Author Archive McGee

Da Lobsta Rolls

This is McGee posting on Lobsta’s behalf.

GO PATS. Yeah, yeah, I know. I missed the last time I was supposed to Q. Whateva. Time to make up for lost time, sort of like what my boy Gronk is going to have to do after he gets back from his suspension. GO PATS

The Thing

Mosey to the parking lot for a warmup
10 x Tom Brady – this is where we all simulate how to properly inflate a football GO PATS
10 x Bill Belichek – this is where we all start in a squat position and then stand up and walk out, kind of like he did at that press conference because he’s a complete and total badass GO PATS
10 x Gronk – this is where we all line up and hit each other completely legally but we take a rest afterwards anyway GO PATS

That’s all you need, fellas. Brady. Belichek. Gronk. Game ova. We just circled up afterwards and complained about the snow. It was a wicked good workout. GO PATS


1. Yo, I got a new twitta handle. Doan get me wrong, I neva go on twitta, but I got a new one anyway – @ghost

2. TClaps to all of the strong dudes out there today. I mean, not PATS strong, but pretty strong anyway.

3. Oh yeah, sorry guys, I forgot all about the Sox. GO SOX

See yous guys in the gloom next week. Nah nah, I’ll be there, wearing my hoodie just like Belichek. GO PATS GO SOX GO CELTS


Slapping the Floor

AYE. The PAX gathered in the gloom and 05:30 came and went without any floors being slapped. We were about to have a Q by democracy and Da Squids was explaining something about 4 stations and then YHC decided it was time to take charge. Not because DS would have done a bad job, but because YHC remembered that I had to pay penance for missing my Kevlar Q last Friday. For good reason, by the way, but still missing it. So here’s what happened next:

Mosey to lower parking lot, run a lap and then COP for SSH x 10 and Imperial Walkers x 10
Enough of that shiz
Mosey to end of parking lot and partner up

Partner 1 runs a lap, Partner 2 does stated exercise
Goal is cumulative total reps per exercise

Round 1 – 200 Merkins
Round 2 – 300 Jump Squats
Round 3 – 400 LBCs
Round 4 – 500 Mountain Climbers
Round 5 – 400 Sister Mary Catherines
Round 6 – 300 Flutter Kicks
Round 7 – 200 Jump Squats wait, nevermind, 100 Burpees

Finish out with a little bit of Mary – Heels to Heaven, High Slow Flutter, Jackknife
AYG to the finish line


  1. Floor Slapper missed a good one.
  2. Some serious speed this morning out there in both waves. Smokey was a consistent top finisher in Wave 1, Laronda crushed Wave 2.
  3. I have no idea where No Regerts’ name came from but it’s awesome.
  4. It was cold out there. I guess that scared away the PAX without the fortitude to handle the cold. I mean, it was so cold that O’Tennenbaum only sweated through one of his two shirts.
  5. When are we going to have the pleasure of seeing both Squid and Squid Twin at the same workout?

That’s it. Something about a Christmas party and a 5k as well. #horseneck OUT

In Honor of 2.1

AYE. Just 9 gathered in the not-so-gloomy-actually-kind-of-nice Gloom for the weekly Anvil beatdown. YHC was figuring that this post would be the last for a little while since my 2.1 McCoy was planning his escape, but he is apparently still waiting to execute his plan and therefore I have time to write a BB. Here’s more or less what transpired.

2 burpees in honor of McCoy
Mosey to COP – some basic warmup stuff, you know, NBD
Mosey to new COP – 15 minutes of Mary, feet elevated the entire time (that was the goal, at least)
End it with 50 Mountain Climbers
With our cores fully smoked, it was time to destroy other body parts
Mosey to hotbox for lots of People’s Chair and leg exercises

At about this point, I could feel Raquel begging for some running, so I thought I’d oblige him.

5 Merkins to start
Run down the parking lot row parallel to the Aisle of Trees, do 10 Merkins
Run down the Aisle of Trees, do 15 Merkins
Run down the other parking lot row parallel to the Aisle of Trees, do 15 Merkins
Snake your way back doing 20, then 25, then 30 Merkins
And then do it again with Jump Squats

AYG race to the end of the parking lot then mosey to cars
10 burpees to finish

1. Y’all, Rachel is so fast. It’s not even right. The dude flies.
2. Lots of groans during the 15 Minutes of Mary, but I think everyone appreciated having their cores crushed. Even the folks who let their feet drop. #youagainstyou. Pretty sure at least Merman and Brills kept their feet up the whole time. Merman kept his feet up because he’s #dutybound and Brills is just sneaky strong.
3. Solid effort during the switchbacks. It was not fun for anyone, but the spread between the front and the 6 was actually pretty small. T claps to all.
4. During the People’s Chair, I asked for each member of the PAX to count to 10 before we recovered. Freaking Thunder Road must love People’s Chair because he took his sweet, sweet time. Very painful.

