Author Archive Tiger-Rag

Deadlifts + Meat = Winning

The High T concept:

  • 45 minutes of Olympic and/or barbell lifts;
  • 15 minutes of a TBQ finisher
  • On-site #BroJangles, heavy on the meat.  Yes: we are grilling brats, sausage and other forms of animal flesh.

High T is a simple antidote to the region’s escalating BRRification:  No fartleks here (unless you eat a sleeve of fig newtons the night before); just meat sweats and meat.

Today’s Sampler Platter

  • Deadlifts: 3×5
  • Power Cleans: 3×5
  • Standing Press: 3×5
  • Prowler and Farmer Carries

Same exercises for rounds two and three, with 2×5 and 1×5, respectively.

MOLESKINE

We’ll do this all summer from 0600 to 0700 at Calvary’s Muscle Beach (the volley ball courts).  On-site BroJangles to follow with meat and beverage.  Bring some, share some.

What we learned doing the soft launch:

  1. To avoid swapping out plates, we will pair up most weeks based on similar strength.  One will work, one will rest.
  2. This will only work as BYOB – Bring Your Own Barbell (and plates)  If you plan on coming you and a partner need to bring a barbell and plates.  There’s simply not enough gear to go around unless you bring it.  If your pair doesn’t bring a barbell and plates you will likely not get to use a barbell and plates at the workout.

Start hitting the garage sales, neighbors, consignment centers, etc. Get a bar and weights and join us.  Strong fixes everything.

Yucca Repeats

Three went the full Horsey at 0515; five more opted for the 3/4 Horsey at 0530.  Take a tour of the long track (including the spur to the Yucca) and back down to the manhole for the suggested Weinke:  Yucca repeats.

  • Start: manhole cover at the base of Blue Ridge
  • Right onto Mountain View
  • Run to the Yucca plant at the top of the hill on Blue Ridge dead end
  • Backtrack the same route back to the manhole cover.

That’s one loop.  Repeato until about 0610 and then jailbreak to the gravel lot.  Audible with an impromptu Pledge of Allegiance at the LED flagpole, then back to lot.

OLD MOLEY

  • Hairball, Haze and Stone Cold opt for the extra credit 0515 option.
  • No Speedo Man today.
  • No Sunwalker today.
  • No Horsehead on a bike.
  • Stone Cold, aka Rosie Ruiz, still holds the tainted F3 record (assisted by the Garmin teleportation feature) for the Mt CLT long track. Doesn’t plan to erase it and tells Frasier to “suck on that, Slim.”  His words, not mine.
  • Welcome to HoMcHA FNGs Titan, Haze, Geraldo, and Blue Rhino.
  • Regular time next week at 0515.  Rosie on Q.
  • Here is the movie I was talking about in COT:  Taking Chance.  Great Memorial Day movie to watch with family.

The GoFour

The real Four Year Death Valley Anniversary was three months ago (02-18).  I suppose this was meant to be the observed anniversary for moving to the SCMS site, but that was 05-16.  So I reckon this turns out to be the week-after observed anniversary celebration.  The workout equivalent of buying a convenience store flower for your wedding anniversary on the way home from work.  Such is the state of things at Dolly Gloss / Semi-Wood Death Valley.

We started by testing both Site Qs’ historical knowledge of the site under their charge. It didn’t take long. I chose 10 of the 21 questions listed below.  Four or more wrong meant we would do a Hairburner Mile.  Three or less wrong meant we would do the GoFour (the Gopher with four man teams).  Asked questions in bold.

