Author Archive Hoover

Battle of the Bands, The Wolf Edition

6 men showed up for the battle of the bands, 70’s v 80’s edition of Meathead.  It would have been 7, but someone slept in.  We won’t name names, we don’t do that here, but YHC can confidently say that said person can expect a Foo Fighters playlist of  KISS songs coming soon to a workout near him.

But YHC digresses, the men in attendance took on week 3 of the Wolf.  For those just tuning in from home, The Wolf is the third gospel of the Meathead bible.  How it was developed can only be summarized in these immortal words from Martin Luther, “I think you received these ideas in your pipe dreams.” (From Defense and Explanation of All the Articles, pg. 56 of Luther’s Works, Vol. 32)

Battle of the Bands was an idea submitted by a pax on Slack the day prior to the workout.  YHC had planned an aggressive punk covers playlist for some fun with the pax but quickly switched gears once the request line was opened.  Battle of the Bands was suggested and one of those pipe dream ideas from Martin Luther popped into YHC’s head.  It might be more of a Battle of the Decades but the approach to the playlist was to take rock artists from both decades and play a track from the 70’s and a track from the 80’s back to back.  It worked for the pax present, unfortunately, at least one pax missed out altogether.  But the pax in attendance paid tribute and rocked on, Detroit City style.

Thang:

Warmup: 25 swings, IW, 25 swings, Sharon Towers, 25 swings, Prying squat, 25 swings

The Wolf: DFFS, DMP, DCL, DFFS 3 sets of 5. 1 minute on, 90 seconds off

Double Deadlifts: 3 sets of 5

Merkins / Lawnmowers: 3 sets of 10

Voodoo complex increasing reps:  2, 3, 4 per side

Carries:
Double carries, alternating positions – rest in between
Waiter / rack
Farmer / rack
Waiter / Farmer

Static holds 30 seconds each

Moleskine:

The Wolf is a no joke program.  The double squats bracketing the exercises really forces pax to push themselves, YHC worked with double 40’s (not the drinkable kind) for two sets and double 53’s for the last set.  That will take the wind out of your sails.  Thankfully, the pax will only be subjected to this madness for a few more weeks before moving onto the next book spreadsheet in the Meathead gospel.

Good group of pax as well.  The usual regulars were out these with a drive-by from the Anvil crew.  No monkey-humpers this week.  Pretty sure the playlist Mr Magoo’s beatdown by the baseball fields kept them busy and too tired to show their (no eye contact) monkey humper form.

Was really looking forward to getting some solid feedback on the playlist this week.  As mentioned in previous backblasts, YHC delights in setting off the grumpy old snowflakes with select choices of loud and aggressive (some might say angry) music.  This week YHC leaned into the idea of 70’s v 80’s playlist in the hopes of some epic musical mumblechatter.  Of course the risk with this is always finding out who had what done to them in various concert parking lots across the United States.  Some stories are better left at home will live on infamy (or disgust).  Frehley’s Comet may not ever live this one down.

Finally, thanks to Voodoo and Unplugged for the opportunity to lead.  Always enjoy subjecting the pax to my bad ideas, and they all seem to think they get better for it.

Announcements:

  • Beer Mile, 10/15 (next time it will be on the same day as the blood drive)
  • Blood drive, 10/29
  • HIMpact Local 5K and 10K, 12/04.  See Kirby for details or check out the Slack channel #himpactlocal.

Thanks to Unplugged for the take-out.

#SYITG

And of course, can’t forget the playlist:

  • Eric Claptopn:  Cocaine & Tearing Us Apart
  • Aerosmith: Walk This Way (original not the run DMC mix) & Rag Doll
  • Bruce Springsteen:  Born to Run & Glory Days
  • AC/DC: It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll) & For those About to Rock (We Salute You)
  • Motorhead: Motorhead & Ace of Spades
  • Kiss:  Detroit Rock City & I Love It Loud

Crocodile Herman’s Bike

12 did what the rain hasn’t done at 0530 all week, they showed up and put the work in.  YHC was making up for his lackluster Q performance complete fartsack from two weeks ago, by taking the Q this week at Centurion.  #cotters

The focus for the workout was to honor the 19 soldiers lost during the Battle of Mogadishu in 1993, 28 years ago.  Inspiration was provided by GORUCK’s MOG Mile events and the MOG mile WOD which called for sandbags in the workout.  But this ain’t SACS and YHC wasn’t bringing the coupons so we modified to partner work.  Here was the inspiration for the weinke design.

Quoting US Army Ranger Keni Thomas, “We all came to peace with it – if I die here, I die here.  But I’m not going to let it happen to the guys around me.  That’s what it became about.  We weren’t fighting for the flag, or the nation or freedom.  I wasn’t even thinking about my family.  All I thought about was that I wasn’t going to let anything happen to the guy on my left and the guy on my right.”

Reflecting on that, and focusing on the numbers 19 and 28, YHC was prepared to deliver the beatdown.

The Mole-Thang-Skine:

Pull into the parking lot at 0527.  See the relieved look on Snowflake’s face that YHC actually showed up this week.  Spend a few minutes handing out fist bumps and chatting with the pax.  Cheese Curd and Sable apparently had a hot date mile prior to the workout.  Pre-arranged on Slack for all to wonder over.  At 0530 a thorough disclaimer was handed out to the pax and we were off for a jaunt round the parking lot.  We found a tractor trailer parked opposite from McDonalds with the back open and crates of pumpkins nearby.  Someone found a long/oddly shaped gourd to which Puddin Pop commented something about pills that can help with men that problem.  What strikes YHC is that we could have each grabbed a pumpkin and no one would have known.  Even more surprising there were still intact pumpkins on the premises.  If high-school Hoover had pulled into that lot, there would have been the smashing (of) pumpkins.

