…don’t Q it. AYE. YHC should have taken that advice into account when we set off into the soupy Gloom this morning.
The Thang
Mosey up to the top of the entrance to the school for a warmarama interspersed with ascending Burpees up to 5
Head down Deal Road to Wedgewood and then follow Wedgewood to the bottom of the big hill
McGee Smokemeter = 2/10
Run back up the hill (approx 0.15 miles), do 6 Burpees
Run down the hill, do 6 Tarantulas (leaping lunges + jump squat = 1)
Repeat ascending until 10 Burpees / 10 Tarantulas
Return for the 6
McGee Smokemeter = 7/10
Continue down Wedgewood to the end (approx 0.4 miles)
6 minutes of McGee Mary (no touching the ground with your feet)
McGee Smokemeter = 4/10
Run back to the previous hill circuit (0.4 miles) and pause for 6
McGee Smokemeter = 8/10
Run up the hill and do 11 Burpees
McGee Smokemeter = 10/10
Run back up the rest of the hill to Deal Road
McGee Smokemeter = 11/10
Run down Deal Road
McGee Smokemeter = 12/10
Stop at the entrance of the school to do some Mary so McGee doesn’t die
But hey, why not? Let’s do 12 Burpees
McGee Smokemeter = 13/10
Run back down to the parking lot for the final 3 minutes
McGee Smokemeter = 150/10
It was at this point that Posse wondered whether or not he’d have to step in for a fatigue-induced Q-jack but, fortunately, I managed to stay upright while we did some squats and Baryshnikovs and more squats and maybe something else, I don’t know. All I wanted was for my watch to say 7:30 and it finally, mercifully did.
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
Thanks to Posse for inviting me to Q. Not sure it was a great idea on his part but we all survived – mostly.
#horseneck OUT
AYE. 8, err, 9? 7 maybe. There were some counting problems (most likely due to O2 deprivation), so let’s just go with 7 and start again from the top.
AYE. 7 men gathered in the cool, crisp Gloom for the weekly Matrix Red Pill. YHC recalls the days when Matrix would have 20+ Pax but in times like these, we’ll take anything more than 3, and more than 3 we got. Here’s what we did:
THE THANG
Mosey to lower parking lot
Begin to do warmup with SSH and Low Slow Squat but then we smelled a skunk
Or, perhaps, a 52 year old fart from O Tannenbaum. It’s not entirely clear.
Either way, we had to get out of there before someone got hurt.
Mosey back up to the launchpoint
Station 1
8 x Pullups
8 x Exploding Merkins
8 x Lunge+Jumpsquat
Repeat at 10 and 12 counts
Run to entrance of the school
8 x Burpees
8 x Heels to Heaven (head cadence)
8 x Peter Parkers (head cadence)
Repeat at 10 and 12 counts
Repeat 3x
Close out with 10 burpees to get to an even 100
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
Strong crowd today but, unfortunately, constant counting kept the mumblechatter at a minimum. That was an feature, not a bug, because YHC knows well that where mumblechatter is present, YHC is more often than not the target. Actually, YHC is more often than not the instigator, but either way, mumblechatter is antithetical to #smokefest workouts.
YHC was pleased to see some long-lost faces at The Matrix, most notably Gypsy, Christmas and Madison. YHC was also pleased to see O Tannenbaum posting a sub-5:30 – and no, I’m not talking about his mile times.
Thanks to our perennially-injured nantan of The Matrix, PopTart #tart, for asking me to Q – once on Slack, once over email, twice over text, three times over phone calls and, finally, with a handwritten letter.
McGee OUT
AYE. For those of us who didn’t waste away our bodies, minds, souls and spirits on the BRR this weekend, we gathered on a fine and crisp Monday morning for the weekly Matrix beatdown. Here’s more or less what transpired.
THE THANG
Mosey down to the lower parting lot for a warmup
Imperial Walker x 20, SSH x 25, Plank while receiving instructions
Home base is the island on the side of the parking lot nearest the entrance
Perform exercise to specified count, run a lap around the parking lot
Repeat 5x for each exercise, then move on
10 Burpees
10 Pull-ups at the playground (long loop)
20 Exploding Merkins
30 Jump Squats
Yup, that was it. Total counts:
50 Burpees
50 Pull-ups
100 Exploding Merkins
150 Jump Squats
And a whopping 3.9 miles
Workout ended with just 2 minutes to spare, so we planked
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
1. Strong crew this morning as everyone (yes, everyone) got in nearly the full set and the gap between leader and 6 was fairly narrow, never more than 2 rounds.
