Kiss the Pole

Kiss the Pole

YHC has made 6 trips to St. Louis since the beginning of December in a vain attempt to closeout the Project From Hell aka Satan’s Spawn aka Shoot Me Now.  As a result, YHC’s fitness level has steadily declined into Code Red territory meaning an intervention was needed.  Nothing like a Rock Zero Q to get back in the sweaty saddle.  After a deficient disclaimer, 18 PAX launched towards greatness at 0700 sharp, notwithstanding Deep Dish and Bounce’s notable absence.

Mosey to the artificial turf courtyard for COP – IW, Shoulder Tap Merkins, LS Jump Squats, MC, Runner’s Lunge Stretch

At some point, DD and Bounce graced the PAX with their presence, immediately hurtling insults towards YHC in a pathetic effort to thwart Q greatness.  Epic fail.  Let’s mosey to our destiny at the top of the Five Knolls, shall we?

3’s, 3’s, and more 3’s…. sort of like Steph Curry.

• Top of the Five Knolls — Merkins, Squats, Diamond Merkins — 10 ea.
• Bottom of the Five Knolls — LBCs, H2H, Peter Parker — 10 ea.
• Rinse and Repeat 3x

The PAX visited each cul-de-sac before departing the beloved Knolls, stopping for Merkins, Lunges, and Rosalitas.

Mosey to the big arse rock pile in front of the church.  Grab a lifting rock large enough to deflect juvenile criticism.

• Arm stuff
• Hot lap
• Leg stuff
• Hot lap
• Core stuff
• Hot lap

Horsehead muttered “it’s as if he planned an all body workout.”  Better to be lucky than good, YHC always says.

Mosey to the frozen tundra and partner up for Grinders w/a Twist.  YHC explained that his 9th grade baseball coach would randomly yell “Kiss the Pole!!!!” during practice, at which time you had to drop what you were doing and sprint like your hair was on fire to a faraway power pole on the back 40 of McClintock Junior High’s property.  God help you if you were last, as YHC often was, because ridicule and calisthenics awaited your return.  Harkening back to those wonderful memories, YHC called “Kiss the Pole” 2x during Grinders.  Because we never truly graduate or mature, YHC realized this exclamation lent itself to immediate and ruthless ridicule from this particular PAX.  Use your imagination as to what was said even in the presence of a minor.  Next time, YHC will call “Slap the Fence” or whatever, anything other than “Kiss the Pole.”  Lesson learned.

Mosey to Launch, stopping for 5 Merkins at each speed hump.

Mary

Done

Moleskinny

Not much to add to the abovementioned summary, other than to say it was an honor (sort of) to lead this group.  Thanks to Geraldo for the opportunity.  There was an absolute hilarious and disparaging comment made about SOB during COT, but decorum prevents its repetition here (thanks, Bounce).  It’s all about unity, you know?  Everyone got after this workout.  You either bring your A game to the Five Knolls, or you go home crying for mommy.  Mucho respect to Mr. Magoo, Hopper, O’Tannenbaum, and Snowflake.  Well done, men.

Time to book YHC’s next trip to STL….

JF