Congratulations. You just clicked on a Blakovery PreBlast, which means you either
Either way, you came to the right place, because not only is this Preblast unnecessary, but it is excessively long. So like I said, congratulations. Before I get to the plan for tomorrow’s Blakovery, we need to talk about what happened the last time I Q’d Blakovery…
It was a long time ago. Exactly two weeks ago to be exact. There was a different president back then. Blakovery regulars like Wingman and Prohibition were going about their daily lives, anxiously and secretly awaiting a Slack run channel notification signaling the Blakovery wienke for the following morning. Chopper, ever the steadfast site Q, took to Slack to announce me as the Q and passive-aggressively ponder the quality of my future course.
“Come out to see if he brings true creativity to the streets of Blakeney or settles for a cheap knock-off of and old familiar course
“
With the route already planned, I quickly and confidently replied:
“@Chopper of course there will be a new route tomorrow. Bring a headlamp for ‘Longview Lite’.”
This was a shortened version of a course I first brought to Chicken Run through the gated Longview neighborhood. I was pretty proud of myself. After all, the original Longview course was pretty well-received, and I was excited to bring a version of it to the Blakovery PAX. But then, with one short reply from Chopper, it all came crashing down.
“@tuck
looks familiar but maybe just a new name
“
Chopper’s words, aided by co-conspirators “thinking_face” and “flushed”, cut through me like a knife. With thinking_face seemily saying “Tuck, a recycled Chicken Run course may have been good enough under the previous regimes of PJ, Bunker & Brat, but there’s a new sheriff in town”, and flushed piling on by staring directly through MY VERY SOUL. In an instant my world was turned upside-down. What is a good route? Who am I? Will Paper Jam wear knee-high socks? I could no longer answer these questions. But I knew that sooner or later Chopper would come calling, and that when he did, I HAD to be ready.
And so, I took to the streets. For 14 lonely nights I wandered the streets, alone. Searching. For what, I did not know. The only thing i DID know was that Chopper was asking for, no, DEMANDING excellence. But how could I, a mere mortal, live up to his impossibly high standards? How could I redeem myself? I had a feeling the answer was somewhere out there, waiting for me. Night after night I scoured the neighborhoods of South Charlotte and Waxhaw in relentless pursuit of whatever it was that would gain me Chopper’s respect. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I forgot what my kids looked like. But then, just when I thought all was lost, it started to come together. A truly new Blakovery course. I finally found it, but more importantly, I found myself along the way. Chopper, you knew what you were doing all along, didn’t you, you sly son-of-a-b*tch. Unbelievable.
Fast forward to now. This is where the Blakovery PreBlast actually begins. Join us tomorrow @ the fountains of Blakeney @ 0515 for a new 5 mile course. It is roughly 4.25 mi road and 0.75 mi flat non-technical dirt trail. On the trail sections there are a couple of slightly muddy spots, but nothing crazy. For the most part you can run around it. IMHO road shoes would be fine. If you are worried about your shiny new shoes get over it or wear something older. A headlamp is required for this route. I repeat, a headlamp is required.
#SYITG
-TUCK
9 PAX did Jack Webb variations around the perimeter of Stonecrest on a brisk morning at Nightmare on Elm.
Of course this was not the original plan. YHC had a more adventurous “headlamp required” type weinke planned which involved trespassing (you know, standard Tuck stuff), but realized upon arrival that the Elm bridge construction completely obliterated access to the planned route. After taking a moment to choke down the disappointment and shame, YHC turned to an old friend, Jack Webb, to save the day. It seemed like a decent idea at the time.
Thang
COP
Mosey to main fountain area for Jack Webb variation #1
Mosey to ambiance-filled courtyard next to Flying Biscuit for Jack Webb variation #2
Mosey to hill behind Target for Jack Webb variation #3
Mosey to wall behind Target for Jack Webb variation #4
Mosey to front of movie theater for Jack Webb variation #5
Mosey back to launch area for Jack Webb variation #6
Moleskin
After all of this Jacking off my arms sure are dead. Just gonna leave that there.
After spending time in that romantic courtyard next to Flying Biscuit YHC feels like we all went on a date together. Tagalong and Mighty locked eyes for a fleeting moment, but quickly came to their senses and shook it off, with the unspoken vow to explore these new feelings at a later time.
On the first sprint Frehleys left it all out there. It was frightening.
Strong work by the group today. We did a great job of going back for the 6 and keeping everyone together. There were some things YHC would have smoothed out but overall it was pretty solid for an improvised Q. Thank you Circuit City for the opportunity to lead.
Announcements
Elm bridge is not a thing
-TUCK
4 intellectually curious PAX and 1 Karen went back to school on a beautiful Monday morning at Firestarter.
