Empire Strikes Black Ice

Empire Strikes Black Ice

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Wild Turkey has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Stone-Hoth-enge.

The evil lord Darth Helmet, obsessed with finding young(ish) Wild Turkey, has dispatched thousands of backblasts and into the far reaches of space….

Camera zooms to Wild Turkey and Lex “Solo” Luthor riding tautauns for a pre-run. Along the way Lex wryly states, “There isn’t enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser.” No sooner did he finish his words, did Happy “Wampa” Meal emerged from a snow drift . The trio return to the rebel base to find it bustling with hearty soldiers emerging from ice-crusted vehicles. Without warning, the AO is under attack from Empire Star Destroyers who’ve located the pax. With shields breaking down and an ion cannon providing cover, the rebels narrowly escape. “You will go to the Dagobah Parking Garage”, whispers the voice of Luke’s fallen Jedi Master O-Mr. Bean Kenobi. Training proves difficult. A despondent Turkey is told by Yoda, “Do or do not, there is no modification!” INSERT training montage with Turkey  and Pax swinging on vines, doing flips and running with Yoda in a rucksack.  Their Jedi training (nearly) complete the pax zoom to Cloud City with the promise of safety. Despite the pax’s best efforts, the crew end the workout in peril. Lex in carbonite, Turkey missing a hand and working out daddy issues, and a besmirched Tagalong who after declaring his love to Lex was given a smirk and told, “I know.” Awkward. Tune into 1983 when the Pax fly to Endor to learn to prepare for GoRuck by carrying logs with Ewoks.

SSH, horizontal SSH (snow-angels), mountain climbers and plank jacks

Tusken Raider Sand(people) bags
Thrusters, flutter press, curl & press, sit-ups

Dagobah Parking deck
20 push-ups, 20 squats and 20 lunges each level going up
Burpee elevator 10 – 6 going down
assorted wall work – air press, donkey kicks, shoulder taps + Mary going up
Polar bear crawl challenge in the snow at top
Burpee elevator going down 6 -1

Return home and endex. 3+ miles  ran.

I was truly relieved and flattered by the strong showing. Thank you for braving the weather. The veteran crew put in the work this morning!

  • Great to see Site-Q emeritus JRR Tolkein and 2.0 Simba! Kudos for raising the new generation of HIMs.
  • Happy Meal gets a gold star for a solo 2 mile pre-run. (And nice vest Happy Meal.)
  • Tagalong invented a new slow-plow move on the bear crawl. His full snowmobile suit may have helped.
  • Nutmeggers Lex and Billygoat had no issue with weather. Billygoat even did burpees with us.
  • Snowflake laughed at the paltry snow and crushed the workout.
  • Teddy has put in the work and dropping weight and pant sizes

May the force be with you!


About the author

WildTurkey author

SOB, Stonehenge Co-Site Q

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