Author Archive Hollywood

Deja Vu, Waxhaw Baby!

10 came out to do basically the same thing that was completed last week.   I should write this is some sort of weird poem that you would have to try and decipher but I don’t have that talent unfortunately.

Warm Up:

Mosey to Cox Law Firm, PLLC.   All IC-Mountain climbers x 15, Plank Jacks x14, peter parkers x13; Merkins x10, CDD’s x10, Parker Peters x7


From there, run up Providence to CVS. At every third light, 8 Merkins.  CVS-we kept going to Autozone. Low slow squats x15 IC, Jump squats x20 IC

Main Event: 

Keep moving to Providence Farms Halfpipe Hill, newly paved for some unknown reason

We stopped at the bottom, small hill on one end and large hill on the other end.  .25 miles end to end

Run up the hill, 15 Bomb Jacks, back down and at other end, 15 HR Merkins, in the middle, 20 Monkey Humpers.   We repeated this 3 times.


Back down Providence, stop at CVS for some quick mary, at every light until Cox Law Firm, 8 jump squats

Cross the street. Merkins x5IC, wide arm x5 IC, stagger R x5IC, stagger L x5IC. Then go up Keith Jong Hill

To half wall, 8 mike tysons, 24 shoulder taps feet on wall-Then repeat.




When Bottlecap and Moneyball started Floater they had dreams of this being the premier 45 minute workout in all of Waxhaw , thought it would be fun to dodge cars knowing that an increase in traffic was forthcoming due to the surge in people moving to Waxhaw  , foresaw a huge increase in FNGs due to the visibility factor of the workout , always wanted to start a site and design a flag based on poop , couldn’t wait to have a convergence so we can have all of the sob’s drive down and complain how far it was , torture people by requiring a backblast and then heckling them by 1pm if it’s not ready, wanted to do anything but go to Cool Runnings on Thursdays (RIP).

Truthfully I have no idea but it was likely some combination including at least one of the above.  Despite the change in some of the PAX over the years, to me it has definitely maintained it’s standing as our most unique and diverse location with a variety of things to do.    Due to the lack of hills and most other sites in The Haw, it pains me to not use at least one of the now 4 (there are more out there) good size hills close to the Water Tower.  So not knowing Ice 9 did almost the exact same workout last week, that’s what we did.  So much to do and I do the same thing.  Dang.    Half Pipe hill is a beast.  Speaking of Halfpipe, my first skateboard was a Vision Gator.  Oof.  Still in prison.      Form was impeccable as always, especially the monkey humpers.  Despite the distance traveled, there was little wait for the 6.  Baio, Ice 9 and Glidah killed the hills.    Good push from Surge and Twinkle Toes not too far behind.  Rockwell wished he brought his bike.  Maddog used to be an early regular at Ignition, now he picks his spots with the running workouts.  Radar knew what he was walking into and took on the challenge head on.  Great push.   Thanks to the support from all of my former Briarcrest neighbors.

Mash crew of Bunyan, Recalculating, Penalty Box and FNG McGruff broke the 4-person world record for block jump squat thruster presses while talking about inflation.

FNG Andy, now known as McGruff, works for Wells Fargo in their Crime department-Recalculating with the name choice, Ice 9 was a close second with Nice Guy



Dads Camp Aug 20-22  See Radar for details and sign up

Prayers for Twinkle Toes M and family-having a biopsy next month

We Don’t Stop, the Body Shop

7 non-Lawsonians and Briarcrestians joined me for a sweat filled morning.


mosey to other side of parking lot; Plank, 15 plank jacks IC, 15 Mountain climbers IC, 15 peter parkers IC, 10 merkins IC, 10 CDD IC, 10 parker peters IC, 10 wide arm merkins IC


at parking lot wall: 40 donkey kicks, 30 shoulder taps, 20 jump squats, 10 mike tysons; then run to first light pole, back to start remove donkey kicks and continue, to second light pole; continued until we hit all 4 poles

Heels to Heaven x20 IC, LBC x15 IC, Dolly x10 IC, flutter x10 IC

To other side of lot:  pair up, 1 partner does pull ups, timer is other partner doing 40 donkey kicks; repeat until complete each three times

To other side of lot: Bear crawl across lot, 10 merkins, back to start then 9 merkins, etc down to 6

break to complete Mary; then finish bar crawls with merkins 5 to 1

To other side of lot: suicides-2x -at each line 10 CDD’s, at start 10 jump squats-total of 4 lines each time


Threw in a little pump fake by asking where the rocks were and not using them.  Rea View has small rocks.  That’s it.