Warmup by the pumpkins, SSH, IW, plank on that wonderfully smooth parking lot for shoulder taps, peter parkers, and parker peters.  At this point pax were commenting about how smooth the parking lot and the impacts to various pax’s hand model careers.  As soon as we were ready to spend the full 45 minutes on this comfortable asphalt, YHC decided to move on down the line … or across the street to the old parking deck at Charlotte Christian.  Gather around the parking deck entrance and partner up.  YHC explained weinke’s the connection to the Battle of Mogadishu.  To start pax would complete BLIMPS (Burpees, Lunges 2=1, Imperial Walkers 2=1, Merkins, Plank Jacks, and Squats).  The rule was to stick together for the BLIMPS start at the bottom of the parking deck do 1 round of BLIMPS.  Then run to the next landing for 2 BLIMPS.  Continue up to the top and back to the bottom for 7 total rounds with ascending reps each time.  By the time pax hit 7 rounds, that made 28 reps of each exercise.  Back at the parking deck entrance.  Stay with your partners for 19 hand-slap merkins, 19 WWII situps with partners holding each others feet, and partner wheelbarrows 19 paces out and 19 paces back.

From there pax ran across the parking lot to the back set of stairs.  19 jump squats then up on flight of stairs.  19 heels to heaven and up to the next flight of stairs.  19 more jump squats and up to the top for 19 Boone crunches on the left and 19 Boone crunches on the right..  From there, run down the parking deck, out the door and over to the Wells Fargo parking lot.  Plank up for the 6, cross the street and get back to the start for some Mary.  As we were mid-Rosalita Crocodile Dundee rode by on Pee -Wee Herman’s bright red bike mumbling something about a group of men doing Lamaze exercises.  We politely but firmly corrected him.  We were doing Kegel exercises.

That wrapped up YHC’s first Q for Centurion.  Come back in 2 weeks for part 2 of the Hoover Centurion Q extravaganza.

Thanks to Puddin Pop for the take out.

Announcements:

Blood Drive – 10/29.  Mighty Mite has the details and like an elephant will remember if you don’t donate blood.

Beer Mile – 10/15.  See the #beermile channel on Slack for more information.

Centurion needs Qs.  You can signup here or catch Snowflake at a workout.

 

Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

The direction must be left based on your choice of music …

9 men got their money’s worth on this week’s episode of Meathead.  YHC was tapped on Monday in the parking lot after Swole thanks to the expert planning of the site Q’s.  Good strategy on their part to EH pax for a Q spot immediately post workout and as they are getting into the car.  This expert strategy almost always guarantees success for two reasons: 1) the targeted pax is likely to agree to anything because they left their common sense somewhere on the asphalt and 2) EHing pax for a Q spot as you have one leg and arm in your car saves you from hearing if said pax has any objections or second thoughts about taking the Q.  These are veteran moves expertly utilized by Voodoo on most Saturday and/or Monday mornings.  Or at least this has been YHC’s experience with Qing.  Back to the matter at hand.

The day before YHC posted to Slack about the upcoming Meathead Q, and as most pax know by now the workout is driven by the holy scripture spreadsheet expertly engineered to keep pax on a kettlebell routine and keep things from going off the rails, which leaves the choice of music as the key to defining any good Swo-lympus-head workout.  This, of course, means that the trash talking mumble-chatter can get started early and get lively before the main event.  And based on the “Kettlebell Surprise” playlist from Frehleys Comet’s Swole Q on Monday, we had plenty of material.  For those of you trying to keep up with the weekly music drama, let’s recap quickly.

Using the Reader’s Digest version of “a dummy’s guide to selecting music for your workout” authored by Frehleys Comet:

  • If it’s not 70’s rock, it sucks.  Disco is a notable exception.
  • Foo Fighters and Pearl Jam suck, in fact he could create better noise in his garage by banging a bunch of stuff around at random
  • Rage Against the Machine (RATM) makes him want to kick his dog (no dogs were kicked in the writing of this backblast)
  • Milli Vanilli is perfectly acceptable workout music

Now that we’re all caught up, YHC announced on Slack the intention to Q Meathead.  Workout theme would be 5 sets with a heavy Monty Python reference thrown in for good measure.  (1, 2, 5) As a good Q should, YHC opened the line for music requests.  And boy did they come in.  RATM, millie vanillie (who the hell is that?), Monster Mash, and Gaslight Anthem were the responses.  YHC suggested some Smashing Pumpkins, mostly feeling nostalgic as a gen X’er.  Ickey Shuffle pointed out the contradictory efforts of Tom Morello to both fight the capitalist imperial system while selling guitar lessons on the side.  10 minutes for YHC to slap the weinke together and about 45 minutes to curate a playlist.  Onto the main event.

