Author Archive midriff

Bros, Blocks, Bridgehampton

What a pleasant surprise to arrive in the clubhouse parking lot and see not just 1 pax, but 2 pax and another three in tow for the preun! Lo and behold Brexit’s scorching preblast trivia is not in vain – Fire Hazard has indeed made his triumphant return. This was YHC’s first opportunity to meet in the gloom, as we had only connected over Zoom. Shortly after exchanging pleasantries and receiving the blessing of a pleasant Lancaster County officer on duty, we are off into the cool dark of Bridgehampton hills. Instantly my plans to navigate towards the nearby elementary school are foiled. Brexit informs me of a recent neighborhood lawsuit that have blocked off the direct access point to the school from neighborhood. Well shucks, I guess we’ll just run up and down the hills and hit as many culdesacs as we can until returning to launch a few minutes before main event.

Main Event

With the rest of the dream team assembled we count off in 2’s. Team 1 shares 1 cinder block, Team 2 shares another cinder block. The block must be carried by a team member at all times. We begin our warmup and get familiar with the same exercises we will be doing for the next 35 minutes. 5 burpees, 10 squats at cone 1. 15 MC’s, 10 squats at cone 2. 20 merkins, 10 squats at cone 3.

Now that we’re warmed up, make our way down the hill, doing more reps in sequence at each cone. 5 burpees, 20 squats, 15 MC’s, 20 squats, 20 merkins, 20 squats. Work as a team and pass the block. Team 2 kicks off Mary at the bottom of the hill while waiting on Team 1. Repeat same sequence back up the hill. Finish with Mary.

Mosey over to North Carolina basketball court. Modified Killer B’s. Pay homage to the Sixers failed process with Dwight Howards instead of burpees. 1 Dwight Howard, then broad jump to FT line, bear crawl back. 2 Dwight howards, broad jump to half court, bear crawl back. 3 Dwight Howards, broad jump full court and bear crawl back. Mosey back to parking lot for 1 shortened final set


  • Fantastic to meet the man, the myth, the legend Fire Hazard for the first time. Dude hasn’t skipped a beat and continues to crush beatdowns. During the prerun he nonchalantly shared that he routinely runs 9 miles 3 times a week. Didn’t even break a sweat during this workout. This man came out swinging with the zingers too, from calling out my form (“Can I get another demonstration of that thrust???”) to repeatedly jabbing Cobbler for his finance-related prowess.
  • Speaking of Cobbler, I lost track after 15 of the number of times I heard the word “container”. Something related to the Suez Canal and bitcoin. If you need investment guidance, make sure to ask Cobbler about how to buy bitcoin with your Biden stimulus money. Buy high, sell low! Congrats on the new job opportunity and look forward to hearing more.
  • The Bridgehampton Bunch continue to impress, showing more stamina, endurance and explosive strength with each workout. Myrtle and Inkwell were putting in solid work on Team 1 while Schooner and Toro rounded out the Team 2 crowd. Can’t wait to see these men step up and lead a workout soon.
  • Since there was no shortage of entertaining conversation at Team 1, I didn’t have a chance to overhear much of Team 2’s mumblechatter.
  • While I lamented the absolute collapse of the Philadelphia 76ers against the Atlanta Hawks, War Eagle had a fantastic dig against KD. With a straight face and his toe on the line he asked if this would alter the outcome of the next called exercise. Fortunately War Eagle doesn’t have size 18 shoes so I think he’s ok on that one.
  • With plenty of grunting down the final stretch of cinder block exercises, YHC affirmed the importance of modifying as needed, but to not compromise good form. Loved Kirby’s quip about never cheating on form, just on reps. I’m gonna steal that one.
  • Got to catch up with Gimbells afterwards. Rest up that knee/ankle and hope you can join us back in the gloom soon.
  • There’s a beautiful simplicity of a concrete block. 28 pounds of mundane material that’s not too heavy but not too light and the perfect addition to any beatdown. F3 has given me a more profound appreciation for the simplicity of fitness and along with it the key to sustained accelerating behavior. Sharing the physical suffering of these workouts with other men. A single cinder block is pretty pointless and ineffective, but lots of cinder blocks together make a strong fortress and serve a greater purpose. I’m grateful for the men that challenge me physically at these workouts and sharpen my mind, spirit and soul for even greater present and future challenges.
  • Always a privilege and honor to lead such fine SOB’s


  • Monday, July 5th 2.0/young-at-heart friendly workout and kickball game. Ballantyne Backyard, see War Eagle’s preblast – it’s going to be a blast
  • Waxhaw 1776 workout/celebration. Something about running 177 miles then doing 6 exercises. Or running 1 mile and then doing 776 exercises. It doesn’t make sense to me, but maybe it will if you show up.
  • Q school coming up in July

The Floater is a basketball shot, right??