Thanks to Das Boot for the invite to a site I do not get to and PAX I don’t normally work out with. I think they all expected a lot more running but kept it to under 1.75 for a change in the regular routine.   They are all coming to Ignition on Monday though as they felt cheated with the mileage.

Das Boot-holding it down for North Waxhaw. Was disappointed that I didn’t throw in some weird exicon move like Bizarro or Bolt 45s (scoured the B section)

Chipotle-broke out the khaki shorts, must of thought today was Bushwood . Speaking of Bill Murray, there is an exercise named after him in the exicon.  I think some people are trying a bit too hard.

Bill Murray-Same as Sheldon Cooper, but instead of decreasing reps after

each run, you do 10 merkins, 10 squats, 10 BBSU, and 10 burpees each time.

After the 3rd or 4th round, one of the PAX said he felt like he was in

‘Groundhog Day.’ That is what led us to Bill Murray for the name

Big Tuna-shunned Chipotle all morning, not 100% but I’m fairly confident these guys don’t like each other and don’t talk much

Bunyan-By himself on the MASH crew, he said he did 350 block shoulder presses in 2 minutes.   F3 Hartsville where you at?

Noonan –No relation to Foundation.  Also, was disgusted during his shining moment of bear crawling when he noticed the Q stopping 10 seconds after stating “try not to stop”

Jwow- Killing it, out front all morning.  Said he went to Body Shop rather than Floater as he felt this was going to be an easier workout (or because he was afraid to get maimed crossing the street) 🙁  He was right :((

Honeycomb– Something to work on, he was only smiling like 97% of the workout.  Only said “good job” and “thanks” like 10 times this morning.

Announcements: YHC took us out





Monday Aggression

Warm Up Thang1:

Ran to the nice wood benches behind the HS; did 50 dips feet on benches


-To the shed; 25 Mike Tysons

-To the circle bottom; run up 5 streetlights, first then back, second then back, etc. ; at every light 10 merkins, at starting point 10 CDDs

-Back to the shed-10 Mike Tysons

-To the yellow brick road rock pile; 10 shoulder presses IC, 10 goblet squats IC, 10 thrusters IC; 10 curls IC;  Then repeat

On through Lawson shortcut-at every light on left, 10 merkins, at right 10 jump squats; this was done to the pool;

-To bottom of This Is Ignition; 30 Heels to Heaven at Bottom, 10 flutters/10 American hammers at top; did this 4 times getting progressively shortly on the runs down;

Back to shortcut entrance; alternated sprinting and jogging between light poles

Back to rock pile-10 shoulder presses IC, 10 goblet squats IC, 10 thrusters IC; 10 curls IC;  Then repeat

To start-15 Mike Tysons, then run lap around lot.



#1-Ignition’s marketing team went on a non-approved vacation this weekend and will be terminated upon their return by the Ignition CEO and Board.   The new marketing rep, if ever hired due to ongoing budget cuts, will vow to do better and look to attract some new men to the fold.

#2-Easy Button out of the gate immediately taking shots at the lack of a proper Group Me preblast.  See above.   And after the workout almost saw him throw his new shoes away after realizing that they didn’t make him any faster.  #falseadvertising  #sketchersforlife

#3-Ice 9 thought it was a bit aggressive to start off with 50 dips as the warm up.  Since I no longer do warmups, his comment was ignored.  He also broke unwritten rule #6 as he tried to explain proper form all while on the This is Ignition hill.   Save that for The Floater.

#4-Rubbermaid gives blood, sits in the sun all day, then shows up to run fast knowing that he was going to get fogged up glasses and sweat out whatever energy he had left in him. Brave and reckless at the same time, perfect.


Bushwood and Blackhawk running full court press on their workouts this week

Pursuing those hills

Wasn’t sure how to avoid hills since you are either going up or down hills the entire time at this site.  So YHC decided to embrace it and we attempted to go up one of the less forgiving ones a few times.  Mixing up speeds if possible.