0528 – pull into the parking lot

0529 – realize Mighty Mite isn’t there to hear his requested music choice

0530 – give a disclaimer explanation about what to expect and kick it off

The Thang:

25 swings, IW, 25 swings, windmill, 25 swings, prying squat, 25 swings

5 Supersets of 5 reps: Double cleans,  Double freaking front squats (FFS), Double swings and give ample rest time between each set (time for lots of bitching feedback about the music choices)

Merkins/Lawnmowers 5sets of 5 reps
Standard merkins, Wide-arm merkins, Diamond merkins, off-set L side merkins and off-set R side merkins with 5 lawnmowers per side after each set of merkins

High Pulls/OH Press 5 x 5

Waiter carries, Rack Carries: 2 light posts, switch sides and come back

Murray:  Heels to Heaven, Plank, Flutter Press, Hollow Body hold

Blame it on the rain-skine:

The first part of the workout was tough.  Those supersets took the wind out of a few sails.  But that was by design, FFS are not easy or fun exercises and sandwiched between double cleans and double swings left many a pax glad to put down the bells after.  The rest of the workout was lower intensity, but kept the pax moving.

Then there was the bitching feedback about the music selection.  30 seconds into a live version of Pearl Jam’s Porch was where it all started.  Honestly, I was surprised it took that long, must have been the vigorous supersets holding everyone back.  But not surprisingly, Frehleys just doesn’t relent.  This is why I secretly look forward to Qing a workout with him in attendance.  Nothing like a triggered old man to get your day started right.  To which I share this nugget of wisdom from the morning conversation mid-rack carry.  A DJ once shared with me that most people peak defining their musical tastes between approximately 18 and 27.  That would have put YHC at the bottom of that bell curve at approx. 2006.  But did YHC rest on the laurels of a life well listened to?  No.  Absolutely not, in fact one could argue that at 27, YHC was just getting warmed up.  Think about all the angst still to come in 15 years plus the constant retro unearthing of eclectic one-hit wonders made popular by current day movies and TV series.  The resurging popularity of vinyl collections and cassette tapes is like the second coming of Christ to some music lovers out there.  There’s plenty of great music still to be discovered and YHC can’t wait to force old man Frehleys and the unwilling pax of Meathead to listen to those choice nuggets.

The title for the backblast was a quote from Ickey shuffle, muttered as we walked with our bells in the various carry positions.  YHC was either the only one to hear it or the only one to appreciate it.  That rapier-like wit is always welcome and seldom to be trifled with.  I imagine it makes for some interesting conversations at home.  But it did take us down the path of how most (not all) music/cinema/art is generated by liberal or left-leaning individuals.  Which really says something about why there is a perceived (and yes, inherent) liberal bias in the media.  Apparently the right has country, western, Kid Rock, Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson, and Fox News.  That’s it.

One final note before signing off, great to see MAD back in the gloom.  A retired rucker, pretty sure he still wants to throw on a ruck but his doctor (and his M) would have some strong disagreements.  Take a lesson from this man, do what you can where you can.  Do let something hold you back, even if that something is common sense and your annual deductible.

I leave you all with this quote from a band called The Hold Steady, “Everyone’s a critic and most people are DJs”  That about sums up the morning shenanigans in a church parking lot before sunrise.

Announcements:

  • HDHH – Today at Zee’s Tavern.  They’re giving away free tetanus shots, or so I’ve been told.
  • F3 10 year.  It will be epic but only if you sign up and go.
  • Blood drive.  10/29, Mighty Mite posted something on Slack.  Signup through the Red Cross website.
  • MAD’s 50th birthday is next week.
  • Iron Pax Challenge is coming, get signed up

Thanks to Unplugged for taking us out.

 

The Playlist causing so much angst:

Monster Mash – The Misfits

Geek U.S.A. – Smashing Pumpkins

Porch (Live) – Pearl Jam

Paperback Bible – Screaming Trees

Down – Stone Temple Pilots

Tire Me – RATM

A War Inside – Bigwig

Whatcha Got? – Red City Radio

Arms Aloft (Live) – Pearl Jam

Drive – Gaslight Anthem

I Don’t Wanna be an Asshole Anymore – The Menzingers

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python

Love a Liar – Red City Radio

6 – 4 – 7, Saban would not be impressed

12 men showed up to the Calvary parking lot for a cool Saturday morning.  The workout was advertised as a salute to the 246th anniversary, to the day, of General George Washington’s acceptance of the command of the Continental Army.  This little factoid was shared with the assembled Rock Zero pax at 0700.  The Olympians, much like the Greeks in the 18th century, were too far away to hear and too pre-occupied with their own business to be bothered.

Not many people know General Washington’s war record, and so it was shared that morning with the assembled pax and the assurance that this workout would honor 6 wins, 4 ties, and 7 losses.  As one might surmise by this record, if General Washington was a coach in today’s modern sports world, he might have been out of a job.  And in an effort to keep our Alabama-Snowflake pax satisfied, if Nick Saban were a redcoat Washington would have been toast.  Thankfully, Washington was more like Mike Ditka he had his wins, he had his losses, and retired a hall of famer.

But enough about Ditka, let’s get back to the workout.

Da Thang

Mosey around the parking lot towards the Hot Box.  Circle up for the typical warmup exercises.  After that we hit the Hot Box to celebrate General Washington’s wins.  All 6 of them.  For this, pax completed 6 4 rounds of called exercises and ran down the hill of trash cans to the bottom and back.  There was much debate on going to the end of the sidewalk or taking the three extra steps to get to the garbage can ON the grass.  After the 4th round, the OTHER workout showed up and started making fun of us.  The other workout being two middle aged women with 15 pound dumbells.   Apparently, Runstopper’s half zip sleeveless vest did not impress these ladies and they commented profusely on the pax need to stop and breathe actual oxygen after 4 rounds.  Pax wisely moved to the front of the Hot Box for some wall sits with air presses and story time balls to the wall.  Today’s story, how Runstopper got his F3 name.  After both rounds,  pax ran to the light pole in the parking lot and back.

