Author Archive Chelms aka Tatertot

Directions written in Japanese would be easier to follow

At least Lorax thought the instructions for our main event were in Japanese.    He clearly doesn’t pay attention for more than 5 seconds of instruction.    I think he still got his money’s worth even though he took a short cut on one of our sets.   Snooka was only too happy to play dumb and follow along in order to skip a ramp run.     Floor Slapper and Motor Boat also cut off one set of stairs but it’s ok to do that when you are not in the lead and the short cut doesn’t put you in front.  8 other men basically did the correct routine as clearly communicated in Japanese.

The Thang:

COP with 5 burpees, 15 IW, 10 burpees, and 15 mountain climbers.

Run over to the facility next to the CCHS practice field and grab a decent size rock.    Head up to top of parking deck via stairs at northwest end of deck for instructions on our main event:

  • Perform 20 curls, 20 push presses, and 20 skull crushers with rock.
  • Run down stairs, across to middle stairwell and back up to top of deck
  • Perform 20 merkins
  • Run down stairs, across to other end of deck and back to top of deck
  • Perform 20 squats
  • Run down stairs to level 1 and then up the ramps back to rocks.
  • Grab rock and head back down stairs, over to middle stairs, and back up to top
  • Perform 20 curls, 20 push presses, and 20 skull crushers
  • Down stairs, over to other end, and back up to top
  • Perform 20 merkins
  • Down stairs and up ramps to level 4
  • Perform 20 squats
  • Down stairs, over to middle and back up to level 4
  • Grab rock, back down stairs, over to end of deck and back up to level 4
  • Perform 20 curls, 20 push presses, and 20 skull crushers
  • Back down stairs and then up ramps to level 4
  • 20 merkins
  • Back down stairs, over to middle, and back up to level 4
  • 20 squats
  • Back down stairs, over to end, and back up to level 4
  • Finish set

COP for a few minutes of mary waiting for pax to finish up.  Take rock back down to resting place and mosey back to starting point.    Finish with a few minutes of exercises (don’t recall what they were – I was smoked at this point).


Great morning and strong group of 12.   Hops was actually early so the morning was perfect, even the directions.  Cane has been getting his money’s worth in the gym and he hung up around front all morning while Lorax and Snooka took a DQ for the short cut.   Hopefully the new faces experienced a good workout.

It’s good to see the numbers consistently above 10 as 10-16 is a perfect number in my view.    Next time we will flip the tractor tires down on the practice field.

As always, it was a privilege to lead such a great group of men.

Announcements – Hawks Nest still meeting at Dunkin Donuts until at least Labor Day.   Will find a new AO if Charlotte Latin campus doesn’t reopen then.



A Merkin is once again a push up

Per Q Source, disruption is part of leadership.   Humans tendency is to stay “comfortable” and not change.  A leader realizes that disruption is needed in order to move a group toward advantage.   With that in mind, 13 PAX got to experience another attempt by YHC at disruption.   We also got to learn from failure.  Some examples of my attempt at disruption:

  1. Calling for push ups instead of merkins.  This caused a lot of disruption with Mermaid contemplating revoking my life time membership at Centurion
  2. Trying a new theme – The Equalizer.    This quickly morphed into Equalizer 1.1 and 1.2 is already being designed
  3. Calling for high dolly when I meant high flutter

If nothing else, the PAX got in some quality running and a few pain stations.

The Thang – Warm up with SSH’s, Mtn Climbers, and a ladder of burpees and jump squats (1/2, 2/4, 4/6, and 6/8)

Mosey up to top of Tartarus where YHC attempted to explain the Equalizer before quickly realizing I am better at showing then telling.     Run down steps and then do called exercise at each corner (four corners)  around outside of football field before turning around and retracing steps to the start.   Idea was to let the PAX turn around as soon as the Rabbit came by on his way back.   The rabbit wasn’t fast enough on the first round so all the PAX made it to the fourth corner and thus still had to do the bear crawls.   I modified for round 2 and 3 to have the rabbit run all the way to the fourth corner and then start the exercises at the fourth corner.  This saved the 6 all of about 10 yards and one set of exercises.

