Life is busy so having a spreadsheet serve as a guide for a given workout is pretty helpful. Even when that spreadsheet is color coded to resemble a bowl of Fruit Loops and calls for exercises I’ve either never heard of or likely can’t perform, it’s still nice to have some ideas to pull from. So, with the Weinke all but written for me, I should’ve had plenty of time for a fresh playlist, right? Or, should I rip that off, too?
Warmup
1-minute elbow plank (crowd pleaser)
Hip circles
Lateral lunge, both sides, deep stretch
SSH x15
Two-handed swing x 10
Prying squat with bell
Two-handed swing x 10
Thang
Unilateral heavy rack squats – 5 sets, 3-5 reps each side
Single Arm Park Snatch – 3 sets, 5 reps each side
Lawnmower row – 10 reps each side, 5 each side
High pull – 10 reps each side, 5 each side
Forward lunge – 4 reps each side, 5 each side
Single leg Romanian Deadlift – 8 each side
Somersault Squat – 2x 10
50-yard Waiter cary, Somersault Squat x 10, 50-yard waiter carry
Tricep skull crusher x 10
Hollow body hold x 1 min
Elbow plank x 1 min
Moleskine
In the end, much like the workout itself, I compromised on the playlist – not a fresh 45 minutes of tunes but not a replay from previous workouts, either. It’d be too risky to just put my phone on shuffle and let it roll. It’d be my luck we’d be serenaded by an uncomfortable medley of Bell Biv DeVoe, Garth and Alanis. Some things you just can’t come back from. So with the unwritten rules of Playlist Duty in mind, I put together a still-reasonably-random mix of tunes that accomplished the goal – providing a diversion for the pax. And when you open the workout with an Elbow Plank, you’d better have a diversion! Speaking of Elbow Planks – which is longer: a 60-second plank with no music or a 60-second plank accompanied by the crooning of Eddie Vedder? I’ll hang up and listen.
These frigid, black January mornings aren’t so bad when your team’s in the playoffs.
Most of you made that connection years ago but, as a Cincinnati Bengals fan, this buzz is unfamiliar to me.
Sure, they’ve put together some decent records and have qualified for the postseason several times over the past two decades, but the Bengals haven’t been in the playoffs for more than 30 years. To say I’m excited would be quite an understatement. Heck, even our very own Icky Shuffle, who has his own complicated history with the Bungles, admitted to having pumped his fist and let out a celebratory (involuntary?) cheer as Money McPherson’s 52-yarder cleared the uprights last weekend to send Cincinnati to the AFC Championship game.
Despite the challenge that awaits Sunday in KC, it’s been a fun week. Heck, it’s been a fun season! So when Voodoo texts with a “hey, can you Q tomorrow” it’s a no-brainer. Certainly I can spare an hour from watching Joe Burrow hype videos and singing Who Dey parodies alone in my office. In fact, why not bring a little of the ‘Nati to Meathead?
So we did.
No, we didn’t get “creative” with our rep counts – matching player jersey numbers, memorable game scores or even years of ineptitude. We did, however, mix in a few of my Paul Brown Stadium favorite hits along with my normal barrage of 90’s alternative, early 00’s pop-punk and, more recent indie-pop tunes. So with the likes of “Bang the Drum All Day,” “Jungle Boogie,” and “Welcome to the Jungle” blaring in the background, here’s what we did:
Pregame
SSH x 20
IW x 20
2-hand swing x 10
Merkins x 10
low, slow squat x 10
2-hand swing x 10
Merkins x 10
Good Morning w/bell x 10
2-hand swing x 10
Gametime
A. Clean/Press
B. Squat/Clean
C. Heavy swing/Lawnmower
Q’s Choice:
Right leg walking lunge w/bell x 8, suitcase carry 50 yards, Romanian deadlift Right leg x 8
Left leg walking lunge w/bell x 8, suitcase carry 50 yards, Romanian deadlift Left leg x 8
Waiter carry w/bell 50 yards, High pull right x 10
Waiter carry w/bell 50 yards, High pull left x 10
Single arm snatch R x 10
Single arm snatch L x 10
Postgame
2-minute plank – elbows, hands, left arm high, left leg high, regular, right arm high, right leg high, regular, elbows
Hollow body hold x 1 minute
Presser
Fun morning with bits of mumble chatter mixed throughout to keep things interesting. Yes, much of the talk involved football and even included discussions around the origins of the Bengals “Who Dey” battlecry and debate over which came first, “Who Dey” or the Saints’ “Who Dat?”