Thang
Muscle-up an onto retaining wall next to Blakeney entrance at Blakeney Heath Rd – 10 times
Mosey to rock pile behind the Lash Studio
Mosey to rock pile next to Self Storage place
Mosey to benches behind Ardrey Kell HS
Mosey back to rock pile behind the Lash Studio
Moleskine
It was an honor to lead at Firestarter for the first time. Thank you, Teddy and Mark Kay, for the opportunity and for your support. YHC could feel the positive vibes you were sending from your fartsacks. YHC’s guess for the low turnout this AM is a combination of the threat of rain and PAX posting elsewhere for Passport. Lucky for those in attendance, the rain held off and we had perfect weather. Small numbers and strong PAX allowed us to cover a lot of ground. Really strong work by One Star, Sweetwater and Wingman. In total we got in 3.1 miles aka 5k. Not too shabby for a 45 minute bootcamp.
The final destination was Ardrey Kell High School. YHC can’t remember ever going there during a workout, so it was high on the list to check out. We were only there for a short time, but long enough for a faculty member to see us on her walk into school and then decide to come out and check on us a bit later. Relax Karen! Nothing to see here, other than One Star’s Ho Ho Ho socks and Sweetwater’s chiseled physique. On second thought, who could blame her for wanting a second look at all that. AKHS has a lot to offer, bootcamp wise, including a plethora of parking lots, bountiful benches and frequent fields. The only issue is it’s a stretch to reach from Blakeney. Side note: perhaps Community House MS would be a solid future AO since it has easy access to both AKHS and the Morrison Y. Not to mention it has it’s own track w/ tires to flip. Side side note: it was nice to discover that there is a rock pile next to the Self Storage place.
You know how some PAX are freakishly good at 1 specific thing? Like Market Timer w/ running backwards, Doc McStuffins with dead hanging or Mary Kay with not showing up to Firestarter? Well as it turns out, Wingman is that way w/ muscle-ups. He was done well before anyone else even though we were all pushing hard. Wingman also helped Sweetwater get access to The Brave calendar after the workout. The issue was resolved by asking Sweetwater “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” It was so successful that going forward, Wingman will be offering free technology assistance hours to all PAX after weekday SOB workouts. So bring your broken Palm Pilots, BlackBerrys, Microsoft Zunes and Samsung Galaxy Note 7’s and watch Wingman work his genius.
One Star described a brutal workout that he barely survived once upon a time in Hilton Head, involving a ladder of exercises and bricks. Hopefully he will bring it to a workout near you.
Sweetwater, safe travels to Atlanta. This is for you: https://www.f3atlanta.com/workout-locations/
Here we go again with the 5th iteration of something that shouldn’t have happened once. 15 PAX popped the red pill (and some ibuprofen) and posted at The Brave for the most ambitious and Christmassy Deck Run ever. We covered 5-6 miles and conquered a world record 9 decks. It was great on so many levels.
That’s right, 9 decks were ascended; the most of any Deck Run in recorded history. Here is a little historical context:
Here’s how it went down. And up.
0520. Taco Stand heads out early, and solo, looking to keep his heart rate down for his #MAF training. If you ask YHC, this lone wolf has the biggest heart of the bunch. No seriously, you should get that checked out Taco, it’s a dangerous condition.
0525. YHC rolls up and Cheese Curd is already there, strapping on his ruck. Usually it is not a ruck that Curd is strapping on in dimly lit parking lots, but that is a different story for a different time. Recuping from a recent injury, Curd has decided to use the sure-fire rehab strategy of walking up concrete ramps while carrying a bunch of extra weight. Curd is now primed to shatter the glass ceiling of parking deck-related sports by being the first man to ever ruck the Deck Run. But if he is rucking can we still call it the Deck Run? It’s definitely not the Deck Ruck because there are runners. Let’s go with the Deck… Thing.
0526. The nervous energy and determination are palpable. YHC can sense the PAX are eager to get started on this unprecedented, audacious feat. The kind of feat that you tell you grandkids about one day. The kind of feat that Frehley’s could have told his grandkids about TODAY, if he had shown up. The kind of feat that you get a tattoo over, like Rock Thrill’s IronMan or Tolkien’s Spartan, except dumber and even more regrettable. Speaking of which, Wingy how is the logo coming?
0527. Tagalong reaches into his beard, removes a headlamp and straps it on. He is now ready to finally gain the respect of his family and friends.
0528. Disclaimer & instructions are urgently and dramatically delivered as Kirby casually searches his car for a headlamp. Even with stakes this high, with everything on the line, Kirby CANNOT be rattled. He flat out refuses. One time Kirby and Chuck Norris had a staring contest and Chuck Norris killed himself with a roundhouse kick TO HIS OWN FACE mid-contest. True story.