  1. Name one of the two original DV site Qs.  Wrong
  2. Name the two prior sites for DV prior to SCMS. Wrong
  3. When did it start at original AO?
  4. How many times has DV met before today?
  5. How many Pax have posted at DV in new site?
  6. When did we start at current DV Site?
  7. In the infamous Harris Teeter workout, what kind of coupons did the Shore use?
  8. What was Donkey Kong’s original name? Correct (with help)
  9. Why did it change? Correct (with help)
  10. Short Sale had his first Q at DV? Who is he now? Correct
  11. What is the (non-convergence) record high attendance at DV?
  12. Which workout was formed soon thereafter as a result?
  13. Who was the creator of the three man Indian Run?  Wrong
  14. Which jackwagon Q had us doing headers with an imaginary soccer ball?
  15. On 12-19-12, one of the greatest nickname conspiracies in F3 occurred. Who were the co-conspirators and what was the conspiracy?
  16. Whose signature move is the one-legged burpee?  Correct
  17. Who’s signature workout was the Gopher? Correct (barely)
  18. What did we name the Pax named Motherhead?
  19. Who Q’d the original Hairburner Mile?  Wrong
  20. Which Q broke a cinder block during an exercise of Suicidal Block Toss?   Correct
  21. Who “tripped on a pine cone” and/or got decked by 777 on the way to Davie?

If you think you can do better, sound off in the comments.

Four wrong meant that we were to do a Hariburner Mile.  Except that I didn’t feel like loading up the plates this morning, and I noticed in skimming through 20 pages of backblasts that Gloss just ran it a month ago.  So we (in the royal sense) opted to run the signature DV workout:  the Gopher.  The special 4th anniversary edition would be four man teams, not two.  Hence the GoFour.

All Pax convene on the veranda of Semi-Gloss’s Office.

  • Pair 1: a lap around the track and back.
  • Pair 2: down to the bleachers for 20 supines, 20 derkins, 20 dips.
  • Reconvene on the veranda for 40 team burpees, all whilst enjoying the universally acclaimed workout jamz.

RINSE and REPEAT until 6:15.

OLD MOLEY

  • I had a great time skimming through the 20 pages of DV backblasts. Lots of good memories in there and a reminder to be grateful for this gift we have in F3.  I encourage you to read back through BBs sometime, especially if you are a new Site Q.  You never know when that info will come in handy.
  • The brain trust of Dollywood and Gloss was a sight to behold.  It was a bit unfair to DW–he just stood there, with his budding Man Bun, waiting for the Senior Site Q to help him out.  He’s not even a year into F3, so not much he could have done there.  Gloss, though….well, he was Gloss.  And I mean that in the best possible way.
  • Lots of excitement about the playlist thrown together at the last minute. Didn’t get Pat Boone on there but there was some Barry Manilow and Public Enemy to keep you guessing.
  • Had to take evasive actions coming into the lot this morning at 0510. Got tailed by an unidentified black vehicle and thought I was about to Voodoo/Checkpointed.  Turns out it was Dollywood coming in for his 30 minute pre-workout meditation. Kind of like Gloss’s but different.
  • The workout delivered as usual. Still amazed that the timing on the lap and bleacher work synchronizes so well.  To claps to 49er on working that out years ago.
  • Despite their almost non-existent knowledge of even the most basc facts of their workout, Gloss and ‘Wood keep DV atop the Wednesday workout heap.  They get the important stuff right.  TClaps to both of you.

PLAYLIST (in reverse order)

  • 911 is a Joke – Public Enemy
  • Bar Exam – The Derailers
  • Battleship Chains – Georgia Satellites
  • Mandy – Barry Manilow (REPRISE)
  • Up All Night – Slaughter
  • Sweet Dreams are Made of This – The Soul Rebels
  • Bodies – Drowning Pool
  • Too Much Time on My Hands – Styx
  • The Wind – Zach Brown Band
  • Mandy – Barry Manilow
  • Now That We’ve Found Love – Heavy D

Close Encounter

Fifteen benchmarked their hill readiness under the double full moons at this morning’s Blue Ridge Prelay.  The reputed home of the CLT Running Co’s BRR hill training is really a tale of two courses. The front half (from the base of Blue Ridge) to the back side of the loop (at the top of the Blue Ridge cut through) gives you all the hills you can handle.  The back half (Wilby to Mountain View) is a nice recovery to get your head (and legs) right.  There are plenty of options for each runner to choose his own adventure.

After a half mile mosey, the recommended course for today:

  • Start at the Base of Blue Ridge and Old Bell
  • Right on Mountain View
  • Straight onto Wilby
  • Left on Mountain View
  • Right back down Blue Ridge to start/finish point.