Another successful Anvil without using Entrance 4. #horseneck OUT

Not Prepared. Broke All The Rules.

AYE. This one was ugly. After trading a few texts with the Keeper of the RockZero Rules (Flipper), and thinking that I was actually potentially going to stick to them, everything went out the window. I was planning on doing partner work, but an odd number of dudes showed up. And that thing about a minimum of 3 miles? I posted at IronTribe on Thursday and had my legs summarily decimated by 25 minutes of squat pyramids capped off with box jump burpees. I was so sore I could barely walk, much less run. So, in light of that, here’s more or less what transpired.

Run to the rock and pick out a lifting rock
Circle up – 1x Imperial Walker (for Gummy)
Various presses – chest press, shoulder press, tricep press
Suzanna – 25 Merkins, 20 Chest Presses (rock), 10 Squats (rock) x like 10ish
8 minutes of Mary with feet elevated
Run to picnic tables near the side of the church, audible for 50 Burpees OYO
Run to bottom of the entrance nearby – 10 Burpees at the bottom
Run all the way to the hotbox
Lots of People’s Chair and Balls to the Wall
10 Jump Ups, 20 Derkins, 20 Dips x 3
Run down to the bottom of the little walkway thing
Each trash can on the way down – 3 Burpees
Each trash can on the way up – 2 Burpees
Run back to rocks, Chest Presses, then put ’em up
25 Mighty Merkins with partner
Run to circle with fake grass – 10 Burpees
Run back to start for 2 minutes of Mary

1. Lots of chatter this morning. Lots and lots. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t run 3 miles and Gummy refuseniks literally every exercise, but, as already mentioned, my legs were fried so we maybe got 2 miles.
2. Nemo is fast. Really fast. Like, Raquel fast. But unlike Raquel, he appears to not want to do anything except run. Not sure how he’s going to have the guns to impress the new crop of #freshmeat at Covenant Day if he refuses to do a Merkin.
3. Good to see Swiper out again. He’s obviously had his head underwater with the new 2.0, but I’m looking forward to becoming well acquainted with the back of his shirt again.


AYE. 13 gathered in the Gloom for the weekly Anvil beatdown. This one was a bit different than normal. We were successful in our failure. Or, at least, we did not fail to fail. We certainly failed to succeed in not failing. Here’s more or less what transpired.

THE THANG – Failure
The rules – We do one exercise one time and we do it until we fail.
SSH x 100 in cadence (ok, it’s kind of hard to actually fail with SSH)
Diamonds x 25 in cadence + 25 OYO
Low Slow Squat x 50 in cadence
Merkin superset – 40 OYO x 4, run the parking lot between sets and while waiting for 6
Sprint to light post
Heels to Heaven x 25 in cadence + 75 OYO
Partner throws to failure
Sprint to other light post
Mighty Merkin Superset – to failure (at least 25) for each parter at each light post
Mosey to benches
Jump Squat – 25 in cadence + 75 OYO
Dips – 25 in cadence + 25 OYO
Mosey back to parking lot
Sprints to light post and back
Final 4 minutes of Mary – feet elevated the entire time

1. YHC has been scheming on a failure-style workout for a while. There’s some method to the madness. It’s well known that the benefits of exercise are non-linear. Walking 1 step is not 1/10000th as good as walking 10,000 steps in a day. This should come as no surprise since virtually nothing in nature is linear – the world is full of curves and calculus, not lines and addition. So my theory for this exercise is that going all the way to failure will deliver some dose of non-linear benefits. The final 10 Merkins to failure might be way, way better for you than 10 Merkins in isolation. I don’t know. It’s just a theory I wanted to test and I much appreciated the PAX coming along for the ride, (mostly) without complaining too much!

2. Hard to call out standout performances today because, you know, the point was failure, but Merman clearly can knock out some Merkins. Lorax destroyed the sprints. Raquel must not have been working too hard because he was preparing to go for a run as YHC was leaving.