It’s not every day that you get to post or even Q at an AO named after feces. So when Zin invited me down South, how could I resist?

The Thang

  • With DICCS given and toilet humor in mind, we moseyed towards the Waxhaw Park circles, completing 10 merkins at every stop sign
  • Warmup: 15 ssh, 15 imperial walkers, 15 squats, 15 merkins, 15 mtn climbers
  • Upper Body Circuit: Partner 1 runs circle while Partner 2 does called exercise. Declined merkins, dips and inclined merkins
  • Mosey to South Providence school basketball court. 10 merkins at every stop sign and 5 bobby hurley’s at every other mailbox
  • Killer B’s on the basketball court: Burpees on base line (10, 5, 5, 10) broad jump to free throw, half-court, free throw and full-court, bear crawling back each time. This sucked
  • Mosey around school track, stopping for 25 monkey humpers and 30 plankjacks
  • Mosey back to Waxhaw park, merkins at each stop sign and bobby hurley’s at every other mailbox
  • Leg Circuit: Partner 1 runs circle while partner 2 does called exercise. Bonnie Blairs, Squats and Smurf Jacks

Index Card Weinke

It’s not about the size of the weinke, but how well you can use it. I’m about 40ish Q’s into my F3 journey and wanted to share my method for building simple, but effective beatdowns. This has been tremendously helpful for me to ensure I have the right amount of pain for the duration of a 45-minute workout and don’t leave anything on the table. When folded, it’s small enough to fit in a running shorts pocket and keep out of sight of those nosey pax trying to steal it away! Most of the time I don’t end up pulling it out mid-workout, but still helpful to have when I need to call an audible.

Step 1: Fold the index card into thirds. Front is for the bulk of the workout that I split into thirds. Back is for disclaimer, warmup exercises and any special instructions

Step 2: Use the front side to break up workout into thirds. I try to identify 1 circuit to burn out the upper body, 1 circuit to burn out the lower body and 1 circuit to burn out the lungs

Step 3: Allocate time for each third, keeping in mind exercises will take longer and adjust for time to mosey

Here are pictures for this morning’s card:


  • Thank the Lord for cooler temperatures this morning as I’m not sure I could have done this in the heat
  • Hoping the PAX enjoyed a trip further South and off the beaten path
  • The burpee train avoided us this morning by a solid 15 minutes. Sounds awful
  • Had some trouble counting mailboxes and listening to directions during the Killer B’s on the basketball court. But the pax made up for it with their solid effort
  • T claps to the pack of prerunners logging in the miles and coming back winded for launch
  • Always a privilege and honor to lead the fine men of Waxhaw

White Men Can’t Jump, But Wingman Can

7 ballers brought their balls to the Maul to give it their all.

Basketball Jones

Warmup: Circle up in front of Elm bridge, 15 SSH’s, 15 Imperial Walkers, 15 Mtn Climbers, 15 Hillbilly squats, 15 merkins. Mosey towards Murderhorne – PSYCH! Quick U-turn and head back to Regal parking lot, where there are four corners with cones placed.

First Quarter: BLIMPS ladder – 5 burpees, 10 lunges, 15 imperial walkers, 20 merkins, 25 plankjacks, 30 squats

Second Quarter: Killer B’s. Broad jump to island, 5 burpees, bear crawl to island, 5 burpees. Repeato, just half the parking lot.

Halftime: Partner up for Wilt Chamberlin 100’s. Partner 1 chips away at 100 jump squats, partner 2 runs up the hill.

Third Quarter: Gear AMRAP. Gear exercises: crossover pushups with basketball, curls, presses, tricep extensions with concrete blocks, bobby hurleys. Other partner runs to end of parking lot and back.

Fourth Quarter: Merkin ladder sprints. 5 then sprint, 10, 15, 20. Shuttle-run sprint, this time without the merkins.

Overtime: Partner up for another round of Wilt 100’s. Partner 1 chips away at 100 squats, partner 2 runs up the hill.

