Losers wear their underwear outside their pants

Losers wear their underwear outside their pants

16 men … gloom .. red pill…you get the picture. Face it. Either you’re reading this and you already know what went down because you were there or you posted somewhere else (hope you at least broke a sweat). The rest of you, well, you should’ve posted this morning. Good luck doing this one OYO while dragging your #sadclown self through the muck (unless you’re “working out” next to a #fern, in which case you’re probably reading this while you’re “working out” which definitely means you aren’t really “working out” now, are you?). Enough of that. 16 men with attitude pushed off into the gloom:

• Run to the blocks, pick up the blocks, run with the blocks to the middle of the field. Stack blocks around the pole and continue on to the rear lot.
• Under the lights, COP:
  • SSH x25
  • IW x25
  • Merkin x20
  • Pavel’s Power Plank (aka. Chuck Norris move #1: Fists of Fury)
  • Squat x20
  • Wide-arm Merkin x15
  • Pavel’s Power Plank
  • Front Lunge x20
  • Diamond Merkin x15
  • Pavel’s Power Plank
  • Side Lunge x20
  • Burp-n-Merk 1-10
• Run back to blocks for Partner Starfish:
  • Partner 1 runs Starfish leg 1 while Partner 2 does block exercises. When Partner 1 returns and completes burpees, Partner 2 runs Starfish Leg 1. After Partner 2 completes burpees, Partner 1 moves on to Starfish leg 2 and so on…
  • Starfish: 20Merkins/5burpees/20Squats/5burpees/20Flutter/5burpees/20Merkins/5burpees/20squats/5burpees
  • Block exercises: sets of squats and overhead press
  • Finish with rousing rendition of LBCs in cadence until all guppies have returned to Starfish base.
  • Backwards roll to run (aka. Chuck Norris move #2: Ninja Roll)
• Run to playground for circuit work:
  • Circuit: 10 pullups/20jumpsquats/20single-legsquats/20derkins
  • Repeato x3
• Run back to blocks. Hoist block and run with block to super secret block storage area.
• Dodge thorn bush and replace block.
• On your belly – ready, set, go – 150 yd. jailbreak (across treacherous, sub-par county “fields”) to bushes, hurdle bushes and circle up for COT.

Moleskine:

• Disclaimer given in multiple ways despite the fact that we lacked a FNG. Figured it was a good reminder to look where you’re going and don’t be stupid, without saying, “open your eyes – don’t be stupid.” FNG or not, we all tend to be a little stupid from time to time.
• My personal favorite was disclaimer #3 (aka the angry disclaimer). Someone asked me how many block exercises to do while their partner was running the legs. Fair question. I can’t remember exactly how I responded (or why it was considered “angry” by some), but basically I let the PAX know that the # of reps were up to you — it’s always up to you how many reps you want to do. I don’t really care if you get in shape or not, it’s up to you. I love you (in that F3 brotherhood, locked shields, team sort of way), but I’m also trying to catch that guy in front of me while not being passed by the dude behind me. Sure, I want us all to be healthier, stronger, faster, etc., but I can’t make you get in shape. It’s up to you.
• Welcome to the “burp-n-merk.” Coming to us from A51’s west side (Pinelandia) this is a devious exercise of simplistic brutality. 1burpeewith1merkin, 1burpeewith2merkins, 1burpeewith3merkins … 1burpeewith10merkins. Brutal and effective.
• Didn’t exactly mean for this to be a “Chuck Norris” workout, but that’s what happens when you’re working hard and trying to have a little fun with it. Things just come out – bubbling to the surface. Why did I end my LBCs with a backwards roll? Because it was fun. If it happened to remind us of Chuck Norris in the process, then all the more reason.
• Speaking of fun, love O’Tannenbaum. Partnered up for the Starfish, dude comes running in and dives on the ground for burpee #1, huge grin on his face. Now, he probably didn’t know he was grinning. He was probably grimacing from hitting the ground so hard, but he made those burpees look fun. Well, as fun as burpees can look, anyway.
• Chuck Norris is a stud. Dude is 75 years old and posts stuff like this: http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2014/4/14/5599190/chuck-norris-bruce-lee-mma-UFC-Martial-Arts-Part-2 . Of course he would have been good at MMA – he’s Chuck Norris. (Chuck Norris and Superman got in a fight – loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants).
• Also a stud: Pavel. And he’s Russian. I was listening to a podcast where he explained that we needed to tighten our core and brace for a kick, because if he were around we probably would be kicked. Sounded like good advice. Podcast here for the next time you want to hear an ex-soviet dis you for 2 straight hours: http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/01/15/pavel-tsatsouline/
• Last note on Chuck Norris – this’ll brighten your day, even if you didn’t have theballs opportunity to join us this morning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WtZxZzFs58

Announcements:

• Matrix probably converging somewhere else next week. Watch twitter and look for the weekly email for specification and confirmation.
• There were probably other announcements, but I wasn’t listening. Read your weekly email or just show up tomorrow to hear what’s going on.