0529. Tolkien reluctantly saunters up, looking like he is only there because YHC talked him into it. YHC is ok with this.
0530. And just like that, it’s go time. No more talk. No more casually looking for personal items. Let’s do this!
Midriff’s shorts are high but his excitement is higher. He leads the PAX out of the gate and stays out in front for most of the run. The nine decks start falling, one by one. A nucleus of YHC/Wingman/Midriff/Softie/Wild Turkey/Tolkien/Tagalong/Brexit/Goonie forms, with smaller groups breaking off and doing what they need to do to get the job done.
It was fun to look up now and then and see PAX in different decks. While running North on Community House we spotted Kirby and Teddy running in the Hampton Inn deck. While on the roof of one of the Community House decks we spotted Taco on the roof of the next deck. We are everywhere and cannot be stopped.
After crushing the 9 decks and honestly just embarrassing them, the various groups coalesced back at launch with a few minutes to spare. All groups, that is, except the dynamic duo of Sweetwater and Das Boot. These two overachievers decided to tack on an extra three quarters of a mile to the route before returning home. Why? Because they eat pieces of sh*t like you for breakfast, that’s why.
With our spirits high, bolstered by the satisfaction of knowing we had each taken more deck than any man that had come before us, we stood 6 feet apart and pondered life’s great questions. Who is on Q next week? Does it make sense to go to the 10-year F3 anniversary (spoiler alert: no it does not). When is the next Deck Run/Thing? Are there horse socks?
So what did we learn from Deck Run V? For YHC it is this.
Be honest, you thought there would be more deck-related puns in this backblast.
Coming in 2021: COVID vaccines but more importantly, Deck Run VI – 10 decks – “The Deckathalon”
-TUCK
9 guys posted at The Arsenal on a crisp December morning to see what kind of questionable decisions YHC would make.
YHC started with a disclaimer emphasizing social distancing, and then… hold on… someone is coming in hot! Who could it be? Let’s put our lives on hold and wait to find out. Why it was none other than General_! Wow, haven’t seen him since the Reagan administration. This was a lot to process, but we had to forge ahead in earnest, now that we were officially a minute behind schedule. Surely this late start wouldn’t cause us to finish a minute late.
YHC had previously indicated we would be heading off campus. There was speculation by some that we’d be heading deep into the surrounding dark and hilly neighborhoods. Good guess, but no. Only Wingman pieced the puzzle together. YHC had strategically dropped the word “inspiration” into the pre-workout marketing and Wingy deduced, while studying Google Maps on the shitter, that we’d be heading to the campus of Inspiration Ministries. Nice work, Wingy. General_ ,on the other hand, had no clue where we were going. Wingman 1, General -1000.
Thang
We banged a right on Doby’s Bridge, crossed 521 with ease and continued Northeast on the brand new road that the new Indian Land YMCA graciously installed for us. General_ got winded almost immediately so we stopped for some SSH and then again a little later for IW so he could compose himself. After he stopped spilling merlot and pooping himself, we continued on past the Y and finally made it to the campus of Inspiration Ministries and CrossRidge church. The journey to this point was 1 mile. Now it was time for a little exploration of the extremely beautiful and impressive campus before us.
LSS x 10 IC in the lower right parking lot.
Mosey to the oval path around the giant cross behind the pond. There are 7 benches around the oval. Each pax find a home bench. Run counterclockwise to each bench in suicide fashion, stopping for 5 derkins at each new bench and home bench. It was around this time that several pax individually confided in me that they didn’t think General_ would make it thru the workout, despite skipping most of the exercises.
Mosey to bridge going across the pond. Run around the North side of the pond, stopping at each corner for jump squats, starting w/ 10 and increasing by 10 at each corner. General_ pulled an audible and got in a quick nap.
Mosey to “big monument thing” near the 521 entrance. Grab some wall for dips and hip slappers IC.
Return to the main entrance road for route 66 burpees using the trees as markers. We got to the 7th tree before needing to head back to launch (28 burpees).
We retraced our steps, more or less, on the 1 mi journey home, stopping a couple times for mary. General_ took an Uber back.
Moleskin
Ok, in reality we had an extremely strong group which enabled us to crush the 1 mi trek to/fro and get most of the weinke in. In total we covered almost 4 miles. Strong work by everyone, including General_. This new territory will (hopefully) be a welcome addition to the Arsenal repertoire. I thoroughly enjoyed leading and exploring this area with these fine men. Thank you Brexit for the opportunity, and thank you L Train for switching dates w/ me.