It sucked and they all hated it.  We tracked some miles though which is what we all came to do anyway.



PaperJam–Not a fan of the hills despite moving to a neighborhood with all hills

Deflated–Great taste in music, despite repping the wrong coast

Ghosted–Hills make him poop

Rubbermaid–If you ever need a sign up for running far for no reason, he’s interested

Foundation-After today, swore off all marathons until 2022  2024


Contact PaperJam for a fun camping trip with your 2.0 end of month;

F3 dads open as well

Sweaty Bells

Tad bit humid out there but 7 didn’t care and came prepared to swear to work hard in the thick air



Circle up-100 swings, 2 and 1 handed; mixed in some running with small sprints, 20ish presses, 40ish merkins, 20ish thrusters. All either in cadence or on my up.  I forget.


In Petsmart parking lot, rifle carry bell to first line, 10 renegade rows, 10 merkins.   Run back to start, on way back pick up bell and rifle carry to next line.  20 push press on back, 10 merkins.  Run back to start grab bell and carry to next line.  30 presses, 15 each arm. 10 merkins. Run back to start pick up bell and to 4th line.  40 swings, 10 merkins.  Back to start, grab bell and head back same way we came, 30, 20, 10.  Lunges with bells instead of carry.

15 minutes left-Back to circle-In sets of 20, did at least 100 more swings, 40 curls, more plank rows, upright rows, merkins, thrusters, goblet squats.  Basically anything I could think of.  Mixed in some express type running, throwing in sprints. Did this until time was up.


Tried to have the tunes working today but either it was not loud enough or I was too busy trying to breathe and count that I couldn’t hear as well as I wanted.  Cause that playlist was fire. Obviously classic rock and for the future all other types of music (non-rock) should be banned from a kettlebell workout.

Workout doesn’t look that hard after typing it out and maybe it was the humidity or the counting, but I think everyone got their money’s worth.  Heart rate up/mileage pretty low.  As has been stated before, Cowbell is a challenging and unique change of pace from most of the other Waxhaw workouts.   Guys crushed it.  If anything, YHC was slowing them down with the exercise call outs.   Hard to hide when you’re standing in a circle staring at each other for 50% of the workout.

Plus, with Hurry, Tool Time and Gerber joining past residents Fuse Box, Nails and myself,  Briarcrest comprised 75% of the workout group today.  Must be the detour.  Poor Glidah and Blue Screen tried to join in on the lot size comparison discussion, but were shunned.  I think I also realized that Gerber’s phone has a special Cowbell sunrise filter that makes everyone look like they have a six pack in the picture.  And I’ve seen pictures from Flash/Ignition and Impromptu/Swarm so I know it’s not a filter he uses regularly.

Until next time…


Monday Convengence -1776 6:30am

Dad’s Camp-sign ups still needed

Can It Be All So Simple?

6 of the best PAX in Waxhaw joined me in the swarm with elbow pads ready for some Ndiayes.  🙁


Skipped, no time as there was only 59 minutes left


Run to bus driver lady’s shed

  1. Up the path to first light, 5 mountain climbers, back to start 10 plank jacks, next light 15 MCs, start 20 planks, next light 25 mcs, start 30 PJs, then sprint to end of path

to benches behind ms-6 inch peter parkers x10 IC, 6 inch plank jacks x10IC

  1. to bottom of circle past busses; 5 merkins, back to start 10 CDDs, next light 15 merkins, start 20 CDDs, next light 25 merkins, start 30 CDDs, then sprint to end of street

to steps-50 donkey kicks, 20 heels to heaven, 40 donkey kicks, 15 heels to heaven, 30 donkey kicks

  1. to hill-at top 5 shoulder taps feet on fence, bottom 10 jump squats, 15 taps, 20 jump sq, 25 taps, 30 jumps, then run

to benches-dips, feet on bench-50, then 40 then 30, then run

  1. to bottom of roundabout-5 hr merkins, back to start 10 scorpion CDDs, next light 15 hr merkins, start 20 sc CDDs, next light 25 hr merkins, start 30 CDDs, then sprint until Gerber felt like stopping

to hs parking lot hill, 6 inch plank jacks x10 IC

  1. first light 5 burpees, back to start 5 tysons, next light 10 burpees, start 10 tysons, next light 10 burpees, start 10 tysons, then try and make it to the top before turning and

