What the BUCK(et) is this workout?

What the BUCK(et) is this workout?

Summary:

17 men faced the wrath of J.R.R. Tolkien this morning at the heralded SOB high-intensity workout known as ‘The Brave’, completing just under 4 miles of incline heavy bucket carries (85lbs), incline overhead log carries (60-70 lbs), hair burners from Hell (35lb plate), and incline backwards runs for the better part of an hour.  Justice was duly served to each and every one of the PAX as penance for the sins of a few PAX constant ribbing of YHC (Twitter, Slack, to my face!), but in the end the PAX were battered but not broken, and better from the misery. #dontFwiththeQnexttime

The Thang:
 
– 5:15am sharp, and it’s go time! Mosey to empty surface lot North of Brixham and circle up
– YHC gives the personal liability disclaimer, particularly important given the planned workout
o   10 SSH in cadence
o   26 in-cadence merkins
– Run to the seating walls in front of Lochness Lake
o   31 hip slappers in-cadence on wall
– Run up Ballantyne Corporate Pl, doing some dynamic warmup (high knees, butt kicks, alternating side shuffle)
– Stop at the surface lot in from of the Snyder’s-Lance Building and hold plank during instruction
1) While in plank, PAX count off in groups of 4 PAX, making 4 teams (one team with 5 PAX)
2) While in plank, YHC gives brief Greek Mythology lesson of Sisyphus, founder and King of Corinth who royally pissed off Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and ended up being punished in the underworld, by being forced to push a heavy boulder up a hill only let it roll back down the hill and repeat the sequence, for eternity. This is the lesson on ‘futility’ which inspired YHC when creating the workout.
3) Timed sprint up the ‘Bagpipe Hill’ segment in an attempt to take down Frasier’s 0:36 second record #FAIL. Winner’s team gets to push 25lb plate for hairburner, not 35lb plate.

Begin Exercise Sequence, as each member of a team starts at one of four exercise stations and repeat exercise at the station, until they are relieved by their teammate:

– Exercise #1: Backwards run up Bagpipe Hill (0.17miles), forwards run over the bridge to cones YHC placed on the side of the road, and back (.4 miles), then relieve teammate performing exercise #2
– Exercise #2: Bucket Carry up Bagpipe Hill (0.17 miles) to the start of the bridge and back down (any resting done in plank position), repeat until relieved by runner doing exercise #1, then relieve teammate doing exercise #3
– Exercise #3: Overhead log carry up Bagpipe Hill (.17 miles) and back down (any resting done in plank position), repeat until relieved by bucket carry person doing exercise #2, then relieve teammate doing exercise #4
– Exercise #4: Hairburner in parking lot roughly 50 yards out & 50 yards back (35lb plate), repeat until relieved by log carry person doing exercise #3, then go back to doing exercise #1
– Repeat Sequence until time was called at 6:10am and run back to The Vine starting point just in the nick of time for COT.

Moleskin… will YHC ever run out of trolling material? Not anytime soon…. read on:
 
Fletch named it best, the ‘Murderer’s Row’ of obstacles (bucket carries, log carries, hairburners) back-to-back-to-back after taking part in YHC’s Spartan Race held @ Day Zero a week ago. YHC was determined to pick only exercises/obstacles that no PAX would be able to dog in a workout (i.e. running, squats, etc) and these three fit the bill. Just ask Haggis who would normally go easy on a Friday, per his new exercise schedule, but found no way to go easy on this day.
 
As mentioned in the summary, YHC was determined to deliver a thorough beating to the PAX, after being poked on Slack for the better part of, well since YHC has been on Slack! So the pace out of the Vine parking lot was fast and furious. Voodoo was the only one calling out cadence with YHC during the hip slappers, which resulted in YHC getting irritated and yelling why the F no one else was counting!

