Getting Weird on Friday the 13th

Getting Weird on Friday the 13th

It was a balmy full mooned Friday morning on the 13th of September at Centurion. What you are about to read may be disturbing for some. Discretion is advised.

I arrived still suffering from liver overuse from my work trip in DC where I slept in the tiniest hotel room in the United States. You can check my Gram for pictures. It would have been perfect for someone of Purple Haze’s stature. He actually wouldn’t have known what to do with all that space. For me (and the rest of the normal sized world) it freaked me out. I laid there being able to touch both walls at the same time. Sweating from lack of air circulation, yet the AC cranked as cold as possible. All of my clothes were damp each morning. All of this gave me time. Time to think. My thoughts got pretty dark. Really dark. I tried thinking of what would be a gnarly workout for Friday the 13th. I looked up countless Jason Voorhees references. Wondered if we could really find a Crystal Lake. Thought about if Kevin Bacon regretted being in that movie. How did that little boy who died turn into a grown ass man that haunts people years later after his mom butchered all those teenagers? Sorry…I forgot to add #spoilers.

All this to say, I ended getting so sidetracked I completely forgot to plan anything out for Centurion. The only thing I had was running the Centurion Mile and doing 13s in the deck. The whole rock thing didn’t jump into my head until about 5:12 this morning. Full moon? Not a coincidence.

So at 5:29:30, I gave out the disclaimer. I reminded everyone that I’m not a professional (these guys do need reminding of that from time to time. I mean, just look at me. Chiseled body of a god.). Then I let everyone know that with the calendar being Friday the 13th with a full moon, things would get weird. I was hoping to get a little dragon play in today, but we ran out of time. Ok, you ready for me to actually talk about the workout yet? Fine, here goes:

First off: 13 burpees OYO. Always a crowd pleaser. Got some “that’s not weird, that’s just stupid” and Haze’s classic “this is how we get injured”. Hush old man. It’s good for you.

From there, run out of the parking lot up Little and make a quick stop at the rock pile. Instructions were given to grab a “running friendly” rock. Ickey decided not to listen and grabbed a boulder to which he did not realize he would regret so quickly. After I told everyone to follow me and we got enough steps away that one could not easily exchange their rock, I told everyone to finish the Centurion Mile with the rock. See you all at the top of the deck!

COP:

• SSH x 13
• Merkins x 13
• Low Slow Squat x 13 (this is about the time Margo figured out the pattern. He’s slow, but we love his Christmas lights) (this is also the time that Ickey made it to the top of the deck and threatened to throw me off the side…or something like that)
• Mountain Climbers x 13
• Wide Arm Merkins x 13
• Peter Parkers x 13

Take your rock and go down the step to the first floor for 13s

• Run to top of long ramp: 12 merkins
• Run down to middle of long ramp: 1 jump squat
• Back and forth until 1 merkin and 12 jump squats.
• Keep your rock with you at all times

Margo was the trend setter by ditching his rock early. Hopper quickly followed, then a majority of the pax did too. Weak sauce. Props to Ickey, Thunder Road, Marconi, Lorax (and of course YHC) for keeping their coupon the entire time. IF I missed someone there, my apologies. My cognac laced sweat was pouring into my eyes pretty good by that time. Haze did ask me about half way through if I planned to finish the 13s. C’mon man. Of course. And we did! We threw 13 LBCs in at the end while everyone wrapped up.

Time to run all the way back to the rock pile. We stopped on Little to get some curls in while we waited for Champagne. When can call him Simon since he took Ickey’s rock for the run back. #HIM

Back to the parking lot with 5 minutes left. Time filler: Line up A BREAST.

• Bear crawl from one end to the other and sprint back.
• Lunge Walk
• Burpee Broad Jump

Finish up with some Mary:

• Freddie Mercury x 13
• Something else x 13
• Heels to Heaven x 13

That’s it folks. Stay weird out there.

-Pro

Announcements:

1. Speed For Need – Isabella Santos 9/28
2. New 3rd F on the 25th @ Middle James Brewery (old Pineville Golf Center) called Question
3. Chelms needs friends. Seriously. But really, lots of help needed on Saturday mornings with Men’s Shelter and other things.