Round 1 – Pushup, Round 2 – LBC’s, Rounrd 3 – Jump Squats

I quickly decided to put the equalizer back into R&D so we moseyed down the short ramps to level 1 for a few minutes of mary before we partnered up for some alternating sprints and exercises.

Round 1 – Sprint and push ups

Round 2 – Backward run and CDD

Round 3  Karaoke and LBC’s

Mosey over to the brick benches for a few rounds of Dips with step ups and decline merkins in between.  Then back to launch point for last 5 minutes with more mary, a minute of burpees, and jump squats.


Nice to see the numbers climb up into the teens with strong group.    Escargot showed up for the start but had to bail during warm up due to bad back.

Icky should be renamed cheetah – fastest man in the 20 yard dash but has to lie down and take a nap at yard 21.

Work week has worn me out so I’m got nothing else except kudos for the PAX for indulging me this morning.

Speak for Yourself

It’s hard to get it up – Anonymous

I don’t have trouble getting it up – speak for yourself – Snooka

I don’t get no respect – Rodney Dangerfield (and YHC)

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield and Snooka

The Fishing Hole is at CCHS on Thursday morning but old men and their stories of big feats showed up on this Friday morning. YHC noted how my soccer arms are not conducive to pull ups and several PAX took it as an opportunity to brag about their manhood.

The Thang:

COP – SSH x20, Merkins x10, Mtn Climbers x15, Jumping lunges x10, Squats with jump up x10

Mosey over to lane beside football field for the beast – 6 trips down and back with 6 stops to perform 6 of called exercise

  • Squats
  • Merkins
  • LBC’s
  • Mtn Climbers
  • Imperial walkers
  • Burbees (of course)

Mosey over to rock pile across the road and grab a rock (Champagne is once again an over achiever) for a series of exercises

  • Curls x20
  • Skull Crushers x15
  • Curls x20
  • Skull Crushers x15
  • Lunge walk with push press
  • Squats (rock should touch the ground)
  • Side lunges
  • Shelf Stackers – 10 each side

Mosey back to the school for a few sets of incline merkins and pull ups. This is where Mermaid noticed my need to use a little body motion to “get up” toward the end of the pull up set. Snooka smartly jumped in to disassociate himself from YHC

Run up far right stairs to level 4, down stairs in middle to bottom, and up to level four on far left stairs.

Partner work – P1 sprints down half way of deck and P2 performs called exercise. Flapjack after P1 gets back. We did peoples chair, decline merkins, LBC’s and burpees

Down the stairs and over to brick yard for descending ladder of 20, 15, 10 step ups and dips.

Mosey back to launch point and finish with squats

NM – The banter was constant. Just like Sondland, I “believe” there were impeachable offenses committed in the discussions but I didn’t hear all of the conversations so its not admissible. Clover was discussing sci fi movies (I think) while Snooka made sure everyone knows his performance at home is just as strong as at the workout. That was his claim and it probably is impeachable.

Getting older is a hurdle to accleration. I am no longer able to push the PAX like I once did and thus I have had to learn to accept this and push to dish out the hardest workout I can even if its not the same. The workout is a chance to get better no matter what age. We can make small positive changes in our life each day until they become habits. Then make another small change until it becomes a habit. Find a blade to help with accountability – its hard to accelerate if you don’t have someone pushing you. New Years Resolutions often fail because the change is too drastic to become a habit. Small changes (bricks per Dredd) will allow you to build up guard rails over time. Then you are prepared to accelerate and in turn you can help others accelerate. Good read in Q Source on this – .

Announcements – Check the web site/ or Slack for holiday week workouts/convergences. No Centurion next Friday at there is convergence at Cerebrus

As always, I am blessed to be among such fine men that help me push myself and get better.

Complacency leads to failure

YHC has been doing F3 for a long time (don’t ask how long) and learned a lesson this morning in becoming complacent. The Q is supposed be prepared, give concise directions to entire pax and make sure they understand. YHC allowed complacency to creep up that hopefully will not jeopardize our ability to work out at Calgary.