Following the spreadsheet makes putting together a Weinke pretty cut and dry but engineering a playlist is always fun. As always, I appreciate the opportunity to lead, as well as the pax generous indulgence in my playoff excitement. Who Dey!
So last Friday was Christmas morning for me, figuratively speaking, of course.
Concert Season had finally arrived and the M and I were en route to Raleigh to see the Dave Matthews Band tour opener. Cloud 9. Just when I’m thinking the day can’t get any better I receive an email – yes, email, not a slack, DM, tweet… – from Unplugged, seeing if I can Q the following Wednesday. I replied that I’d be happy to but warned that the workout would fall in between my four-show mini-tour – Dave Week, as I call it – and that it would only make sense to use a DMB playlist for the workout. Unplugged didn’t budge. “Bring on the DMB,” he said, which told me one thing – He was hard up for a Q!
My favorite part of Meathead in 2021 has been the musical “discussions” that break out each week.
“What defines a ballad?”
“How do Poison and The Foo Fighters stack up to each other?”
“Which era is better – 80s? 90s? 2000s?”
The one guarantee each week is there will be plenty of banter around the chosen tunes and this morning’s workout was no different.
Luckily for the pax, over the weekend a buddy turned me on to Umphrey’s McGee’s Zonkey album (12-track mashup covering the likes of Marley, Talking Heads, Chicago and Frank Zappa – and that’s just one song), which gave me an idea. Rather than risk getting blackballed from future DJ opportunities for subjecting the pax to 45 minutes of DMB, why not improve my odds with 30+ songs across multiple genres and eras all mashed together?
If anything it was something new and gave us something to think about other than what’s below.
Warmup
SSH x 20
IW x 10
Good Morning w/KB x 10
Prying Squat w/KB
Merkins x 10
2-Handed Swing x 10
Main Event
7’s with both KB swings and KB press
4 x 10 x 2 – four exercises, 10 reps, two sets
Farmer carry R 40 yds, L 40 yds
4 x 10 x 2 – four exercises, 10 reps , two sets
Waiter carry (R 40 yds, L 40 yds)
90 second plank medley
Encore
* My goal for the workout was to hit the entire body and get our heart rates up. We didn’t actually get as many reps as scripted (only 132 swings) but I think the mission was accomplished. To my surprise, the cleans stood out the most from all the exercises. It’d been a while since I had looked forward to getting to squats.
* You’ve heard of a three dog night? Well today was a two-hat morning for me. I brought two speakers just in case one failed. Also brought two hats cause I knew the sweat would be pouring! The heat/humidity didn’t disappoint.
* As always, I appreciate the opportunity to lead at Meathead – thank you. It was a good morning that’s bound to affect tomorrow’s golf round – but since Frehleys liked the music it was all worth it! Here’s the album for those who are curious: https://open.spotify.com/album/5GHLXH6qgXR4Gq10bmFfEo?si=Jmn9hBKxQMyXybaR7fMvgQ&dl_branch=1
Sophomoric humor was on display this morning at Fast Twitch. So were tights, but we’ll get to that.
YHC wanted to give the other 21 pax a variety of running drills. The idea was to get the heart rate up but still log some miles. Apparently “Long and slow, short and sweet,” wasn’t the most eloquent description. Still, that’s what we did, to the tune of between 5.8 and 6 miles.
Two laps around the SCMS parking lot with a mix of forward running, backwards running, high knees and butt kicks.
Group run South on Strawberry, stopping at the bottom of Colburn Court.
11’s on Colburn – squats at the bottom, knee slappers/high knees/knee tucks (or just bend over and touch your knees) at the top.