Game Notes

  • Props to Tuck for the inspiration. He led a basketball-themed workout last year during Virtual workouts and I loved the concept
  • Wingman needs to be renamed Jump Man after his broad jump prowess. He hopped twice the distance as everyone else in half the speed. Next time I’ll bring a hoop so he can dunk on us
  • Olaf was absolutely amped at COT when he ripped his shirt and threw it to the ground. He’s got a new level of confidence and testosterone after getting back in the swing of regularly posting and Qing
  • Picasso you should come to Da Vinci on Saturdays. Just sayin
  • T-claps to Crockett for posting for the first time in nearly 2 years. Glad you made it out this morning and shared your incredible story. Good to have you back in the gloom and hoping you’ll accept my Slack invite
  • Props to Teddy for posting after getting back from vacation. Either the vacation or side effects from the 2nd dose had him catching his breath for most of the second half.
  • Loogie’s jeep nearly got stolen by some shady teenagers who were hanging out in the parking lot before and during the workout. Might be time to take up Teddy’s innovative key-hiding technique. Don’t worry Teddy, I won’t give away your secrets.

School of Hard Rocks

Oh, you were looking for rock jokes? Let’s see what we can dig up

The Thang

Mosey to side of bank for warmup. Pass the mic to Franky for his first lead! ssh’s, Peter Parker, mtn. climbers, imperial walkers, merkins. Mosey to rock pile by nail salon. 5 jump squats/5 merkins at every road crossing.

Rock Circuit 1: 5 man makers OYO. Partner 1 runs the parking lot while Partner 2 chips away at 100 curls, 100 press, 100 tricep extensions. Flip and repeat.

Rock Circuit 2: 1 partner chips away at 50 american hammers while partner 2 bear crawls and pushes rock to opposite curb. Pick up rock and relieve partner 1.

Rock Circuit 3: Wall of Pain: 1 partner is timer and does 10 cross over pushups on rock while partner 2 balls on the wall. Repeat sequence, but with wall sit and rock over head

Repeat same sequence above, with slight modifications (shorter running loop, bent over rows, goblet squats, ground pounders)

Schoolyard favorite final exercise with our happy little slabs of earth – Rock, Rock, Goose. Circle up and hold people’s chair with rock. In clockwise motion, first pax puts rock down, runs circle and resumes the position. It’s a hard rock life for us…

Goodbye dear rock friends. For it is time to mosey home. Repeat 5 jump squats/5 merkins all the way back, this time hitting 6 stops. Regular plank, 6-inches, regular plank until TIME


  • YHC really wanted to challenge himself with a full rock-themed beatdown. I love the simple and primitive nature of exercising with rocks. I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative
  • Franky’s lead was solid, and his counting is nearly impeccable! The slower counting cadence definitely increased the challenge factor and we were all feeling each exercise. He’s ready to Q a full workout in no time. Appreciate Kirby for showing up early this morning to help out and warmup with us before dipping out for yard sale prep.
  • YHC built on the geological theme with a classic Rock playlist. I admitted to Trickle on the final mosey that I had to Google a playlist since I didn’t really grow up with this music in the house and haven’t gotten into it. Trickle nearly fell over on the sidewalk in disbelief, crying blasphemy. Between his comical jabs and lively grunting Trickle is a key piece of the Da Vinci experience. I’ll never take him for granite.
  • The Da Vinci experience is better with Olaf back in the rotation after an extended absence. I see why he’s named after the Disney character, as he’s always smiling in good humor and willing to lend a hand.
  • Credit to War Eagle for the clever backblast title. He had a quick quip in response to my rock, rock goose introduction as a favorite pastime during elementary school days. It definitely beat out countless inappropriate alternatives related to general hardness.
  • T-100 and Jonny-5 continue to impress. Crushing the day and getting more done in a single workout than what most peers of their age will do in an entire weekend. Studs!
  • At one point YHC found himself across from Soft Pretzel during the wall sits with rock above head. Disaster averted as he nearly smashed the glass behind him. Props to Soft Pretzel for crushing this workout after Qing Last Call yesterday, which focused a heavy dose of kettlebells and upper body work. Always leading the pack and barely breaking a sweat.
  • Announcements: Ragnar Race, B-double E-double-R-U-N, Gently Used shoe collection with Cheese Curd
  • YHC took us out.

May the quartz be with you!

Small and Intimate

Rousey threw Taco Stand and YHC a curve ball this morning when he drove into the Gibson lot on two wheels with 70’s R&B love songs playing. It really set the mood for what was a small, but intimate setting for some solid 1st F and even better 2nd F.

