Beer Mile preblast

Beer Mile preblast

Join us for the semi-regular running of the Beer Mile this Friday, May 11 at 6:30 pm (although am would add an interesting twist) at an undisclosed location (rhymes with “mouth harlot little drool”). This is an unsanctioned event. Just a bunch of dudes gathering to test their mettle. BYOB.

What is a beer mile? Beer, lap, beer, lap, beer, lap, beer, lap.

What are the rules? There’s a whole website and governing body (www.beermile.com) – you probably don’t want to open that at work. There are a surprising number of rules, but the important ones are:

1. The beer has to be at least 5%. That rules out all light beers. There’s a list on the website above. Choose wisely – by the third lap, you won’t like how it tastes.
2. We’ll allow cans or bottles, but they have to be 12 oz. We required cans last time, but the world record was set with bottles, so who are we to judge? No modifications to the cans; you have to open the can or bottle just before drinking it and finish it within the transition zone (marked 10m zone around the start/finish line).
3. If you hurl before you finish your fourth lap, you have to run one penalty lap.
4. The clock starts when you crack your first beer and stops when you cross the finish line on your fourth lap.

What’s the world record? 4:33.6. There’s a video available. Google it. It’s ridiculous. I think I finished in around 12 minutes last time, and I was in the top half.

How should I train? It’s too late. But be comforted knowing that beer drinking skills are much more important than running speed. Turkey Leg and Alf took DNFs last time. Pop Tart almost won. So…

Can I bring spectators? Absolutely, although choose wisely. There are things they won’t be able to unsee. Semi Gloss took off his shirt and walked around with a towel around his waist last time I did this. And there may be hurling. Most guys will bring a 6-pack of beer and only need 4, so your spectators shouldn’t have any trouble finding a beverage.

Can I just watch? Sure! We may need drivers afterwards anyway.

What else do I need to know?

1. Be cool and be safe. As with all of our workouts, we’ll leave the AO in better shape than we found it. No litter. If you hurl, try to do it in the bushes.
2. Obviously we don’t have the track reserved for this, so in the unlikely event that someone is using the track, I have a backup plan at the same location.
3. Join the #beermile channel on Slack for more info, trash talking and gambling.
4. Some of us will probably grab some dinner afterwards, so bring a change of clothes if you’re interested in that.
5. Find me on one of our 37 social media outlets if you have any questions or are unable to crack the code about the location.
6. BYOB. Again, be cool. Be discreet in your packaging in case there are innocent bystanders.