Because I tend to be indecisive sometimes and have been really busy at work this week, I didn’t feel like I could put the time and energy into making the big decision of running regular route or the reverse route. I know what you are thinking, “dude, just pick one”. But its much harder than that. It’s very strategic. Do we start with a large hill the first mile or do we coast into the run with a gradual downhill for the first mile? Do we pass the only pit stop locations at mile 2.5 or at mile 3.5? Does that even matter now that Alf proved to the whole world that you can hold in a turtle head for 4 miles? Do we start with the black abyss that is Old Providence or do we finish on Old Providence in the day light? What would Semi Gloss do? If we do the regular route and Jello shows up for his Jello Run, will he care that he may be totally alone? Why won’t Hannibal eat any donuts? Do we run 51 mostly uphill or mostly uphill because both directions feel uphill? Which route delivers the best 2nd F donut numbers? Why does Swiper always talk so much while running fast? Will Hairball wear the Lululemon attire if we run the regular route? It’s 9:51 and I’m hungry, should I eat a bagel at Panera or should I wait until my lunch at 11:30? Should we run the regular route, since it gives us a better chance to heckle Death Valley? Will people think differently of me if they knew my favorite donut at DD was the Bowtie? Does Turkey Leg know he is as short as he really is?
Anyways, I didn’t think I could answer all these questions yesterday. My head just wasn’t in it. So, we showed up and everyone (or someone) just said regular. That guy is decisive! It was probably Swiper since he talks so much #HIM.
Until next week!
BW
Two courses today were run and three truth nuggets are below. The reverse Donut Run and the new Long John course. I didn’t realize, but apparently a Long John is a type of donut. This is one thing that I learned today.
The second thing I learned today, which is honestly more important as it relates to all of us, is Alf’s sphincter is like a steel door. Let me provide some background: Apparently, Alf started to feel the urge to find a bathroom around mile 3 of the 7.5 mile run. He was passing the Arboretum and many options were available to him (Panera, CFA, McDonalds, Walmart, a gas station, etc.). But he rebuffed the urge and decided to drop it into low gear for the rest of the way and perform some type of mind juju to contain it. This was effective and he made it back to Dunkin, through COT, and then locked himself in the bathroom (thankfully Semi Gloss was not present or we could have had a fist-a-cuffs for the bathroom). This kind of got me thinking: Some people never have to go and can hold it for extreme amounts of time (while running) while others must pop a squat at every workout. Hence the Sphincter-O-Meter: a scale from 1-10 on how likely someone is to stop and open the gates. In this example, Alf is a solid 10. That man can shut the gates and nothing goes in and nothing goes out. On the opposite end would be a 1, or Semi Gloss. The moment he increases the pace over a brisk walk, everything starts to move. For me, I’d say I am a 6. I don’t have to stop on most runs. Although, I have on occasion had to stop mid run. Some locational highlights for me are behind the pool house at Mountainbrook Pool or next to the TWC building off of Morehead (conveniently an elevated position to watch the cars pass on South Blvd. Both times an article of clothing was sacrifice.
Anyways, feel free to let us all know where you feel like you fall on the Sphincter-O-Meter.
Thirdly, Tiger Rag portrays a Russell Athletic appearance but deep down (or just beneath that Russell Athletic shirt), he’s a Lululemon guy.
BW
Let’s flip and reverse it. Because that’s how the cool kids talk these days. Last week, I was disappointed by how little of you stayed for donuts. It was all Semi’s fault though.
Topic to discuss: Should I make a royalty fee by licensing out the Donut Run concept to other F3 regions? Lexington, SC now has one (http://f3nation.com/2017/03/12/donut-run-hold-onto-your-hats/). How much should I get paid?
Route: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827
Launch times:
515: 830-8:45 pace
520: 8:00-8:15 pace
525: 7:30-7:45 pace
530: 7:00-7:15
Tomorrow, we are running the regular route. Take the kick in the pants the first mile and deal with it. Your reward is donuts. Lots and lots of donuts.
Route: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827
Launch times:
515: 830-8:45 pace
520: 8:00-8:15 pace
525: 7:30-7:45 pace
530: 7:00-7:15
SYITG
17 for this edition of Donut Run. We did the same thing as we always do: crush 6 miles and then pound donuts. Semi loves it. A couple of observations:
1. Watch out for cars on Rea. Even though they have multiple lanes, some refuse to move over for a runner.
2. Semi’s knee brace is something else. At mile 5, he kept saying “Ahhh, my knee, I hate Fast Twitch.” And also “Why am I even running, this is stupid.” I just gave him many “Atta-boys!”. At this point, Hannibal offered up a 3 point outline on improving your weaknesses a little but still focusing on your strengths so you can differentiate yourself from your competitors. We will all be invoiced his hourly consultancy rate of $350/hour.
