Light Rocks



Light Rocks

12 PAX congregated in the misty, cold gloom of Calvary Church’s lower (or upper, or east, or west??) parking lot to strive for Rock Zero excellence under the watchful tutelage of YHC. Predictions of torrential rain and bitter (well, maybe not bitter, but we are living in the South, so anything sub 40 may be considered bitter) cold could not deter this PAX gaggle from launching forward into the puddle laden asphalt jungle (after a legally sound, awe inspiring disclaimer, of course). To the front courtyard we moseyed…

If you are reading this back blast and are in possession of Auburn level math skills, you will notice that 12 PAX launched, but alas 15 PAX are listed. How does one explain the difference? Mix the following ingredients to achieve PAX growth: a) Gummy Q at nearby AO, b) No advertising by Gummy for his own Q, c) No Weinke by Gummy for his own Q. Presto! An impromptu convergence between Rock Zero and Ascent! Glad to have you, brothers, and glad that Gummy, Baracus, and Ductwork experienced RZ glory as opposed to Ascent chaos. Plan the work, work the plan.

Back to the workout… Seriously, though, we all know what happened, so must we repeat it in this forum? Plus, it is late on Sunday night, and YHC is fairly whooped from running an unpaid Uber service for the non-driving little people that live in my house, and to think these same little people expect food and shelter in return! But I digress… For you technocrats and rule followers (YHC was once a proud member), following is a loose, succinct outline of the exquisitely planned workout: COP (merkin and squat laden), Median Ladder (ditto), Hot Box (ditto, but added a “power” step up – tremendous), Rock Pile near baseball field (wait, was this supposed to be a Light Day??), Rock Pile at front of church (lunges w/ a twist – PAX favorite – “bad idea” uttered Gummy), People’s Chair at Astroturf Courtyard, Hot Box (Weinke had expired with 20 minutes remaining), Rock Pile near baseball field, AYG to Launch. Mary sprinkled in throughout the workout for good measure. COT

YHC is believes in calling cadence for as many exercises as possible in order to keep the PAX engaged, minimize cheating, and eliminating Clemson Tiger mumble chatter. Because Lord knows YHC has been inundated with the latter since a certain game was played in early January. Although YHC showed grace in sharing the AO with ill prepared Gummy, nevertheless a “Go Tigers” was issued by said Gummy early in the workout. Point taken. Again. Got it. Message received. Crystal Clear. In the immortal words of Chet Donnelly (RIP Bill Paxton) from the John Hughes (RIP) classic “Weird Science”, “Don’t you know… how disrespectful that is??” And by the way, the Kandy Bar scene from “Weird Science” is pure cinematic gold. “Fats, man, let me tell you my story.” It is Oscar night, after all.

Kotters to Cottonmouth (torn hip flexor) and Rachel (torn labrum) for posting after battling tough injuries and extensive rehab. Rachel sustained his injury during a Spartan Race. Much respect. Cottonmouth sustained his injury while kicking a soccer ball. No words. Purell aka Usain Bolt, Rachel, Marge (another Clemson grad) and Sprockets (adequately dosed on pre-workout amphetamines; M is a Clemson grad) led the running portions. Gummy’s speed has increased significantly, or maybe YHC has slowed. Either way, strong work by the Weinke-less wonder. Ductwork (yes, Clemson, Good Lord…), Runstopper (black panther tights), Cottonmouth (you are NOT Messi) and Baracus (Stonehaven resident aka where YHC was raised) put in solid work. Marlin (respect, the silent assassin), BLC (respect, world class merkin form), Hoover (Trader Joe’s loves this guy), and Geraldo (Ruck Master) made it happen towards to rear of the PAX. Elsa continues to grapple with his Disney Princess name, but such is your cross to bear. Great work by the entire PAX today.

It is always an honor to Q this AO. F3 is a blessing to countless men across the USA, YHC included.

Announcements: Joe Davis Run, Beer Mile (Slack)

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Gummy
5 years ago

Listen, I absolutely had a plan for Ascent. I have the text messages to prove it. Item #1 on the weinke was to go to RockZero. I expected a light turnout due to weather, but I could’ve pulled out my magnificent weinke if I needed to. When it was just Baracus and Ductwork, it was an easy call.

Jet Fuel led a great 35 minute workout. He could’ve used some tips from Brushback who led a full workout of time killers at Base Camp this morning. I mean, the first exercise after the warmup was Ring of Fire. It was impressive.

Hat tip to Elsa for fighting through every week. He’s definitely getting faster. And it was great to see Rachel back out there. He’s still really fast. Purell was happy that the bromance is back on.

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