Running back to start, right on time. 4.5ish miles for the team


I was under the impression that every Swarm workout had to have some sort of Wu Tang theme. So I took a shot at it by utilizing Ghostface Killah and Raekwon the Chef’s song from their best album.    Sort of did the same thing over and over and tried to keep it simple.  Turns out the group loved the lack of creativity.   Wow!   Good mix of new (to me) guys, old guys, fast guys, faster guys.  We never modified. Form was impeccable.  Guys were all working ha…..


What’s that?  Times up?  Okay bye.


Well, That Was Interesting

8 brave men, excited to leave the confines of Cuthbertson, joined YHC on a short trip to what the old school Lawson guys refer to as the “other side”


Warm Up:

Run a mile along Cuthbertson, Five Forks to the bottom of Great Rd.  At every light pole on Great Rd. 10 merkins, next light 10 plank jacks, repeat until done.


Great Hill

10 Mike Tysons, run backwards up hill to first light pole, 15 Mary Catherines

back to start 10 MTs, to second light 15 Bomb Jacks

back to start 10 MTs, run backwards to third light 15 Mary Catherines

back to start 10 MTs, then run all the way up to Five Forks rd, 15 Bomb Jacks


To This Is Ignition hill

At the top 15 merkins, at bottom 15 jump squats. Repeat 3 times, on the way down the hill, 15 Mountain climbers.

LBCs, 30 Heels to Heaven


rD klaweniP  

At the top 15 Jump tucks, at bottom 15 HR merkins -Run backwards up the hill –Complete 2 times


Surveyor General Dr. Merkinfest

After we moseyed to the Lawson baby pool, we ran down the street.

At every lightpole, 10 wide arm merkins, next lightpole 10 stagger merkins (R), next lightpole 10 stagger merkins (L), next lightpole 10 Diamond merkins -Did that over 8 lightpoles, then switched it up to Mary Catherines for the last two.


5 miles in our sights

Took the shortcut through the other side, up the path and to the closest alcove

10 Heels to Heaven, 20 incline merkins, 30 plank jacks, 40 donkey kicks-run to end of path and back.

Again but drop the donkey kicks-run around lot

Again but drop plank jacks-run through both parking lots

50 donkey kicks to close us out.



I’m not really sure what all happened but it was definitely interesting this morning.  Lost 1 to injury,  1 to some busted shins, almost lost 2 more to dehydration issues/alone time, and somehow ended up waking up part of Lawson by chanting.  Knew that I’d be able to put the pedal to the metal on this Q as everyone out there today was fast. Real fast so that there was very little circling back and little down time.   Ended up being a basic and likely recycled/stolen Q but when you have a competitive group of guys like we had, it doesn’t really matter what you end up doing.  I think scrapping the traditional warm up worked (all the issues above were obviously unrelated). Who knows though, maybe doing 10 IWs would have changed EVERYTHING.   Until next time.

Hurry-I looked into it and you may be right that 30 plank jacks on slippery benches are likely not a good idea moving forward. Especially 55 min into a workout.  Oops.

Bottlecap-QOD “Headlamps don’t really help when running backwards”   True.

Baio-silent assassin is always lurking right near the front, is quiet on his feet and may actually talk during the workout, but like me gets drowned out by the louder pax.

Gerber-Group Me demands pics!! It was sadly a short stay this morning.  Need to get creative and name that fence though.

Dasher-Loves him some merkins. Might have done a few of those today.  Was showing up the younger guys and had a little pep in his step this morning after all those trail miles he’s been putting in lately.

Easy Button-After much reflection, reluctantly took the blame for Gerber’s injury by not offering up his bathroom at 5:30 in the morning and making it super awkward for his family, instead forcing Gerber run a mile to the bathroom.  Tried to make up for it by allowing Transporter to use his hose for some water.  Too little too late.   

Transporter-Guy was thirsty this morning.  Too many honey do items over the weekend will do it every time.

Ice 9-Definitely not enough group counting going on today for Ice.  Likely upset as he somehow couldn’t mess up counting for a guy who, on video, can’t even count to 40 correctly.    


