School of Hard Rocks

School of Hard Rocks

Oh, you were looking for rock jokes? Let’s see what we can dig up

The Thang

Mosey to side of bank for warmup. Pass the mic to Franky for his first lead! ssh’s, Peter Parker, mtn. climbers, imperial walkers, merkins. Mosey to rock pile by nail salon. 5 jump squats/5 merkins at every road crossing.

Rock Circuit 1: 5 man makers OYO. Partner 1 runs the parking lot while Partner 2 chips away at 100 curls, 100 press, 100 tricep extensions. Flip and repeat.

Rock Circuit 2: 1 partner chips away at 50 american hammers while partner 2 bear crawls and pushes rock to opposite curb. Pick up rock and relieve partner 1.

Rock Circuit 3: Wall of Pain: 1 partner is timer and does 10 cross over pushups on rock while partner 2 balls on the wall. Repeat sequence, but with wall sit and rock over head

Repeat same sequence above, with slight modifications (shorter running loop, bent over rows, goblet squats, ground pounders)

Schoolyard favorite final exercise with our happy little slabs of earth – Rock, Rock, Goose. Circle up and hold people’s chair with rock. In clockwise motion, first pax puts rock down, runs circle and resumes the position. It’s a hard rock life for us…

Goodbye dear rock friends. For it is time to mosey home. Repeat 5 jump squats/5 merkins all the way back, this time hitting 6 stops. Regular plank, 6-inches, regular plank until TIME


  • YHC really wanted to challenge himself with a full rock-themed beatdown. I love the simple and primitive nature of exercising with rocks. I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative
  • Franky’s lead was solid, and his counting is nearly impeccable! The slower counting cadence definitely increased the challenge factor and we were all feeling each exercise. He’s ready to Q a full workout in no time. Appreciate Kirby for showing up early this morning to help out and warmup with us before dipping out for yard sale prep.
  • YHC built on the geological theme with a classic Rock playlist. I admitted to Trickle on the final mosey that I had to Google a playlist since I didn’t really grow up with this music in the house and haven’t gotten into it. Trickle nearly fell over on the sidewalk in disbelief, crying blasphemy. Between his comical jabs and lively grunting Trickle is a key piece of the Da Vinci experience. I’ll never take him for granite.
  • The Da Vinci experience is better with Olaf back in the rotation after an extended absence. I see why he’s named after the Disney character, as he’s always smiling in good humor and willing to lend a hand.
  • Credit to War Eagle for the clever backblast title. He had a quick quip in response to my rock, rock goose introduction as a favorite pastime during elementary school days. It definitely beat out countless inappropriate alternatives related to general hardness.
  • T-100 and Jonny-5 continue to impress. Crushing the day and getting more done in a single workout than what most peers of their age will do in an entire weekend. Studs!
  • At one point YHC found himself across from Soft Pretzel during the wall sits with rock above head. Disaster averted as he nearly smashed the glass behind him. Props to Soft Pretzel for crushing this workout after Qing Last Call yesterday, which focused a heavy dose of kettlebells and upper body work. Always leading the pack and barely breaking a sweat.
  • Announcements: Ragnar Race, B-double E-double-R-U-N, Gently Used shoe collection with Cheese Curd
  • YHC took us out.

May the quartz be with you!

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