The Thang

  • Warmup: mosey to lot behind Wingate University building for 1 burpee, 10 low-slow squats, 2 burpees, 20 merkins, 3 burpees, 10 low-slow squats, 4 burpees, 30 LBC’s, 5 burpees. Mosey to Hampton, rotate between 5 merkins/5 squats at each light post
  • Hampton Hill: 10 LBC’s, run up the hill, 20 LBC’s, down the hill, 30 LBC’s, up the hill, finish with 40 LBC’s. Mosey across Johnston and stop in middle of traffic circle.
  • 10 Derkins, run clockwise, 10 Inclined merkins, run clockwise, 10 diamond merkins, run clockwise, 10 wide arm merkins. LBC’s then repeat clock again, but doing 5 reps each and remove the run. Mosey to nature trail behind Pike’s. Headlamps on, run to parking lot off Johnston Road.
  • 4 Corners: 10 merkins, 5 burpees, 20 LBC’s, 5 burpees, 30 squats, 5 burpees, 40 LBC’s, 5 burpees. Mosey back on Johnston to SpringHill Suites parking lot. 1 burpee, bear crawl to next line, 2 squats, bear crawl to next line, 3 merkins, bear crawl to next line. Repeat for 20 spaces. Mosey back to launch, doing 5 merkins/5 squats for 10 light posts
  • Mary for last three minutes: protractor, more LBC, freddie mercury, regular plank, elbow plank


  • YHC wanted to craft a “simple” and low-stress workout in light of WTF race happening tomorrow. Easier said than done. Simple workouts are rarely easy workouts. I stuck with 4 basic exercises and attempted not to deviate. 4.27 miles later I was winded and dripping in sweat.
  • During one of our first moseys, I quizzed Rousey and Taco Stand on the mission of F3 and focused on the “grow” component towards invigorating male community leadership. Growth happens through depth and width. Building deeper bonds with each other and inviting new brothers and friends into the fold.
  • T-claps to Taco Stand for making his first post since extended vacation. I know you enjoyed this one buddy ;D
  • T-claps for Rousey and Taco Stand for opening up to share life stories. YHC left encouraged, humbled and immensely grateful for both of you. When you’re running next to them at an upcoming workout, ask them some questions. Both have much wisdom and encouragement to share.
  • Shoutout to Mary Kay for the glam shot of Taco Stand and YHC afterwards. One day we’ll make it into the Ballantyne Magazine. One day….


Midriff vs. Midriff

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If a #CSAUP happens with one person, does it happen at all?

How do we really know this Midriff guy isn’t full of crap and just faking the whole thing???

Looking good a few weeks before the event with 20 PAX expressing interest and identifying 4/17 as a probable date. Keep the memes coming and guerilla advertising rolling, but doubts begin to sink in. More resounding endorsements for the event just pile onto the reality that no one will be joining YHC in this unruly expedition:

  • Joker – “South Mountain… as in Rea Road? Midriff… nothing says CSAUP like a solo adventure. Imagine the stories you can tell at the next beer mile.”
  • Flipper – “Somebody, ANYBODY, ppppuuuuuhlease go run the mountains with Midriff. I’m almost tempted to skip Ville to Ville so he won’t do it alone, but then Hoover would eat me.”
  • Unplugged – “Something about Midriff running the Appalachian Trail all in one day all by himself. He may need some buddies, a Kind bar, and/or medical attention or a helicopter or maybe somebody take him out for a beer instead.”
  • Hoover – “Forrest “Midriff” Gump is running on a mountain alone”

This event in 2020 was genuinely one of the highlights of the year. I wanted to share that similar experience with others this time around. After plugging this thing for months not a single soul joined in. I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I was beating myself up. I began comparing myself to other PAX and wondering what went wrong. I nearly took a few PAX up on the recommendation to simply cancel this year and pick it up again next year. My mind and spirit was in a dark place. Literally on the drive out Saturday morning I nearly turned around and threw in the towel, accepting logical defeat.