**At Donut Run, our weakness is running but our strength is donuts. This is our new vision statement.
3. Speaking of Hannibal, he finishes the Whole 30 next Tuesday. I expect him to eat 12 donuts after next Wednesdays run to make up for all the missed donuts the last 30 days.
4. Rebar and Retread are getting faster. Also, they should start a BRR team with all the Re’s in F3.
5. No one is more committed to getting a run in than Marvel. Leaves the running shoes at the office and says “F’ it, I’m wearing my basketball shoes!” And that you did. Nice run rocking the Nike high tops. No twisted ankles today #ankleweights. If I would have known, we would have stopped at Davie Park for a mid-run game of H-O-R-S-E.
6. Jello ran his namesake route. The 4.5 mile run is now called the Jello Run.
7. Kirk is till looking for another runner for the Smokey Mountain Relay. It starts in 2 days. You got time.
8. The donut time was dominated by discussion about Swiper’s new baby and Swiper’s farting.
I’m limping along through marathon training and nursing a sore shin. May or may not be there. So, Tiger Rag will be your chauffeur on the run. Then someone needs to write a clever and witty BB that I can enjoy and picture myself eating donuts with everyone.
You are running the REGULAR route.
Start times
515: 815-8:30 pace
520: 730-7:45 pace
530: 645-7:00 pace
19 #PR swayed through the course with the grace of an African Gazelle. We ran the reverse course. Hannibal is on day 3 of the Whole 30. I thought I was going to have to carry him back to Dunkin Donuts. Good thing I had that extra donut in my pocket that I could give him for sustenance #DoubleChocolate. Horsehead was really down in the dumps at mile 4. I gave him the “you are some body talk” and he perked up just enough to not finish last. Gummy pulled in a little late and started complaining immediately (which I admit is his wheelhouse). Next time, just fill out a comment card and send to management. Tolkein and Bunker got weird on Strava and are hence banned from running together. Kirk employed the group hopping technique for his run (fast, hangout with group, fast, hangout, etc.). Turkey Leg just dropped the deuce hammer on everyone.
Lots of guys stayed for donuts. We even got yelled at for being too loud by the employees. Come on, we are the reason you are successful from 6:15-6:30am on Wednesday mornings.
Great to see so many out enjoying the perfect running weather!
please launch on time and everyone will be happy and eat lots of donuts. Boom. This week, we will run the REVERSE route: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827
Everybody knows the rules:
515: 815-8:30 pace
520: 730-7:45 pace
530: 645-7:00 pace
BW
Tomorrow you will have the amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity to run 6 miles and then eat donuts. It may never happen again. Seize this opportunity and don’t let go.
We meet at the Dunkin Donuts at Rea/Colony at a launch time below. We will run the REGULAR route (Rea/51/Providence/Candlewyck/Rea), all left turns.
Map: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827
Launch times and paces:
510: 930-9:45 pace
515: 815-8:30 pace
520: 730-7:45 pace
530: 645-7:00 pace
540: Fraiser
SYITG
15 came and conquered the course, or at least some of the course. Kirk and his FNG (Gridlock) opted for the 5 mile route, and Icky MAF’ed all up and down Rea. Hairball doubled back multiple times just so he could pass people more than once.
I rolled in hot and launched with Agony at the back of the pack. On Rea, the group ahead of us was honked at. The next car yelled at us (I think they said “Excellent FORM!!!”). Then a massive Owl landed 5 feet from me in a yard. I took it as a warning shot. A shot across the bow. Agony deployed defensive counter measures by rubbing his prayer beads and pulling out the Sword of the Spirit.
14 stayed for donuts and chocolate milk (the perfect post run recovery drink). Golden Mule was none too pleased with the Google Fiber shirts. If you bring me an AT&T Fiber shirt, I will wear it. I do not discriminate against free t-shirts. Horeshead showed up late (due to a bowel malfunction) and was pissed that Semi left on time. Next week’s episode of “The Gloss and the Head” should be riveting. I won #ParentoftheDay award at home by bringing home donuts for the kids. Not only is a Donut Run a good run with great 2nd F, but we make men better parents #proven.
Goonie said it was his first time running 6 miles. Well done! You beasted the course!