11 of Ballantyne’s finest decided that a 35-degree Saturday morning was a beautiful time to arise and embrace the suck. With visions of post-workout, free chicken biscuits in our minds (surprise bonus!), we set off to explore new territory and name a new hill.
Goonie’s M: You guys have a weird name for everything.
Goonie: Pretty much
M: Why?
Goonie: Because we can….
The Thang:
Mosey through the Best Buy parking lot, cross Rea, gather at the lot between the gas station and Target for some COP: IW x 15 IC, Windmills x 10 IC, Tempo Merkins x 11. At this point, someone pointed out that somewhere, some prison inmates were probably doing the same thing as us. For the first time (and definitely not the last), it was pointed out that this was absolutely not as bad as prison. Mosey north on Rea to Parks Farm Ln. We thought of turning right to go pick up Paper Jam, but there was a pleasant little hill waiting our arrival. Turn left and stop at the intersection of Parks Farm and Gander.
What was to become “Folsom Hill” is an almost quarter-mile long incline with a pretty steep final hundred yards. It’s not the Murderhorn, but it’s pretty nasty. So, we decided to give it a little love.
Round 1: Sprint up hill, recover with 3 merkins at each of the 25 trees on the way back down
Round 2: Sprint up, recover back down with 3 squats at each tree
Round 3: Sprint up, recover with 1 burpee at each tree
Pax frequently reminded each other that it wasn’t as bad as prison. We did some Mary between rounds to collect the six. Once done, we headed back toward launch. Stopped for some Merkins and plank along the way to let the six catch up. Stopped by the fountains between Bravo and Brixx for a round of 15 incline merkins, 10 step-ups (each leg) and 15 decline merkins. Headed back toward Chick Fil-A with a few minutes to spare. Stopped at the bank parking lot for 10 6-inch crunches, then 50 LBCs OYO, run up to Rea, around the corner on Ardrey Kell, and back into the CFA parking lot. We hit 4 miles right around 7:29:30. Goal accomplished. Great work by all. Done.
Ye Olde Nekkid Moleskine:
YHC was cutting through on Parks Farm Ln. one day and discovered Folsom Hill. Once I measured the distance to CFA, a message went out to Fredo to put YHC on the Q schedule for da Vinci. YHC loves to find new territory and take the pax to new places, no matter what AO. Mission accomplished on this one. Fredo and Bucky both informed me they had never been to Parks Farm (that they knew of), so new territory was discovered.
When we arrived at the base, a gentleman was at his front porch lauding us for our dedication. After a few back-and-forth comments, Bucky invited him to join us. That was met with a “Good luck fellas, and a door slammed on us. Someone needs to learn the joys of the DRP.
Teddy, Lewinsky, Bucky, and YHC were out front most of the morning. Bucky just glides effortlessly. Lewinsky took off like a bat out of hell up the hill the first time and almost ran out of gas. Those young’uns need to learn how to ration energy. The dude can move, though. Teddy was putting in his usual quiet strong effort. Future Q tip: Teddy’s kryptonite is stairs. He does NOT like them.
We had some strong respects in our midst this morning. Fredo and Frehley’s doing what they always do – making us all hope we’re in that good of shape when we’re 70 years old, too. Chopper was the definition of persistence – he made sure he finished every last rep. Respect, brother!
Escobar was disappointed at the mileage. He was hoping for at least 5. We don’t know what got the better workout: Mighty Mite’s legs or his mouth. Unfortunately, they don’t have a smartwatch for that. Strawberry was pushing hard, even though he wasn’t feeling 100%. Scratch and Win reminded us all morning long: the workout may suck, but we all have it pretty good.
Thanks to Fredo and Bucky for letting YHC Q. Thanks to Chick Fil-A for the free chicken biscuits when you use the app. FYI, it takes multiple Clemson grads to download the CFA app and use it. Thanks to Scratch and Win for the takeout.
About the author