See, what had happened was, the manly men got back from the pre-run to find a clip-boarding pair of interlopers desecrating hallowed Meathead ground: a man and woman (!) squealing to some synth-pop ear candy and romping about on the sinful side of 0.0. We about had a power-snapping donnybrook right there from the get go. Instead, we decided to mock from a distance (just loud enough to let them know we were talking about them, but quiet enough so they wouldn’t make it out and come beat us up), then rammed a snoot-full of High T pheromones right up their beaks with some Led Zeppelin (Moby Dick, all the way to 11), full body ewections (as my grad school TA would say), and a humped monkey or 12 in their general direction. The alpha dominance of 10 prostrate men, loins to the sky, was on full display. (Pro-tip: any time you can use plump, moist or loins in a BB, traffic increases a Hops-approved 13%. Spackler knows.) Bulldog finished them off with seated KB skull crushers. Which reminds me, you still owe me two Shake Weights, you wanker. Which also reminds me, can we call you Wanker again?
Today was the third press day (of 9) on the road to increased pep and vigor. If you’re not lifting cars off children and wearing burlap underwear by the end of this program, that’s on you. Horsehead’s over there getting his EyeBro’s swolt pressing double 45s. That’s like one and a half turkey legs–right up over his head. Speaking of, it’s easy (and fun) to belittle TL (see what I did there?). Just off the top of my head I think he’s been likened to Lawn Darts, midget-wrestlers, summer sausages, elves on shelves, and those monkeys that ride the little bikes and smoke Marlboro Lights. But I’ll tell you this: pound for pound, that’s one strong sum beach. He’s punching double 35’s to the sky like he just nailed the dismount. That’s more than 50% of his body weight–better than the rest of us chumps.
Only 3 Horsemen of the Southern Babdis Convention today: our boy Piggly went AWOL. Remember, you only get Greenbacks if you post. Don’t miss the girl riding the ironing board on page 131.
Your playlist HERE.
The third squat day will end Cycle 1 this Saturday at ELE at 0630. Pre-run at 0600. We will make quick work of the program and then move right into Prowler and Heavy Carries. Li’l Runstopper needs a hug.
*Results vary. Only valid in Sumter County, Effingham, and the Scape Ore Swamp.
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