Mosey in the other direction up towards the intersection of Colburn and Bevington.
Partner up for Catch Me If You Can. Partner One runs down Bevington towards Rea, Partner Two does 10 walking lunges then chases down partner one. R&R until both partners reach the corner of Bevington and Rea.
Mosey up Rea to Calvary, Entrance 4, for the Triple-Triple
Run up the driveway backwards, one-legged squat at top, run back down forwards, other leg squat at bottom X 3
Group run back up Rea to corner of 51. First 11 to arrive take off for an Indian Run to the Davie Park entrance then jailbreak back to SCMS parking lot. The second group does the same. Swayze does his own thing.
‘Skin
Great group this morning and great effort. Lots of innuendos, which, as men, we’ll apparently never outgrow. I received a text yesterday from the co-site Q (the one that sends all the emails, not the fast one) more or less egging me on to lead a track workout. Not sure if he really wanted to run in circles this morning or if he just wanted to watch me defend myself against what would’ve surely been an unhappy group. I didn’t take the bait and after teasing it on the Twitter it’s a good thing. One pax even went as far as tweeting that maybe today would be a good day to attend Swift. Gloves off. To their credit, all the Twitter bullies showed up this morning even with a track workout still on the table (as far as they knew). You know who you are – good to see you all.
As we all know it was a little chilly this morning – like long sleeves and toboggan chilly, not tundra chilly. Still, there were a few pax in tights. I won’t out you in this post but Gummy put it best when he asked “what are you going to do when it actually gets cold?” Still, even with tight pants on display, the most offensive article of clothing was Baracus’ hat.
Appreciate the opportunity to lead such a fine group this morning. It’s been several weeks since I’ve been out to FT and today was a good reminder of what I’ve been missing. Looking forward to next time.
Announcements:
– Sign up for the Christmas party (on the Website or contact Geraldo)
– Sign up for Thanksgiving football (contact Spackler or Brown)
– Sign up to be the Toy Q for a local toy drive (contact Joker for details)
Twenty five pax made it out for the best worst hour of the week otherwise known as Fast Twitch. With the BRR fast approaching today seemed like a good time to focus on some hill work. So we did:
Lap around the parking lot with some butt kicks and high knees
Mosey to bottom of Rising Meadow
– 50% up to second street light (100 yards-ish) and back down
– 50%
– Karaoke Left
– Karaoke Right
– AYG
– Backwards
– AYG
– Side shuffle left
– Side Shuffle right
– Suicide
Mosey to bottom of Windbluff
Rd 1
Partner 1 – AYG up the hill to the cart path, back
Partner 2 – Squats
Flapjack
Rd 2
Partner 1 AYG up/down X2
Partner 2 Forward alternating lunges, reverse alternating lunges
Flapjack
Rd 3
Partner 1 AYG up/down X3
Partner 2 Freddie Mercury, plank
Flapjack
AYG back up to corner of Windbluff and Raintree. Line up for Indian Run back to SCMS.
Down to the track for 400’s until the six arrives.
100-yard dash X2
Great work today, fellas. The plan was simple: high intensity, short distances, lots of hills. The Garmin shows we “only” ran five miles but considering we did the bulk of it on 100-200-yard inclines it was pretty tough. Good to have Fletch back out today. You would’ve never known he hasn’t been running regularly. It’s also nice to see someone finally challenge Mr Brady. The numbers at Fast Twitch continue to impress. Today we were down a handful of regulars and still had 25. It’s much more fun to side shuffle up a hill with a bunch of dudes – especially shirtless dudes – than it is by yourself. Always an honor to lead. Thanks to Semi Gloss for the thoughtful sendoff.
