Author Archive McGee

Just A Loop

AYE. Today is a tale of two groups. The first are the 14 pax of Rock Zero. The second are the 2 pax of Area 51 who traversed over to Calvary because, I don’t know, I guess working out with just 2 people is awkward? Anyway, this backblast has to cover both groups, so here’s more or less what transpired:

Group 1
Mosey to far side of the parking lot
SSH, Imperial Walkers, LS Merkins, LS Squats
Run to far entrance
Lunge walk the length of the island
Run to light at 51 and Elm
Runstopper & Co. talked smack about YHC’s shorts
10 “Boardshort” Burpees in retaliation
Rally up at Elm and Woodleigh Oaks

Group 2
OT and Beaver arrive at Area 51 to find that all others have been abducted by aliens
OT – Well Beavs, should we stare deeply into each other’s eyes while we do partner squats or head to Rock Zero?
Beavs – I’d prefer the partner squats but we can go to Rock Zero if you want
OT – It’s a short drive. Only 15 minutes. I only like to work out for 45 minutes anyway.
Beavs – Ditto.
OT, already sweating profusely simply from moving his jaw muscles, leads the way to Rock Zero
But upon arriving, they find that group 1 has departed

Group 1
Run the Woodleigh Oaks loop with 10 Burpees at each intersection – 80 Burpees total
Mary at the Clubhouse
Woodleigh Oaks with 10 deconstructed Burpees at each intersection – 10 Merkins, 10 Jump Squats, 10 Heels-to-Heaven
Mary and Plank-o-rama at the Clubhouse
Woodleigh Oaks loop with no exercises

Group 2
OT and Beavs mosey around the church to confirm that, in fact, they are alone
21 minutes of Mary
18 minutes of 10 counts
1 minute of “sprints” at the basketball court

Group 1
Head back up to Elm and 51 – 5 Burpees at the intersection
Run back to Calvary – 5 burpees at the church when joined by Group 2


  1. There was much mumblechatter today. Nothing was sacred. Not even Flipper’s momma. But that’s what makes a great workout.
  2. Everyone put in an extremely solid effort, including the large man with the small dog who steered us in the right direction around the Woodleigh loop. He kept saying something like “perseverance!” and “work hard!” but he refused to join us in our Burpees.
  3. Floor Slapper looked sick for most of the workout.



The InstaWeinke

AYE. 11 strong gathered in the Gloom for what they thought was going to be a Fire Hazard Q, but Mary Kay announced that he’d be doing an emergency substi-Q and would be repeating his last Rebel Yell weinke from a few weeks ago. At that workout, Mary Kay had extended the olive branch of q-ship to YHC for a date in mid-May and so I quickly took the reins. What follows is just a bare semblance of what actually transpired. It was harder and chattier than it reads.


Mosey to the Murderhorn – nah, nevermind.
Take a left onto the sidewalk along Elm
5 Burps at each little baby lightpost thingy
Plank & Merkins (also the name of a hip new brewery in South End) x 10
Circle up outside Jersey Mike’s
SSH x 10
Imperial Walker x 10

Time for the main show
At each speedbump:
Jump Squats x 10
Run over the huge ass hill
Merkins x 10 on the sidewalk

Plank at the end

Mosey to Sally’s Gifts, Lashes and Bongs for:
6 Minutes of Real Ass Mary:
Legs off the ground the whole time (100% compliance, FYI)
Flutta, X Cross, Box Cutter, Heels to Heaven, LBC, LBT, Pistol Crunch, etc
End with 50 cadence Mountain Climbers (50% compliance, FYI)

Mosey to other side of Ballantyne Commons in front of St. Mattholomew’s
Race around the block (0.9 miles)
Fast fools circle back to pick up the smart 6

Mosey back to the speedbumps
Same deal as the last time (over the hills and back) except 10 Burps at the sidewalk
Nevermind – just 5 Burps

Mosey to the front of the theater
Belly up
AYG to the stop sign



  1. Thanks to Mary Kay for willingly passing the gauntlet. YHC did some squats in the gym a couple of days ago and had significant lactic acid buildup that needed to be removed. Hence, the leg-heavy workout.
  2. Let’s talk for a minute about Bucky. We all know that he’s a middle-packer when operating at cruise speed. We also all now know that he’s faster than Usain Bolt when running at full speed and has strides longer than Wisconsin’s football National Championship drought (1948, and that one is “unclaimed” in classic Midwestern humility). Dude. Flies.
  3. Strong efforts from the PAX on the hills, although Billy Goat led a small mutiny (just him) in round 2. All is forgiven, Billy Goat. You’re just living up to your name.

Thanks for letting me lead. Er, thanks for not objecting when I took the lead.