Move onto the Avenue of the Trees.  One day this will get a proper LOTR/Ent reference but until then …  At the avenue of the trees we contemplated the 4 ties during General Wahsington’s career.  Such contemplation could only be completed with 4 rounds of 5 reps of a called exercise at each tree.  After the 2nd round we stopped for some Murray (because Mary is for young guys and Murray is a proper representation of fat middle-aged men trying to get a 6 pack in the summer). After this, the pax wrapped up the final 2 rounds.  Head over to the Rock Pile to contemplate Washington’s losses.

YHC’s instructions were to grab a lifting rock and the pax were informed that losing sucks.  So grab a lifting rock and head to the adjacent lot for descending 7’s.  Start at the first island and do 1 overhead press then mosey all the way to the last island with your lifting rock and do 6 rock squats.  Come back to the fist island and complete 2 OH presses then mosey to the second to last island for 5 rock squats, rinse and repeat.  Each time pax got closer and closer until we wrapped up with all pax cursing YHC’s good ideas.  It should be noted that Runstopper had a strong lead on the pax all morning until now.  We needed Proehl out there to keep him in check.  There were many comments about choosing a lifting rock for running but this is where YHC reminds the pax that losing sucks.  It sucked for General Washington and it sucks for the assembled pax.

With just under 10 minutes to go, pax replaced their rocks gently, back where they found them by throwing them as far as they could without approaching the Rock Pile.  Mosey across the parking lot to the cemetery and the circle up at the flag pole for the Pledge of Allegiance.  For whatever reason, Calvary church has left the cemetery gates open alot.  Time for someone to take advantage of that extra strip of asphalt.  It’s not like the current residents are getting a lot of use out of it.  Head back to launch and round up the Olympus pax to join us for COT.

Da Moleskine

Solid group for a cool Saturday morning.  Wasn’t sure what to expect in terms of numbers with the 4th of July weekend upon us but the pax in town did not disappoint.

  • Welcome FNG, Warped Tour.  EH’d by Mildew.  He is to young to know what the Warped Tour is but he wore a Vans t-shirt to the workout and the other option was Lilith after the Lilith Fair.  He can thank me later.  Warped Tour was a solid FNG and kept pace with us throughout the entire workout
  • Welcome, Emoji from F3 Richmond.  He recently moved to town and was super excited to be transfer his membership from F3 Richmond to Area 51/SOB.  Look out for him at workouts in the coming weeks.  He was really anxious to meet other pax and get know the AOs.
  • Sound off with other fond memories of the workout.

The pax were treated to a history lesson between each set of rounds.  Here’s the breakdown for you on the wins, ties and losses of General Wahsington.

6 victories
Siege of Yorktown
Battle of Princeton
Battle of Trenton
Battle of Second Trenton
Battle of Harlem Heights
Siege of Boston

4 draws
Battle of Monmouth
Battle of the Clouds
Battle of Whitemarsh
Forage War

7 losses
Battle of Long Island
Battle of Kip’s Bay
Battle of White Plains
Battle of Fort Washington
Evacuation of Fort Lee
Battle of Brandywine
Battle of Germantown

Da Announcements

Crane Relay, plenty of spots still open to run

GrowRuck 24

 

Thanks to High Tide for the takeout

This one time at SACS …

The following is equal parts Thang/Moleskin-age and the ramblings of a guy about to go on vacation who has mentally checked out … you have been warned.

3 dudes, who may or may not all be GRTs, made it to SACS today.  Not surprising the low number considering Cheese Curd and Wild Turkey were both DR (separately of course).  But not one to be deterred by something as trivial as people having better places to be at 0515 on a Wednesday, YHC was ready to lead these men into the unknown.  Or at least whatever madness was conjured up in a fever dream during a nap on a Zoom call the day before.  Inspired by the Saturday night ruck, Star Dog, a weinke was assembled and promptly ignored.  A workout was completed and pax put the work in.  What you really want to know is, what happened with “This one time at SACS”

Here goes …

At 0509 YHC made the left onto Strawberry Ln behind Snowflake.  He decided to show up on time this week.  Generous of the guy, considering he advertised the start time on Slack.  But also much appreciated.  As we rolled into the SCMS parking lot with Geraldo hot on our heels, YHC noticed a large Chevy Suburban already in the parking lot.  First assumption was Logjam had joined us but it wasn’t a black Suburban.  Thinking nothing of it, pax got out, rucked up, grabbed sandbags, and at this point YHC decided to toss the opener of the weinke in favor of some adventuring.  Down to the ball fields.  At one point Geraldo mentioned something about a woman running the track last week.  That detail was filed away as noted yet not impacting the plan.  The same plan that was just trashed in favor of a new plan that included heavy doses of winging it.

Head to the ballfields.  First up a little modified APFT.  3 men = 3 stations.  First are the sit-ups, fingers interlocked behind the head.  Full sit-up, 52 in 2 minutes.  One guy holds your feet down.  The other does merkins 42 in 2 minutes.  Rotate through exercises and everyone gets a 2 minute break at some point.  That was a solid warmup.