2. Zero chatter this morning. I mean, zero. Like, nada. The 2nd F was nowhere to be found this morning, but the 1st F was in full force.
3. I looked at my heart rate graph and it basically stayed at 165-170 for the entirety of the workout. It was not fun.
4. Da Squids rocked perfect form, as usual.
5. Tulip was flying, as usual.
6. O’Tannenbaum rolled up late, as usual.
7. Way was quite jovial, as usual.
8. Cage challenged my count, which was weird.
9. Other than that, all was right in the world.
10. Except…WHERE WAS POPTART????
#horseneck OUT
AYE. I’ve been wearing my new Apple Watch to a couple of workouts and watching my heart rate. According to some internets site, my maximum heart rate should be 185. Today, the WAMRAP took it everything I had. My watch registered an average heart rate of 177 through the workout and a maximum of 183. I was gassed. Here’s what happened:
THE THANG
Plank for a couple of minutes
Run to the deck and up the stairs
Down and up stairwell 1 then 5 Jump Squats
Down and up stairwell 2 then 5 Exploding Merkins
Down stairwell 3 and up the ramps back to the top
1 Burp at the bottom of each ramp
5 core exercise of your choice at the top of the ramp
Multiply reps by the round count
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
1. Alf absolutely crushed it today. He was working on round 6 when I had to call it for some Mary.
2. The legend of Ice 9 grows. Turkey Leg announced that Ice had puked during the workout, but those of us who know Ice also know that he makes lots of noise (LOTS OF NOISE) before anything actually comes out. He slowed down a lot and left early, so I think he wasn’t particularly keen on puking today. Next time.
3. Flipper also crushed it, passing Ice 9 for second place. Is this some weird alternate universe? What is happening!?!?
4. The array of things on the staircases in the parking deck never cease to amaze me. Today’s interesting items: a couple of smushed french fries and one black glove. One. Black. Glove. Hmm.
FIN
AYE. Despite the fact that Flipper had a late night celebrating his wife’s birthday, he posted – but without the weight bags. YHC had to improvise. It hurt. Here’s what happened:
THE THANG
Mosey to the top of the parking deck
Down the stairs – do 20 of a chest exercise of your selection
Up the stairs – do 1 burpee
Down the ramp – do 20 of a leg exercise of your selection
Up the stairs – do 1 burpee
Do 20 of a core exercise of your selection
Repeat with ascending burpees at each round
Close out with about 5 minutes of Mary
Mosey back to the launch
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
1. This one hurt. Some folks got all the way through Round 9 (135 total burpees) while others got through Round 8. OW was hankering for extending time to finish out Round 10, but YHC squelched that idea. I know my limits. Kind of.
2. There was much complaining made by all, but no one could match the vociferousness of Gummy’s dissent. As usual. It’s really a miracle that he comes to WAMRAP at all – especially given that it is only his 3rd favorite Wednesday workout.
3. We all faced death as the construction workers flew up the parking deck and insisted on parking in their normal spots by backing into them. Anyway, we all feared for our lives but I don’t think anyone was run over.
4. Purell made a lot of noise on Slack but then didn’t post. That’s unlike him and we will excuse it…this time.
McGee OUT
AYE. YHC rolled up to the Waverly Viva Chicken expecting to see…well…the normal crew. Alf. Orange Whip. Purell – wait, where’s Purell? Didn’t he HC the night before? More on this in a moment, but off we went to the parking deck for the WAMRAP Pyramid.
THE ROUNDS
1. 20 Jump Squats at the bottom of the ramp, 20 Exploding Merkins at the top, count round with a Burpee
2. 20 Squats / 20 Merkins + Burpee count
3. 20 Sister Mary Catherines / 20 Freddy Mercuries + Burpee count
When we hit 10 rounds and 10 Burpees, start working back down the pyramid
Total Burps – 100
Finish up with some Mary
THE MOLESKIN
1. This one was a smoker. Constant movement. Orange Whip kept talking about how much fun he was having and how this was exactly what he needed, so, you know, he’s crazy.