A Q should be prepared for all possible outcomes and plan accordingly. Cars driving thru a dark parking lot at 5:45 is one of those potential outcomes. As such, the Q should make sure the PAX understands that this might happen and give directions to avoid an incident. YHC briefly instructed PAX, all of whom likely were not even within ear shot distance, to place rocks off the road when not in use. As a result, a few rocks were placed in a parking spot and in a lane. Next thing we know, a car drives over one or two of said rocks and thus Lorax will be called to the principal’s office (well, preacher).

Lesson is that YHC needs to remember that planning and clear directions are necessary no matter how long one has Q’d. This one is on me and I hope others will learn from my mistake.

The Thang – 15 men gathered not withstanding the pending rain – even Spackler didn’t refusnik this one.

Warm up with 10 8 count burpees, 10 mtn climbers, 10 merkins, and 10 peter parkers.

Mosey over to middle parking lot for four corners with sprint to each corner and 10 of called exercise at each corner.

  • Squats
  • Merkins
  • LBC’s
  • Imperial walkers
  • Flutter kicks
  • Burpees (5 each corner)

Mosey to rock pile and grab a mid size rock. This was the point at which the Q should have made sure all PAX were listening clearly and acknowledged the instructions. Lunge walk with push press down to 2nd island. Sprint to 2nd light post and back. Walk to middle aisle and perform skull crushers with your rock. Sprint to 2nd basketball goal and back. Lunge walk with push press to next island and sprint to 2nd basketball goal and back. Walk to next island while doing curls and then bear crawl to first light and sprint to 2nd light and back. Walk to pavilion while doing curls.

Modified Jacobs ladder with burpees at top and squats with rock presses at the bottom. 1 to 7 (7 trips up and down) . Six minutes of mary at the end to let the heart rate come down a tad.

Carry rock back to pile with curls and lunge walks on the way. Finish with 20 sumo squats.

Run back to starting point and finish with some more mary and 1 minute of burpees.


I’m still pissed that I didn’t give better instructions. Don’t let this happen to you.

Margo is now up for rename. He tried to poke the bear with a tweet about how easy the workout would be and then didn’t get his lame ass out of bed. I think Fartsack is a good new name for him – that’s what I will call him regardless.

Strong work although the respects were out front for the most part. Young guys need more pride (and learn to get a jump start like YHC). Call Snooka or Magoo if you need some help keeping your wife/girl friend satisfied.


Coat drive ends early tomorrow (delivery at 9am) so contact me for any last minute deliveries.

Humbled to lead such a great group and learned from my failure this am

Bring your slightly worn coats to a workout

We are collecting used coats/jackets for West Blvd Ministry’s coat drive with delivery on 11/2 (men’s, women’s, and kids). Several guys helping collect (Hops, Mermaid, Lorax) or contact me at for pick up.

We have several more weeks so let’s amp up the chatter and knock it out. Shoe is in the lead with 6 (3 delivered and 3 on back-order) and I can tell you it will not be pretty if he wins the most coats delivered competition (for which the winner will get a 6 pack of beer) so help a brother out.

Where is the Accountability

YHC is going to hold the PAX accountable for not holding YHC accountable. After jumping on the Horsehead band wagon about writing timely BB’s, YHC has delayed 3 days to write the Centurion BB. Yet I have not received one ounce of criticism (heck – I didn’t even send out a tweet about being late and that’s easy). The little things matter and we all need to hold each other accountable to do what the job requires. Being Q means you write a BB. We are all fallible and need to hold each other accountable on all things – big and small.

The Thang:

Quick COT with SSH, Merkins, Mt Climbers, Parker Petters and Squats

Jog up to shopping center for a ladder with odds on 2nd level being burpees and even’s on bottom being squat jumps (24 burpees and 30 squat jumps – Q got the order right)

Jog over to Palantine hill and modifying due to construction at the office building (poor recon). Partner up for another ladder with burpees on top of hill and partner hand slap merkins after jogging in opposite directions to opposite side of parking lot. Three rounds (9 burpees and 12 hand slap merkins). Mary while we waited on the six.

Jog back to school for two sets of balls to the wall walk, bear crawl and lunges. Over to brick benches for 10, 15, 10 dips, incline merkins, and step ups.

Over to back side of football field for a suicide run down and back to the three speed bumps. Back to lot for a few minutes of COP.

