María María

  • When:10/27/2015
  • QIC: Kirk
  • The PAX: One Eye, Voodoo, Ickey Shuffle, Daisy, Kirk

María María

Thanks, #Cantore!  No rain this AM, so great morning for a small group of 5 to hit it hard, and we did, tackling the previously nameless workout of Sundancer.


Partner up. Everything matters.

Hang a right on Rea and run to the Harris Teeter and WAIT DON’T START RUNNING BACK.
Burpees OYO at the corner of Rea and Colony until the 6 arrives.

Run to the first telephone pole, flip to backwards run to second telephone pole – 10 good form merkins.
Forwards run to the next telephone pole, then backwards run to the next10 flutters (per leg).
Run forward, run backward – 7 burpees.
Rinse repeat – forwards/backwards/merkins/flutters/burpees
Mix in a little partner accountability check at each named side street – 10 dumbocrats.

Do it all over again on the way back from 51 to the corner of Rea and Colony.

*All exercises completed and back at OP parking lot in the 45 minutes time allotment.


Small group today, which given the weather forecast was not unexpected.  We were treated to relatively perfect conditions – cool but not cold without rain.  Sidewalks were a little damp, but not really wet.  YHC partnered up with One Eye, resulting in a 3ndr (not gonna link it) for Voodoo, Ickey, and Daisy.  They didn’t complain.  I have no idea how dumbocrats worked – but I’m told they took turns and avoided eye contact.  One Eye crossed the tape at 6:14, and my watch literally flipped to 6:15 as I crossed from the sidewalk onto the blacktop.  Others came in at 6:18.  This is a stupid, brutally effective workout.  I need a nap.

Now on to the name. Sundancer created this thing, and it is pretty much Godawful with a capital G. +/- 3.5 miles of running, of which +/- 1 mile is backwards, 100+ burpees, 150+ merkins and flutters (honestly I stopped counting), and more dumbocrats than seem warranted. The naming is an attempt to honor both Sundancer’s “smf”artsack – supposedly recovering from “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” – and my partner One Eye, who was the first to successfully complete it within time (edged me on the run back). For those that may remember the amazing story, María is the name of the mistress of former SC Governor Mark Sanford, and the confluence of someone missing due to “hiking”, being led by One Eye, etc., the name just seems to fit. Plus, thanks to Santana, it’s catchy enough to remember.

Now, what follows is long, Mud Run related, and something that I don’t want to say but feel the need to say.  Stop reading and skip to the end if you don’t care.

Part of what I’ve gotten out of F3 is this awareness that we have a responsibility to step into situations when they see something that “isn’t right” and attempt to “make it right”, or at least try to speak the truth in love.  We’ve got to reject passivity, which is something that I often attempt to hide as just being laid back, and sometimes step into things that can get a little messy.

There have been several comments and jokes in the days since the Mud Run (#5minutesoff, #colarules, etc.), but they are mostly from folks that weren’t there.  I was.  There were four F3 teams that finished essentially together.  At least two, likely three, of these teams made the same mistake on the poorly marked course, taking a right instead of a left at the creek.  One of these teams immediately complained, right after crossing the finish line, and had their time changed because of it.  I’m not trying to throw blame at them for doing it as they definitely did lose time due to a poorly marked course.  Another team had a chip malfunction, showing a time of +/- 40 minutes as their initial “official” time.  They were honest about it being wrong.  I have no idea what their true time should be, but I know that the current official time of 51+ minutes is likely not correct.  How?  The teams went off in order.  Team 42 (A51), Team 43 (Cola), Team 44 (Metro), Team 46 (Fort), and Team 48 (Metro) all started within a few minutes of each other.  Team 48 was the first to the finish line, followed closely by teams 44, 43, and 42, and they were the last of those teams to start.  I do not remember seeing team 46 finish, but if they started on time, they would still be behind team 48.  {Full disclosure – I was on team 44 that ran with Metro due to preferences of some teammates, and I’m a site Q for A51.  I split time between the two “regions”.  I’m proud of the race we ran, but we legitimately lost to Team 48.  The other teams raced well also, and probably did lose more time than we did at the creek (we stopped, half went left and half right, then saw other teams coming back and all went left).  As other teams that spent far longer going the wrong way in the creek can attest (several teams with fast guys that had 1:10 plus), we all ran the same course with the same minimal, confusing lack of direction at certain places.  Team 48 just happened to be the first F3 team to the finish line.}  So for what it is worth, which isn’t much, congrats to Team 48 “Biscuit”:  EZ Rings, Wolf, Giselle, and Mr. Bo (redundant parenthetical, but it was really great to see my old Sparta buddy Mr. Bo out there.  Really have been praying for you, brother!  That’s more worthy of celebration).

