- QIC: wingman
- Pax: 11, Fire_Hazard, Franky, Frasier, Gumbo, Hippie, Kirby, Madison, One Niner, soft_pretzel, Sweetwater, the-brave
DECK the halls or jingle bell ROCK?
Date: 2025-12-19 AO: the-brave Q: midriff PAX: SweetWater, Hippie, Franky, frasier, gumbo, fire_hazard, kirby, madison, soft_pretzel, One Niner, 11 FNGs: None COUNT: 12 Hippie and fire_hazard tipped the scales to DECK, so YHC delivered — just not in the way Pax anticipated, requested, or legally approved (I definitely did not provide a disclaimer).
Mosey to Deck #1 for warmup as Hippie slides in at 0532, barely missing kirby and Franky at 0531 (timing matters, gentlemen). We hit the first ramp, then detour toward the Bowl, stopping at each deck for festive misery: merkins, sit-ups, SSHs, derkins. Christmas cheer was high. Morale was… adjustable.
Then off to the Carolina Thread Trail, because nothing says “smart decision” like post-storm, pre-sunrise, dimly lit greenways. Navigate the robust aroma of public infrastructure under the bridge before arriving at the rock pile for curls, presses, tricep extensions, and manmakers with rocks that definitely exceeds F3 recommended carry-on limits.
Enter stage left: a fluorescently clad walker delivering the prophecy — downed trees ahead. Not today. We are able-bodied men, on the clock, with a 60-minute window and absolutely no contingency plan. The only way is through. We clear the first branches with ease — which turns out to be a trap — before encountering two full-grown fallen trees blocking the path. fire_hazard is soon straddling a log while Pax coordinate lifts. YHC nearly takes out SweetWater after applying force in the wrong direction (physics is eternally undefeated). After five minutes, several near-deaths, and one moment that would’ve ended the workout permanently, the trail is cleared — for the good people of South Charlotte.One Niner casually noted it was “the perfect five-minute recovery” before proceeded on our 5-mile route. We press on. Run up the hill behind Pike’s Nursery, stopping for BB SUs. Franky pauses to compliment Hippie’s flawless form… then immediately blows off the exercise and keeps moving toward Community House like a seasoned professional. Make our way to Deck #5 for more SSHs, sprint the hotel hill, and are once again reminded that SweetWater may be 54, but Father Time has yet to catch him. Deck #6 delivers 20 more merkins as Pax scatter — or as frasier perfectly summarized, “bodies were falling everywhere.” SweetWater nearly flipped off an antsy Karen upset that crosswalk rules briefly applied to her schedule. Finish with BB SUs for the 6, then final run home. Final Scoreboard: :christmas_tree: 6 decks :runner: 5+ miles (4-mile minimum = optional pain ceiling) :deciduous_tree: Multiple trees removed :athletic_shoe: Shoes ruined :trophy: Unofficial Trail Maintenance Merit Badge earned
Closed it out with this reminder: Everyone sees the fallen tree. Few call others to action. Even fewer grab it, lift it, and move it. Be the brother, son, father, and friend who attacks problems head-on — and knows when to ask another brother to help carry the load. Merry Christmas you filthy animals
Mosey to Deck #1 for warmup as Hippie slides in at 0532, barely missing kirby and Franky at 0531 (timing matters, gentlemen). We hit the first ramp, then detour toward the Bowl, stopping at each deck for festive misery: merkins, sit-ups, SSHs, derkins. Christmas cheer was high. Morale was… adjustable.
Then off to the Carolina Thread Trail, because nothing says “smart decision” like post-storm, pre-sunrise, dimly lit greenways. Navigate the robust aroma of public infrastructure under the bridge before arriving at the rock pile for curls, presses, tricep extensions, and manmakers with rocks that definitely exceeds F3 recommended carry-on limits.
Enter stage left: a fluorescently clad walker delivering the prophecy — downed trees ahead. Not today. We are able-bodied men, on the clock, with a 60-minute window and absolutely no contingency plan. The only way is through. We clear the first branches with ease — which turns out to be a trap — before encountering two full-grown fallen trees blocking the path. fire_hazard is soon straddling a log while Pax coordinate lifts. YHC nearly takes out SweetWater after applying force in the wrong direction (physics is eternally undefeated). After five minutes, several near-deaths, and one moment that would’ve ended the workout permanently, the trail is cleared — for the good people of South Charlotte.One Niner casually noted it was “the perfect five-minute recovery” before proceeded on our 5-mile route. We press on. Run up the hill behind Pike’s Nursery, stopping for BB SUs. Franky pauses to compliment Hippie’s flawless form… then immediately blows off the exercise and keeps moving toward Community House like a seasoned professional. Make our way to Deck #5 for more SSHs, sprint the hotel hill, and are once again reminded that SweetWater may be 54, but Father Time has yet to catch him. Deck #6 delivers 20 more merkins as Pax scatter — or as frasier perfectly summarized, “bodies were falling everywhere.” SweetWater nearly flipped off an antsy Karen upset that crosswalk rules briefly applied to her schedule. Finish with BB SUs for the 6, then final run home. Final Scoreboard: :christmas_tree: 6 decks :runner: 5+ miles (4-mile minimum = optional pain ceiling) :deciduous_tree: Multiple trees removed :athletic_shoe: Shoes ruined :trophy: Unofficial Trail Maintenance Merit Badge earned
Closed it out with this reminder: Everyone sees the fallen tree. Few call others to action. Even fewer grab it, lift it, and move it. Be the brother, son, father, and friend who attacks problems head-on — and knows when to ask another brother to help carry the load. Merry Christmas you filthy animals
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