2. We finished up the pyramid faster than anticipated and had time left for Mary. I guess we could have kept going but…nah.
3. As we rolled back to the launchpad, we saw Purell running sprints in the parking lot. Apparently he ran up and around the deck but not on the ramps, which is where we were the whole time. Sorry dude. We waited for you until 5:33.
Come check out WAMRAP next week. WAMRAP deserves to live, damn it. The guys in Weddington ripped off the idea (no hate, just saying) and had 12 dudes show up when we had 3 that same week. What do I need to do to convince you that a) you will not die, b) you will be guaranteed to get a great workout and c) I will not annoy you with my usual constant #mumblechatter because I can’t talk during a WAMRAP workout.
That’s my rant. See you next week.
AYE. I had to be at a breakfast uptown at 7AM so decided to rework the WAMRAP to fit my schedule. But there’s more to the story than just that. I’ve speculated for a long time that it’s possible to get fit a 45 minute #beatdown into a 30 minute #smokefest. So, today, Alf and I tried it out. And it hurt.
THE THANG
Run to the first ramp in the parking deck
10 Jump Squats at the bottom
10 Exploding Merkins at the top
Count rounds with +1 Burpee each round
Once we hit 10 Burpees, we went back down the pyramid
On the way down, we did:
10 Monkey Humpers at the bottom
10 Diamonds at the top
Total of 100 Burpees
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
1. We actually moved up to the top of the deck at one point because Alf thought the air would be a little bit fresher, but that turned out not to be the case, unfortunately
2. Speaking of Alf, the dude just crushed BRR last weekend and was dragging me around today. I was ready to quit and start making excuses at 7 Burpees on the downside of the pyramid, but Alf wanted to keep pushing all the way through. I thought I was going to die but we did finish the pyramid with 2 minutes to spare.
See? Y’all missed a good time. See you next week at WAMRAP (COME ON)
AYE. As I ran up Ardrey Kell with Waverly in sight, deep in the pre-dawn Gloom, I was thinking about how much it would suck to be the only person at WAMRAP again. I didn’t mind it once. It was kind of annoying the second time. And the third time would probably cause me to throw in the towel. But, fortunately, that was not to be. As I was holding the plank position at exactly 5:30, Joker rolled up and just about ran over me. A few seconds later, Marlin pulled in. We had a quorum.
THE THANG
I’ve been asked many times about what WAMRAP is and how it works, so I’m going to take this opportunity to explain it – because it is ridiculously simple. 5 minutes of warm up. 5 minutes to commute and explain the workout. 30 minutes of As Many Rounds as Possible (AMRAP) on a specified circuit. 5 minutes to commute back to the launch site and cool down. That’s it, fellas. The Wednesday AMRAP = WAMRAP. Here’s what we did last Wednesday:
Warm up : 5 minutes of Plank
Commute : To the little traffic circle just south of the apartment complex
AMRAP : Run to the end of each road and back to the circle. +1 burpee each time you touch the circle. 25 Exploding Merkins at the end of road 1, 25 Jump Squats at the end of road 2, 25 Heels to Heaven at the end of road 3, 25 Freddie Mercurites at the end of road 4. All completed 3 full cycles = 78 total Burpees and 75 of each exercise
Cool down : Head back to launch, knock out the last 22 Burpees and Plank until the clock runs out.
WHY AMRAP
When I first started posting at F3 back in 2011, most workouts were predominately circuit-driven, AMRAP workouts. Why? Because AMRAP has two extremely attractive advantages that align with the F3 mantra. First, they are you-against-you. Second, they leave no man behind. The fittest guys in F3 Nation can smoke their own asses at an AMRAP workout right next to an FNG who hasn’t exercised in 5 years. We all give 30 strong minutes of everything we can give. Fit guys do 5 circuits and the FNG does 3. But all are #smoked and all end at 6:10AM.
