From Sons of Ballantyne in Charlotte, North Carolina welcome to
GUTS The Brave, the action sports show that’s gonna make you sweat!
The action sports show that asks, “Do You Have It????” AUDIENCE: GUTS!
And now, let’s meet today’s fearless players!
- Frehley’s “Farting Up a Storm” Faster Than You Can See A” Comet
- Mary “Can’t Touch This” Kay
- Rudy “Ruthless Morales”
- Jerry “How about Dem Boys” World
- “Rowdy and Ready for Arousal” Rousey
- Taco “Best Damn Band in the Land” Stand
- Sweet “Baby Jesus! Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter” Water And last but not least
- “Don’t Worry, I’ll Be Your” Wingman
Today, our players will be tackling our radical parking deck, the Aggro Crag, where almost anything can happen! The pax with the most points at the end of all of our events is the winner and he will be take home a glowing piece of our awesome rock! Now remember folks, all of our events here in F3 are specifically designed with our players’ safety in mind! They
will be wearing safety equipment, and they will have a professional stunt director and stunt spotters with them at all times, are led by peers in a rotating fashion with no training or certification necessary, so please, do not try this at home!
It’s time… to… AUDIENCE: SPILL YOUR GUTS!!!
The Aggro Crag
- All nine contestants raced to climb the 8-level parking deck, completing a series of called exercises (commonly referred to as “actuators”) on their way to the peak
- The first contestant to successfully activate each actuator, including the final one at the peak of the mountain, earned first-place worth 725 points. The second- and third-place contestants earned 550 and 375 points, respectively
- Round 1: ascending double merkin burpees at top of ramp (36 burpees, 72 merkins), 10 jump squats at bottom of each ramp (80 total)
- Round 2: 10 6-inch plankjacks at top of ramp (80 total), 10 big boy situps at bottom of each ramp (80 total)
- Round 3: 10 merkins at top of ramp (80 total), 10 broad jumps at top of each ramp (80 total)
- Donkey Kicks and Jump Ups as we made our way down the Crag
- 6-inch plankjacks, jump ups and dry docks before making it back to launch
- Wingman: 725 points. Jetted ahead of the pack, called Mary at the peak and led the way back. Earned bacon and eggs for a hearty breakfast.
- Rousey: 550 points. The people’s champion and rallier of spirits. -25 points for out-of-cadence grunting
- Jerry World: 400 points. Beasted it up the mountain showing no rust after not posting for months. Took off and never looked back. Reminds me of Lebron James – just keeps putting in the work and has that bald spot on the back of his head
- Taco Stand: 375 points. Ready and steady in his approach and likened the deck to Kiliminjaro. Overheard singing the chorus to Tutu’s “Africa”.
- Rudy: 350 points. +100 points for making his first post to the Brave. Stopped to take in the beauty of Ballantyne in the Gloom after reaching the first peak. His whole life people have been telling him what he could do and couldn’t do. He’s always listened to them, believed in what they said. He doesn’t wanna do that anymore.
- Mary Kay: 350 points. +75 points for posting multiple times in one week and not backing down from taking on 8 parking deck levels. His beauty secret: confidence.
- Sweet Water: 325 points. Enjoyed broad jumps so much he doubled the rep count at each level and was still hopping in excitement. +50 points for Qing Da Vinci tomorrow.
- Frehley’s Comet: 300 points. Winner of his age bracket and did more this morning that what most men his age will do for the rest of the year. -75 points for farting in the stairwell and gassing out everyone in his wake.
- Metro/Waxhaw Blood Drive
- Sweetwater with the Da Vinci Q. Don’t let the cooler temps keep you from taking the daily red pill
- Waxstravaganza CSAUP on 2/12. More miles and bootcamps this year. Can’t wait
- SOBeer Run on 2/26