Since YHC has been accused of ‘segment hunting’ (which YHC pleads the 5th on), the plan to sprint up Bagpipe Hill early in the workout, was meant to be Fast, Furious, and Fixated on taking down Frasier’s record (36 seconds) Fresh! However, the only F word (no not that one) that can be used to describe the outcome was FAIL, as Frasier’s record still stands! On this day, Mario took gold in the race with a time probably in the low 40 seconds, with the silver medal going to his Grandaddy Haggis, and the bronze to his Daddy JRR Tolkien. What it must feel like to be an young boy, beating old men up a hill #getagirlfriendalreadydude
 
Notable Performances… Well, they were all ‘notable’:

– Mario filled up his F3 trophy case this week: #VT for Bagpipe Hill Sprint, #VT for Hairburners, T-Claps for Muthaship post earlier this week, #VT for North Face run @ Black Diamond. Congrats dude… you smashed a bunch of guys that are old enough to be your father. #noseriouslygetagirlfriendalreadydude
– Beaker pulled up in Stone Mountain Grill lot just as the PAX were taking off to start the workout. Although from the look on his face going up and down Bagpipe Hill, he was wishing he came two minutes later (that’s what she said!)
– Ickey Shuffle, fresh off crushing his Spartan Race with a skinless finger and running a cool 4 miles in sweltering pollen last night with YHC at Ghost Runner, nearly spilled merlot in the bucket… which would have been ok, since puke turns into sand right?
– Haggis was none too pleased with YHC for the heavy bucket carry, and mentioned once or twice that he was going to seek revenge on YHC. Just make sure you do it at a F3 workout and not on my outdoor patio Stone Man!!!
– At 52, Freely once again proved he is a badass…. i mean how can one constantly be farting throughout the workout unless they have a bad-ass? #gastrointestinalproblems #getyourcoloncleansedafter50
– Madame Toussads mentioned after COT he wished he had taped his biceps with duct tape for the bucket carry. The real problem is his biceps are so large and his arms so short, that his meaty limbs and 10k merkin chest have no chance of connecting around the bucket! #meatheadproblems
– Cheddar looked a little lost today, being the 5th member of a team, and offering to help everyone with their bucket and log. Rule #1: Don’t EVER touch another man’s log dude! Especially when they are handling it.
– Fire Hazard is recovering nicely from his Achilles / calf injury and put in a solid effort today. FH broke the SOB golden rule of ‘don’t defend Tolkien’ and therefore will not be trolled in THIS particular backblast.
– If YHC saw correctly Market Timer and Heartbreaker both nearly had heart attacks on the bucket carry, and transitioned to hairburners before being relieved. Market Timer mentioned on Slack that he actually welcomed the hairburner rather than the bucket carry it was so difficult. YHC thought a hairburner actually would have been more difficult since MT has no hair to burn!
–  YHC told Goonie about seeking revenge on the PAX going up the hill, to which Goonie wanted to be clear that he was not part of the ribbing and didn’t deserve the punishment. Sorry man… great effort today. #collateraldamage
– One little, two little, three little Indian-landers… Nope, only two in Pebbles and Ringer, with no Copay and One Niner #tribalfighting. Ringer is the model of consistency, and shows up to post with his game face on. Pebbles was super excited for the workout, and was gripping his wood high in proper form the entire time (um, that sounded weird…) . Dude is a flat out BEAST!!! Must be from the 1.2 lbs that he promised to lose in the 10lb weight-loss challenge.
– Argonaut and Voodoo both must have thought the buckets and logs were kettle bells, and it was Monday at Foxhole, since both of those tho animals powered through the bucket carry and log carry using proper form. Argonaut seemed to get stuck with the log carry for the better part of 40 minutes.
– Outback was already sweating in the parking lot before the workout, either from doing 3 workouts right before, or wearing too much clothes (just a t-shirt despite the high-30 degree weather).

YHC with the amazing takeout thanking God for the raw materials of this Earth including wood, rocks, and plastic?

Site Q’s, MT and Mario, it was a pleasure to lead the PAX for this workout so thanks for giving me the keys to The Brave this week, and YHC appreciates the PAX support for attending the workouts. Looking forward to sharpening more iron with you fellas soon.

