Headlamps Shmeadlamps

Headlamps Shmeadlamps

9 SOB’s (including Hairball, who is an SOB since he frequents Devil’s Turn, an SOB workout) posted at The Brave after promises of new territory exploration.  Doubting Thomas, I mean Tussauds, said it couldn’t be done, but he was too busy kicking tail at the D.C. Battlefrog to bear witness.

After a quick disclaimer and detailed explanation of what would take place (“exercise” using “gravity”, “our bodies” and “things along the way”) we ventured out into the great beyond, with a new moon and cloud cover to not light our way.  Did we need headlamps?  Yes. Did we bring headlamps?  No.  Why?  Because #America. 9 of us departed, and after 4.4 miles and various obstacles, 9 returned, each on 2 strong American legs #nocankles.  Take that, ISIS.

The Route

The Thang

Mosey across Johnston Rd and into Ballantyne Hotel parking lot.  Immediate left onto path.  Follow to tunnel that goes under Ballantyne Corp Place by the SPX building.

Tunnel

Relay race: Form 2 teams.  Relay race from one end of the tunnel to the other, and back.

Ascending Curb Crawl: Line up on left wall of tunnel.  Bear crawl to opposite side, turn and place feet on curb to complete 1 derkin, crawl back and complete 2 derkins, continue to 13 (91 total derkins). #crowdpleaser

Continue mosey on golf course paths to patio behind Calhoun building (next to construction site on N. Community House Rd.).  Partner up.

Partner 1: Mosey to retaining wall between Calhoun and Everett buildings and muscle-up and onto each section of the wall as it stair-cases up.  Run back to patio the long way around the building.  Oops! construction site is blocking the way.  Turn around and run around building again back to patio.  Flapjack w/ partner.

Partner 2: Rotate between 10 depth jumps for height and 10 derkins using patio wall.  Continue until partner returns.  Flapjack.

Mosey to patio behind Everett building.

Partner 1: Mosey to circle path between Everett and Hayes buildings and bear crawl 360 degrees around circle.  Run back to patio the long way around the building.  Flapjack w/ partner.

Partner 2: Rotate between 10 depth jumps for distance and 10 incline merkins using patio wall.  Continue until partner returns.  Flapjack.

Mosey to patio behind Hayes building.

Partner 1: Mosey to circle between Everett and Hayes buildings and lunge walk 360 degrees around circle.  Run back to patio the long way around the building.

Partner 2: Rotate between 10 jump-ups w/ squat and 10 CDD’s w/ feet on patio wall.  No time to flapjack on this one.  The main event awaits.

Mosey through Woodward and Met Life courtyard and across Ballantyne Commons Pkwy to steep hill on West side of N. Community House Rd.

Partner 1 runs up and down hill (carefully) while partner 2 performs burpees.  Flapjack until 40 cumulative burpees are performed.

Mosey South to bigger/steeper hill on West side of N. Community House Rd.

Partner 1 runs up and down hill (very carefully) while partner 2 performs merkins.  Continue for 4 minutes.

Mosey back to Vine ‘Merican Kitchen the short way.

Moleskine

• YHC doesn’t recall who was on what tunnel relay team, but the important thing to document is that Tolkien’s team lost.  Tolkien actually managed to lose twice in one race because he ran 2 legs due to an odd number of PAX.  His team is waiting for an apology.
• Speaking of Tolkien, word is he was tapering this morning for an upcoming round of golf later today.  Didn’t he realize he was already on a golf course?  How much golf does one person need?  YHC hopes he left enough in the talk for driving a cart around and drinking.
• Did someone mention Tolkien?  Despite the all too common “golf taper”, Tolkie tried to jump on a section of retaining wall that was clearly too high for a man of his advanced age.  He predictably came up short and wound up in a sort of spiderman pose on the side of the retaining wall (he even had a red shirt on to complete the look).  #nospideysense
• The hills on the side of N. Community House are big and bad and we should go there more often. #whoneedsnorthface
• Great effort this morning.  We moseyed at a brisk pace and stuck together throughout the workout.
• During name-o-rama we were joined by 3 FND’s (friendly new ducks) who sheepishly joined COT.  Expect to see Crackers, Canuck and The Donald at a workout near you.
• Honor to lead, as always

Announcements

• Community service project at Presby on ProvL May 14th – preblast
• Day Zero Memorial Day Convergence: May 28th
• Check out F3 Dad’s camp – it is 75% full
• Contact JRR Tolkien ASAP to sign up for Ragnar Relay (at Anne Springs) in October