NM – Small but highly effective group out this am. We mixed up just for Margo and he failed to show. Hops “recruited” Dreyfuss to Centurion and then failed to show. Would have been nice to get pax count to 10 so it’s on those two that we fell short.

Pretty sure that’s the first workout in a long time (probably ever) where neither Champagne nor Mermaid criticized my form. Must be improving in my old age (or not cheating as much).

Announcements – Collecting coats for Westside Ministry on November 2. Please help me gather at different AO’s. Dreyfus moved down from Ohio and indicated he had a trailer full so it was a good start.

Please consider helping out on Saturday with various third F opportunities in West Charlotte, Revolution at 7 at Revolution Park, workout at Men’s Shelter at 9 and Revolution 2.0 at Stratford YMCA at 11. Lot’s of men and teens in our community that could use our encouragement and guidance.

Strong take out by Lorax.

First time for everything – thank goodness

PAX – Chelms (WD), One Eye, Mr Brady (R), Brady Bunch, Chalet, About Time, Heart Breaker, Pop Tart, Crawfish

Mr Brady made thru the workout and COT with his wife beater still on and the rest of the PAX were pleasantly surprised (several were facing the other way in COT until YHC noted it was safe to look). I guess the cool wet grass down on the lacrosse field kept the temperature low enough. It would have been nice to have a pool instead of the field as carrying rocks under water would have been much easier. Between the humidity and the rocks, YHC got my monies worth but the Hate’s may have been looking for more.

The Thang:

COP – SSH, Mtn Climbers, Merkins, Squats, 5 burpees

Mosey across the street and head down to Carmel Middle – stopping at each speed bump for 5 burpees. Plank at school waiting for the six and then run around to back of school – passing Gladiator crew setting up (why would a man ever pay to workout at 5:30).

COP – Merkins, Diamonds, CDD, Boone (L and R)

Grab a rock and find a partner (don’t grab a partner and find a rock like One Eye tried to do – never ends well). Head over to Lacross field where we alternated sprints down the field and called exercise at the line. We did curls, push presses, squats, merkins, dolly, flutter, etc. etc and we ran full field sprints, karaoke, rock carries, bear crawls, and backward runs (YHC was smoked after this set).

Mosey over to behind the school after dropping of coupon for a minute or so of wall sit and then over to benches in front of school for dips and incline merkins – rinse and repeat.

Run back to launch point with 5 burpees at each speed bump (One Eye and Mr Brady were Refusniks at this point but YHC dutifully performed what I called even if my form was, well, typical).

COP – with LBC (One Eye) and heels to heaven (Mr Brady) before finishing the last 1 1/2 minutes with burpees (longest 1 1/2 of the morning by far).

NM – Great group as teams larger than 12 are hard to lead and even harder to remember everyone’s name. I like to force myself to recall names instead of using a phone as it forces me to go around and meet the guys I don’t know (Brady Bunch, Heart Breaker, Crawfish this am).

Can someone tell me the secret sauce to the gladiator camp? Do they give out free stuff with your fee or have an awesome DJ to keep the tunes rolling? Strippers? Happy Hour at 6:16am (I might go for that)? Just don’t get why a man would pay someone for an orchestrated workout when he can experience a complete cluster of a workout that I lead. Probably better marketing

Announcements – I urge men to look around and see a problem in our society they can attack. If you look at the health and skills of our teens you can see they lack a lot. We can always use more help with teen engagement, especially from guys who have a practical skill like wood working, engine repair, carpentry, cooking or anything of real value (no lawyers, financial consultants, or salesmen need apply – just kidding).

One Eye took us out – thanks for praying for our kids as they go back to school. May they find their purpose much earlier in life than YHC did. As an addition, let’s continue to pray for About Time’s 2.0. He doing great but has a ways to go before the chance of recurrence goes away.

The Count is 100 (thankfully we had Ti81 calculator with us)

A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction… my trusty pocket calculator.

Ten men did the right thing and took the DRP to Get Right on Friday. It was a good day starting with a grand entrance by Blueberry Mint and ending with debate on whether it was better to see boobs on a slide ruler or a Ti81. After a thorough disclaimer by YHC, we got after it

The Thang:

COP with SSH x4 (Purple Haze refusnik caused me to shut it down quickly), Mtn Climbers X14, Squats X11, Appollo Ono’s X10, and Merkins X10 with a few burpees thrown in for good measure.

