You asked for it (well actually, you didn’t)
HERE IT IS ANYWAY
What: F3 Area 51 BroLympics
When: Saturday 9/24/22 @ 0700 – 0900
Where: South Charlotte Middle School, former home of F3 Death Valley AO (RIP)
Who: Those who are strong, fast, or morbidly curious how they stack up physically against a bunch of middle aged bankers
Why: Great question
You can stop reading here if so inclined, and just show up. It’s that easy. Just sign up so we will know you are coming. Bring a water bottle and a snack. I recommend room temperature Viennas with some of that Hawaiian punch in the blue can.
- 100 Meter
- 400 Meter
- 1600 Meter
- 135 Lbs. Bench for reps (1:00)
- Keg Toss
- KB Deadlift Max Reps
- KB Cleans for time
- 60# Sandbag Overhead Press Max
- Sandbag lateral throw reps in 1:00 60#
- 120# Sandbag Carry for 100 feet (Time)
- Sandbag team carry
- Prowler Relay for time
- 3200 meter Speed Ruck
- KB “shot put”
- Bear Crawl Relay
- OPTIONAL 5K BONUS EVENT – INDICATE INTEREST ON SIGNUP
3-man teams selected by organizing committee based on signups. Each person completes 5 events to represent his team. Each team completes all 15 events. Some events are team based relay race style.
- Q: Is Flipper involved with this?
- A: That is classified, but yes, with heavy restraint, supervision, and threat of sedation.
- Q: What if I just want to hang out?
- A: That hasn’t seemed to stop the Hydra workout for the past 2 years, so come on out. Seriously.
- Q: My competing days are over. Why should I sign up for this?
- A: Let’s face it, nobody reading this stands a chance against a reasonably fast middle schooler in a cross country race. You come because the A51 pax haven’t done anything like this in a long time and it will be fun.
- Q: Can I volunteer to run events or help if I don’t want to run?
- A: Absolutely. Indicate that on the signup.
- Q: Will there be scouts from any prominent universities or NFL teams?
- A: No, but I think Joker knows a kid who is an Eagle Scout so be on the lookout for that.
- Q: I heard that lifting heavy sandbags will make your eyes look like Jack Elam.
- A: This is confirmed. They will go back in 3-4 weeks though, good as new. At least one of them.
- Q: I’m from Waxhaw, SOB, or Mint Hill. Am I invited?
- A: Yes, but remember who your daddy is.
- Q: I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.
- A: We respect your wishes. But baby, it’s cold outside.
If you are still reading this, you are really overthinking things. SIGN UP and show up. It’ll be a good time.