Next lineup on the 3rd baseline with the sandbags and rucks off.  sandbag toss across the infield to the first baseline, 5 burpees, and go back to get your ruck.  Rinse and repeat back across the infield.

Head up the sidewalk and over to the track with sandbags and rucks.  At this point YHC saw the someone running the track.  Minor detail remembered and yet still filed away.  Hit the track to complete one 400.  Said runner passes us.  It is quickly determined that this runner is female and what one might consider attractive wearing short shorts and a sports bra.  She also boasted a 6 pack that would make my Miller Lite cry tears of jealousy.

After our 400 we dropped the coupons and lined up for 50 meter ruck on bear crawls with 50 meter ruck rifle carry back.  Do this twice.  Runner continues to run.

After this (and totally because YHC was shooting from the hip) time for another lap.  About halfway around the track Geraldo starts telling a story about “This one time at GoRuck” that involved Human Centipede merkins.  Basically merkins where GRTs are lined up, in plank position, with their feet on the shoulders of the person behind them (obviously pre-covid).  Geraldo happened to be behind a smaller female during this story as luck would have it.  Now let it be said that Gerlado embodies many admirable traits, one being his gentlemanly charm in public settings and YHC assumes this extends to GoRuck events. But in this particular story Geraldo was in the awkward position of having his head … well you can imagine where in reference to the female, whose legs were on his shoulders.  There were no “Oh” faces involved.  It’s at this point in telling the story where the runner catches up to this group of middle-aged men carrying heavy stuff.  She slows down to ask what we’re doing and we all have this shocked silence of “there’s an attractive woman talking to a bunch of married middle-aged men, and she wants to know what we’re doing”.  You know the kind of stuff the writers on the Big Bang Theory would have whipped into a funny 2 minute sketch to accompany transition through a 22.5 minute plot.  Anyway, Snowflake, quick on his feet as always, tells her that we’re training for a GoRuck endurance event.  12 – 13 hours, many miles, heavy things, manly stuff etc. etc.  She grins and enthusiastically says something to the effect of “That’s so cool, good luck.” and proceeds to keep running.

She wasn’t 20 feet away when Geraldo picked right back up on his story, like he hadn’t even stopped to take a breath.  “So there I was with my head up this girl’s crotch.”

To her credit the woman kept running and even waved to us in the parking lot after.  Maybe she was intrigued by the awkward yet challenging positions situations that a GoRuck event puts you in, or maybe she was trying to keep the fear from her eyes as she frantically googled any other middle school in the area without a secluded track that’s empty at 0500.  We may never know.

The rest of the workout was uneventful, yet challenging.  It included 30+ sandbag cleans/thrusters across the parking lot with ruck on.  Snowflake mentioned something about trying not to pass out during those.  A ruck around the grounds and some ruck on dips & little hazes.  All told under 2 miles with a solid bit of work.

Afterward, Geraldo led the group in a lesson on how to attach a hip belt to your ruck.  Spoiler alert: it’s way more complicated than one would think but surprisingly easy enough to accomplish.  Go figure, that’s sounds like something an individual trained by the US government, at the expense of a few million tax payer dollars, would develop.

Thanks to Snowflake and Geraldo for putting in the effort today and to Cheese Curd and Geraldo for the opportunity to lead.

Announcements:

GrowRuck – August 6th

HDHH Tour continues, somewhere new in July.  Probably on the 14th.  There will be a poll and updates on Slack.

Parking Lot Shenanigans with the Ladies

13 men mostly behaved themselves on a cool Thursday morning at Nightmare on Elm.  Site Q Circuit City was absent due to a lingering injury but with his partner in crime, Mic Check, and the Man-Tan, War Eagle, SOB leadership was present.  With a quorum established, a disclaimer was (not really) delivered, and at ~0530 pax set off for a run over to the NE corner of the theater.

Two things YHC didn’t expect in a post-lockdown/pandemic movie theater parking lot was

  1. how nice and freshly paved the parking lot was (they must be betting on Fast and Furious 17 to really hit it big at the box office) and
  2. how this place has turned into a NASCAR and truck driving training ground.  No sooner did the pax head out across the parking lot then a massive pickup truck sped through the lot right in front of us with little regard to the pedestrians dressed in dark colors who were not highly visible.  The nerve of some people.

Pax hands were saved from a terrible cheese-grater experience with new asphalt in front of Stonecrest Regal, so this seemed like the perfect place to do some burpees and we did.  Frehley’s Comet was quick to point out his 10 burpee limit.  But not if it was 10 total or 10 at once.  YHC erred on the side of caution and only called for 5 burpees, twice.

Thang:

Mosey to NE corner of Theater
5 burpees, IW, Low Slow Squats
Mosey around the horn of the parking lot
5 burpees, merkins/Peter Parker/Parker Peter
Mosey back in towards the theater SE entrance

Parking Lot stupi-cides
Start at first island run to the end, 10 jump squats
Back to start and go to next island in, 10 jump squats
Back to start and go to next island in, 10 jump squats
Rinse and Repeat but flapjack (closest island) and do merkins

Head back to YHC’s car, grab coupons the ladies, and partner up.  Rule #1, the ladies don’t touch the ground
P1 runs to the stop sign, P2 does exercise, reps are cumulative by partners and when exercises are done one partner holds the coupon in the OH rifle carry position while the other partner planks up

100 OH Presses
100 Upright Rows
100 Good Morning
100 Squats
100 Curls
100 Tricep Ext

Fat-Man Murray (Mary) with the coupons got us to time

Moldy-oldy-skine:

Good crew today.  Some new faces for YHC, which was nice and some pax who have ventured north to the land of the alien, Area 51.  Pax covered around 2 miles.  Another fun edition was bringing out the “ladies”.  Long have they languished in YHC’s garage because covid-forbid they be allowed out for the men of F3 to pass around like a bottle of Thunderbird.   Since many of you have yet to meet these darlings of YHCs coupon repertoire, here’s a little backstory to get you familiar with each of them.