Rinse and Repeat until 6 AM.  This is the Mt CLT Strava Segment  but I added a descent back down Blue Ridge (seems like an incomplete loop to me…).

At 6 AM we gathered at the Bottom of Blue Ridge to run to the Yucca plant at the top of the Old Bell dead end.  Then dealer’s choice: for the frisky, hill repeats up and down Blue Ridge to sweep the six.  For the rest, head back to gravel lot on the flat and speedy Old Bell Rd.

OLD MOLEY

  • I think we can all agree on two things:  the course is as tough as the name is bad.  You can blame the name on me but as Patton said: “A good AO name, violently executed now, is better than a perfect AO name next week.”  If you’d like to give your opinions of the course to Horsehead, email him at ForeheadMustache@gmail.com.
  • Not sure how many intentionally modified the descent down Blue Ridge each lap, or if they “accidentally” missed it.  Seems a shame to leave that out of the loop.  I mean, if you are coming for hills, go big.
  • Speaking of….Laettner continues his obsession with hills and smelled of mashed potatoes.  He made good on his premeditated refusnik and ran repeats from the dead squirrel to the yucca plant most of the morning.
  • If that’s not weird enough, somewhere around Lap 4, Stone Cold saw what he claimed was a “man wearing nothing but a sweatshirt” at the corner of Wilby and Mountain View.  After Soul Glo’s “Bunny” encounter, I am a bit more skeptical  of these types of  reports, but I’ll be doggone if I didn’t see the same thing coming around for the next lap.  Except is wasn’t an old man without pants–it appeared to be a young man in a peach Speedo skulking around the back of the house like Gollum.  By the time I rounded the corner and peeked down the driveway, (“it’s hideous, yet I can’t look away) he had moved parallel with me, to behind the car. The mouth-breathing and foot-dragging had alerted the torso-clad biped to my presence and, in considering FIGHT or FLIGHT, I chose the latter sped off at a blistering 9 min/mile pace to safety of the Pack.  A close encounter, indeed.
  • Old Horsey MCUniBrow had originally planned for this to be a once-a-month endeavor but I think it needs to be every week.  Once a month is good for bench marking current hill training but if it’s used as the training tool, it needs to be every week.  Either way, it will have rotating Qs and will be largely tweet and meet.  Not sure if there will be another running next week (Memorial Day) and, if so, who will Q.  So put something out there if you’ve got an itch for hills, or to get a glimpse of the Speedo Guy.  Keep an eye on Twitter and the website.

 

Saddle Up

Charlotte Running Co calls it Mount Charlotte (Charlotte could not be reached for comment) and, as the legend goes, uses it to train for BRR hills.

The A51 brain trust mocked their simple names, yet couldn’t come up with one of its own: Puke’s Peak, Hillbilly, an obligatory Zombie reference, Bug Light (a nod to the green LED flag pole at the top of Blue Ridge)–but no name could be decided.  There were, however, plenty of names to be had for the unibrowed snot-licker that suggested the stupid route in the first place, so the workout is named in his honor:  Saddle up for Horsey McHorseArse.

WHEN:  Mondays–0515 – 0615. Rotating Qs.

WHERE:  Old Bell Road and Sardis (Greenway Parking Lot)

WHAT:  Strava segment (more or less) is here:  https://www.strava.com/segments/6431126.  More info to be given on site.

WHAT ELSE:  Headlamps and blinkies.  It’s a dark place–physically, emotionally, spiritually.

NOTE:  No overpriced quiche or designer monkey bread awaits you when it’s done. When you mount up on McHorseArse, you get double baked; not the croissants.

Giddy up.

Sausage Saturday

It began with a be-Yoda’d Runstopper in a GR2 and ended with goat selfies. And fifteen men and 4 men-to-be found themselves in the middle.

A notional warm up followed an implied disclaimer and we got to work on stations.

STATION 1;  Chest to chest partner carry with Body Bag.