By the Book

AYE. An even 10 showed up for the weekly Rock Zero beatdown – err, I mean, it was a “light” day so it wasn’t actually that much of a beatdown. Just take a look at what happened. You’ll agree.

Mosey from parking lot to the fake grass semi-circle
10 x SSH
5 Burps
10 x Imperial Walker
5 Burps

Run over to the bottom of the hill at Five Knolls
Group 1 runs to the top while Group 2 does Merkins, flapjack
Repeat – but with Mary exercises
Repeat – but with leg exercises

Suicides to fire hydrant and then work back with 4 manhole covers

In other words, we ran this hill a lot of times and it was awful.

Then we ran it all the way to Rea Road on Five Knolls

10 Burpees at the end
10 Burpees at the next street up
10 Burpees at the street after that
10 Burpees at 51
10 Burpees at the island
10 Burpees on the other side of 51
10 Burpees at the entrance to Calvary
10 Burpees at the portico

5 minutes of real, legit, no feet-touching-the-ground Mary

10 Burpees to close it out



  1. There was considerable mockery of my lack of originality about going to Five Knolls but looks, fellas, that hill hurts and you know it. Besides, today was a “light” day and I had to follow all of the rules, which I successfully did.
  2. The best part about the trek to Five Knolls was a little game that I decided to play with Hammer, who works for Arcadia Homes, one of the finer builders in the area. See, WhiteGate, which is the way to get to Five Knolls from Calvary, was once a neighborhood chock full of custom houses. Then Pulte bought up all of the lots and started building houses that look like they belong in Phoenix, but have brick instead of stucco and regular roofs rather than terracotta. It’s weird. So the game was to see if Hammer could correctly identify custom houses versus Pulte houses. As it turns out, everyone in the entire group could spot the difference. I bring this up only because our dear friend Bounce, who used to post at Day Zero, is the local land buyer for Pulte and assured me that no one would be able to tell the difference between a custom house and a Pulte at WhiteGate. Well, Bounce, 10/10 pax on a dark morning could spot the difference. Even Hammer’s 14 year old son Sledge. Just sayin’.
  3. Which brings me to my next point. Sledge is fast. Real fast. Like, Rachel and Purell fast. And he doesn’t really look like he’s trying.
  4. TClaps to all of the Clydesdales who battled the hill. It ain’t easy but y’all crushed it.


Da Lobsta Rolls

This is McGee posting on Lobsta’s behalf.

GO PATS. Yeah, yeah, I know. I missed the last time I was supposed to Q. Whateva. Time to make up for lost time, sort of like what my boy Gronk is going to have to do after he gets back from his suspension. GO PATS

The Thing

Mosey to the parking lot for a warmup
10 x Tom Brady – this is where we all simulate how to properly inflate a football GO PATS
10 x Bill Belichek – this is where we all start in a squat position and then stand up and walk out, kind of like he did at that press conference because he’s a complete and total badass GO PATS
10 x Gronk – this is where we all line up and hit each other completely legally but we take a rest afterwards anyway GO PATS

That’s all you need, fellas. Brady. Belichek. Gronk. Game ova. We just circled up afterwards and complained about the snow. It was a wicked good workout. GO PATS


1. Yo, I got a new twitta handle. Doan get me wrong, I neva go on twitta, but I got a new one anyway – @ghost

2. TClaps to all of the strong dudes out there today. I mean, not PATS strong, but pretty strong anyway.

3. Oh yeah, sorry guys, I forgot all about the Sox. GO SOX

See yous guys in the gloom next week. Nah nah, I’ll be there, wearing my hoodie just like Belichek. GO PATS GO SOX GO CELTS


Slapping the Floor

AYE. The PAX gathered in the gloom and 05:30 came and went without any floors being slapped. We were about to have a Q by democracy and Da Squids was explaining something about 4 stations and then YHC decided it was time to take charge. Not because DS would have done a bad job, but because YHC remembered that I had to pay penance for missing my Kevlar Q last Friday. For good reason, by the way, but still missing it. So here’s what happened next:

Mosey to lower parking lot, run a lap and then COP for SSH x 10 and Imperial Walkers x 10
Enough of that shiz
Mosey to end of parking lot and partner up

Partner 1 runs a lap, Partner 2 does stated exercise
Goal is cumulative total reps per exercise

Round 1 – 200 Merkins
Round 2 – 300 Jump Squats
Round 3 – 400 LBCs
Round 4 – 500 Mountain Climbers
Round 5 – 400 Sister Mary Catherines
Round 6 – 300 Flutter Kicks
Round 7 – 200 Jump Squats wait, nevermind, 100 Burpees

Finish out with a little bit of Mary – Heels to Heaven, High Slow Flutter, Jackknife
AYG to the finish line


  1. Floor Slapper missed a good one.
  2. Some serious speed this morning out there in both waves. Smokey was a consistent top finisher in Wave 1, Laronda crushed Wave 2.
  3. I have no idea where No Regerts’ name came from but it’s awesome.
  4. It was cold out there. I guess that scared away the PAX without the fortitude to handle the cold. I mean, it was so cold that O’Tennenbaum only sweated through one of his two shirts.
  5. When are we going to have the pleasure of seeing both Squid and Squid Twin at the same workout?

