How to avoid being stabbed by a ceramic squirrel

  • When:10/23/20
  • QIC: Horsehead

How to avoid being stabbed by a ceramic squirrel

Whip, Christmas, Manziel, Baron, BLC, Chubbs, Spyglass, HH

8 Pax, filled with wanderlust and desire and one filled with last night’s burrito bowl.



Warmup in the darkest spot on campus, over near the graveyard.

The preblast noted a South Carolina man who was stabbed with a ceramic squirrel by his significant other, after a beerless return from a requested errand. How do we avoid this situation?  Do exactly what you are told.  Thus, the theme of this workout was me doing exactly what the pax told to me to.  Don’t tell anyone that they ended up doing what I had planned all along while thinking it was their idea, that’s the beauty of how these things go down.

Pax choice: starfish on the wet (but oh so soft) lacrosse field, or in front of the church on the dry, unforgiving pavement.  We went pavement for a few rounds.

  • L1: 15 merkins
  • L2: 15 jumping squats
  • L3: 15 bicycles
  • L4:  15 pax choice, which was monkey humpers of all things

During R3 of this, Chubbs went pale and bolted to the portajohn.  So, we did what any good group would do and moseyed on over for some encouragement.  He was shining some sort of light inside, which counteracts my general portajohn philosophy of dark blissful ignorance, but to each man his own.

Mosey to tennis hut and partner up for a couple rounds of one guy runs while one guy exercises.

  • P1: run to the dark place where we warmed up
  • P2: alternate between two pax chosen exercises.  I think we did diamonds/RDLs and then something/drydocks

Back to launch with one round of 10/20/30 plus a run to the spirit rock to kill off a few mins.





I’ve been laying a bit low on the backblasts lately, largely due to the fact that many of the things going on in the world today have me at risk of spouting off my mouth (or keyboard) and digging myself into trouble.  However, a few things have me feeling a little better these days, so I figured I’d get this one out there.  Here are some things I’ve tried recently that you may want to consider:

  • Auto-deleted any email with the salutation “Team”
  • Blocked any calls originating from those not in my contacts
  • Deleted all of my phone contacts
  • Deleted Twitter (for real)
  • Continued Facebook abstinence
  • No Fox News or CNN – all news originates from Tiger Rag YouTube videos and a guy named Donnie who lives at the Circle K

A few observations from the workout:

  • BLC continues his aggressive Diamond Dave – Judy Choppin warmup.
  • Orange Whip is leading some sort of soccer vs. frisbee rebellion, where they compete for the most injuries.  Baracus has been relocated to the Soccer team under the witness protection program, since no catching is involved.  It’s basically the same plot as “My Blue Heaven” with Steve Martin and Rick Moranis, so give that a watch this weekend.
  • Red Baron continues to post.  Pretty soon he’ll graduate to Tombstone, and maybe Digorno or Freschetta sometime next year.
  • Chubbs is only 23.  I’m pretty sure I have socks older than that.  Speaking of socks, did he emerge uni-socked from the Blue Tardis of backsplash?  Hmmm.







Quote for the weekend:

“There’s a big difference between the words, ‘naked’ and ‘nekkid.’ ‘Naked’ means you don’t have any clothes on. ‘Nekkid’ means you don’t have any clothes on … and you’re up to something.”  – Lewis Grizzard



your friend,




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