That’s all I got. I hope this clears up what WAMRAP is and why you should post. I’m not trying to take away anything from the other Wednesday workouts, particularly the one where I used to be a Site Q, but there needs to be an AMRAP option at least once a week for the A Listers and the Clydesdales alike. Hence, the WAMRAP.
See you in the Gloom.
AYE. Twelve (soon to be 11) posted at The Matrix for what turned out to be a for real #oldschool beatdown. YHC never quite knows how the workout will unfold until arrival, but upon seeing the PAX eager for AMRAP, I changed plans. Here’s more or less what transpired:
THE THANG
Mosey to lower parking lot
Warmup – Imperial Walkers, Plank-o-rama
Gather at end of parking lot behind the East island
Simple instructions – do the specified exercise at East island, do 1 more burpee at West island, lap back for the next exercise. Rounds were:
25 x Merkins
25 x Jump Squats
25 x Heels-to-Heaven
25 x Diamonds
25 x Monkey Humpers
25 x Freddie Mercury
25 x Widearms
25 x Romanian Deadlifts
25 x WWII Situps
10 x Pull ups
25 x Sumo squats
25 x Little Baby Twist
25 x Exploding Merkins
25 x Sister Mary Catherines
25 x Dolly
Totals – 120 burpees, 360 reps, 2+ miles
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
1. We had lots of strange behavior from the PAX today. First, PopTart emailed me last night at 9:45 to let me know that he would not be attending the workout because he was “celebrating” his anniversary. Dudebro, I do not want to receive any emails from you on your anniversary night. Just FYI. Second, OT showed up 5 minutes late because he claimed that he couldn’t decide whether or not he should wear a shirt. OT, always wear a shirt. Otherwise, you will leave puddles of sweat everywhere and someone will slip and get hurt. Third, Madison disappeared somewhere between rounds 3 and 4 without saying anything. He just disappeared into the Gloom. It’s a mystery. Sound off below so that we know you’re ok and to explain thyself.
2. For those of us who were actually at the workout and on time, it was a #smokefest. No Regerts was at the front of the pack for a while but got overtaken eventually by Gypsy. Christmas was only fast on the last sprint, after which he admitted to #sandbagging. At least he’s honest.
3. Much complaining about the burpees, but, personally, I think that’s the easiest way to knock out 120 burpees. I know, I know – I said 110 at the workout but realized later that I’d missed the mark by 10. Even with the 20 burpee margin of error over the required 100 at a McGee Q (that’s a legend and is not actually true), it’s doubtful that Prohibition got over 70.
4. No Regerts announced that his wife just opened a new bakery next to his tattoo shop in Matthews called Baked Well. This announcement explained why his name is No Regerts (get it? Tats you regret?) and also reminded me of some of my friends in high school, who were pretty always on a quest to be well baked. Anyway, I don’t think you can get well baked on the baked goods at Baked Well, but it’s worth a shot. Apparently the chocolate chip scones are incredible.
#horseneck OUT
AYE. Much fun was made of YHC for posting solo to the soft (super soft) launch of WAMRAP last week, but I smoked myself with 30 minutes of solid AMRAP work on the deck. This week, two more emerged from the steamy, rainy, generally uncomfortable Gloom to join me for WAMRAP, which amounts to a 3x increase in PAX. Using my mathematical prowess to extrapolate our growth curve, I expect 9 souls next week. The week after, it’s reasonable to assume that we’ll have 27. For the official WAMRAP launch in three weeks, we’ll have 81. From there, 243. And, finally, by about the time the weather cools down and we’re all back in gloves, a modest 43,046,721 people will be posting at WAMRAP. I’ll be disappointed by anything less. The parking could get a little tight, but the camaraderie with 43 million PAX will be well worth it. After that, we might want to split the workout, but we’ll handle that when we get there. But today, with just 3, here’s what transpired:
THE THANG
4 minutes of Plank
Mosey to parking deck
AMRAP
Ramp 1 – 20 Jump Squats at the bottom, 20 Exploding Merkins at the top
Ramp 2 – 20 Freddie Mercuries, 20 Heels to Heaven
Ramp 3 – 20 Monkey Humpers, 10 Burpees
Close out with mosey back to parking lot for a tiny bit of Mary
YE OLDE MOLESKINE
With that, see you next week at F3’s fastest growing workout!