That’s it. Something about a Christmas party and a 5k as well. #horseneck OUT

In Honor of 2.1

AYE. Just 9 gathered in the not-so-gloomy-actually-kind-of-nice Gloom for the weekly Anvil beatdown. YHC was figuring that this post would be the last for a little while since my 2.1 McCoy was planning his escape, but he is apparently still waiting to execute his plan and therefore I have time to write a BB. Here’s more or less what transpired.

2 burpees in honor of McCoy
Mosey to COP – some basic warmup stuff, you know, NBD
Mosey to new COP – 15 minutes of Mary, feet elevated the entire time (that was the goal, at least)
End it with 50 Mountain Climbers
With our cores fully smoked, it was time to destroy other body parts
Mosey to hotbox for lots of People’s Chair and leg exercises

At about this point, I could feel Raquel begging for some running, so I thought I’d oblige him.

5 Merkins to start
Run down the parking lot row parallel to the Aisle of Trees, do 10 Merkins
Run down the Aisle of Trees, do 15 Merkins
Run down the other parking lot row parallel to the Aisle of Trees, do 15 Merkins
Snake your way back doing 20, then 25, then 30 Merkins
And then do it again with Jump Squats

AYG race to the end of the parking lot then mosey to cars
10 burpees to finish

1. Y’all, Rachel is so fast. It’s not even right. The dude flies.
2. Lots of groans during the 15 Minutes of Mary, but I think everyone appreciated having their cores crushed. Even the folks who let their feet drop. #youagainstyou. Pretty sure at least Merman and Brills kept their feet up the whole time. Merman kept his feet up because he’s #dutybound and Brills is just sneaky strong.
3. Solid effort during the switchbacks. It was not fun for anyone, but the spread between the front and the 6 was actually pretty small. T claps to all.
4. During the People’s Chair, I asked for each member of the PAX to count to 10 before we recovered. Freaking Thunder Road must love People’s Chair because he took his sweet, sweet time. Very painful.

Another successful Anvil without using Entrance 4. #horseneck OUT

Not Prepared. Broke All The Rules.

AYE. This one was ugly. After trading a few texts with the Keeper of the RockZero Rules (Flipper), and thinking that I was actually potentially going to stick to them, everything went out the window. I was planning on doing partner work, but an odd number of dudes showed up. And that thing about a minimum of 3 miles? I posted at IronTribe on Thursday and had my legs summarily decimated by 25 minutes of squat pyramids capped off with box jump burpees. I was so sore I could barely walk, much less run. So, in light of that, here’s more or less what transpired.

Run to the rock and pick out a lifting rock
Circle up – 1x Imperial Walker (for Gummy)
Various presses – chest press, shoulder press, tricep press
Suzanna – 25 Merkins, 20 Chest Presses (rock), 10 Squats (rock) x like 10ish
8 minutes of Mary with feet elevated
Run to picnic tables near the side of the church, audible for 50 Burpees OYO
Run to bottom of the entrance nearby – 10 Burpees at the bottom
Run all the way to the hotbox
Lots of People’s Chair and Balls to the Wall
10 Jump Ups, 20 Derkins, 20 Dips x 3
Run down to the bottom of the little walkway thing
Each trash can on the way down – 3 Burpees
Each trash can on the way up – 2 Burpees
Run back to rocks, Chest Presses, then put ’em up
25 Mighty Merkins with partner
Run to circle with fake grass – 10 Burpees
Run back to start for 2 minutes of Mary

1. Lots of chatter this morning. Lots and lots. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t run 3 miles and Gummy refuseniks literally every exercise, but, as already mentioned, my legs were fried so we maybe got 2 miles.
2. Nemo is fast. Really fast. Like, Raquel fast. But unlike Raquel, he appears to not want to do anything except run. Not sure how he’s going to have the guns to impress the new crop of #freshmeat at Covenant Day if he refuses to do a Merkin.
3. Good to see Swiper out again. He’s obviously had his head underwater with the new 2.0, but I’m looking forward to becoming well acquainted with the back of his shirt again.


AYE. 13 gathered in the Gloom for the weekly Anvil beatdown. This one was a bit different than normal. We were successful in our failure. Or, at least, we did not fail to fail. We certainly failed to succeed in not failing. Here’s more or less what transpired.