Announcements:

– Lots of races and CSAUPs coming up… sign up for one of them so you can get a medal, medals are nice.
– Battlefrog in Concord, NC this upcoming weekend. YHC is going to attempt the Xtreme 40k, and it’s not too late to sign up for that or the 8k… your choice. See you out there.
– Ragnar Relay October 7-8 2016, 8 trailrunners per team @ Anne Springs Greenway, SC. Let me know if interested as YHC forming a team, possibly two. The Fort is also creating a team.

#PreBlast – Location CHANGE 1 Week ONLY – Fitness Tests

The Twitter people have spoken (well, 7 of them) at https://twitter.com/bratwurst_f3/status/721348829715546116 , and it is agreed to push the 1 Mile Time Trial out 1 month to May 17th (week of the Fast5). However, we’ll still have Swift at Community House Middle School tomorrow, but we’ll have a different kind of Fitness Test planned (still doesn’t involve merkins).

The THANG:

0500 – Prerun
0515 – Start warm-up
0530 – Begin first test – 1 mile race simulation
0545 – Begin second test – The BEEP test – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weEe4V0Ot2Y
0600 – done for those that need to leave early
0615 – Full COT

Location = Community House Middle School – 9500 Community House Rd, Charlotte, NC 28277. Park in Bus Entrance Lot north of school.

Basemaster Classic – The Gopherfish

Good crowd at the Base Camp this AM, a site that I visit infrequently. Not sure if I’ll be invited back either, but it was a good time.

Thang:

Warmup COP in field of darkness listing to Swiper talk constantly about P90X while Simba pretended to be interested.

– SSH
– 5 burpees
– Squats
– 5 burpees
– Windmills
– 5 burpees

The Gopher:

– P1 runs lap around track
– P2 does 20 LBC, 20 step ups, 20 squats over at bleachers
– meet at concession stand for 15 partner handslap merkins
– flapjack until time called

Mary:

– Flutter
– LBC
– Dolly
– Bicycle
– V Up
– 100s
– Simba’s call – 10 burpees

Skin:

Worked up a good sweat this am running the track. This is a nonstop one that starts to get to you after the 3rd lap or so, especially during the climb back up to the concession stand. Sorry it wasn’t more creative, but I was up late last night and had a lot on my mind this AM – so we went autopilot.

Simba said that this may have pushed the “moderate” boundary a bit, but I say “whatevs” to this. You guys can handle it (you already did). You could probably handle quite a bit more. You’ll pass out before you die, trust me . . .

Not sure if Swiper had every been to Base Camp, or if he actually knew anyone there, but he was flying around like he owned the place. He left early, but I think it’s because Simba asked him to.

Good to see Mall Cop, Wolfman, Strawberry, and some of the other guys that I don’t run across very often in my normal circle of workouts.

Welcome FNG Matt, who we named FMB (Fire Marshall Bill). He’s a Fort Mill firefighter who has never seen “In Living Color” and had not idea what we were talking about. Perfect.

Gotta run – busy day and no time for a ninja backblast. Sound off with any comments.

– HH

Secret Service Snatch Test

7 men gathered in the gloomy shadows of Elon Park with their collective curiosity piqued about what YHC would bring. The initial instructions and acknowledgements, including YHC’s “not a professional” tidbit and “thanks for the opportunity” riff were followed by a disclosure that described this workout as sort of pyramid shaped. Here’s what happened next:

WarmUp-orama

  • Mosey Lap
  • 30 SSH In Cadence
  • 10 Low Slow KB Goblet Squat In Cadence
  • 20 SSH In Cadence
  • 10 Low Slow KB Goblet Squat In Cadence

The Thang


Stage 1

  • Mosey to playground and grab a partner:
  • P1: 20 X sumo-deadlift high-pull
  • P2: 5 pull-ups, then hang on bar until P1 completes high-pulls or failure
  • Flapjack
    (Repeato 4X)

Stage 2

  • Mosey around the school, stop halfway for 15 burpees OYO, and back to the parking lot, and get into a semi-circle for instructions and throw on some music.
  • Secret Service Snatch Test: 10 minutes of continuous kettle bell snatch. You may switch hands as often as you want; if you need a break, set the bell down but at least one hand must remain on the bell the whole time.
  • 10 count