3. Mermaid reminded everyone to bring food to a workout to donate. Dry beans, tomato paste and rice are fair game.

#horseneck OUT

Hit me, bro

AYE. 21 men decided to take a hit at the Matrix Blackjack table and walked away with some jangle in their pockets. Here’s more or less what transpired:

Warmups – 10xSSH, Imperial Walkers, Merkins
Partner up (1 group of 3, we’ll get back to them in a second)
Round 1 – 100 Burpees – 1 partner runs a lap, other partner does exercise
Celebrate with a lap carrying your partner (flapjack as needed)
Round 2 – 200 Jump Squats
Another celebration lap of partner carries
Round 3 – 300 Merkins
Round 4 – 400 Monkey Humpers
Round 5 – 500 LBCs
Round 6 – Partner relay race – 1 lap each AYG
Interspersed throughout were Planks, Mary, etc.
Close out with the sacred blessing – 10 burpees OYO

1. I did a similar workout a few months ago with an FNG and the dude almost puked. This time wasn’t quite as hard and I couldn’t figure out why until later. Last time, I called all 5 rounds at once so it was non-stop smokefest. This time, I called each round individually with Plank and Mary in between. Made it way easier. Next time, we’re going back to non-stop.

2. The 3 Stooges. At one point, YHC was rounding the bend and saw 3 PAX standing and chatting. What? Turns out that the group of 3, ever after referred to as the 3 Stooges, decided to tackle the 2 man challenge with 3 men without making the requisite adjustments to the scope. I guess F3 is you against you but…come on!

3. Strong showing from FNG Mile High. He did not puke. He did not faint. But he did get a nickname that might cause some questions now that Colorado, the Mile High State, allows for legal consumption of the Herby Herb.

4. TClaps to PopTart for not harassing me the night before about remembering to Q. But in his defense, I had forgotten. Next time I’ll be looking for a crescendo of LinkedIn messages, tweets, Text messages, phone calls, Facebook messages, knocks on my door, etc.

#horseneck OUT

Elevens, Twelves, Fourteens

AYE. A dirty dozen emerged from the humid Gloom for the weekly Anvil beatdown. Here’s more or less what transpired.

Mosey to COP for warmup
14 x SSH
14 x Burpees
13 x Imperial Walkers
13 x Burpees
12 x Something that’s not a burpee
12 x Burpees

Head to the big knoll on Five Knolls
12’s on the hill from the overfull trashcan at the top to the overfull trashcan at the bottom
Start with 12 burpees and 1 jump squat
3 rounds in, YHC felt a bile gusher arising and decided to shorten the track a few times

True 6 minutes of Mary at the top of the hill after the last round
Sprints, lunge walk, mosey back to the VSF
Plank/Merkin/Mtn Climber combo until the clock expires

1. That sucked. I’ll admit it. Raquel didn’t seem to have a problem with it but everyone else was gassed. Alf and Scabby made respectable showings. The rest of us were just trying to survive. That hill is wicked. If YHC hadn’t shortened the track, we would have gone into OT for sure.

2. Callout time – Ickey sent me a text later that day that he had a muscle spasm and almost collapsed in a heap at work.

#horseneck OUT

Less Fun than Joe Davis

AYE. For the A51 PAX who spurned the Joe Davis Run, YHC brewed up somethin’ really special to punish all of us for not being better people and supporting a great cause. Plus, Banglaore (FNG) texted, and I quote, “make it difficult…very difficult” for his first post. So I did my best. Here’s more or less what transpired, as far as I can remember. It’s amazing how much I forget in 3 days…

10 Burpees for a little appetizer
10 SSH + 10 Burpees
10 Merkins

The Lap – Parking lot next to cars, up North Face and around Calvary with 8 pain stations
Lap 1 – 10 Jump Squats at each station + Mary and plank at the finish
Lap 2 – 25 Merkins at each station + Mary and plank at the finish
Lap 3 – 20 Freddie Mercuries at each station
Mary – keep feet elevated, close it out with 50 cadence Mountain Climbers
Lap 4 – 10 Burpees at each station + Mary and plank at the finish
Lap 5 – Run yer arse off

Sprint to first light pole
Sprint to second light pole
Sprint all the way back
Duck walk to first light pole
Lungewalk somewhere in there
I think that was it but, like I said, I can’t really remember


  1. The as-yet-to-be-named Bangalore was at my house on Friday with his M and was himming and hawing about F3 but I headlocked him so hard that he had to post. And post he did. Very strong showing for an FNG. He did tell me later that he was a) sore and b) not so thrilled about his nickname but said “this isn’t my first rodeo, I know not to complain.” Wise words. Just ask @asslesschaps, @crotchrocket, @dryhole, @tigercock, @cavitysearch, @ballhair. Ok, just kidding on that last one, but we did almost give that to a @hairball (F3 RIP) headlock.
  2. Great to have Big League Chew out in the PAX. It’s somewhat difficult to fully understand what he’s saying because of all of the chaw in his cheek, but his positive vibes were appreciated.
  3. Larry Birds to Teddy, Joker and JetFuel. Dudes can fly.
  4. Good to have the youngersters out with us. I will not lie that it makes me feel pretty good to smoke a guy 12 years my junior…which is exactly how @hillary, @stinger, @turkeyleg and many others feel when I post. What goes around comes around.
  5. For those of y’all not so good at the maths, we did a hundred burpees. Just wanted to make sure the record stands.