Grab 2 pavers and take off on Centurion mile (up to Carmel, right to 51, back down to school, and up short ramps to level 4). Merkins until the 6 gets in and does 20 Merkins.

With pavers, run down to level 1, up the long ramp to level 3, down to other end, up short ramp to level 4. Wall sits with push presses waiting on the six.

Without pavers, down to level 1 and then take short ramps back up to level 4. Plank while we wait on the six.

6MOM while holding pavers behind your head – flutter, dolly, box cutters, and LBC’s

Mosey down to level 1 for ramp sprints up to level 3 and mosey back to 1. Goal is to elevate heart rate on sprint up and then recover (walk or slow mosey) on the way down. We ran it 3 times (not 100 as I threatened).

Mosey out to fence around football field. Four corners sans pavers with 10 dragon kicks at first corner, 10 pull ups at 2nd, 10 merkins at 3rd and 10 burpees at 4th.

With pavers, run around football field and back to the parking lot to finish with a few minutes of Mary


Exciting start as Brilleuax was on time and Blueberry Mint (ie vape flavor) comes rolling in on an powered scooter. Purple Haze knew what was coming and he posted anyway. I use the pavers in attempt to slow the rabbits down but it didn’t work as they still beat me on the 1 mile run. The pavers make the run both mentally and physically challenging.

Several times I encouraged the PAX to expect the count to be 100. I got 9 blank stares each time I said this so had to explain in COT why I was saying it. The idea is that you should always expect the count to be 100 so you push hard until the Q calls halt instead of trying to anticipate the count and slacking off early.

Mistakenly thought PH was criticizing my form on one exercise (no one ever does that) but it was actually a self critique.

Long discussion on the evolution of calculators from counting on 10 fingers to abacus, to slide rule, and then eventually Ti81 Inspire (Why didn’t the PAX include Inspire when they named him Ti81). As usual, Prohibition added thought provoking dialogue by noting he figured out how to spell “boob” on his calculator in high school (or was that last week at work?).

Good mix of young and old out this week from several Hate Hates to WD Snooka.


YHC recommended the PAX read the Q Source ( ) as it is great source of information for personal development. The four quadrants are Get Right, Live Right, Lead Right, and Leave Right. Very practical with good examples and thought provoking discussion.

Revolution and Revolution 2.0 on Saturday morning are great opportunities for 3rd F. Revolution 2.0 is at 11am on Saturday at Stratford YMCA on West Blvd and information on Revolution is at 7am at Revolution Park

Thanks to Margo for taking us out

“Area 51 workouts are much harder than SOB” – Anonymous

This AO is by far the hardest workout of any Wednesday site in F3 nation” – Site Q

The Site Q needs to fix the darn stop light at the intersection so PAX don’t arrive late

Chelms upon arriving 1 minute early – which is 4 minutes late in my book

It was a tense beginning with Purple Haze visibly anxious that he was going to have to take the Q but relieved when YHC drove up at 5:29. The rest of the PAX were not so sure. YHC is old but that means I’m more ornery in the early morning.

The Thang:

Mosey to middle of parking lot for COP (all in cadence to 10) – SSH, Mtn Climbers, Merkins, Parker Peters (confused some PAX), and slow squats.

Five hard backward runs down the lot with recovery pace back to start line.

Grab a lifting rock for some suicide ladders. 5, 10, 15, 20 of called exercises between starting point and lines on the lot (carry rock only to first line on first two rounds)

  • Round 1 – Curls and merkins
  • Round 2 – Squats and CDD
  • Round 3 – (carry rock each time but only to first line) Sit ups and push presses
  • Round 4 – Lunge walks between two signs with push presses in between and after first and second trip down

Drop off rocks and jog down to other end of campus for six minutes of mary with dolly, rosalita, flutters, and LBC

Over to hot box for three sets of dips, decline merkins, and step ups (5, 10, 15)

Back to parking lot for 6 circuits of karaoke (hard down and recovery back). Then some bear crawl, broad jumps, crab walks, and lunges before heading back to cars. Finished up last few minutes with flutters and LBC

Naked Moleskin:

The anonymous source for the title of the BB is someone that likes to play tag and also just wants everyone to get along. YHC takes it as a compliment and also had to include it so I could gas light the SOB crowd. I’ll now be known in SOB land as Chelms aka Tater Tot aka They Hate Me. Lorax immediately jumped in to support this claim with proof, per him, being that Anvil is the hardest Wednesday workout.