Secret Service Snatch Test (SSST): is a test allegedly used as a weed out exercise for candidates of the Secret Service. There’s not a lot to confirm whether this is actually the case. I guess that stands to reason since secrets are kind of their thing over there. The SSST is a ten minute sprint for the heart, lungs, hamstrings, grip, and mind. Men’s weight~53lb, Lady’s weight~35lb


Stage 3

  • Mosey back around the school, stop halfway for 30 merkins OYO, then mosey to playground and grab a partner.
  • Partner up.
  • P1: 15 knees-to-elbow.
  • P2: with KB in each hand.
    – rd 1 -> press
    – rd 2 -> push press
    – rd 3 -> squat thruster
  • Flapjack
    Repeat 3 times (each partner does 3 rds of KTE, and each of the press, push press, and thruster)

Stage 4

  • Mosey back to the Lot.
  • Put KB on right shoulder, run the length of the lot.
  • Put KB on left shoulder, run the length of the lot.
  • Circle up
  • 20 Flutters, In Cadence
  • 20 LCBs, In Cadence
  • 20 Heels to Heaven, In Cadence
  • 20 Countain Climbers

Moleskine

Q-ing for the first time was an experience. Turns out, YHC needs to warm up the vocals as part of the warm-up; the voicebox shorted out halfway through the second set of cadenced SSH: YHC’s [1, 2, 3] turned into [pause, “ooh”, “hree”]. YHC tried to pass it off as morning phlegm, but Pebbles called it out (expected). The PAX were a huge fan of the SSST, Frehley’s unexpectedly asked for a repeato following the 10 count that came after, but it was time to move on. Everyone put forth a momentus effort during the snatch test: Loogie was swinging a monster bell in YHC’s peripheral vision, Teddy opted for a bell that was 10lbs larger than his first choice (nice!), Gomer Pyle had a strong and steady effort, Frehley’s and Wingman kept a quick pace. Pebbles took his breaks at the top of the snatch, which was very strong, YHC didn’t see many breaks from him. He was however swinging a bell suited to a “strong, independent woman”; perhaps the man’s bell next time. In honesty, one of the best Pebbles efforts I’ve seen. It was an honor to sweat with you gents this morning. Looking forward to the next one. 10 minutes is a long time.

ENDEX & Announcements

  • Fast Five Race
  • Various mud races were mentioned…
  • YHC with the takeout

Yardwork

Claim Sanctuary: new 3rdF Thurs. nights

God made us in His image with a warrior’s heart to fight for what’s right.

F3Sanctuary, starting this week, will meet every Thursday, at 7:30pm at Brooklyn Pizza in Wesley Chapel. We will study who we are as men, the fight we face, and overcoming.

Sanctuary provides safety and brotherhood for men to gather spiritual strength, wisdom, and resolve. Join us.

Upper Body This Time

8 men came this morning to get stronger. Here’s what we did:

Warmup – SSH, 30 KB Swings, IW, 20 KB Deadlifts, Merkins, Peter-Parker, 20 Alternating KB Row w/ Jumpover the bell to switch sides each time.

The Thang:

Partner-up with like size bell
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: 8 Double KB Row
P2: Merkins until partner finishes
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: 8 Double KB Highpull
P2: Diamond merkins until partner finishes
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: 4 Single KB Lunge w/ Press, each side
P2: Wide-arm merkins until partner finishes
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: 8 Double KB Shoulder Press
P2: Carolina Dry Docks until partner finishes
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: 8 Double KB Shoulder Shrugs
P2: Rest until Partner finishes
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: 8 Double KB Curls, or Single KB Crush Curls
P2: Merkins until partner finishes
3 sets, flap-jack after each
P1: KB Pushups w/ Row, 4 each side alternating
P2: Merkins until partner finishes
1 set, flap-jack after each
P1: Farmer KB walk
P2: Staggered arm merkins until partner finishes

Not sure I’d call this Mary…
20 KB Skull Crushers
20 KB Russian Twists
20 Flutter w/ KB Press
8 Louganis w/ KB
Plank hold
1 arm side plank hold, each side
Finish with 20 Merkins OYO.

