F3 Area51 BroLympics Pre-Blast

F3 Area51 BroLympics Pre-Blast

You asked for it (well actually, you didn’t)

HERE IT IS ANYWAY

What:   F3 Area 51 BroLympics

When:  Saturday 9/24/22 @ 0700 – 0900

Where: South Charlotte Middle School, former home of F3 Death Valley AO (RIP)

Who:    Those who are strong, fast, or morbidly curious how they stack up physically against a bunch of middle aged bankers

Why:     Great question

You can stop reading here if so inclined, and just show up.  It’s that easy.  Just sign up so we will know you are coming.  Bring a water bottle and a snack.  I recommend room temperature Viennas with some of that Hawaiian punch in the blue can.

SIGNUP LINK

EVENTS:

1. 100 Meter
2. 400 Meter
3. 1600 Meter
4. 135 Lbs. Bench for reps (1:00)
5. Keg Toss
6. KB Deadlift Max Reps
7. KB Cleans for time
8. 60# Sandbag Overhead Press Max
9. Sandbag lateral throw reps in 1:00 60#
10. 120# Sandbag Carry for 100 feet (Time)
11. Sandbag team carry
12. Prowler Relay for time
13. 3200 meter Speed Ruck
14. KB “shot put”
15. Bear Crawl Relay
16. OPTIONAL 5K BONUS EVENT – INDICATE INTEREST ON SIGNUP

FORMAT:

3-man teams selected by organizing committee based on signups.  Each person completes 5 events to represent his team.   Each team completes all 15 events.  Some events are team based relay race style.

FAQ:

• Q:          Is Flipper involved with this?
• A:           That is classified, but yes, with heavy restraint, supervision, and threat of sedation.

• Q:          What if I just want to hang out?
• A:           That hasn’t seemed to stop the Hydra workout for the past 2 years, so come on out.  Seriously.

• Q:          My competing days are over.  Why should I sign up for this?
• A:           Let’s face it, nobody reading this stands a chance against a reasonably fast middle schooler in a cross country race.  You come because the A51 pax haven’t done anything like this in a long time and it will be fun.

• Q:          Can I volunteer to run events or help if I don’t want to run?
• A:           Absolutely.  Indicate that on the signup.

• Q:          Will there be scouts from any prominent universities or NFL teams?
• A:           No, but I think Joker knows a kid who is an Eagle Scout so be on the lookout for that.

• Q:          I heard that lifting heavy sandbags will make your eyes look like Jack Elam.
• A:           This is confirmed.  They will go back in 3-4 weeks though, good as new.  At least one of them.

• Q:          I’m from Waxhaw, SOB, or Mint Hill.  Am I invited?
• A:           Yes, but remember who your daddy is.

• Q:          I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.
• A:           We respect your wishes.  But baby, it’s cold outside.

If you are still reading this, you are really overthinking things.  SIGN UP and show up.  It’ll be a good time.

your friend,
Horsehead