THE THANG – Failure
The rules – We do one exercise one time and we do it until we fail.
SSH x 100 in cadence (ok, it’s kind of hard to actually fail with SSH)
Diamonds x 25 in cadence + 25 OYO
Low Slow Squat x 50 in cadence
Merkin superset – 40 OYO x 4, run the parking lot between sets and while waiting for 6
Sprint to light post
Heels to Heaven x 25 in cadence + 75 OYO
Partner throws to failure
Sprint to other light post
Mighty Merkin Superset – to failure (at least 25) for each parter at each light post
Mosey to benches
Jump Squat – 25 in cadence + 75 OYO
Dips – 25 in cadence + 25 OYO
Mosey back to parking lot
Sprints to light post and back
Final 4 minutes of Mary – feet elevated the entire time

1. YHC has been scheming on a failure-style workout for a while. There’s some method to the madness. It’s well known that the benefits of exercise are non-linear. Walking 1 step is not 1/10000th as good as walking 10,000 steps in a day. This should come as no surprise since virtually nothing in nature is linear – the world is full of curves and calculus, not lines and addition. So my theory for this exercise is that going all the way to failure will deliver some dose of non-linear benefits. The final 10 Merkins to failure might be way, way better for you than 10 Merkins in isolation. I don’t know. It’s just a theory I wanted to test and I much appreciated the PAX coming along for the ride, (mostly) without complaining too much!

2. Hard to call out standout performances today because, you know, the point was failure, but Merman clearly can knock out some Merkins. Lorax destroyed the sprints. Raquel must not have been working too hard because he was preparing to go for a run as YHC was leaving.

3. Mermaid reminded everyone to bring food to a workout to donate. Dry beans, tomato paste and rice are fair game.

#horseneck OUT

Hit me, bro

AYE. 21 men decided to take a hit at the Matrix Blackjack table and walked away with some jangle in their pockets. Here’s more or less what transpired:

Warmups – 10xSSH, Imperial Walkers, Merkins
Partner up (1 group of 3, we’ll get back to them in a second)
Round 1 – 100 Burpees – 1 partner runs a lap, other partner does exercise
Celebrate with a lap carrying your partner (flapjack as needed)
Round 2 – 200 Jump Squats
Another celebration lap of partner carries
Round 3 – 300 Merkins
Round 4 – 400 Monkey Humpers
Round 5 – 500 LBCs
Round 6 – Partner relay race – 1 lap each AYG
Interspersed throughout were Planks, Mary, etc.
Close out with the sacred blessing – 10 burpees OYO

1. I did a similar workout a few months ago with an FNG and the dude almost puked. This time wasn’t quite as hard and I couldn’t figure out why until later. Last time, I called all 5 rounds at once so it was non-stop smokefest. This time, I called each round individually with Plank and Mary in between. Made it way easier. Next time, we’re going back to non-stop.

2. The 3 Stooges. At one point, YHC was rounding the bend and saw 3 PAX standing and chatting. What? Turns out that the group of 3, ever after referred to as the 3 Stooges, decided to tackle the 2 man challenge with 3 men without making the requisite adjustments to the scope. I guess F3 is you against you but…come on!

3. Strong showing from FNG Mile High. He did not puke. He did not faint. But he did get a nickname that might cause some questions now that Colorado, the Mile High State, allows for legal consumption of the Herby Herb.

4. TClaps to PopTart for not harassing me the night before about remembering to Q. But in his defense, I had forgotten. Next time I’ll be looking for a crescendo of LinkedIn messages, tweets, Text messages, phone calls, Facebook messages, knocks on my door, etc.

#horseneck OUT

Elevens, Twelves, Fourteens

AYE. A dirty dozen emerged from the humid Gloom for the weekly Anvil beatdown. Here’s more or less what transpired.

Mosey to COP for warmup
14 x SSH
14 x Burpees
13 x Imperial Walkers
13 x Burpees
12 x Something that’s not a burpee
12 x Burpees

Head to the big knoll on Five Knolls
12’s on the hill from the overfull trashcan at the top to the overfull trashcan at the bottom
Start with 12 burpees and 1 jump squat
3 rounds in, YHC felt a bile gusher arising and decided to shorten the track a few times

True 6 minutes of Mary at the top of the hill after the last round
Sprints, lunge walk, mosey back to the VSF
Plank/Merkin/Mtn Climber combo until the clock expires

1. That sucked. I’ll admit it. Raquel didn’t seem to have a problem with it but everyone else was gassed. Alf and Scabby made respectable showings. The rest of us were just trying to survive. That hill is wicked. If YHC hadn’t shortened the track, we would have gone into OT for sure.

2. Callout time – Ickey sent me a text later that day that he had a muscle spasm and almost collapsed in a heap at work.

#horseneck OUT