Announcements: See Flash

The Big Turd

9 were not afraid to venture out to explore some new Floater territory. Multi-PAX disclaimer given. 

Warm Up:

Mosey to Cox Law Firm, PLLC.   All IC-Mountain climbers x 10, Plank Jacks x10, peter parkers x10; Maktjar Ndiaye x 10, elbow Parker Peters x10


From there, run up Providence to CVS. At every third light, 10 Merkins and 10 squats. There were 258 lights so do the math.   CVS-some mary until the 6 arrived

Run from there to the cleanest Burger King in Waxhaw-We did Merkins, elbow planks and some other stuff, not sure all what we did there but we were subjected to at least three terrible puns by the comedians of the group.   

Main Event: 

Keep moving to Providence Farms, a lovely but rather hidden residential community

We stopped at the bottom, small hill on one end and large hill on the other end.  .25 miles end to end

Run up the hill, 20 15 Bomb Jacks, back down and at other end, 15 Jump Squats, in the middle, 15 Monkey Humpers.   We repeated this 2 times, most got to go up the large hill 3 times to get back to Providence.   


Back down Providence, at every driveway/street, complete 10 merkins, 10 dry docks.

Cross the street. Up Keith Jong’s dirty Hill, at halfway point, run backwards up hill.

To half wall, dips, 20 Derkins to close out the day. 

Approx 3.4 mi.



Shame on the Floater Site Q’s for not finding this hill earlier.  Only had 4 years to find it. Little bit of a trek to get there but it’s always good to try something new, which I’m definitely not known for.    Plenty of merkins and running, stayed dry, plus no train and no burpees, headlamps and reflective gear for days, doesn’t get much better than that.  


MadDog comes in announcing that he couldn’t wait to be the six, yet moments later FNG Veritas (works for Apologia and is going on 8 kids, yes we missed an opportunity there) comes strolling in claiming his six throne.   Rough first day, I Apoligized.  

Chastain, Easy Button, Ice9 and Bottlecap love them some hills, so they were happy and likely the culprits of the bad Burger King puns (YHC was in deep Q focus).   All sprinting up and hoping that they will be #1 when a Strava segment is eventually created. 

Shake’s favorite movie is/was Talladega Nights, hence the name.  Plus he stated that if we were going all the way to Alma Village like my last Q, he would bar we from ever Q’ing The Floater again.  Ouch. 

Dasher made sure we all had excuses for why we weren’t at Express on Tuesday before he would work out today.  Good thing we set up a separate Group Me channel to come up with the excuse.

Twinkle Toes openly admitted he used to write backblasts in his early F3 days but since there are so many new guys, knew he could get away with pretending he could not (maybe).



Easy Button loves being a new site Q. Floater sign ups needed  

Back to the Ignition Basics

4 Ignition regulars joined me in a brief running tour of what Lawson has to offer.   Disclaimer.

Warm Up:

Run to end of Prickly Lane in New Lawson. On Lightwood Rd., 5 Merkins and squats every light pole until the street ends.   30 10 sec oyo stretch


7s or Sevens–cul de sac on hilly Shearwater Lane to cul de sac of Lightwood Rd.-Burpees and Burpees

Back down Lightwood Rd-5 Merkins and Squats at every light pole until we reach Cuthbertson Rd.

Cross into Old Lawson onto Brough Hall, down Riverbank Rd.-10 jump squats every street on right, 10 dry docks every street on left until we reach the cool house with the red lights.

At the house-10 Mike Tysons, around each of the three loops that connect Riverbank and Trading Ford-at every intersection 10 Merkins, at red light house 10 Tysons

Run from there to Toteros Dr.-down the street, every street light 10 jump squats.  At the end of the street, segment hunting sprint back to Riverbank.

From there, run back to home base.

