Sonic Surprises and Senior Day at Swole

Sonic Surprises and Senior Day at Swole

We are approximately one month into the new strength and conditioning program at Swole, Meathead, and Olympus and today the featured exercise was the kettlebell swing.  Six PAX began their week on the good foot and gathered in the drizzly, murky parking lot of a nondescript office building in suburbia.  With the Q still in a celebratory mood following the Alabama Crimson Tide’s 18th national championship a fair to middling disclaimer was given and we got down to business.

Warmup: 18 SSH, 18 Imperial Walker, 18 Mountain Climbers then onto the heavy swing portion of the workout

Senior Day Celebration:

Ten rounds of six heavy swings every minute on the minute

Next up was a 15 minute AMRAP complex designed to build muscle and highlight the careers of Devonta Smith (#6, Your Heisman Trophy winner and AP Player of the Year), Mac Jones (#10, America’s Quarterback and your Unitas Award winner), and Najee Harris (#22, Your Doak Walker Award winner).

6 Squats and 6 Deadlifts, 10 presses each arm and 10 rows each arm, 22 LBC and 22 Freddie Mercury.  #RTR  #MTAQ

After that the PAX were undoubtedly feeling like Ohio State’s defense trying and failing to keep up with the most prolific offense in the long and storied history of collegiate tackle football.  It’s probably tough to get into playoff shape playing only half of a season however, and battles with such titans as Indiana and Northwestern probably leave little in the proverbial tank.  #SarcasmFont

At this point Sasquatch decided that discretion was the better part of valor and disappeared into the darkness, much like Notre Dame in a New Year’s Day bowl game.  Legend has it that on a quiet night you can still hear the Alabama running backs stampeding untouched through the Irish defense.  We then did three rounds of a strength building complex consisting of 6 one armed chest presses on each side, 10 skull crushers, and 22 flutters.  Fatigue was setting in, but it was time for heavy carries so we pressed on, as champions do.

Finish with three rounds of waiter/rack/suitcase carries, then three minutes of heavy swings, and the hardest part of the week is over.

On the musical front, YHC decided to throw the PAX a curveball.  Instead of the standard fare of hair metal of classic rock, the playlist was straight outta the mean streets of West Chester, Ohio.  If you grew up with the channel called Video Jukebox you were reunited with some old hip hop friends, and if weren’t so lucky, you probably were left with some mixed thoughts about those people who represent the 513.  Either the hip hop genre peaked circa 1993, or YHC has no use for anything in the category after then (except for Nelly of course).  Playlist included Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend”, Sir Mix A Lot’s “My Hooptie”, Rob Base and EZ Rock’s “It Takes Two”, Young and Restless’ “B Girls”, Paperboy’s “Ditty”, Positive K’s “I Gotta Man”, Candyman’s “Knockin’ Boots”, Run DMC’s “It’s Tricky”, Young MC’s “Bust a Move”, and Skee-Low’s “I Wish”.  Voodoo really enjoyed “My Hooptie” for the record.  Unfortunately we didn’t get to Naughty by Nature or Nate Dogg and Warren G, lest things get too turnt as the kids say.  Regarding the Video Jukebox channel, this was a service where you would call a 900 number, pay a small fee, enter in the code for a song and then watch the corresponding music video play.  The smoother middle school boys would talk to a girl in between classes and make sure that the object of their affection would be watching that afternoon and then dial up a romantic slow jam such as Surface’s “The First Time” or Stevie B’s “Because I Love You”.  The Video Jukebox channel was the ultimate wingman.  There was also nothing better for getting hype in 1990 (as the kids say) as when you’d be watching The ‘Box and a call would come in and you’d see the digits 671 appear at the bottom of the screen because that meant momentarily you would be going to the extreme to rock a mic like a vandal and rollin’ in a 5 point 0 with your ragtop down so your hair could blow.  Simpler times.  Word to your mutha.