Name-o-rama
COP

The Naked Moleskin:
– Awesome group of men to build strength and character with this morning.
– I felt some PAX may have intentionally fartsacked after my last Meathead Q, “Leg Day” that left us all crippled for a week. #notgonnadothatagain
– After 2 days in a row of solid hair burner workouts (including 1 mile of hairburners w/ Stage Coach), I decided my legs needed a rest, so time to focus on upper body.
– Always fun to partner with Fletch as we have the same bells and who knows how many times we’ve traded ownership.
– Brown was responsibly modifying from the beginning to care for his tweeked back. Hopefully it’s feeling better.
– Blazing Saddles, Destiny and MAD have been consistent with posting to Meathead and getting stronger as a result!
– Horsehead and Hightide were crushing it.
– I’m grateful for the honor to lead and be among such fine men.

Merkinfest and Abapalooza

Mosey over to the other side of the church and circle up. Disclaimer given.

COP:
20 SSH
20 IW
20 Merkin

Run to the front parking lot along side Hwy 51. Suicide work. Run to each median, then 10 monkey humpers at the beginning. I think 7 total medians.

Then circle up for the start of the Super 21. 1 merkin, 1 lbc, 2 merkins, 2 lbs, 3 merkins, 3 lbcs all the way to 11. Mosey over to the hotbox. Pick back up at 12 merkins, 12 lbcs to 15. Then super set.

Super Set:

10 Split squats each leg
10 dips – slow and steady
10 skull crushers using the picnic tables
Rinse and repeat for 3 total rounds

Mosey over to parking lot close to rock pile. Then start with 10 squats, run to the end of the row for 10 squats, and keep followingg parking rows until complete. 5 sets. Pick back up at 16 merkins, 16 lbcs to 18. Run same course in reverse. Finish over Super 21 with 19, 20, and 21.

Then head over to rock pile and pick a lifting rock. 20 curls/tricep extensions/overhead press. Then 15, then 10. Mosey over to Northface for three trips up the hill. Mosey back to the launch point for Mary.

COM
50 LBCs OYO.
20 x Flutter
10 x Dolly
10 x Right leg can opener
10 x Left leg can opener
10 x Opposite toe taps
10 x Right leg cross crunch
10 x Left leg cross crunch

Moleskin: The group started off excited, and enjoyed giving me a hard time throughout. It all started off when I apparently picked the wrong place to circle up COP. A few PAX were confused. Then once we started with the suicides, apparently explaining instructions is not my strong suit so it took awhile until everyone knew were to perform their monkey humpers. I made it very, very, very clear when we got to the squats later. Geraldo made it clear that when doing monkey humpers with your friends, make sure to keep eye contact at all times or it would be weird. Flipper is obsessed about my mom for some reason, and thanks Gummie for the Northface suggestion. I needed to kill a few minutes. Great work everyone and I hope you all look better on the beach for it.

“We came all the way here just to do this”?

11 men and Radar posted for some running and what turned into quite a few merkins. No COP or disclaimer..we hit the streets.

The Thang:

Mosey down 51 towards Carmel Rd. 1 mile in stop for 1 minute of mountain climber OYO.

Keep moving towards Charlotte Catholic and stop at the benches out front: 25 dips, 25 wide armed merkins on top of the bench (renamed Table Humpers), and 15 close grip merkins on the bench.

Head to the parking deck. Start at the bottom and go to the top. Starting with 5 merkins at the first turn and adding 5 at each turn.

Bear crawl merkin from one side to the other (bear crawl 10 steps and do 5 merkins. Repeat until reaching the other side. Partner up for a partner wheelbarrow to the other side. Flap Jack in the middle

Head back down. This time with 5 squats at the first stop and adding 5 at each corner.

Stop for 50 dips at the benches in front.