STATION 2:  Sled bear crawl

STATION 3:  Prowler

STATION 4:  KB Farmer carry

  • Three/Four man teams rotate through stations.
  • Keep busy with KB, Blocks and other stuff while waiting for equipment
  • Run a mile
  • Another rotation
  • Run another mile

COT

MOLESKINE

  • Outland is not as far out as they lead you to believe. You make that drive on a weeknight and it’s 45 minutes.  On a Saturday morning, though, it’s only about 15ish.  And this is how we came to fine 3 grown men sitting in the parking lot at 6:35.
  • You get from a station workout what you put in, especially when waiting for the equipment. If I don’t get a gnarly pump from a station workout, that’s usually on me.
  • The out and back miles were painful.  I mistimed the rotations so we were shortchanged the remaining planned mile.
  • Strong work by EE, Glass Joe and Kiefer.  They logged 5 before the workout and a couple of more frisky miles during.
  • T-Claps to the recent FNG Kiefer (4th workout), who has signed up for a marathon this summer and is off to a strong start on the training.
  • Nice to have Good Luck join us from Asheville. He was especially strong on the Prowler, despite the leggings.
  • Speaking of, to no one’s surprise, except maybe Selfie the Goat, Runstopper wore bright yellow tights (with shorts, thankfully).
  • Though he looks much stronger than he actually is (his words), he flexed his iron colon and downed not one but two Egg White Delights at McDougals.
  • After the Egg White Delights, conversation naturally, if not inevitably, drifted to the Squatty Potty.  Treat yourself to the Amazon comments.
  • I can’t say if it was the spray-painted SATURDAY SAUSAGE sign that compelled me to turn around or the goat chained to a pole.  Either way, it was the perfect end to a great morning. Stay tuned for Hops’ review of the sausage….

Thanks for the invite to Outland.

Run DMZ

“Who’s [sic] house?”  Not Run’s; Bushwood’s, to see if he planned to show up (Wake Up: ticky, tocky, ticky tocky).  But 7 others posted for a workout that was tougher than leather.  Hard Times, indeed.

WARM UP: Run a half mile toward The Ave., then run a half mile back to the start.

WARM UP Complete.  Here We Go

THANG

  • 2 rounds each — P1: Hairburner x 50 yards; Partner 2: Merkins
  • 1 hot lap around the church (a little over 1/3 mile but not quite Two Fifths)
  • 3 rounds each — P1: Hairburner x 50 yards; Partner 2: Squats (Slow and Low)
  • 2 hot laps around church (2/3 mile)
  • 4 rounds each —  P1: Hairburner x 50 yards; Partner 2: Core, pax choice
  • 3 hot laps around church (1 mile)

Pause, regroup for the six.  Mosey home.

COT

MOLESKINE

  • Almost four miles and a heaping plate of hairburners: Perfection.
  • Good to see the smaller numbers. With more than 16 at hairburners, it’s tricky to keep everyone busy (not to mention rock a rhyme).
  • Thanks to #LIDZ for handing off the Q (and stalking me on Strava). The mere possibility of strength training drove him to stay out late AND volunteer for 6 AM “jury duty.”
  • Cobains for the tardy BB.  Sometimes It’s like that.

 

“Cause Calvin Klein’s no friend of mine
Don’t want nobody’s name on my behind
Lee on my legs, sneakers on my feet
D by my side and Jay with the beat”  

Rock Box

 

Lungs and Guns

Twenty two came: pale, effete, and logy. Twenty two broke COT: radiant, swole, and full of pep.

Mosey to the north entrance and pair up. Partner one circles the church, partner two on double bells.

  • Double dead stop swings, 2 laps each;
  • Double dead stop snatches, 2 laps each;
  • Double clean to squat, 2 laps each;
  • Double clean to alternating press, 2 laps each;
  • Louganis, 2 laps each.

Mosey back home.

