Follow the Leader

Follow the Leader

Union County men are tough. They tend to squint and spit. This comes from a hard-bit life under the deep Southern Sun, and rage at the McMansions taking over our land. So it can be scary to lead. Each man squinting and spitting in the Q’s general direction had obviously been in his share of cow fights (uncharitably called “tipping”), and was not afraid of a ginger on two legs.  So we got to it.  This is what we did:

Follow the Leader. Run around the big parking lot until the man in front calls “halt” and leads the pax in an excercise of his choosing. Repeat until every man has cried (out loud) “halt.”

Twenties.  Perform 20 supines, 20 dry docks, 20 merkins, and 20 knee-ups. Then 19 of each, then 18, all the way down to 1.

We also did some other stuff as we traveled between these stations, and back home.

MOLESKIN

• MopTop sprints like the Tasmanian Devil, all swirls and speed until he stops, and then ends up on the ground, bloodly and slobbering. My bad brother. Hope you didn’t discover any wounds beyond the surface after the adrenaline died down.
• Transporter apparently got lost on the way to the 20s. This was suprising since he is the Transporter, after all, and the Transporter in real life film always seems to know where he was going. One difference is that this Transporter wears a parka on top of seven other layers when working out in the summer; apparently it helps his inner zen. But when you stop to take them off you can get dropped, being that the parka has to cover your eyes when you pull it off your head. Glad you found us brother.
• Bear Naked is a beast. Dude seemed to be at the front all morning, and was knocking out knee-ups like he had done it on a stage in New York. I’d say he is a BRR top free agent, but sounded like our German Site Q already laid claim to him.
• I had never met Mr. Bean before, and had not heard that he was controlling and evil, so was a little surprised when he called a set of 11s during follow the leader. But then i realized he used a fake accent, and that took some effort, plus it made him sound smart, so i let it go. Luckily, he realized he was Q-jacking and cut it short on his own about halfway, showing that he is truly good.
• Nutter Butter is coming along.  Watch out for him — the speed is there.
• Bananas was some kind of refusenik this morning. Something about not feeling safe doing swinging supines under a triangular bar. Weak fruit. You were only a few feet off the ground, man!
• Bratwurst, on the other hand, was strong meat. He pulled a couple leads during Follow the Leader (though he should have had them all), and was manufacturing supines in some kind of weird yoga move that made them look much harder.
• I always wondered why Soft Pretzel had that name, because he isn’t soft at all, but now i know.  He bends well around metal, and when you unloop him he is tasty, as in tasty fast, okay, maybe there is another reason.
• Abacus was pretty quiet this morning. In the dark, he looks a lot like a killer I saw on a movie once. Kinda creepy.  Don’t let him sneak up on you.
• I’ve worked out with Crabcake a bunch, but don’t think i realized how strong he was until we did the 20s today. Worse, he was smiling the whole time.  Strong brother.
• Grease Monkey is showing that he is more than just transportation for enormous biceps. The guy is moving at about double-time from where he was a couple months ago, and he never quits. Watch out. When i jumped on his back for a partner carry, though, he laughed, which made me feel insubstantial. I didn’t like that.
• Snowflake, my dear friend, just turned 54.  Wish him a happy birthday.  And no, since you are not as strong or fast as him now, you will not be as strong or fast as him when you are his age, no matter how often you say, “I want to be like Snowflake when I am his age.” Sorry.
• In all seriousness, one of the many blessings I received during my wife’s chemotherapy was to develop this family each Wednesday.  Thank you.  I am blessed to have you as my brothers.  Hope to see you more on Saturdays at #Commitment, and look forward to other opportunities.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

• DREDD and OBT will be leading a workout July 27th at Stonehenge, followed by a free botox cafeteria.  Come to Commitment instead to keep it real and get 30 minutes more sleep.
• New Workout #Flash starts Monday, July 13th, 5:30 at Nesbit Park (near Kensington Elementary).  Dasher will be Site Q.

OUT