Announcement
Deck Run v5 is tomorrow at the Brave. 9 decks are on the menu.
In case you’ve been hiding under a rock or trapped under a tipped-over stockpile of canned goods and toilet paper, we are growing. If you haven’t gotten around in a while, you’ve missed a lot. The 1st F Q’s of Waxhaw, A51 and SOB present to you a challenge designed to get you outside of your normal routine/region/comfort zone, while encouraging consistency and giving you the opportunity to meet new PAX.
The 2020 Passport Challenge:
With the Passport Challenge and the Holiday Knockout Challenge, the only sensible option is to get after it in a big way as we close out the year. 2020 has thrown a lot at us but we have it within our control to finish strong. Let’s go! #SYITG
– Chastain, Orange Whip, Madame Tussauds, Cooter2 & Tuck
Welcome to the long-awaited Makeshift Marathon 2020 PreBlast. Before we get into it, a little housekeeping…
Disclaimer: This is not an official event and is not sanctioned by F3 or FiA. There will be no road closures, medical professionals, safety personnel or public safety officials. Race organizers will not be held liable for any accidents, injuries, illnesses, deaths or medical emergencies experienced during or after Makeshift Marathon 2020. Participation is at your own risk. By registering for and/or participating in this event, you agree to these terms and conditions.
Good times! When a PreBlast leads off with a disclaimer you know you have something exceptionally #CSAUP on your hands.
So, what is this? Simply put, a contingent of local runners who had their Fall races canceled put their heads together and developed their own race in Waxhaw/Marvin/South Charlotte. Several options are available, including a full marathon, marathon relay (any number of teammates), half marathon and 10k. Ruckers are welcome. There will be aid stations with water and participants will have the opportunity to have their own fuel/hydration waiting for them at each station.
Why? For the love of the sport, and to provide like-minded family and friends with the opportunity the race like it’s not 2020, while raising funds for a good cause.
Who? Open to members of F3, FiA, family and friends. Please do not advertise/share on social media.
When? Saturday, November 14th at 7AM. In the event of inclement weather, the make-up date is Sunday, November 15th.
Where? Parking and race start/finish are in front of Kohl’s on Rea Rd. & Tom Short Rd in Waxhaw (601 Sherman Pl, Waxhaw, NC 28173).
Course:
Aid Stations:
Misc:
Click HERE to register.
Click HERE to sign-up for a volunteer timeslot
Thang
5 men gathered to help bring the Brave back to life, and sweat all over the damn place.
Mosey around the parking lot for a minute and circle up for COP:
Mosey to corner of Ballantyne Commons and Community House.
Thang
Mosey back to launch. 2 minutes of mary with each of us calling out 10-15 reps of an exercise one at a time rapid fire.
Moleskin
Loved the group we had this morning. We stayed together throughout, with some good banter about how much “fun” we were having. The title of this BB is a direct quote from Mario. YHC can’t emphasize enough how horrible the last mile w/ 72 burpees was in that heat. It didn’t help that the last few stations were close together. It definitely took a bite out of all of us. Kudos to the pax for not refuseniking. Teddy is working his way back and looked quite strong. Softie was out leading the pack for a good portion, Wingy had beard envy and Mario almost pooped himself during AND after the workout. We must have looked pretty banged up after COT because a vulture was giving us the eye. Apparently the same thing happened last week. It might take one of us out eventually, but we must accept that. It’s the circle of life.
4 men and 3 2.0’s split the Q at the latest installment of Garage Band.
Pyramid
Here are the exercises that each PAX chose as we built the pyramid:
Moleskine
Appreciated the group participation. Is a Tuck Pyramid an easy button for the QIC? Yes. Is it a fun and solid workout? Also yes. It also tends to be a well balanced one because of the variety of exercises selected by the PAX. The best thing about this format is that whenever you use it you are guaranteed a unique workout, never to be repeated again. We got in ~2.5 miles which is pretty good for a 45 minute bootcamp. T-claps to the 2.0’s (Odd Boy Out, Johnny 5 and T1000) for doing a great job picking their exercises. Especially T1000 w/ the burpees. Pretty ballsy!
We will continue Garage Band as long as there is demand for it. Who knows- maybe it’ll become a permanent addition to the schedule. YHC loves the 0630 start time which allows for a pre-run w/out waking up super early. And being virtual, you save driving time on both ends. For you runners it’s a great opportunity to get some running and cross training in on the same day, while still getting a decent amount of sleep. For the non-runners you get even more sleep. Everyone wins.
Announcements
Keep checking Slack and the SCLT F3 site to keep track of all the virtual and in-person workout options in SOB Land. Some start times are being modified as we transition back to the gloom. The Maul is in-person tomorrow @ 0600.