And finally, I want to put this in the proper context, as it pales in comparison to the awesome sight of seeing guys from Cola and a few from Metro running with the guys from The Mission.  That’s of much greater long term significance and worthy of celebration.  Great job, men!  So if you’re reading this in Charlotte, make some time this fall to head out to Mission I’m Possible, Billingsville, Bulldogs Matter at AG, Church on the Street (another coming up this Sunday, join me), Alexander Youth Network, etc.  Go give it away (Mark 10:45).


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Nancy Drew
Nancy Drew
8 years ago

Kirk, well said regarding the Mud Run. It’s easy to lose sight of the larger purpose when focused on personal results. I’m definitely guilty of that.

8 years ago

Great workout this morning at the SOFAWIB. Your name was very creative and went down a nice rabbit hole, but I stand by my name of “I hate you, Sundancer.” I’m sure he will understand and take that as a compliment.

As for the Mud Run, I was there and got lost in the creek for a really long time, but it was still better than running so I’m not complaining. It was great to see so many PAX from all over F3 Nation and to finally get to experience what I’d heard so much about. I ran with a great team and I’m already looking forward to the Spring. Hopefully the Marines will have installed better signage by then. Better yet, get the guy from the three sand hills obstacle to take over the creek obstacle where he can yell directions at you while simultaneously curing you out for being old and slow.

Reply to  Voodoo
8 years ago

That marine was awesome. He was yelling at one of our guys (Doobie) bc he has gray hair (“Show these young guys how the old guys do it!!!!”). Another marine made us yell “America!” over and over.

8 years ago

In spite of all the confusion at the end of the race, it was still a ton of fun. Proud of our team (Kirk, Agony, and Doobie) and how we finished and how we ran that race!

It was great to see Voodoo, Champagne, Icicle, Mermaid, and all the other A51 guys as well. Also, I randomly saw my high school principal. He does F3 down in Florence.

Great BB Kirk and great explanation of what happened after the finish line. Thank you for stepping up and graciously speaking out.

Hated to miss you guys this morning but M had to leave for work at 6am. Also, love the name.

Ickey Shuffle
8 years ago

Could someone please tell me the origin and etymology of the dumbocrat? It’s an exercise I was not familiar with previously.

Ickey Shuffle
Reply to  Kirk
8 years ago

Fun times indeed. I’m sure Voodoo & Daisy were thrilled to have my big wet clown feet on their backs this morning!

8 years ago

TL;DR – So my baby got named after a song from West Side Story?

Reply to  Kirk
8 years ago

It’s a broadway show. Sundancer is quite cultured.

8 years ago

First and foremost, t-claps to One-Eye and Kirk for completing the workout. Obviously Swiper was slowing him down.
Next, t-claps to you guys for still running the workout. I had been looking forward to this for weeks and was bummed to miss it. The Blue Ridge was awesome though.
Lastly, the Q calendar is wide open and I demand you grab a spot and bring your worst, stupidest weinke to the SOFAWIB.

8 years ago

#spilledmilk #mudrungate

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