Last rites – Bulls on Parade

Last rites – Bulls on Parade

Cold morning.  Several cars in the lot upon arrival, so what would have been a great joke wasn’t going to happen.  YHC intentionally didn’t pre-blast the planned workout because it’s generally pretty awful.  Anyway, a group of 8 heard the plan and took off into the Gloom:

Thang

Partner up and run the HT Mile.

Run past the school to the fire hydrant.  Partner wheelbarrow the length of the sidewalk to the bus lot.

Mosey to the back playground.  10 pull-ups, 20 merkins, 30 Russian Twists (each side)

Mosey to the bull ring (baby track).  Burpee broad jump the turns and sprint the straightaways.

Lather, rinse, and repeat until 6:06 – then run the HT mile again.

Fin.  COT.

Moleskine

I believe everyone got in at least two, and most got in three, complete laps of the circuit.  Fewer exercise reps than normal, but the burpee broad jumps make up for it.  YHC had 3.78 miles, so not a bad day.

Talkbox came up with this workout, probably 18 months ago back when we were still unofficial #WIBHD and had a little street cred.  It was truly awful.  I think it’s +/- 1/4 mile of cumulative burpee broad jumps.  Anyway, he ran it that first time, and now, he’s missed the only two other times we did his workout.  TWO – and we’ve run several of these at least 5+ times in only 18 months – which is at least partially a function of it being the only workout that has made me curse.  Anyway, T-claps on coming up with what I considered the most awful of all the idiotic stuff we attempted, which I’ll note also included a workout that incorporated dizzy bat #beginningoftheend #jumpedtheshark #tooyoungtorememberthatHighTide.

Indulge this trip down memory lane searching for other options aka reading material (also leaving this to make searching for decent older workouts much quicker):

1. The Kirk several times
2. The Splinter – aka crapload of partner carry
3. The Double Shaft – aka Sir Lunge A lot
4. The Puddy – aka Happy High Fivers
5. My Buddy and Me
6. Cannon Call – aka Cannonball Run aka The Three Mile Murph aka Fresh Murph of Bel Aire
7. The Intimidator – set the comment record, including the underused “decided to go full retard, lion shirt?”
8. The Manmaker – the last Brushback sighting???
9. The Blue Falcon – look it up
10. Parking Lot Shuffle – Bushwood’s ill-fated attempt with 50 exercises
11. The Urologist – #itgotweird
12. The Smokey – possible SOFA WIB mileage record
13. That time Egypt called cadence
14. Modified Murphs

Sundancer messaged around 10:45 that he was “sick as a dog”.  Relaying this started a discussion on colloquialisms providing legitimacy to excuses.  Then, we all noted the missing tunes #bongos #batguanorap #SturgillSimpsonhasgrownonme.

Brushback – 1) is still alive, 2) was actually there, 3) tripped a girl walking her dog on the opening mile, and 4) never apologized for it.  She went flat on her face / stomach.  I almost got hit by a car looking back to make sure she was alright.  And Yes, that all happened in the first 7ish minutes of the workout.  Brushback was quick to note that he felt uncomfortable being judged, as he’s now accustomed to Planet Fitness’ “Judgment Free Zone”.  Despite the cocoon, we’ve noted your absence and judged you in absentia.  Surely it was Voodoo slowing you down, but maybe try the treadmill some days #lunkalarm #nailedthepullupsandwheelbarrow.  Seriously, good to have you back out for the finale!

Swiper once again pulled me around, and topped it off with a humble brag, one up.  YHC was still feeling the 8-mile run from Sunday, noting that as an excuse for being slow today, when he broke out the, “yeah, I know what you mean.  I ran 12 with Fishwrap on Sunday at 7before7 and Caffeine” #ouch.  The mind was willing today, but the body couldn’t keep up.  It almost went off the rails when Swiper nearly popped his elbow out on the partner wheelbarrow, causing YHC to nearly careen into his grundle #itgotweird.  Fortunately YHC was wearing pants, so there was no touching #nttawwt.

One Eye and Cold Cuts probably lead most of the workout.  Just an impressive Furyk-esque consistency from those two.  Appreciate both of you continuing to come out after all this time.

Gas-X with possibly the funniest (to me) line of the morning, when he said “it’s only my second time coming to this workout”.  That’s two more than most, so thank you.

Hopefully for those that posted consistency, you got faster and stronger as a result.  Hopefully there was some accountability – someone there to call you out and pick you up and drag you along when you weren’t at your best.  And hopefully, despite the at times possibly brutal / probably funny commentary, there was an unspoken knowledge that the guys there had your back.  That’s the part that was hardest to build, so the hope is that as this door closes, new ones open that are able to build upon that.  And ultimately, hopefully, several of you were driven deeper in your faith from the time spent around each other.

With the Bataan Death March (great book on the subject) of SoFa WIB, it’s been hilarious (to me) that several people have already reached out to say that they’re waiting for the come back tour.  YHC is still a believer in the workout format, but for likely a multitude of reasons, this workout never took off.  So, YHC is stepping aside, and the door is wide open for someone else to pick up the torch and carry it in another direction.

It was truly an honor and a privilege to have had the opportunity to lead this site – to fail, several hundred times over, learn, and grow as a result.  Thank you!

• Kirk