of clydesdales) so YHC made the best of it and channeled some upcoming Functional Strength Challenge material into the weinke.
Here’s what went down:
25 two handed-swings
IW
Sharon Towers
25 two handed-swings
10 sets of 4 DBL Clean and Press
Single Side Jack Webb Snatch and Swing Pyramid: Stay on L side increasing reps, Switch to R side decreasing reps
1,04 then 2,08 then 3,12 then 4,16 then 5,20 start at the top and go back to 1,04
Pyramid:
2/4/6/8/10 Double Deadlift, Double High Pulls
8/6/4/2 Single Side Lawnmower, Single Side Snatch
Carries:
30 seconds OH hold
30 seconds racked hold
30 second suitcase hold
30 seconds rest
Rinse and repeat on the other side
Moldskine:
Technology fail. YHC had spent some time the night before setting up the timer on the phone. The timer was all FUBAR in the AM. As for the playlist, YHC delivered a strong disclaimer that included something to the effect of anyone talking smack on Jimi Hendrix was going to get a kettlebell to the face. That seemed to quiet everyone down. No fists were thrown and no one was butt-hurt over their favorite band being called out as worse than the Foo Fighters.
There was plenty of reason to complain though. This was a tough weinke. The Jack Webb was rough enough, the pyramid was rougher. Not sure if YHC will ever be invited back to Q. Who are we kidding, of course YHC will be back.
One other thing, Frehley’s Comet is full of hot air. Voodoo might be vaccinated for Covid-19 but pretty sure whatever forcefully exited Frehley’s system on Monday killed the vaccine.
It might also be the cure for Covid.
Announcments:
Thanks to Wild Turkey for the takeout
Until next time, SYITG
Busy day lets keep this short and sweet. Thirteen Pax joined me at Bushwood this morning for a little fun in the gloom. As 5:28 rolled around started the DiCCS asked if there were any requests, and at 5:30 One Star arrived and we took off. Yep no Weinke so lets wing it.
We started with a Mosey to the large parking lot for some warmup consisting of SSH, Merkins, stretching, and Mountain climbers. From there we Moseyed to Turkey Hunt Ct, for 10 Dry Docks on the way down each mailbox, and 10 squats on the way back stopping at each mailbox on the right. While waiting for the 6 Burpees were completed. From there a Mosey to Red Twig for 11s, 1 Lunge and 10 Big Boys. I don’t think Red Twig is much shorter than Turkey Hunt incase you were wondering. With 15 min to go we Moseyed back to the rock pile for a lifting rock. The Pax completed 54 Curls, 27 Tris, 9 Squat Press, 27 Rows, and 18 Presses with a lap around the bus parking lot after every other exercise. We returned the rocks with enough time for the wall. We completed 9 balls to the wall Shoulder Taps, 18 Donkey Kicks, 36 Jabs, and 72 Air Press. From there we headed back to COT.
Everyone pushed hard, Big Ben continued his rehab but would not let that stop him. He completed his own grueling beatdown while we moseyed.
Christ Closet giveaway this Saturday from 9 – 1
Memorial Day the Murph returns to Waxhaw
Bushwood and Last Call need Qs, step up or they will assign you a week.
Warm Up – Mosey .7 mile (around circle, up to Kensington Dr., back to COT, to back of school). Jimmy Dugans, calf stretch, upward dog, downward dog, runners stretch, Moroccan nightclubs.
The Thang – Groups of 3. P1 and P2 stand at opposite ends of playground, each doing reps of called exercise. P3 runs from P1 to P2, takes over reps from P2, P2 runs to P1, etc. As a team do: 300 Merkins, 500 300 Squats.
Next Round, same groups, different exercises and RUN BACKWARDS, 300 Supines or pullups, 300 big boy situps.
Mosey to Rock Pile. Pair up. P1 runs back up to chain link by playground entrance, P2 does exercise. 300 curls and 100 overhead presses as a team.
Mosey to soccer field. Suicides – first light, second bench, third bench, far goal line and back.
COT.
Prayers for Premature on upcoming prostrate cancer screening. Thanks to Premature for opening up about your story. 5/17 convergence at Asylum for Mental Health Month – Guest Speaker after beatdown. Saturday 5/15 Christ Closet giveaway and folding party, 9am, bring the whole family, friends, lots of good work to be done, we need your help.
YHC took us out.