COT

MOLESKINE

  • Stone Cold is DR. If you were surprised to see me on Q this morning, get a twitter.  Even if you don’t get a twitter, you can follow here: https://twitter.com/F3Area51
  • If you ever tweet a pre-run and just Fletch shows up, it’s going to hurt.
  • Enough running to annoy the meatheads and double bells to annoy ectomorphs:  a workout everyone can dislike.
  • Runstopper claims to have kept dinging the undercarriage but was killing the runs.  #Lowrider
  • Bananas was in search of a bumper to soil, yet none was to be found.  Still strong on the double fiddies, though.
  • Old Man Busch was both dour and sluggish after his team got scored on yesterday. Feeling bad for the Kumon-Home School Co-op next up on their schedule. Vengeance of the Jeep Coaches will not be pretty.
  • Bulldog just flat laid down in the bushes for the Louganises, disregarding both shame and pride.
  • Fireman Ed with the September Swagger (not to be confused with his lunge walk). J-E-T-S are at 2-0 and he’s talking trash while he can.
  • The only thing Brown hearts more than Logistics is his bed.  Probably up too late putting his Turkey Bowl team together.
  • Pro-Tip: If you bump into the Pontifex while out and about, don’t call him Francis or touch his stuff. It will not end well for you.

The Backblast of Who Could Care Less

Thirteen Pax found sweet succor in the bosom of 0.0.  Some came to avoid the hills.  Some came to get YUGE.  None came to run.  The step counter didn’t get much work today but the heart rate monitor did.

WARM UP:  1H Alternating Swings, Good Mornings, Prying Squats, Halos.

THANG: Partner up by bell size for doubles pyramids.

  • Double swings. x 3-6-9-12-9-6-3.
  • Dead Stop Swings 3×5
  • Double snatches x 3-6-9-6-3
  • Dead Stop Snatches 3×3
  • Double Cleans x 3-6-9-12-9-6-3
  • Sprinter Stance (single) swings 3×10 (5 ea leg)

Eternal Flame, KB Edition:  Attempt to outlast the Bangles with an alternating press wave.

Pax 1: One bell in rack, press bell overhead and hold. Pax 2-13 does same.  When it gets back to Pax 1 the first bell drops to rack, press the other bell overhead.  I think we made it through 3 or 4 presses ea side before we threw in the towel.  We finished out with 2H swings.

COT

ABBREVIATED MOLESKINE

  • Doubles are tough.  Several first timers on the doubles. Not so bad once you get comfortable with that much weight that close to your kneecaps.
  • Dead stops are tough.  Form enforcers and quad burners.  That is the proper way to initiate and park the bell, by the way.  Every time.
  • Sprinter swings are tough.  Balance is key here.
  • The Press Wave is tough.  Thought we’d get a little further than we did….will need to run that back soon.

Grippy

When Stone Cold asks you to co-Q what he really means is, “I don’t want to write a backblast on a Saturday.”  And so he isn’t. And I am.  The nine of us paired up in threes for stations:

  • STATION 1:  Prowler (timer) / Body Bag / Farmer walk 48+32 (from the tips) or 32+28 (ladies tees)
  • STATION 2: Box jump / voo doo push ups / dumb bell press
  • STATION 3: Fire hose drag / Extinguisher squats or presses / med ball merkins

Three rotations through to get everyone a turn on the Prowler, then run a mile. Repeat x2 until Angry Mary by Runstopper.

COT

MOLESKINE

  • The lack of low bar Prowler movement had some blaming their treadless shoes, rather than where blame really lay (lie, lain, lye): their muscle-less arse.
  • Gummy Got Back, though. He didn’t carry the Prowler, but he pushed it like a hoss.  The only low bar for the out AND the back.  Lots of courtesy turns for the rest of the Pax.
  • Hopper came in looking like a castaway.  Was stuck on a raft for three weeks drifting from Cape Cod to Hilton Head.
  • Kotters to Backdraft and the thousand pounds of retired fire gear in the back of his truck.  If you need hoses or old fire extinguishers, he’s your man.
  • Good to see Deep Dish; then almost immediately forget he was ever there. Saw him later in the day and asked where he was this morning.  Sorry, dude.
  • Need to dial up the LBs for Abba the next time. Too easy.
  • Flutie Flakes most likely put in an exceptional effort, but it went entirely unnoticed and I’ll just go ahead and admit that right here.
  • He’s Runstopper on Saturdays and StopRunner on Sundays (#Galloway).
  • Stone Cold celebrated the first day of his 44th year by debuting some kind of seat condom that he was WAY too excited about.  “It’s grippy on the bottom and don’t slide or nuttin’.”  Kind of like the Prowler.

 

 

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