F3 Area51 BroLympics Pre-Blast

  • When:9/24/2022
  • QIC: Flipper, Joker, Hoover, Horsehead

F3 Area51 BroLympics Pre-Blast

You asked for it (well actually, you didn’t)



What:   F3 Area 51 BroLympics

When:  Saturday 9/24/22 @ 0700 – 0900

Where: South Charlotte Middle School, former home of F3 Death Valley AO (RIP)

Who:    Those who are strong, fast, or morbidly curious how they stack up physically against a bunch of middle aged bankers

Why:     Great question


You can stop reading here if so inclined, and just show up.  It’s that easy.  Just sign up so we will know you are coming.  Bring a water bottle and a snack.  I recommend room temperature Viennas with some of that Hawaiian punch in the blue can.




  1. 100 Meter
  2. 400 Meter
  3. 1600 Meter
  4. 135 Lbs. Bench for reps (1:00)
  5. Keg Toss
  6. KB Deadlift Max Reps
  7. KB Cleans for time
  8. 60# Sandbag Overhead Press Max
  9. Sandbag lateral throw reps in 1:00 60#
  10. 120# Sandbag Carry for 100 feet (Time)
  11. Sandbag team carry
  12. Prowler Relay for time
  13. 3200 meter Speed Ruck
  14. KB “shot put”
  15. Bear Crawl Relay



3-man teams selected by organizing committee based on signups.  Each person completes 5 events to represent his team.   Each team completes all 15 events.  Some events are team based relay race style.




  • Q:          Is Flipper involved with this?
  • A:           That is classified, but yes, with heavy restraint, supervision, and threat of sedation.


  • Q:          What if I just want to hang out?
  • A:           That hasn’t seemed to stop the Hydra workout for the past 2 years, so come on out.  Seriously.


  • Q:          My competing days are over.  Why should I sign up for this?
  • A:           Let’s face it, nobody reading this stands a chance against a reasonably fast middle schooler in a cross country race.  You come because the A51 pax haven’t done anything like this in a long time and it will be fun.


  • Q:          Can I volunteer to run events or help if I don’t want to run?
  • A:           Absolutely.  Indicate that on the signup.


  • Q:          Will there be scouts from any prominent universities or NFL teams?
  • A:           No, but I think Joker knows a kid who is an Eagle Scout so be on the lookout for that.


  • Q:          I heard that lifting heavy sandbags will make your eyes look like Jack Elam.
  • A:           This is confirmed.  They will go back in 3-4 weeks though, good as new.  At least one of them.


  • Q:          I’m from Waxhaw, SOB, or Mint Hill.  Am I invited?
  • A:           Yes, but remember who your daddy is.


  • Q:          I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.
  • A:           We respect your wishes.  But baby, it’s cold outside.


If you are still reading this, you are really overthinking things.  SIGN UP and show up.  It’ll be a good time.



your friend,

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