SOB WARS Episode 1: The Stone Chicken #CSAUP

SOB WARS Episode 1: The Stone Chicken #CSAUP

A long time ago in a F3 region far, far away…


Episode I – The Stone Chicken

This event, the first in a series of SOB #CSAUP’s pitting brother against brother, was designed to settle the long simmering feud between Stonehenge and da Vinci (with a little help from Chicken Run), and to coax PAX out of their comfort zones.   Pax were instructed to wear red if they “identified” with da Vinci and blue for Stonehenge.  Points were assigned to each PAX based on how many components of the #CSAUP they completed.  The workout with the most points received the title of world’s greatest AO and was awarded possession of a brand new SOB artifact that captures the spirit of all things #CSAUP and will be utilized in future events.  Here’s what went down.


  1. 0500: Launch from PetSmart Blakeney and run to Stonehenge (~5 mi), stopping periodically along the way for Mary to collect the six
  2. 0600: Join in the first 30 minutes of the normally scheduled Stonehenge bootcamp (Cul de Sac on Q, mostly)
  3. 0630: Run back to Blakeney (~4 mi), stopping periodically for Mary to collect the six
  4. 0730: Join in the last 30 minutes of the da Vinci bootcamp (Strange Brew on Q)
  5. Coffeeteria


Online chatter for this event was pretty weak, so YHC was worried we were headed for a repeat of South Mountain.  Expectations were dropping by the day.  But little did YHC know, tons of willing Pax were lurking in the shadows, ready to jump into the fray to help settle the score.  At first it was looking really good for Stonehenge and really BAD for dV.  Tagalong, Happy Meal, Wingman, Gruden and Tolkien were among the first wave of Pax to arrive, and every last one of them for team Stonehenge.  It was nothing but blue shirts in every direction.  Plus Tagalong’s beard.  Was the 5:00 start time just too much to ask of the da Vinci regulars?  Would Stonehenge, the OG, roll over da Vinci like a giant stale bagel?

Slowly but surely, the red tide started to come in.  It started as a trickle with Midriff, Point Break and YHC.  But then the numbers started to pile up.  PJ.  Brexit.  Softie.  HazMat.  Doc.  Chopper.  They CAN wake up early on a Saturday!  As we departed the PetSmart parking lot for the first leg of our journey it was looking pretty good for team dV.  But none of us knew who would be waiting for us at the Stonehenge AO.  Or who would be waiting when we returned to Blakeney.  It was way too early to declare victory in this title fight.

On the way to Stonehenge we made a detour behind Community House Middle School and hopped on the Ballantyne District Park trails for a while.  Because no route designed by YHC can ever be straightforward.  At first War Eagle was confused until YHC explained that the thing we were running on was called a “trail” and the surface we were running on was called “dirt”.  We mingled with some deer, who were non-committal about the whole Stonehenge vs da Vinci thing, and then exited at the Morrison Y and continued on our merry way.  We stopped 4 times on the way for Mary to regroup, with Pax taking turns calling exercises.

Upon arriving at Stonehenge we were greeted by Cul de Sac, Mighty, Frehleys, Billy Goat and Market Timer, who looked like he had rolled out of bed at that very instant.  These reinforcements could definitely help even the score, but how many would continue on, who would throw in the towel, and who would be waiting at Blakeney?  It was still anyone’s game at that point.  The only certainty was that Tagalong’s pickup bed was our de facto trash bin for empty water bottles.  This was unspoken, and understood by all.  After some quick hydration, Cul de Sac took the reigns for his 30 20 minute Q.  After COP we did a circuit involving scaling a retaining wall, squats and merkins, followed by a relay race.  Pax were divided into 2 teams of mostly blue Pax and 2 teams of mostly red Pax.  Blue dominated.  They won the battle, but would they win the war?  With the Pax out of gas and Cul de Sac out of ideas, Might Mite took over for the last few minutes and called a bear crawl, merkin ladder.  And just like that, it was time to head back to Blakeney.  We said hello to C3PO, T1000 and Johnny5, and goodbye to PJ, Chopper, Tagalong and Happy Meal and ALL of the Stonehenge Pax that had greeted us upon arrival to the Stonehenge AO.