#horseneck OUT

Just a Hundred

AYE. This year has been a challenging one for me and my family. I’ve been posting at F3 several days a week since July of 2011 but these last few months I’ve struggled to get out of the #fartsack at 5AM on a regular basis. Sleep has just seemed like a much better choice. As many of you in F3 Nation and your Ms in FiA nation know, my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer in May and the prognosis isn’t great. A couple of months ago, my best friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. My wife and I are struggling with prolonged infertility issues after our first son. And to top it all off, at work I went from managing 8 people to 80 people and taking over a product line I knew virtually nothing about in the middle of a planned spinoff for my division of the company. I’ve never doubted that God is using all of this for His glory and I can already see how much good coming even from things that seem dark. But that doesn’t mean my 6 is up and out of the #fartsack before dawn these days because, as a few of you have mentioned, it usually ain’t.

So I decided to do something a little bit different for the month of December and live up to my given title as the King of Burpees #flyingsquirrels even if I’m not posting quite as often.

100 Burpees a day for 31 days
Burpees can be done consecutively or sprinkled like sacred salt throughout a workout

I’m not going to make this super philosophical, but I did learn a few things along the way. Some of them were just simple reminders of some truths that I often forget.

  1. If you do something a lot, you will get better at it. My first 100 consecutive burpees on 12/1 took 7:30 to complete and I recall being pretty wiped out. Two days ago I knocked out the full hundred in 5:30 with a little gas left in the tank.
  2. You have no excuse to not do 100 burpees. It takes less than 10 minutes, all in. It’s not a full workout, but it always left me feeling like I’d at least done something on a day where I might have done nothing. I even got my brother-in-law to do them with me on Christmas morning before we opened presents.
  3. Habits are easier than choices. I made a choice on 12/1 to do 100 burpees a day for the month of December. By about the 10th day in, I wasn’t choosing anymore. I was waking up and thinking about when I was going to do my 100 burpees. There was no “if.” Well, except for that one time…
  4. The PAX is with you, whatever you’re doing. A few folks complained about doing more burpees than necessary, but the PAX was generally down with it. The crew at #RockZero even knocked out the last 30 with me this morning in overtime. TClaps.

So what now? I think I’m going to take tomorrow off and then go back at it – 100 burpees a day for 100 days. I still need it. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Who’s with me?

A Tale of the Refuseniks

AYE. 7 hearty souls gathered in the frosty Gloom for the weekly RockZero #RIPDZ beatdown. There was some working out, a lot of complaining, quite a bit of #refuseniking and 100 burpees for some. Here’s more or less what transpired:

Mosey to church porte cochere
Do some exercises and eventually cover 30 burpees
Run back to parking lot by cars for:
3 jumpsquats at each parking lot line all the way to Buttermaker’s mom-mobile
AYG back to the line
10x huddle jumps for each leg
Lunge walk to middle, do some baryshnikovs, frog walk the rest of the way and back
AYG back to the line
5x monkey humpers at each line and then 10x for the last few lines
Mosey to bottom of The North Face
Run to the top, do 10 burpees, run to the bottom, do 20 jumpsquats
Repeato 3 times
Gather back at porte cochere for a true 6 minutes of Mary
What does that mean? It means you can’t let your feet touch the ground for 6 minutes while we do exercises
How many guys actually did that? YHC and maybe Flipper and maybe maybe Curd
Someone then asked – “can we run for a little bit?” Sure, so we lapped the church and did 30 burpees along the way
At the bottom of the parking lot we did 5 burpees then true AYG to the mom-mobile
5 more burpees
Some more stuff to kill time and then we were (mercifully) done
100 burpees, 2.2 miles, about a thousand monkeys humped

1. Curd busted out an electronic skateboard (of sorts) after the workout and did an incredibly acrobatic controlled fall about 5 seconds into his demonstration. TClaps. $1,400 well spent.

2. Buttermaker straight up refused to do burpees. #highintensitysiteQ

3. Lots of smack talk was appreciated. Alf would have fit right in but he was at home puking his brains out. That’s the only reasonable explanation for why he would bail out on the Q the night before.

Thanks again to the pax for putting up with my challenge to do 100 burpees every day this December. #horseneck OUT