25 pound plate, AKA Brandi:  She’s a fine girl, what a good wife she would be should have been.  But her twin sister, Mandi, objected to the proposed nuptials on the grounds that the husband to-be was their half-brother and part-time cousin.  these days she shares a room with Mandi and her collection of Bob Ross knock-off paintings and mumbles constantly about happy little trees.

25 pound plate, AKA Mandi: Brandi’s b**chy twin sister, a former Madame of a brothel in Hyderabad India.  She, unknowingly, is the love-child of a Bugs Bunny pez dispenser and a whirling dervish.  A bitter woman her goal in life is to crush men’s souls like an egg dropped on a sidewalk.

35 pound plate, AKA Cindi:  After growing up on the mean streets of Bethesda, Mary-land, she took a job as an airline stewardess for SpiceJet to “get away from it all”.  She once beat up a a dude with the muffler off his own car.  He came at her with a knife.   The lesson there, don’t bring a knife to a muffler fight.

35 pound plate, AKA Mindi:  She’s the smart one.  She was arrested once for trying to pass off some counterfeit Longhorn gift certificates for a 70% ownership stake in a hybrid waterpark and alligator petting zoo.  Every morning she wakes up and recites the same line over and over to herself in the mirror, “It’s you, Paris Hilton, and Katy Perry vs. the world”.  No relation to Cindi.

A (mostly) empty Miller Lite keg, AKA “The Fat One”:  A connoisseur of the finest lite beer this side of the Atlantic Ocean, don’t let her high quality choice of top shelf gas station beer fool you.  She may look high-class but she can get down and dirty with the best of them.

A ruck plate, AKA “The Skinny One”:  20 pounds of nicotine and hatred.  It doesn’t care about your feelings, it just takes what it wants.  It was raised by a pack of wild African Honey Badgers and is currently in talks with the Florida Game and wildlife Department to single-handedly rid the everglades of it’s invasive python problem.

A 50 pound sand-bag filler in a 120 lb sandbag, AKA The Bearded Lady-Boy: Hailing from a Bangkok rest stop.  Her claim to fame is having a bad-ass mustache.  It’s one hell of a self-esteem builder.

Sound off below in the comments with your fondest memory of the ladies.

Thanks to Circuity City and Mic Check for the opportunity to lead.  It was a great morning and a great crew.

Announcements:

  • New parking spot for workouts at Stonecrest, park by Jimmy Johns.  Apparently the riff raff have been stealing those little pine tree air fresheners out of your car
  • Grow Ruck, first weekend in August.  Lots of opporyunitites for leadership training with over 100 of your fellow pax.
  • Crane Relay, August 13th.  It’s like BRR Lite
  • Monday, July 5th, 0800 at the now defunct giant golf course in Ballantyne’s corporate space.  Bring your 2.0s.  It’ll be fun.

#SYITG

Skunk-blast: Give ’em the Boot

13 lucky skunks got “booted” on Tuesday.  They decided to show up to YHC’s Q assuming it would be easy-ish, since YHC can’t walk fast or far and running is completely out.  9 out of 5 pax agree that when mobility challenged, kettlebells provide a solid alternative to fartsacking.  Anyhow, YHC was lucky enough to get tapped to Q last week after showing up to Skunkworks with the boot on and Stone Cold made a reference to Lois’ tabata q (which had a top-notch backblast BTW unlike my usual ramblings).  So feeling slightly intimidated having to follow in Lois’ boot steps, YHC agreed.

According to Baracus the given disclaimer was top notch, but what else can you expect from a chiseled veteran?  Probably an on-time backblast.  It should be noted that said backblast is terribly late and YHC felt the shame (x3) when Voodoo, Mr. Magoo, and Udder posted their respective Wednesday backblasts before YHC even got the F3 South Charlotte Word Press thing-y up and running.  YHC could go on and on but this Miller Lite ain’t gonna drink itself and YHC only has about 5 minutes before the 2.0’s start sneaking behind my desk during my next zoom call.  YHC doesn’t care how many Power Ranger Ninja shows you’ve watched in the last 3 days.  You’re not invisible to the camera, son.

Here’s the Thang:

Warmup:
15 two handed swings
IW x 10
10 two handed swings
Sharon Towers x 10
15 two handed-swings

Swinging Deadlift Lawnmowers:
Two-handed swing x 20, Deadlift x 20, Lawnmowers x 10 per side
Run this a few times, wait for the 6 after each round then give it a 10 count before moving on

Modified Voodoo Complex Pyramid: 1/2/3/4/5/4/3/2/1
Left side then right side, up and down the pyramid
One handed swing, high pull, snatch, clean and press
Wait for the 6 give it a 10 count then do the second round

Some stuff you wouldn’t be caught dead doing at Meathead:
10 Upright Rows
10 bicep curls
10 tricep extensions
10 OH Press

50 swings pax choice (one handed, two handed, all in a row, by sets of 10, etc.)

