Red Eye – Soft Launch

  • When:04-01-13
  • QIC: Tiger Rag
  • The PAX: Joker, Wanker, Hops, Camel Toes (Kotters), Walking Farts, Runstopper, FNG Webster (Runstopper's little brother), FNG Vas Def (Wanker's neighbor), FNG O'Douls (Hops' brother-in-law)

Red Eye – Soft Launch

Ten hearty souls, including 3 (!) FNGs, got after it for the soft launch of Area 51’s newest workout, The Red Eye.  This one’s targeted for Pax who are tired of the same old same old.  0400 – 0500 on Mondays.



SSH x 250.  In cadence.  (Who’s your Daddy, Ice 9?)



Dog Sequence

  • Up Dog
  • Down Dog
  • Bird Dog (point leg and opp hand, Lx20, Rx20)
  • Dirty Dog (leg lifts, Lx20, Rx20)
  • Bum Scratcher (sit on rear, legs in front, use arms to drag bum across pavement—just like your dog does on the carpet)

Rinse and Repeat


Partner Work

  • Chest to Chest Partner carries x 50 yards.  Flapjack
  • Partner drag by feet x 50 yards.  Flapjack
  • Piggyback Partner Plank x 1 min.  (Partner 1 in plank, partner 2 in piggyback on partner 1). Flapjack
  • Partner Press/Merkins:  Partner 1 on Back.  Partner 2 in Merkin Position atop partner 1.  Pax 1 bench presses Pax 2 while Pax 2 performs Merkins.  Flapjack.
  • People’s Merkins x 20:  Partner 1 in People’s Chair on wall.  Partner 2–merkins with hands on knees of Partner 1.  Flapjack.
  • Partner Plank Squats x 10:  Partner 1 in plank.  Partner 2 step up on Partner 1’s back for Squats.  Flapjack.
  • Partner Plank Step Ups x 10L/10R:  Same as above.  Flapjack.
  • Partner Plank Jump Ups x 10:  Same as above.  #Crowdpleaser, Flapjack.
  • Partner Plank Dips x20:  Partner 1 in Plank (tuck chin to chest).  Partner 2 back to partner 1 with hands on Partner 1 shoulders, dips).  Flapjack.
  • Partner Muscle Ups:  Partner 1 in quarter squat.  Partner 2 has to get to seated position on Partner 1’s shoulders (with no assistance from partner 1).  Flapjack.
  • Chest to Chest partner carries x 50 yards.  1x Squat every 20 steps.  Flapjack

Feats of Strength

  • Tree Humpers (Wrap arms and legs around tree, hold for 1 min)
  • Rinse and repeat




  •  Phenomenal start and great numbers for an invitation only, short-notice soft launch to F3/Red Eye.  I was concerned a one hour workout at 0400 might scare some people away, but I should have known better.  This one’s hear to stay.  Hard launch date forthcoming.
  • Strong work by the three FNGs.  Runstopper’s younger brother just moved to town and joined us for his first F3 tilt.  Turns out Runstopper  is the tall one in his family….#Lilliput.  Wanker is challenging Bananas for the A51 EH title, bringing out his neighbor, FNG Rod Johnson.  It’s hard to find a derivative of Wanker that’s family friendly, but we managed with Vas Def.  Sounds like a rapper.  Finally, Hops’ brother-in-law was in town from Salt Lake City.  Had to be O’Douls (especially since he wouldn’t let us name his 2.0 that at the Rock Saturday).  TClaps, gents.  It doesn’t get easier–you get stronger.
  • Kotters to Camel Toes.  Last time we saw CT was during the (only-slightly veiled) Full Monty at the Rock with the tights sans shorts.  No tights needed today as the balmy temps officially brings a close to displaced Yankees complaining about 36 degree temperatures.  Until October anyway.
  • Good job by Walking Farts.  Might have been a little too enthusiastic on the Piggy Back Partner Planks…..”Recover” means get off (and it appears you were trying….just sayin’).
  • Didn’t have time for the Chicken Fights. Maybe next time.
  • Wanker mentioned the #treehumpers when recounting the SnowRuck tales so we gave it a whirl this morning.  A slight burning sensation in the frontal region, but otherwise a fantastic full-body exercise.  #neosporin.  #keeper
  • Nice work by Wanker and Joker joining me for the #doubledown at The Matrix.  #raceseason


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10 years ago

Great stuff TR. 0400 start not as brutal as I thought. Chest to chest partner carries albeit uncomfortable was a great workout.

Cheese Curd
10 years ago

Great Aprils fools joke…0400 start..real funny! You really sold this one, even getting hops to comment!

10 years ago

It’s no joke. TR and Bulldog won the chest-to-chest partner carry race… they said that practice makes perfect.

10 years ago

TR that was a great lead. Well worth waking up for. Hope to see some more PAX out at official launch. Combining peoples chair with partner incline merkins made it great for both involved. Can really see that catching on…Can’t belive the hate from Cheesecurd – really think he’s just wishing he was the meat in our chest to chest partner race!

Cheese Curd
10 years ago

Ok…so IF this workout happened, it looks pretty solid! I still am not sure who needs a 4am workout on a Monday? I think TR just wanted a reason to DBL down on another day of the week. Chest to Chest race, Dog Sequence, 250 SSH…I still think its a prank…

10 years ago

Love it, daddy.

Mall Cop
10 years ago

I’m w/ Cheese Curd on this one and will call BS! April Fools Day. The concept sounds intriguing, but some of the exercises and the FNG names sound a little fishy on 4/1/2013. However if this is a new workout it is CSAUP enough that it will do great. Possibly consider a different day of the week than Monday though. Even still until this is verified by Hops or Joker I’m calling BS!

10 years ago

Partner plank jump ups were dangerous…..not unlike fireman’s carry #callforthestretcher

Run Stopper
10 years ago

You know growing up in Oklahoma and being one of four boys raised on a farm you would have thought that we would have been tall young men, such as the Bugeater – Cornbread, Nebraska types. No, we are little men, with fairly large…egos.

Webster, aka little Bro and his Mrs. were camping with us over the long weekend when I got the call for the red eye launch… so I did what any brother would do.. I head locked his short@## for the launch! Well since then, he has refused my calls and Mrs. Webster (a model he hooked up with online at told me he has also disappeared. She said he was mumbling about the Bum Scratcher and running down Providence in a wrestling singlet circa Ardmore HS 988. If we find him, I am planning on head locking him for the next red eye, even if that means that I will have to hog tie him and toss him in a duffle bag!

Solid work for all..

The Shore
10 years ago

Seems like the April Fools were the ones who showed up at 4:00 on a Monday morning.
As for Bulldog’s EH, since TR wants to keep the Wanker theme going, I would have gone with “Stroker Ace” which also has a more benign NASCAR reference.
I’m still uncomfortable with Camel Toes though, whether on a man’s body or in the written word.

8 years ago

Sorry to miss this one, #gamechanger

For your consideration I submit Calling the Chest to Chest Partner Carry “The Baby Bjorn.” Easier to call during a workout. At least an AKA in the lexicon.

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