In parking lot, 10 Merkins, 20 wall hip slappers, 30 donkey kicks-run lap around lot. Then 10 merkins, 20 hip slappers -run lap

Done!  6+ miles for the crew


Realized that with 4 guys that regularly run 6+ miles at a mucho fast pace that we would be stretching out our legs a bit and offered up a nice old fashioned Ignition workout.  Always good and motivating to have competitive PAX that push you, whether you are in front or behind.  When Ignition was started, it was meant to be a workout that was uncomfortable and make you go past the limits of what you thought you were capable of.   In the 2+ years of this workout, there has definitely been a growth not only in the number of PAX, but the willingness of those who never thought they would attend to come and push themselves out of their comfort zone.     And I’m pretty sure I was out of my comfort zone for at least 45 min today.  Btw if you ever Q ignition, don’t tell the PAX that they can run at 8 min pace for a stretch to lower their heart rate.  It was like telling your 5 year old to not make a mess.   They ran even way faster to make a point.

Decided to ditch the standard circle warmup today with a mile run with a quarter mile of merkins/squats combo.  I’m sold.  Do 15 SSH’s and IW’s really warm you up in 32 degree weather?    The answer is no.

Hurry is a beast.  Regularly out front all morning and the only way I was able to slow him down was to give him terrible directions as to where we were going so he would need to stop and run in a circle until I clarified.  And make everything just short enough so  he didn’t lap me and crush my ego.

Tool Time is also separating from the pack. I’ve noticed that I used to be right on his heels during workouts, now most of us can only stick with him for a while  5 minutes until he’s gone.

Gerber -Let him extend the legs today a bit with his 130 cadence.  Once he gets going you really can’t catch up to him.  But he loves the burpees and merkins too, so I gotta keep giving him what he likes.

Easy Button -Battling all day with me for rights to be the 6.  Couldn’t really get a conversation going cause we were both struggling to breathe. But judging off Strava, if the Rooster happened tomorrow, he’s definitely moved up a couple of spots and at the front of the 1 and done A Team


See Flash BackBlast. Blood Drive, CSAUP, Being accountable, trusting in Him, Goodfella’s school registration & Rice and Beans were all on the list.

Bear Crawls are Dumb

13 men came to have a good time.   been a couple of years since the Flash guys invited me to Q…..just sayin. Nobody cares.

Run to HS parking lot
SSH x 15 ic, merkins x7 ic, mountain climbers x 7 ic, plank jacks x 7 ic, Peter Parkers x 7 ic, wide arm merkins x 7 ic, cdd x 7 ic

To roundabouts:
neverending bear crawl around top roundabout, then 20 merkins. Run to bottom on hill roundabout, forever bear crawl around it, then 20 bomb jacks.
Repeat 3 times.
Mary lbc, heels to heaven

To bus hill:
Suicides at each stop light 15 speed skaters, back to start and 5 burpees each time

To front of ms: makjar njiye x 10 ic, meekins

5 mile tysons, 10 merkins, 15 plank jacks, 20 donkey kicks- then run to far curb. Repeat but get rid of an exercise every time until time was called.

As for the title, might as well throw in burpees while we’re here. I could probably go on and on with some of the crazy and weird exercises found in the 100 page exicon as well. I guess not everyone wants to get soft just running all the time.

But for whatever reason, I chose to incorporate a ridiculous amount of bear crawling into the prepped weinke (which involved getting to campus early and drawing 4 chalk lines on the pavement).
However, the cool thing was not only the fact that I was the only one verbally complaining about my own Q, but also might have been the only one that couldn’t make it around without stopping. Shout out to the Flash guys that just kept breathing heavy working hard nonstop. The entire crew was within reach the full 45. Maybe it was too easy of a workout. May have to come back soon to redeem myself. Solid stuff all around.

Dasher wanted to prove that although he’s been an OG Express member, boot camps are where he shines. Out front all day. Recalculating, Schneider and Chicken Little weren’t too far behind and were pushing the pace. Mr. Form police might have called me soft at some point, but at least our form was decent (for those that care about form anyway).

Always helps to have a bunch of solid F3 veteran leaders with no Damascusing to round out the group.  Makes the Q’s job easy

And I now know that the rest of these fools can start sprinkling some more Swarm, Ignition in their weekly workouts. Minus the bear crawls of course. 2021 F3 goals
And shout out to Popeye for bringing his nephew, a 10 year old future hedge fund manager who I think revealed that he already has 1000 shares of Tesla stock in his portfolio. Now known As Gecko.


New Years Day workout coming-details soon

See Mayhem Stu for mission opportunity 1/26-2/2. More details coming soon.