30 second holds: waiter, rack, suitcase both sides, 30 seconds rest between sets

SkunkStripe:

Solid crew out there.  YHC thinks we need some cross-pollination with the Meathead and Swole crew.  5 years ago kettlebells were a Thursday thing and skunkworks was a running with kettlebells workout.  Oh yeah, and there was something at the SC state line at a literal dump where they supposedly used kettlebells and chased furry animals.

A few notable occurrences:

  • Smokey got curious how heavy YHC’s bell was and switched his 30 pound bell with YHC for a round of that stuff you wouldn’t be caught dead Qing at Meathead.  Think he learned quickly that unlike frisbees not all kettlebells weigh the same.  This kettlebell then made the rounds with some other pax.
  • Horsehead pulls a 62 lb. bell before the 50 swings.  One he just so happens to keep in his tool box in the back of the ‘yota.  Upon inspection it looked like it had a Road Runner emblem on it or some such nonsense.  but it was dark and YHC didn’t have his glasses on.
  • Baracus ended up with YHC’s bell and gave it a shot during the 50 swings.  Reports are he later went home with forearms so large (in his mind) he now sports matching fore-arm anchor tattoos, smokes a pipe, and keeps a can of spinach in the glove box.  Just in case.
  • Lois was boot-less.  Good for him for getting out of that thing.  Continue the speedy recovery, brother.
  • If you did all the exercises, then you exceeded 200 swings.  good work, men.

Other stuff YHC missed?  Sound off in the comments below.

This was a good crew, they didn’t cover any miles but were smoked by the end.  Good to meet Grits.  This was one of his first posts back at F3 in a while.  #kotters

Thanks to Horsehead and Stone cold for the opportunity to lead.

Announcements

  • Functional Strength Challenge 5/22
  • HDHH on 5/19

Thanks to Baracus for the take-out

SYITG

Titles are hard, man

7 men gathered on a rainy start to the week at the covered section of McAlpine Elementary Invue Parking Lot to get Swole on a Monday.

Pax diligently showed up at 0530 to McAlipne Elementary but no one wanted to swing hard iron in the rain so Voodoo made the call to relocate to InVue (they have his phone number anyway when they call to complain about a bunch of middle-ish aged men standing around the parking lot before working hours).  Pax found shelter by the Comet Pizza Riccio’s Italian Restaurant and proceeded to follow YHC’s instructions.  That might have been their first mistake.

Site Q, Mighty Mite, was not present sporting some kind of shoulder injury.  Hopefully it’s nothing serious.  Which, as anyone who’s had a shoulder injury can attest, is more restrictive than hobbling around in a plastic boot.  Speaking of, being in a boot limits the exercises one can do (no squats, no lunges, bad merkin form, getting off the floor from doing anything Mary related requires a team of clydesdales) so YHC made the best of it and channeled some upcoming Functional Strength Challenge material into the weinke.

Here’s what went down:

25 two handed-swings

IW

Sharon Towers 

25 two handed-swings

10 sets of 4 DBL Clean and Press

Single Side Jack Webb Snatch and Swing Pyramid: Stay on L side increasing reps, Switch to R side decreasing reps

1,04 then 2,08 then 3,12 then 4,16 then 5,20 start at the top and go back to 1,04

Pyramid:

2/4/6/8/10 Double Deadlift, Double High Pulls

8/6/4/2 Single Side Lawnmower, Single Side Snatch

Carries:

30 seconds OH hold

30 seconds racked hold

30 second suitcase hold 

30 seconds rest

Rinse and repeat on the other side

Moldskine:

Technology fail.  YHC had spent some time the night before setting up the timer on the phone.  The timer was all FUBAR in the AM.  As for the playlist, YHC delivered a strong disclaimer that included something to the effect of anyone talking smack on Jimi Hendrix was going to get a kettlebell to the face.  That seemed to quiet everyone down.  No fists were thrown and no one was butt-hurt over their favorite band being called out as worse than the Foo Fighters.

There was plenty of reason to complain though.  This was a tough weinke. The Jack Webb was rough enough, the pyramid was rougher.  Not sure if YHC will ever be invited back to Q.  Who are we kidding, of course YHC will be back.

One other thing, Frehley’s Comet is full of hot air.  Voodoo might be vaccinated for Covid-19 but pretty sure whatever forcefully exited Frehley’s system on Monday killed the vaccine.

It might also be the cure for Covid.

Announcments:

  • Aforementioned Functional Strength Challenge
  • HDHH is back on 5/19 at Seaboard in Matthews

Thanks to Wild Turkey for the takeout

Until next time, SYITG

The HDHH Tour, First Stop: Seaboard

Gents, mark your calendars.  The HDHH is back.  Starting this month on Wednesday, May 19th, Area 51 is kicking off the HDHH summer tour.

It’s no secret, YHC likes to drink beer as much as the next three legged dog in a tuna factory.  YHC is a little like that Sam critter from the moldy colored-breakfast food book for children, Green Eggs and Ham.  In that beer can be drank here or there, beer can be drank anywhere.  Fun fact, YHC has consumed beer on just about every nautical vessel known to man.  The fact that most of those vessels were not in the water at the time of said consumption doesn’t need to be mentioned, but it’s not like the people at the Guinness Book of World Records will ever know.  Despite numerous attempts by YHC, they just refuse to recognize the fortisitude required to achieve these monumental successes of the human spirit.

