Unclean Animals

Unclean Animals

3 Men showed up for a somewhat non-conventional 6:15 pre workout KB session w/ music.   I brought out an assortment of various KBs that I have collected over the past 6 months, and Double E brought a few as well (including a 50 with double sized handle).  


Standard workout commenced at 7AM  – Horsehead on Q

COP Warmup

  • SSH, IW, Mountain Climbers . . . standard fare
  • 10 burpees OYO

Mosey to practice field for Ark Loader – 50 yards across field with sprint back

  • Bear Crawl
  • Crab Walk
  • Frog Hop (2.0 suggestion)
  • Backwards Bear Crawl
  • Backwards Crab Walk (which is really forward #mindblown)
  • Backwards Run
  • Regular, Boring Run
  • Wounded Bear Left Leg / Right Leg switch
  • Karaoke Right
  • Karaoke Left
  • Bearaoke – sideways Bear Crawl – switch sides midway
  • Plank circle – 3 merkins – then bear crawl around one position and repeat  until full circle is completed
  • Plank circle – 5 LBCs – then crab walk around one position and repeat until full circle is completed

Indian Run to Behind School – Double E has Q

Animal Circus of pain including 12 stations:

Station 1 (jungleburners) was the pace setter – switch when completed

  • Hairburners with Snow Saucer (jungleburners)
  • Mountain Climbers
  • Merkins till you drop
  • KB swings
  • Jump Rope – speed jump
  • Squats with full bundle of shingles on your back (found in garage)
  • Mike Tyson’s punch out w/ small dumbbells
  • Long sprint around all Buses -cheese stringer
  • KB Overhead presses
  • Flutter press with large rock
  • Pipe Jumps
  • Burpee Delight

Finished with mosey back to hill for jailbreak and Mary.


I’ll start this off by saying that I was absolutely smoked after yesterday at Kevlar.  After realizing that the Muscle Driver factory store is only a few miles from my office and being subsequently convinced to purchase a Kettlebell that is almost 1/3 my body weight (great sale going on now, I might add), I spent a lot of time on Friday testing it out.  Also did a bunch of pullups – which always make me hurt.

The warmup hurt me.  Even the SSH part hurt.  I barely made it through 10 Burpees OYO and then we hit the Ark Loader.  That was stupid hard and definitely not in my wheelhouse.  Double E and Countertop (almost) led the way, but my 2.0 Boondock smoked and taunted us as any good 8 year old boy should.  He began to suggest some very strange animal modes of transportation for us to try, but we only gave him the frog jumps (which were terrible).  After about 20 mins of Ark Loader, I was about to fall apart.

During the circle bear/crab event – it became apparent that most of us smelled very awful.  Reverse planking in a close circle with BO floating around is bad news, so we moved out of that thing as fast as possible.  Lots of unclean animals in this ark.

Double E put a lot of thought into the Pain Circus and had some interesting exercises to choose from.  When I say choose, I mean that since there were more exercises than PAX some patterns began to develop.  When I say patterns, I mean that the Burpee Delight station was basically non-existent and I don’t think many people did the flutter press with the gigantic rock either.  Admittedly, I had no servings of Burpee Delight (learned a lesson from Edmund) and remain unrepentant.

The jungle burners were absolutely awful.  The grass was tall and wet and the sled kept getting stuck.  Lot of knee crawling and pushing with awful facial expressions and sounds.  Making that the pace setter was cruel, but kept everyone honest.  Great effort by the PAX to keep this rolling for a few rounds.

Mud Run next week!  Thanks to the big guy Schnitzel for filling in the emergency slot our our team.


– Horsehead

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Hair Band
10 years ago

Sounds like I missed a fun morning, NOT! Had an early soccer game I needed to be at. Sorry I missed the painfest.

Are we converging next week or do we still need a Q? I will check the soccer schedule and if it is a late game I can help Q if needed. I will send an email to follow up.

High Tide
10 years ago

Funny read; probably not so funny workout. Esp liked the shingle squats!

Double E
10 years ago

Funny how an ark loader will bring out strange and unusual animal sounds when severely O2 deprived, and the way a reverse crab walk turned into a 50 yard butt scoot. Good to see Boon Dock (2.0) back in action after healing a broken arm from falling out of a tree. I guess that is not a good place to teach your kid how to rake leaves …. Horse??? And I must admit it is very gratifying finishing a workout like this, completely exhausted and having another PAX say “I think that was the toughest f3 workout I’ve experienced. Solid work Gents” #F3STRONG. Great work by all today and I am looking forward to meeting / seeing many of you Saturday in the MUD!!

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