Announcements:
Sign up on the site for Southern Discomfort. You can run the full 14 miles or create your own route/distance. We need a solid count to ensure there’s enough water and Gatorade. 8/1 (Sat) – F3 Southern Discomfort Area 51 CSAUP event for Saturday, August 1st. Three options to provide opportunity for all to enjoy! HC now using SignUp Genius. First sign-up button for the event, second button to purchase the t-shirt. T-claps to Iron Horse for the design! http://www.signupgenius.com/go/20F0545ABA62BA7FD0-southern/927364
One week after a Slimfast-led track beat down 21 pax showed up at Fast Twitch this morning – including several site FNGs. As more and more pax moseyed out of their cars I started to wonder if the previous week’s trip down to the track – long overdue to say the least – was actually a drawl. Maybe these guys are looking for 60 minutes of unmarked circular wind sprints? Maybe it’s the tomatoes? Maybe I should scrap my plan and just deal with Spackler’s ridicule?
Or…
The Thang
Lap around parking lot with some karaoke, forward jogging and backward jogging to loosen up. Turn right out of the parking lot on Strawberry Lane towards Rosecliff. “It’s not too late to turn around,” I thought, as Purple Haze reminded the group of a Tiger Rag juke a few months ago that ultimately led the pax back to the track for fast-paced repeats. We continued on to the entrance of Rosecliff and circled up for:
Disclaimer
SSH 25
Group run to bottom of Coburn, emphasis on “bottom.”
11’s from bottom of Coburn to the top. Deep squats at the bottom, knee tucks at the top. Silence ensued.
Plank
Mosey to corner of Coburn and Bevington
Partner up for Catch Me If You Can. Partner one runs while partner two does 10 walking lunges, then chases down partner one. Repeat for nearly a mile until we hit the corner of Rea and Bevington.
Plank
Mosey to Calvary Church, Entrance 4. Provide disclaimer that this particular area is infested with fire ants. Proceed to announce the Backwards Triple-Triple: One leg (right) squat at bottom of Entrance 4 hill, run up backwards, one leg squat (left) at top of hill, run down forward. Rinse and repeat two more times.
Line up for the longest Indian Run known to man. Not only is it more than 1.5 miles back to home base but there were also 21 pax. Twenty one fairly-winded pax.
Moleskin
Hopefully no one was too disappointed that we ventured out and didn’t see the track today. It is awesome that so many new guys are coming out to Fast Twitch each week. Keep coming. It’s a lot more fun to run hill repeats and do lunges in the middle of a neighborhood with a big group. I hope everybody felt like they got their money’s worth this morning. We covered nearly 5.7 miles – most of which was at a fast pace. Thanks to Mr Brady for the thoughtful send off and, as always, thanks to Turkey Leg and Haze for the opportunity to lead.
Announcements
Sign up for F3 Golf
Horsehead is accepting PayPal donations (jasonposton@gmail.com) to help Zip-A-Dee, a brother in need. Put “F3 Zip” in the PayPal comments section. Donations are being accepted until April 3.
Since BRR registration is now open 10 pax got a jump start on training for next year’s race with a heavy dose of hill repeats.
The Thang
Two-lap warm-up around the SCMS parking lot. Mix of exercises including: high knees, butt kicks, toe walk, heel walk, side shuffles and backwards run.
Mosey to the bottom of Rising Meadow for 11’s with a twist.
At bottom of hill pax do jump squats.
At top of hill pax do merkins.
On even number runs (laps 2, 4, 6, 8, 10) backwards run up the hill.
Mosey to bottom of Windbluff for Triple Nickel and ab work.
Partner one: Triple Nickel – five lunges (each leg) at bottom of hill, run to top, five merkins at top of hill, run back down X 5
Partner two: 100 LBC, 100 Nipplers, 50 Dolly, 100 Freddie Mercury, Plank
Flapjack
Indian run back to the top of Woodfox, jailbreak from Woodfox to SCMS parking lot.
COP
25 LBC OYO
stretch/butterfly
Moleskine
Great effort from the pax today. The backwards runs on 11’s brought on a good burn and Windbluff always hurts. Since the track is rarely well-received I tried to disguise some speed work in the way of hills. I think it worked. Always appreciate the opportunity to lead this group of guys. Thanks to Mr Brady, AKA site chaplain, for the send off.
Announcements
Registration is closed for this Saturday’s holiday party. If you haven’t signed up/paid but want to attend get in touch with Prohibition.
Registration is still open for the Joe Davis 5K and 10K.