Lorax needs a contact at DOT to get the lights fixed. Other than Hops, the rest of us follow stop light rules and don’t run red lights. Speculation is that Brilleaux hacked into the system so he would have an excuse every week for being late (he says I left early today and his protest has been registered with the F3 Area 51 rules committee)

Purple Haze was heard grumbling early on since we didn’t start immediately with COP but he got over it. He even listened to my directions once (first time ever). Based on his suggestion, a one armed plank with weight on right hand is now done with left arm down since only right should be held up in the air (#MAGA)

I learned this am that they found He Hate Me after he had gone missing. Per Lorax, he was found somewhere in SC with some derogatory remark that PH was not able to reply too. Of course, it’s hard to reply to a derogatory remark about S.C. because, well, it’s SC.

YHC heard a few PAX silently ask for reminder as to what a Parker Peter is. I’ll have to admit I meant to call Peter Parker but Parker Peter is a real exercise.

The Respects were in full force this morning with 4 of the 10 over 50. Strong work but I still content that Snooka could not pass a drug test if he had too.


Pool party hosted by our anonymous source that likes playing tag after the Crane Relays. $10 if you are in SOB land but free if you live in Area 51 because we’re better and they just want us to show up to make the party cool and fun.

Please consider posting one Saturday morning at 11am for teen workout at the Stratford Robinson YMCA on West Blvd. – 2.0 friendly

Snowflake took us out in prayer – AYE

Get me off this F’n Roller Coaster

6 PAX posted for a Roller Coaster ride at Horsey (The Mouth may have barfed before the train pulled into the parking lot at 6:15 while YHC was fine since I ran on a virtually empty stomach – seasoned veteran).

The Thang – Run down to bottom of Blue Ridge for instructions. Route is up to Mountain View and take a right, wind around to Wilby and take all the way down to Sardis. Turnaround to head back up Wilby and then veer right onto Mountain View before taking right back down Blue Ridge. We then continued this loop but adding hill repeats on the three steep hills with 2 rounds the 2nd time and 3 rounds the third time. Run as hard as you can up the hill and then mosey/walk back down to get heart rate back down. The third time around was awful and only Sea World and Full House wanted to continue riding the coaster past 6:00am. The other four did some recovery exercises at the flag pole until the two over achievers made it back before a resounding Pledge of Allegiance at 6:10. We then sprinted/limped/Ubered back to the parking lot for COT. Mileage was in the 5 to 6.5 mile range is my guess (YHC was on the low end of the range)

NM – The guy who stated “Everyone likes a roller coaster” has never posted to Horsey (much like most of F3 Area 51 and Metro this year). This roller coaster not only can make you hurl but also causes dizziness, shortness or complete lack of breath, black-outs, insulting of friendly guys next to you and general hate for early morning. But otherwise, it’s great.

Don’t know if good or bad but I think Chester may have been kicked out of the nest by his parents. Have yet to see anyone outside in their bath robe smoking cigarettes but the dad continues to leave at 5:30. This may be why Prohibition stopped posting #bromance.

Mr. Belding didn’t realize what he was getting into (I gave him a kick ass sales pitch as follows: Me – “You want to run some hills in the am” Mr B – “Sure” Me – “Great – pick you up at 5) but he did come to recognize the value of a good Horsey workout. He even offered me free fire wood when I dropped him off.

I’d say there were not 6 men in F3 nation that got in a harder workout this am. Hill repeats after 4 miles of running are no joke. The few minutes of Mary/plank work at 6:05 were pure bliss compared to running the hills.

Egypt has the Q next week and I’ve been told it involves whips and chains. Luckily, I”ll be DR in Wilmington next week.