But I kept driving. While strapping on my pack and tying up my shoe laces, I realized my motivation to do this thing would have to come solely from inside. YHC would have to dig deep and confront the loudest voices of doubt and questioning largely on his own. You vs. you in the truest sense. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Midriff vs. Midriff

The Thang

  • Depart from High Shoals Parking lot at 0745. Nothing wakes you up in the morning like ascending 2,600 feet in the first hour. Unbridled optimism as I’m trotting on the ridgeline and taking in the gorgeous views. Back in the parking lot in 2 hours and 20 minutes. Didn’t see a single person on the trail. Loop 1 complete. 12 miles done. I just might be able to do this thing.
  • Stretch, load up on carbs, fuel and water before starting Loop 2. 20 minutes in and the calves start to tense up. Am I even going to be able to finish the next 8 miles?? Continue climbing for another hour and a half. This elevation is killing me. I’m back in cell service and my phone dings with text messages. This chain from the M puts my “suffering” in perspective – “I’m in labor longer than you run… And I’ve done that three times… This is just prelabor… Don’t take the epidural…” Finish loop 2 around 12:30. At this point I’m sprawled out behind the trunk of my car, banana peels and water bottles scattered on the ground. Strangers give me odd looks and avoid eye contact. Timer’s up, it’s time to hit the trail for the dreaded Lap 3.
  • If lap 2 was when my legs started to falter, lap 3 was when my legs, mind and spirit began to quit. 4 miles in and I’m cramping in muscles I didn’t even know existed in my legs. Keep pounding fuel and fluids. Each mile is becoming a race within itself. What began as a run is now something between stumbling and walking. My mind is dizzy as each passing minute reminds me that my pace is slowing. Is this where my body quits on me? What happens if I pass out? Who will find me in this barren place? Will I ever finish? 1.6 miles out and I finally see a post for the parking lot. There is light at the end of this tunnel. But no adrenaline to get there. Continue my hobble down the mountain. Finally, that glorious white Sonata is in sight. Lap 3 is finished. 31.6 miles. 8 hours, 17 minutes and 49 seconds. 5,595 calories. I’m done. I collapse in the parking lot until gathering the strength to cool off and dip my feet in the creek.
  • Garmin details if you want proof: But does it count if it’s not on Strava?

Reflections from the Mountain

  • Trail runs are double-edged swords. Much more natural beauty, scenes and sounds to take in and pass the time. But with it, comes the elevation up and the elevation down. That up and down destroyed me. Three days later and I’m still having a hard time walking down stairs.
  • The Beer Mile prepared me this run. In the sense of forcing myself to drink liquids and fuel to keep the energy up. Major props to Olaf for setting me up with the right nutrients and gummies to keep pushing. Thankfully no adverse health effects ( explosive diarrhea) to report from the Hammer Electrolytes Extreme to report for you Gummy.
  • This is the farthest I’ve ever run in my life. I really didn’t train for this other than going to lots of workouts, CSAUP’s and general F3 nonsensical events. Looking back, events like last year’s South Mountain Run, Makeshift Marathon, Waxhaw World Tour and March Madness challenge all helped push me to the point of being able to do this. One of the greatest pieces of advice given to me when I was new to F3 was to just finish. Don’t get stuck with unrealistic goals. Or expect easy success. Trust the process of hard work and sacrifice. Enjoy the journey. Don’t stop moving. In the end running a 50k is a lot like a pull-up – the best way to get good at it is to just do it.
  • I do not recommend doing this alone. I appreciate the men who challenged me to do this, and those that challenged me not to do this. In the end I chose to do this after considering my limits, prepping lots of fuel/equipment (having it ready and waiting at the parking lot at the end of each lap) and having a cell phone on me in the event of emergency. And most of all, God’s good and common grace.
  • For sure it sucked at times to not have experienced this with others. But I’m okay with that. Running this race alone gave more opportunities to test myself mentally and confront the doubting voices and fears head-on. And in those hardest moments I had to rely on the encouragement of others. From my wife, from friends, from family. Fredo, I’ll never forget you challenging me when I led the cinder block workout last month to stop telling myself “I can’t ____”. That stuck with me. While I may have ran alone Saturday, I knew I had a small army of people supporting me.

I’m already stoked for South Mountain in 2022. To the mountains we will go. To lose our minds and find our souls.

Into the mountains I go to lose my mind and find my soul: South Mountain CSAUP

Rewind back to February 2020. YHC has posted three times, each at Da Vinci. The gloom is daunting and getting the best of me. I nearly puke and pass out during my first workout (Heartbreaker Q on 2/22/2020) and the early start times. I’m challenged, curious, but still on the fence about this whole F3 cult community. During coffeeteria at Chick-Fil-A (remember when we could do this?) a strange moniker is mentioned – #CSAUP

CSPAN? Surf’s up? Sippy cup? I’m lost. What is this strange term and foreign acronym? Why are so many acronyms part of the daily F3 experience? Did Flipper really get his name at a CSAUP by tossing himself over a wheelbarrow? Why is Tuck involved in every single F3 CSAUP ever held?