But, you may ask, what does all this have to do with the aforementioned HDHH tour?  Glad you asked.

Just like those washed up card carrying AARP members of the 80’s rock band Poison, Motley Crue, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and/or Def Leppard we’re going on a tour this summer.  No tour bus, the M won’t let YHC have the family wagon.  No hot chicks on motorcycles, surprisingly none of them would return YHC’s calls.  And we’re really not crossing state lines here, so maybe less of a tour and more of a jaunt around South Charlotte.

First stop on this tour, Seaboard.  Located in the heart of Stumptown, AKA Matthews, AKA that spot between Charlotte and Mint Hill that doesn’t want to be Charlotte but also does want to be Mint Hill.  Park nearby in the Sparta AO parking lot and join us at 5:30 PM or 1730 for you military types.  Outdoor seating is available.

Have you got a request for the next stop on the HDHH tour?  Sound off in the comments below.

#SYITHDHH

GrowRuck 24 Pre-Blast

You’re reading this pre-blast because:

  • You’re thinking about participating in GrowRuck 24 in the gateway to Gastonia, Charlotte NC
  • You’re not doing GrowRuck 24 and you just need the reading material to keep you sane before your next conference call
  • It’s 0500, you’re on the can, flipping through your phone and about to head out the door to a workout

If you don’t fit neatly into one of these categories, sound off in the comments.  While you’re coming up with something witty to say, here are the top-ten reasons you should do GrowRuck in Charlotte, this year.

  1. When was the last time you played army in the woods with a bunch of your buddies?  That corporate paintball trip doesn’t count.  Even when you went all Apocalypse Now on Tucker from logistics, like you were some kind of Martin Sheen to his Marlon Brando.  Next time Kyle from accounting offers you that crappy camo face-paint, just say no.
  2. You get to buy an expensive backpack.  Why does the M get to have all the fun and spend all the money on pointless accessories?  This is your opportunity to match her $ for $*. 
  3. Because DREDD likes to talk .. and talk … and talk … and talk for 2 days. GrowRuck will give you plenty of that.  Led by F3 Cadre, most notably Cadre DREDD.  You will get to pontificate with and listen to the musing of the mind that brought us F3.  While rucking your @$$ off.  If you’ve ever been to Speed Ruck on Fridays (or any other Metro workout) with DREDD you’ll know what YHC means.  Meet and learn from one of the founders of F3, DREDD aka: David Redding.
  4. Lack of sleep.  GrowRuck starts at sundown and ends at sunrise or whenever the Cadre calls it.  You’ll never see a better sunrise than at the end of a GrowRuck Tough or you won’t …
  5. Carry heavy things long distances.  GoRuck was founded on the foundation of Special Forces training. Green Berets are well versed in shouldering heavy rucks through cities, mountains, jungles and deserts, in war and in peace.  You’ll carry a ruck. and probably a sandbag or 9.  If you’re really lucky someone will find a log for you to carry.  Doesn’t this sound wonderful?  Covid restrictions do not apply.
  6. It’s the perfect excuse to go train at Area 51’s premier (and only) ruck workout, SACS.  It’s the best (and worst) ruck workout in South Charlotte.  Winner of every prestigious new workout award (of which there are none).  You’ll find your favorite regulars at 0515 SCMS parking lot including (but not limited to) Geraldo, Wild Turkey, Dora, and Cheese Curd.  Reach out to one of them if you need a spare ruck.
  7. You get to be called a weirdo by people who have no idea what rucking is or why they should be doing it.  Just wait until that carload of 20 somethings pulls up next to you at 2:37 AM and asks “what are you guys doing?” “What’s F3?” “Are you some kind of militia?” “That looks heavy.  Is it?” “Hey my uncle stormed the capitol, will you say hi to him in prison?”
  8. It’s a CSAUP and makes for really cool stories to tell your kids, co-workers, and other pax.  Like your favorite fishing story, “Man you should have been there, by the time we pulled this thing out of the water it was over 40 feet long and must have weighed 2-ga-jillion pounds.  What Cadre hides their snack in the glove box of a rusty El Camino at the bottom of a lake, weighed down with cinder blocks, and conveniently has a rope tied to its front bumper for retrieval?”
  9. You get to put reflective gear on your ruck.  And reflective gear has proven to be 100% effective at defending against, and repelling, small arms fire, mortar attacks, rocket propelled ordinance, fat girls on roller blades, ninja attacks, zombie hordes, gay vampires, gremlins, bigfoot, UFO abductions, el chupacabra, great white sharks, creepy little girls in horror movies, Jehovah’s witnesses, mimes, Rosie O’Donnell, that sham-wow guy, sith lords, decepticons, goth kids, charlie horses, purple nurples, and gingivitis.  All in all reflective gear is the best accessory for your ruck.
  10. These things typically end with a cold beer, a cool 2×3 patch, and knowing you’ve done more by sunrise than most people will do all week.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

* F3 does not take responsibility for pax choosing to match their M’s handbag spending $ for $.  Any pax choosing to do so, will proceed at their own risk.  Your safety is not F3’s responsibility, but is our priority and all pax are encouraged to modify as necessary.  We are not professionals and F3 does not endorse the statements above nor recommends spending obscene sums of money, unless it’s at The F3 Gear Store or goruckdotcom (not a paid promotion).