Mosey up 51 to the office park on the C/O 51 and Carmel. 25 dips at the fountain. Move down the parking lot and partner up. Partner 1 does 20 merkins while partner 2 does LBCs. Flap Jack. The goal was to repeat until 1 but we got to around 10 for most of us (single digits for McGee and Swiper and high teens for Spack and Bounce) and called it due to time.

Mosey back to the school and partner up. 3 rounds of running and called exercise: Round 1: Partner 1 runs and partner 2 jump ups. Round 2: Partner 1 runs and partner 2 derkins. Round 3: Partner 1 runs and partner 3 incline merkins. Flap Jack in between.

Moleskin:
Nice work by all. Numbers were low until McGee and Pro ripped in the parking lot with about 2 minutes to spare. Spackler popped the curb literally as we were leaving the school. A lot of chatter and concern over the lack of COP and disclaimer. Truth be told, the disclaimer was an oversight and the COP was intentional. I think we can all do without a little SSH and IW. McGee seemed a big agitated over the lack of cadence duirng the dips. Sorry to let you down, man. Alf wasn’t a fan of the merkin/LBC ladder and was fairly vocal about it. Hats off to Spackler for showing up after a long night of hitting the sauce. He was looking pale, smelled like a hobo, and had a raging case of cotton mouth but he pushed through. The highlight of the workout for those of us who witnessed it was the moment we caught Bounce in some bizarre Glamour Shot pose glaring into Spacklers eyes for what seemed to be a very odd conversation. It was highly comical….yet highly disturbing at the same time.

We covered 4.48 miles (which was also Spacklers BAC) and cranked out, by my count, 355 merkins. Well done.

Announcements:

There was something, but I forget. My bad.

Take My Breath Away

Ahhh… the steamy sounds of Berlin… were NOT heard this morning!! However, 13 goats entered the coolness of the Spring morning to exhaust their lungs of air while pushing their muscles, stamina and form to new levels! By 0515 we were surprising all accounted for… both Nuke and Insomniac were present, and Mr. Brady had already informed me he was out… so we disclaimed and off we went.

The Thang:
1. Warm-up jog down Strawberry Ln, then stop halfway back for some dynamic stretching
2. 2 sets of :30-:30-1:00 at I-Pace with recovery jog between each back to the starting point
3. 1 set of 1:00-1:00-2:00 at I-Pace with 2-3 minute recovery jog between each back to the starting point
4. Repeat 2 sets of :30-:30-1:00 at I-Pace with recovery jog between each back to the starting point
5. Final 1:00 at I-Pace; Recovery/Cool-down jog back to parking lot, light stretching…. DONE!!

We completed between 5 and 5.5 miles… EXCELLENT JOB!

Moleskine:
You guys never give up! Lots of heavy breathing out there… but everyone continues to develop their running form and stamina as evidenced by not only the consistent pace of each of the runs, but also the pace itself. You guys are getting faster, and stronger!

HUGE welcome to Beefeater who YHC forgets is a site FNG… but not anymore! Great to have you, brother! The same for Gomer Pyle and Band-Aid, who are not site FNG’s, but aren’t as regular. You guys are very welcome to come as much as you want! Excellent job from all 3 of you this morning!

Brat and Joker led the segments… until Insomniac decided to leave it all on the last :30 segment… It was definitely as moving, if not more so, than Chariots of Fire… I think I heard it playing!

Tclaps to Icicle for joining YHC for a pre-run, plus sporting a new hair-less-do… he is just waiting for it to get a little warmer to show it off!!

Retread, Booyah, Nomad, Brew and Nuke… you guys are the heartbeat of the workout! Thanks for being there week-in/week-out and giving 100%.

Insomniac took us out with a great prayer.

Announcements:
1. Indian Land convergence on Saturday starting at 0630 at Indian Land Elementary. 0600 opportunity for some obstacle work.
2. Fastest 5k “competition” on Saturday May 21 at 4:00 at Fort Mill High School. Let Slim Fast know if you are interested in running as a team. Check the website for more details.