While my mind is still spinning, I am informed about a completely unofficial, yet highly organized trip to the mountains for a run. Free. Only cost is sacrificing to show up, experience discomfort and the risk of failure. I’m hooked.

Looking back over a year ago, CSAUP is what really sealed the deal for me to dive deeper into this eclectic community. It captures to me the essence of what High Impact Men are all about. Understanding that at times we need to push ourselves beyond the daily confines, the comforts of our regular existence to new heights. New places of existence that we can only experience when arms are locked with another accelerating man. 

Gentlemen, I bring you the South Mountain CSAUP. Your opportunity to find a new resilience, a new strength within you. The chance to experience the beauty of creation and be inspired by the Creator. The taste of no-bake cookies, packaged pickles and cool gatorade served up in the back of a pickup truck before ascending for another lap. 

“Into the mountains we go, to lose our minds and find our souls”

What: Hike/Run/Ruck 10/20/30 miles at South Mountains State Park in Connelly Springs (1.5 hours from South Charlotte)

Route: Create your own adventure between 3 different loops (11.7 miles, 10 miles, 9.5 miles – details below) covering a total of ~5900 feet of elevation gain. Each loop starts and ends at the parking lot where someone’s pickup truck will have water and snacks (see below, bring a snack) for refueling before your next loop.

When: Saturday, April 17th. Gates to the park open at 7. We will chat a little, stretch, name any FNG’s and then start running promptly at 0715

Where: South Mountains State Park, High Shoals Parking Area (

Cutoff: There’s no official cutoff as this is not an official run but the guy with the pickup truck has to leave by 3:00 so if you’re not done by then the snacks/water will be gone. Otherwise, you are responsible for getting yourself home anyway so nothing else changes.

Who: PAX and 2.0’s from wherever. This is going to be a fun day of running/hiking in the mountains with friends both new and old.

Cost: If you haven’t been paying attention, this is unorganized and unofficial and therefore FREE. Please bring a snack to put in the backup of the pickup truck for your friends to try.

Interested? #southmountaincsaup on Slack for friendly banter. Add your name, etc. to this sheet so we can all have an idea of who’s coming:

***DISCLAIMER: To be clear, this is not an organized or official run/race/event. If you come, you are on your own and entirely responsible for your own safety and well-being. If you choose to run the same loops in the same order as us, awesome! But, as with all things F3, you are encouraged to modify as necessary to avoid personal injury and overall make good decisions with your life.

The loops/routes will NOT be marked. There will be GPX files available for those with fancy watches as well as printed maps and cue sheets available in some guys truck in the parking lot at South Mountain. Most carriers will have cell service out there so it is highly recommended that you carry your phone with you and common sense thoroughly suggests that you stick with a buddy.

Bottom Line: This is going to be a blast. If you haven’t been to South Mountains State Park before, you are really missing out. We will cover almost all of the trails there, including all the big views overlooking Jacob Fork Gorge, the 80-foot High Shoals waterfall, and the beautiful mountains of Western NC. Make up a route of your own, or just come eat snacks and high five your friends when they stop at the pickup truck.

Tentative Route Maps (to be finalized soon):
Full Route: (31.2 miles / ~5,900 ft elevation gain)
First Loop: (11.7 miles / ~2,100 ft elevation gain)
Second Loop: (9.5 miles / ~1,700 ft elevation gain)
Third Loop: (10 miles / ~2,100 ft elevation gain)

White Men Can’t Jump

9 Pax arose from the sack to take on the gloom. Point Break and YHC got in some early work on the #MarchMadnessChallenge.

Disclaimer and we’re off into the cool dark for a basketball inspired workout – focus on agility, stamina and explosive strength.

LAYUP DRILL – Mosey to AT&T parking lot: 32 SSH, 16 Hillbillies, 16 Arm Circles, 16 High Knees, 16 Mtn climbers, 32 SSH

FIRST QUARTER – Mosey to Old Navy parking lot, karaoke, side-to-side and high knees on the way. Killer B’s: Start on side walk, Broad Jump to middle line, Bear crawl to middle of next line, Burpee, Broad jump to next line, Bear crawl to final line, Burpee, hold plank until 6 is in. Repeat. Mosey to staircase

SECOND QUARTER – Called exercise at each of the corners up and down the stairs in circular motion. 16x16x16x16 Jump Squats, 8x8x8x8 Dwight Howards, 4x4x4x4 Knee ups, 2x2x2x2 8-count burpees, Side to side shuffle between exercises. Hold plank until 6 is in. Mosey back to Old Navy Lot.