It quickly became clear by the sea of red that the remaining Pax were overwhelmingly team dV.  Of the 19 of us at that point, only Wingman, Gruden and Tolkien remained from team Stonehenge.  It would take a monumental showing of Stonehenge Pax at Blakeney to make up the point differential.  Things were looking good for team dV.  We headed back the way we came, stopping at The Brave/Snooze Button AO for Mary.  At that point Right Turn, facing a do-or-die #CodeBrown situation decided his best option was to run home, which was closer than Blakeney.  We continued on without him, detouring again onto the trails behind Morrison Y, this time in daylight and able to appreciate the natural beauty.

We arrived back at the dV AO at the corner of Blakeney Heath and Ardrey Kell simultaneously with our next Q, Strange Brew, and 3 others: Sweetwater, Olaf and Circuit City.  This only added to team da Vinci’s lead.  It was at that moment that victory for dV was guaranteed.  There were no celebrations to be had, as we knew that after 2.5 hours of work we still had 30 minutes ahead of us.  We said so long to Tolkien and Jerry World and headed to the “Lash Studio” shopping center on AK for Brew’s bootcamp.  Brew led us through some partnered rock work and wall work, and then we Indian Ran back to Blakeney for some work on the fountain walls.  Rousey came up lame during the Indian Run with some cramps but managed to pull himself together and finish.

At COT team da Vinci was declared the winner and awarded possession of a brand spanking new snow shovel flag with an American flag, a CSAUP flag and pink rhinestone letters on the handle spelling “CSAUPS FOREVER” and on the bottom shovel part spelling “F3”, “SOB” “A51” and “WXW”.  Why a snow shovel?  Because it is the most CSAUP thing we could think of.  Snow hasn’t accumulated here in years.  The snow shovel flag will make an appearance at CSAUPS in SCLT whenever possible.  Look for it at WTF this Saturday!  We’ll come up with a good way for another AO to “win” possession in the near future.

Those that completed the entire event ran about 12 miles.  For several that is an all-time PR for mileage.  Nice work, fellas.  Congrats to Midriff on his 2nd CSAUP in as many weeks, with a third to come this weekend (WTF).  He has been all in from day 1.  What to say about Rousey?  The words that come to mind are “boundless energy and enthusiasm”.  What a great addition he has been to our region.  It was great to host Prince from F3 Alamo (San Antonio).  We hope you enjoyed it, Prince!  It was also great to have Doc McStuffins out at an event for the first time in a long time.  And of course he was the fastest guy out there.  Super annoying.  Right Turn, we hope you made it home without having to pull a Paper Jam on a sewer grate.  It was awesome having Johnny5 and T1000 participate.  Keep it up, men.

da Vinci Pax / points

  1. Midriff / 4
  2. Soft Pretzel / 4
  3. Tuck / 4
  4. Brexit / 4
  5. Doc McStuffins / 4
  6. Point Break / 4
  7. Kirby / 4
  8. Rousey / 4
  9. Jerry World / 3
  10. Paper Jam / 2
  11. Chopper / 2
  12. C3PO / 2
  13. Johnny5 / 2
  14. T1000 / 2
  15. Sweetwater / 1
  16. HazMat / 1
  17. Olaf / 1
  18. Circuit City / 1

18 Pax / 49 Points Total

Stonehenge Pax / points

  1. Wingman / 4
  2. Gruden / 4
  3. Tolkien / 3
  4. Happy Meal / 2
  5. Tagalong / 2
  6. Cul de Sac / 1
  7. Mighty Mite / 1
  8. Frehleys Comet / 1
  9. Billy Goat / 1
  10. Market Timer / 1

10 Pax / 20 Points Total

Neutral Pax / points

  1. War Eagle / 4
  2. Marvel / 4
  3. Prince (F3 Alamo) / 4
  4. Right Turn / 2
  5. Strange Brew / 1

5 Pax / 15 Points Total

A big thank you goes out to the planning team (YHC, War Eagle, Cooter2, Mighty Mite, Lex Luthor and Midriff) for helping refine a raw event idea from a #SSAMP (somewhat stupid and mostly pointless) into a true #CSAUP.  Thanks to the bootcamp Q’s Cul de Sac and Strange Brew.  Thank you to War Eagle and his M for providing the chicken sandwiches and coffee at the end.  Thanks Wingy for the tent.  Thank you to my M for making the beautiful CSAUP flag.  And last but not least, thank you to all of you idiots that trusted us enough to show up and throw yourself into something challenging, different and dumb.  You guys made this event what it was.


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