THIRD QUARTER – Killer B’s: Start on side walk, broad jump to middle line, Bear crawl to middle of next line, 10 Bobby Hurleys, Broad jump to next line, Bear crawl to the end, 10 Bobby Hurleys, Mosey to Fountains

FOURTH QUARTER – Partner up for Dora 123. Partner 1 does exercise, while Partner 2 RUNS/SPRINTS to end of tree and back. 100 Box jumps (RUN). 200 LBC’s (SPRINT). 300 Jump Squats (RUN)

OVERTIME – 1 minute hollow body hold to finish


  • Shoutout to my #MarchMadness accountability brothers. Point Break for showing up early to get in some prework. Trickle for crushing the pullups with me after the workout. Fredo for challenging me to stick with this whole thing.
  • Smuggler was springing like a rabbit when we first started the Killer B’s. He stuck with it and stayed solid for the rest of the workout.
  • Great to see you back out in the gloom Lafawnduh after some extended recovery time. Big Ten respect!
  • While Das Boot fartsacked the workout, we honored him by paying respect to his legendary calf workout on the same stairs that we ascended for the 64x32x16x8 circuit repeats
  • Waterboy good to see you again after Body Shop last Thursday
  • If you ever need help installing a french drain, Wingman is your man. Just dug a full trench and installed his own in less than 3 hours. Then posts and crushes the workout. Respect
  • Appreciate the opportunity to lead Teddy. Appreciate your leadership of this site from Day 1. Love having this Monday morning option in the backyard.

Say Hello to My Little (cinderblock) Friend

2 cinder blocks and 18 PAX emerged from the fartsack for another day in Body Shop Paradise. Posse nearly ran us over on the way in – then again he drives a Prius, so we probably would have done more damage to that little thing. Smuggler, McGee and a few others joining in late were thoroughly confused to see everyone playing rock-scissors-paper as we split up into two teams. Two rules for the remainder of the workout:

  1. You must stick with your team while completing called exercises
  2. One member of the team must always be carrying a cinder block

Warmup: mosey to basketball court for 5 burpees. One lap around small track, 10 mountain climbers on the basketball court. Mosey to teacher’s parking lot for 20 merkins, run loop around the lot, then close out with 15 american hammers. This block is heavier than I remember…

Main Event: Capture the Flag Cone: Set up three stations from one side of parking lot to the other. Each pax must complete exercises at each station with cinder block before proceeding to next station. Teams must communicate and share the cinder block. Upon finishing the final station, sprint back to the other end of parking lot. Fastest pax grabs the cone. First team to grab the cone wins the round! It’s not the fastest or strongest team that win, but the one that communicates most effectively. 

Exercises at each cone:

  • 5 burpees
  • 20 squats
  • 15 mountain climbers
  • 20 squats
  • 20 merkins
  • 20 squats

After each round winning team completes one exercise, losing team completes one exercise. Round 1: 10 Mike Tysons/20 Carolina Dry Docks. Round 2: 20 big boy situps/20 LBC’s. Round 3: 30 LBC’s/30 Monkey Humpers. Assortment of mary between each round and before CoT.

T-claps/Truth Nuggets

  • Solid work by Team McGee and Team Posse. It’s incredible to me how much more we push each other when we’re competing towards a common goal. Consider these totals across the different exercises that each pax completed: 5o burpees, 135 mountain climbers, 200 merkins, 540 squats. This. is. nuts.
  • Really neat to see the teams adapt and improvise as each round went on. I think the strategy session between rounds helped. Despite getting blown out in the first round our team McGee rallied to get our act together for the final 2 rounds. Loved seeing how we worked more as a team to communicate when we could step in and relieve the person with the block. Would love to hear more from Team Posse in the chatter, as I was wrapped up in trying to keep up with my own team!
  • Waterboy and The Juice gave it their all for our team, absolutely gassed at the end of the third round. I still remember the first workout with The Juice – you’ve come a long way.
  • McGee backed up his unending mumblechatter with a rock solid performance. I’m not sure if he really broke a sweat during this workout. Loved seeing you and Smuggler put it all out there with the final sprints.
  • Fredo I needed the push from you in between rounds to keep going strong. Thanks for challenging me to not limit myself.
  • Very impressed by Young Blood NameTag and Herschel. They kept up and even led the pack at times. I told Herschel that it took me about 30 years to get to the point that I could keep up with these workouts.
  • Let’s take a moment to appreciate Posse’s pink (camo?) running tights
  • I brought out the cinder block to not only add weight to the workout, but to share a life lesson during COT. The cinder block represents the anxieties, the pressures, the struggles that we shoulder as broken men in a fallen world. Too often I believe the lie that I need to carry these weights alone rather than acknowledging them and graciously inviting others to carry them with me. I fall into the trap of believing I’m the only one carrying such a weight. When in reality, every man I surround myself with is facing similar, albeit different struggles. Just as the key to success in the Capture the Cone challenge was proactive communication, we succeed as men when we acknowledge our struggles and invite others into them in a gracious and loving way.
  • Through sharing the block, we acknowledge that we are not alone. We acknowledge that we cannot tackle our challenges alone. The block becomes an opportunity to lead, to serve and to be served. We follow the example of the greatest servant who carried the ultimate weight so that we might be freed to lead, and freed to serve.
  • Announcements: Rooster Race Saturday at 6:00 a.m. Teams still needed. Rice n beans service opportunities each week, chat more with Centerfold. Church on the Streets first Sunday of each month. Saturday morning SOB convergence at Stonehenge (no Da Vinci).
  • Thanks Das Boot, Centerfold and Boitano for your leadership of this site. As an SOB regular, I always cherish the opportunity to lead and kick it with the Waxhaw faithful.

midriff out

Am I supposed to be counting?

About 30 reps into the burpee hill repeats, Rousey posed the question to his partner “Am I supposed to be counting?!?” and I nearly lost it in laughter. With sore legs and shoulders from leading the charge at Bagpipe, it only made sense to do more leg and upper body work. Here’s how it went down:

  • Warmup: Side to side, butt kicks, high knees around the parking lot, 20 SSH’s, 20 imperial walkers, 10 mountain climbers, 10 merkins, 10 flutter, 10 doll
  • Mosey down the horn to rock pile: 15 plank jacks at stop sign. Partner 1: Complete 20 of each called exercise (Curls, Bent Over Row, Overhead Press) while Partner 2 runs to stop sign and back
  • Time to run back up the horn: With partner, complete 100 reps between mountain climbers and freddy mercuries, plank at the top
  • Here’s where the fun really began – repeats on the hill by parking lot: with partner complete 50 burpees, 100 jump squats, 100 merkins. Circle up for 35 LBC’s
  • Grab a seat at the theater: Each pax calls 10 count of single exercise while sitting on the wall


Chatter of Mumble

  • Respect to MC, PP and Rousey for doubling down after Bagpipe yesterday. Hope you got your money’s worth between these two workouts! Instead of doubling down today, Tagalong is saving his energy for Friday
  • Speaking of Rousey, your energy is fantastic! From hijacking the 10-count from Wingman (his expression was priceless) to your comment during burpee hill repeats – your energy is endless and contagious. You bring the pep to our collective step, don’t dial that energy back. As for the cadence counting and exicon knowledge, that will come in due time.
  • Great to see the some of the garage band crew out on the streets. Commish and Twister, great to see you out again in the gloom. Maybe Strange Brew will soon make his triumphant return
  • Jerry World, love how you’ve jumped right into these workouts head first. Keep coming out, and definitely check out Bagpipe on Tuesdays as well. Impressed that you were at the front for most of the work and able to keep Mic Check honest
  • Mic Check you have a knack for bringing up the young bucks and challenging us to dig deeper
  • Appreciate you Brexit for making the trek to SOB land
  • Solid conversation with you Jazz Hands after CoT. Brings me great joy to connect with other dads in the thick of raising little ones.
  • Wingman called me a SOB, and I receive that as a great compliment!
  • Patent Pending called me his personal trainer, which I will also take as a compliment
  • Grateful for you as brothers and friends!


  • Roof Above home welcome kits. $/item collection will start soon. More details forthcoming to simplify the giving process. Lots of homeless friends in our Charlotte neighborhood that are making the transition to longer-term housing.
  • Soft Pretzel on Q at Nightmare on Elm
  • YHC took us into the day with prayer

Until next time